A/N: Having read the last chaper back after posting, I noticed a few inconsistences with the time line. I mentioned that Molly had started therapy after the evenst of New Year, not before. I've edited this chapter slightly, taking that into account. Please R&R

Therapy

"So how has everything been? It's been a while since we last saw each other, now you're back from leave."

Molly let out a sigh as she shifted on the leather sofa trying to get comfy. It's all well and good these bleedin' movies showing the patients laid out nice an comfy and relaxed as they spilled the beans; what they failed to tell you is how bloody uncomfortable the sofas actually are. Molly looked down at her hands as she brushed a piece of lint from her beret, trying to organise her chaotic thoughts.

"Molly?" Dr Watts prompted, an octave higher than usual, drawing Molly's attention back into the room. There was something ethereal about the doctor sat opposite her, with her tall willowy frame, and soft soothing voice. She looked almost fragile and childlike in her appearance. Her luscious coffee tresses fell effortlessly down her back in soft waves. Her dainty face, bare of makeup, was dominated by bright sparking blue eyes that she hid behind black framed glasses. Looks can be deceiving though, something Molly had learnt the hard way. Although she looked fragile, Dr Watts was a formidable force refusing to back down when things got tough.

"Things 'av bin getting better, since New Year an that." Molly spoke softly.

Dr Watts eyed Molly carefully, "I know we haven't talked much about the events that brought you here. Do you think you're ready now?" Molly gave an embarrassed chuckle as she rubbed her forehead wearily. She didn't know why it was so difficult to talk to a complete stranger about her experiences; as a soldier herself Molly knew, deep down, that Dr Watts had seen and done traumatic things too.

"I had another panic attack. It brought back more memories of Afghan."

"Do you know what triggered this one? Was it like before?" Dr Watts as, jotting down notes on the pad in front of her.

"It was those bleedin' fireworks. I was fine until I heard all the bangin'. I thought I was back there, under fire. I couldn't stop the memories, they came so quick, one after the other. Thank God Charles was there to bring me back. He always seems to know what to say or do to calm me down. He keeps me focused and grounded. Bit like an anchor. Best not tell him that though. His heads big enough as it is" Molly joked with a smile. Dr Watts grinned as she observed Molly's face light up, the anxiety and worry disappearing. It was clear that she had not had the easiest of upbringings. If she had learnt anything about Molly these last few weeks, it was that she was a fighter; she had spent her life building up an impenetrable wall around herself as a way of coping with the shit hand that life had dealt her. It was clear that, whilst the Army had been the making of her, it was the love and support of her former commanding officer that had really helped her to flourish into the confident soldier and person she was now. Charles had managed, with patience and care, to slowly dismantle her wall brick by brick. With his help Molly was beginning to trust in humanity again as she slowly began building a new life for herself.

"Have you had any since? I know the last time you were here we talked about you going to the stadium as a guest of honour at the next game. How did you find it going back after what happened? Dr Watts asked.

Molly shifted uneasily on the couch, her eyes drawn to the patterned carpet under her feet. "It was hard obviously. The minute I set foot on the pitch all I could see an think about was Smurf as he fell down. I remember feeling helpless as the paramedics took him away. It was different in Afghan. I could actually do something to help when they were hurt. It's funny, I've felt like I've had this dark cloud hanging over me since I've been back."

"Do you still feel like that now?"

"When I was walkin' round that pitch, all I wanted was to see a familiar face. I was stood in front of thousands of people and I'd never felt so alone. I could feel the panic rising. An then all of a sudden, the black clouds lifted an a thin beam of light shone down on the pitch where I stood, almost as if Smurf was there watchin me like. I ain't one to believe in people sending signs beyond the grave an that. But it was comforting to think that he might be looking down on us. It felt right somehow. I know he would want me to be happy an I think I've finally come to terms with that and I'm gunna do my best to make him proud."

"Well done. It certainly sounds like you've made great progress in accepting what happened. I'm proud of you." Dr Watts smiled at Molly as she bowed her head in embarrassment, a blush tinging her cheeks.

"I'm glad I did it, it did me good I think. I was brickin' it mind. But those breathing exercises helped. Dad was beside himself at getting to meet his heroes. He even said he was proud of me. He's never said that before. It was nice to hear it." Molly spoke with wonder.

"You talked about wanting to mend fences with your dad. Do you think this will help you both achieve that?" It had taken Molly a while before she opened up about her home life, particularly during the time on basic, when things had been at there worse for the Dawes family. Molly and Dave's feud had reached a new level, almost tearing the family apart.

"I dunno. He seems like he's tryin. He's helpin' mum out more with the kids now she's workin'. He don't go out drinking as much now and the arguments an blazing rows have stopped. He ain't one for tellin you how he feels but he's definitely been nicer since I've been back. He certainly seemed to have charmed everyone from 2 Section when they showed up in support. I'll admit it was lovely to see them all again, even if they did do me nut in. Charles gave me a right bollockin' about not tellin the lads in the first place. I told him I didn't want any fuss."

"I bet he didn't take that very well," Dr Watts replied with a chuckle. Molly snorted and rolled her eyes. "Too right he didn't. He kept saying I should be proud of what I done and that I had the potential to be an exceptional medic if only I stopped holdin' meself back and believed in meself more."

"Well do you? Believe you can be an exceptional medic? I've seen your file and I must admit I'm inclined to agree with Captain James. You've certainly proven you can do it. The Question is where do you want to go from here?

"I dunno. I'm looking into a few options, I'm thinking of doin the NCO route. It's hard to think too far ahead if you know what I mean. It was bad enough thinkin' about my first PT session since Afghan. Not to mention my CO was complainin' I hadn't put me hours in at the firing range." Molly broke off, chewing her lip, something she only did when she was worried or anxious.

Dr Watts eyed Molly for a few seconds. She knew Molly's reluctance to return to the firing range was a direct result of the events that had happened on the bridge. Despite knowing it was the right choice, Molly still felt immensely guilty and uneasy with having taken someone's life. As a medic her priority is to save lives, not take them.

"How did it go?"

Molly raised an eyebrow, "The PT session was fine, I posted me best time during the 5K run. I reckon all that runnin' I've been doin' round Bath to clear me head has finally paid off. Charles will be impressed. He was convinced I was slacking over the Christmas holidays. Cheeky sod!"

Mr Watts sent Molly an arch look, knowing full well she was avoiding the real issue.

"What was it like being back on the firing range?"

"As soon as I felt the weight of the weapon in me hand it brought it all back. I can't stop replayin those five minutes in me head over and over. Every time I focused on the target all I could see was Badrai's face. His cold, piercing eyes when he recognised me. I can't help thinking what would have happened if I hadn't run back. If I'd shot his sooner, would it have made a blind bit of difference? I had this friend who I met during basic training. He were convinced the Army was there to solely break you down so they could rebuilt you back up to how they wanted. So you'd kill and not blink an eye lid. I didn't. Not in the end. I aimed that weapon an' pulled the trigger without a second thought. Everything was chaos. There was no time to think."

"Was it like that at the range?"

"Not really. Yeah you have the CO barkin orders at ya an that, but I had time to think about each move I were makin'. I could focus on me breathin, check me aim to make sure I hit the target. Which I did. Every bloody time. I've never done that before. It weren't like that in Afghan. I think that's what's so hard. It was like I was havin one of those out of body experiences. Like I was watchin' someone else in me place. Time seemed to slow down an all I could do was wait to see it I'd hit the target."

"As a medic you were perfectly within your rights to protect both yourself and your patient. Let me ask you this Molly. Do you regret it? If you had the chance to do it all again, would you do anything differently?" Molly paused, deep in thought.

"Honestly? No, probably not. I remember tellin Chris Ingrams during basic that I'd happily take a bullet for anyone in my section. I know deep down that those bullets were meant for me. It shouldn't have happened to them. I was the one who went an kiboshed Bashira's life and broke up her family. Badrai wanted me dead. If it comes down to it, I'd do it again to protect those boys in my section."

"What happened on that bridge wasn't your fault Molly. It was a combination of factors that you had no control over. You were doing your job, the same as anyone else. The only way you're going to be able to move on is if you let the guilt go. You'll get there it just takes time."

"That's what Charles keeps tellin me."

"Smart man, your Charles. You'd do well to listen to his advice every once in a while." Molly laughed

"I'm workin on it Doc."

"I know. You're nearly there Molly. Now, on a lighter note, what are your plans for the weekend? I'm intrigued to know what lovely anecdotes you'll be subjecting me to during out next session." Molly's mouth twitched as a wicked grin immerged. Dr Watts raised an eyebrow in question. "That look doesn't bode well Molly."

"Me an the Bossman are off to Newham to babysit the little bleeders whilst me parents have a date night. I'm not sure he knows what he's let himself in for, poor bugger." Moly chuckled to herself as she got up, moving slowly towards the door.

"You sound far too gleeful about that prospect Private Dawes."

"Oh I know doc, I know. I'd better go, Bossman is waiting outside. See you next week." Dr Watts shook her head as she watched the young private almost bounce out the door.

"Good luck Captain James, something tells me you might need it."