I woke up feeling sore all over again. Hazy memories of what had happened slowly worked their way into my mind. I woke up to see Darry sitting in the chair on the other side of the room.

"Darry?" I said. He jumped up.

I noticed he had a big bruise on his cheek. The rumble, I remembered.

"What does the other guy look like?" I asked.

Darry looked like he wanted to smile but something was off. He looked both sad and exhausted.

"Why are you way over there?" I asked.

He studied me, evaluating my ability to deal with his answer. "Your brother's in this bed," he motioned. I looked over and saw a motionless form on the other bed. I sat up.

"Which brother?" I asked.

"Pony."

"Is he OK? What happened to him?" I remembered now, seeing him the night before. "He said Johnny died?"

Darry came over to my bed and sat down. "He did, Scout. He died." I looked up at him, tears forming. He took my hand.

"I'm sorry Scout. He was just too hurt. He couldn't fight it. He died last night."

I couldn't believe it. Johnny, who just a few days ago had lay in the field with me and Pony and looked up at the stars. Gone. And just yesterday I had told my coach things were starting to feel normal again. Nothing was normal now.

"What's wrong with Pony? I just saw him last night, when he told me about Johnny. He looked sick."

"He was sick. According to Two-Bit, he was already sick before last night. Then he got himself kicked in the head pretty good at the rumble. Mostly he's exhausted. He hasn't slept since he got back and you were missing. The doctors say he just needs rest."

I remembered about how angry I had been.

"Why didn't anybody tell me, Darry? About the rumble? Somebody should have told me! I thought you said you were going to stop treating me like a little kid!"

"I told you, we didn't want to worry you. You were already in the hospital, we didn't want to make you worse. How'd you find out, anyway?"

"Dally was here. He told me." Darry's face drained and he looked sick.

"What, Dar?"

He looked at me, weighing my ability to handle another hard truth. "Scout, Dallas…"

"What? Is he in jail again?" I remembered the scene he had been making in the hall.

"No, Scout… he died too. He got shot." I guess after I had been just lecturing him about being truthful with me he figured he'd better just say it.

I was shocked. I felt like Darry had just slapped me. Johnny I could understand having died. Johnny was vulnerable, inherently susceptible to harm. But Dallas? I had always seen Dallas as invincible, almost super-hero-like. I had trouble imagining a bullet powerful enough to penetrate his steel exterior. Now I let the tears fall.

"What??? How? By who? He was here, with Pony, last night!"

"I know. He lost it, Scout, after Johnny… He knocked off a store and the cops chased him into the park. He pulled a gun on them, and they took him down. He wanted them to, baby. Losing Johnny was just too much for him to take. He wanted them to shoot him."

I could believe that. For some reason, Dally had loved Johnny like a brother. If he could have died to save Johnny, he would have. But he couldn't, so he got himself killed. In the end, Dallas Winston always got what he wanted.

"We tried to stop it. We did. But we didn't get there in time. That's when Pony collapsed."

I couldn't speak. I couldn't think of what to say. I could not imagine that so soon after losing my parents I would be feeling the loss of another two people I considered family. And poor Ponyboy, he had to see them both die, from how it sounded. I felt the hot tears streaming down my face, and could really do nothing to stop them.

Darry leaned in to hug me. "I know, baby. It's not fair."

"It isn't." I felt so robbed. Why did people I loved keep getting taken away from me? "When is this bad stuff going to stop, Darry? I just want everything to be OK. And every time I think it will be, something else bad happens. I can't take it any more."

"I know. It's hard on all of us. We just have to keep on going. It's all we can do, really."

I just sat there with my head on Darry's chest and him rubbing my back for a long time. In a way it felt like he needed to be holding on to me as much as I needed him.

Pony started mumbling something in the next bed and Darry and I both turned. He called Darry's name and Darry got up and went over to his bed.

"I'm right here, Pone."

"Darry? Mom? Where is everybody? Daddy?"

I looked at Darry, puzzled.

"He's been hallucinating," Darry said. "Sometimes he thinks Mom and Dad are here, or that he's still at the church with you and Johnny."

"Oh." That didn't sound good. Please, I begged, let Pony be OK.

A nurse appeared at the door, presumably coming to see what Pony's yelling was all about. She noticed me awake.

"I see our little escapee is awake… How're you feelin' Miss Scout?"

I felt a little sheepish, remembering how I had ripped out all my tubes and fought off the nurses. I vaguely remembered even trying to bite one.

"Yeah… sorry about that," I said. "I guess I was pretty worried about my brother,"

"And with good reason, it turns out," she said, motioning to the other bed. She went over to check on his IV, while he mumbled something about Algebra class and cole slaw.

Suddenly I realized there was a brother missing and I turned to Darry. "Where's Soda?" I asked. "Is he OK?"

"I sent him home with Steve. He's a mess. He needs sleep, and he wasn't getting any here. I don't think he's slept more than an hour a night since you and Pony went missing, then Sandy, and now Johnny and Dallas…"

"What happened to Sandy?" I asked.

"Nobody told you? She left, while you and Pony were gone. Went to live in Florida with her grandmother. One night they were out on a date, and everything was fine, and the next day she was gone. She just left Soda a letter. He was crushed."

"That's what I have been trying to tell you, nobody tells me anything!" I thought about how I had mentioned her name and he had ignored it. "I am always the last to know!"

"Another thing we can work on," Darry said.

I turned to the nurse, who had finished with Pony.

"I feel pretty good now. How much longer do I have to stay in here?"

"Well, we were hoping to have you walking on that leg tomorrow but since you took that into your own hands last night, we're going to have somebody come in this afternoon and see how you do with walking. You do OK and you might be out of here by tomorrow. Your infection's all cleared up."

I was so glad to hear that. It felt like a million years since I had been home.