Reid POV:
It was Saturday which meant that we could get something else for breakfast than oatmeal. Normally I liked oatmeal, at least oatmeal cookies, but the oatmeal in prison didn't taste that well. For breakfast I chose an orange and some pancakes. While I was walking down to my seat, I saw the nurse, Sophie, through the window. I felt butterflies in my stomach, but they did also hurt a little bit. I guessed it was because I felt so awkward when I was at her hospital room.
"Do you like the nurse?" asked one of the prisoners.
"No." I said and sat down.
"Shall I put you to the nurse?" he asked.
"No thank you."
I started to peel the orange. It was more difficult to peel an orange, than it used to be, because I had to cut my nails in here. The guards see nails like a weapon - like I could cut someone with my nails. They hadn't ever been super sharp, so it was quite annoying.
"He is one of those pretty boys who starts to cry at nothing." said the inmate who talked to me before to another inmate.
"Yeah, can you remember the last one? They had to remove his brain from the bathroom, because someone had smashed his head into the floor." said the other inmate.
"There was blood everywhere... and body parts."
I didn't listen anymore, and after their conversation I couldn't eat anymore, so I walked up to the guard, who were standing next to the door, and asked if I could come back to my cell.
"Are you scared of the prison, kid?" the guard asked while we were walking back to my cell.
"No." I lied.
I didn't want to look like I was a baby.
"I can protect you from ending like the last one of your type." he said.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well.. All you have to do is.. doing the thing." he said.
I had no clue on what he was talking about.
"What do you mean?" I asked again and felt a bit stupid.
"Have sex. With me." he said and looked at me.
If it had been a movie, he would have laughed of my shocked face.
"So.. Are you going to do it?" he asked and pulled me against the wall with his hand on my upper bottom in my orange suit.
"No. No!" I said and walked fast down the hallway.
He didn't followed me and luckily for me, my cell door was open. The first thing I did when I locked the door, was puke in the toilet. Afterwards I brushed my teeth while I was thinking on how it would destroy my enamel. After I brushed my teeth I found the book I was reading under my madras. I thought I could read it one more time today, but when I opened the book, I saw something written on first page: "I hope you'll change your mind.".
"Because if you don't you will end up like the last kid." the guard said from outside the prison bars. I hadn't seen him standing there before now.
"I can take care of myself." I said.
I had only got beaten up twice, and I had been there for almost a month, so I thought I'll might survive it.
"Well.. It's my fault you're still alive. Every inmate listens to me, and when I said they couldn't kill you or rape you or beat you up more than two times, they didn't. You know why? Because I'm the boss here, and everyone has to follow my orders - is that clear?"
He sounded like a bad guy, someone who had to be an inmate, not looking for inmates.
"Have you changed your mind?" he asked.
"No." I said.
I didn't want him to have that power over me.
"It's your decision. You just have to know; when you don't choose me, you choose them. And now I won't come and help you, and I can't protect you from anything anymore." he said.
"You could." I said and looked down the floor.
I knew he had won the game, but I didn't want to give up. I would fight for my life, though I knew I was probably going to lose everything.
"But I won't."
He left me in silence. I started thinking on how I could survive by my own, when I remembered something my mother used to say: "Faith can move mountains."
So I had to believe I could do it, to do it.