Things calmed down after our fight ended. We both laughed at Johnny because he seemed afraid to come anywhere near us, for fear we'd start at it again.

"Don't worry, Johnnycakes, we kissed and made up," Pony teased. He had taken the knife and was trying to even out my hair.

"I can't believe you did this," he said.

"I can't believe you care," I responded. Perhaps as much as everyone said we were alike, that was the fundamental difference: Pony cared about his hair, and I didn't. I suggested that, and he laughed. After our fight, I was feeling closer to Pony than I had since we were little. I felt like things were more right with us than they had been for a long time.

While he cut, I had taken some burlap bags from the groceries Johnny had come back with and was trying to create some makeshift shoes out of them. Even with them tied around my feet, I still needed more padding, so I stole some of the stuffing that the mice had left from the abandoned pew cushions and shoved it inside the burlap. As I went to slide it in, my arm scraped against my calf and I felt an uncomfortable sensation. I pulled up my pant leg and saw a large jagged scratch, crusted with dried blood. It took a moment but I remembered jumping out the train door, scratching my leg on the bolt as Pony pulled me out. I touched it and felt a sting. I wet my fingers and tried to wipe off some of the dried blood. It didn't look great. Pony was oblivious to what I was doing, and I asked "Johnny, did you use all the peroxide on Pony's hair?"

"Yeah, why, you wanna go blonde too?"

"Well, I was hoping…" I dropped the pant leg. There was nothing I could do about it anyway. I'd wash it off at the well later.

____________

Days went by slowly and we filled them as best we could with poker, reading, and sleeping. After a couple days I couldn't even remember what day it was, or how long we had been at the church.

One afternoon, Pony and I sat against the church and watched the hawks circling, hunting for mice. Every now and then one of them would dive down toward the field and pop back up with a mouth full of rodent. I felt slightly bad for the mice but couldn't really take issue with the food chain, in general. I certainly wouldn't have passed up a nice big cheeseburger at that moment.

"Scout, I've been thinking about what you said when we were fighting before, about being a strain on us, the family…

"I am." I was just being honest.

"You know that Darry gets money from the state to take care of us, right?"

"He does?" I hadn't known. "What, like a babysitting fee?"

"No, like an allowance. For each of us. Every month."

"Why? Parents don't get money from the state for raising their kids."

"He's not our parent, Scout. He's just our guardian. Technically we're orphans. We're wards of the state until we're sixteen."

"What does that mean?"

"It means the state looks out for us and supports us. That's why they send people to check up on us, to make sure Darry is taking care of us and not out spending the state's money on beer or girls or something."

I laughed. Darry had very little time for beer or girls lately. In fact I wished he and Ali had more time for each other.

"I didn't know that, Pony. I've been worried since they died that I was too expensive to keep around. Why doesn't anybody tell me this stuff?"

"I don't know, I guess Darry just doesn't want you worrying about it."

"I'm not a baby, Pony. Like I keep having to remind everybody, I'm twelve, not five. And I was worrying about it. I would've worried less if I knew."

"I guess you're right about that. I don't know, I guess you should talk to Darry about it when you get back. Tell him you want to know more about what's going on."

I thought about it. Maybe I would.

Johnny came out not long after and we set up some traps to try and catch a rabbit. They were all over the place. The boys had some crazy idea that they were going to catch one and eat it but they had another thing coming if they thought I was going to let them slaughter a rabbit in my presence. It turned out that there was no need to worry. The rabbits were deceptively fast, and the few times we did manage to catch one, it would escape before we even got a chance to get a good look at it.

Pony and Johnny ran around like banshees after those rabbits, while mostly I laughed and watched them, secretly rooting for the rabbits. My thoughts wandered to home, to Darry and Soda and Ben and Anna, and to how they didn't even know that I was with Pony and Johnny. Any anger I had felt towards Darry had long since faded, and my newfound closeness with Pony only made me miss Soda and Darry even more. At some point, while I sat there, I reached a decision. I was going home. I knew Pony and Johnny wouldn't ever agree to go until Dallas told them it was safe, but I had to. At least then Soda and Darry wouldn't have to be worrying about me too.

We had fun that night, sitting around the woodstove playing poker and reading Gone With the Wind, the book Johnny had picked up at the store. Pony and I took turns reading the chapters out loud. Johnny didn't want to read; he just listened. It's not that he couldn't read well enough, I knew he could; he just felt self-conscious doing it out loud, even just in front of me and Pony. I didn't know much about the Civil War, so Pony had to explain a lot of stuff to me. He knows a lot about history, because he reads everything he can get his hands on. Johnny seemed to really like the book and he asked a lot of questions, too.

After the sun set, we stood outside: Johnny and Pony smoking and me just looking up at the stars. I knew I was leaving- that the next night I would be home in Tulsa, listening to trains whistle and wondering if they were the same ones that would pass by the church where Pony and Johnny slept.

"Hey Pony, you ever show Johnny that thing about the stars?"

"No," he said. I wondered for a second if he would be mad that I brought it up, if it was just a family thing. Then I remembered that Johnny pretty much was family, to Pony anyway.

"What's that?" Johnny asked.

"Come here," I called. He came over. "Now sit," I said.

I did just what Pony had done with me, had him close his eyes, lay down, and then open them

"Glory!" Johnny's reaction was just as my own had been. "The stars sure don't look like that in Tulsa!" I was thinking, maybe it was the perspective. I would have to try lying down in Tulsa and looking up and see if that was what made the difference. I doubted it. Pony came and lay on the other side of me and we all just lay there and looked up. If Darry or Soda had been there they would have gone stir-crazy. Neither of them would have been able to lay still that long, unless they were asleep.

Pony spoke up, finally. "You know, Scout, as mad as I was at you for following us, I'm kind of glad you're here."

I felt a little bad about my plans to leave but I knew how he felt. I was glad I had this time with him.

"I'm glad to be here too. Sorry you had to listen to our big fight, Johnny."

"That's alright. That was nothing like my folks fightin'. 'Sides if you weren't here me and Pony woulda got pretty sick of each other by now."

He had a point. Pony and I hadn't actually come to blows.

"Actually, Pone, I think we needed that. Neither of us knew what was going on with each other. I guess it took us getting angry to make us be honest. I wouldn't have ever told you all that stuff if you hadn't set me off."

"Well I'm glad you did tell me," he said. He was lost in the stars. I reached over and hugged him, and within seconds I was fighting him off from tickling me.

Eventually we were all too tired from laughing to do anything but go to bed. We lay down on the floor by the woodstove and retreated back into our own thoughts. I hoped everything would work out for them soon, but I knew I had to go home.

"Good night guys," I said.

"'Night Scout."

A/N: Let me know what you think!