Chapter 5: AkaKuro - Parenting Problems: Part 2

Just another piece of mindless fluff again :)

When Kuroko Tetsuna had at long last agreed to marry Akashi Seijūrō, the red-head was belated beyond all reason. In that moment of pure, unrestrained happiness, he had abandoned all care for the image he was supposed to uphold as an Akashi heir, and kissed his long-time lover in the busy arrival hall of Narita International Airport.

No public display of affection be damned. Tetsuna would soon bear his last name. She would be his and his alone.

Yet, it had turned out less idyllic than he'd hoped, because along with the approaching marriage came a cousin – the bridesmaid – with a chest so large it practically generated its own sound effects.

Akashi didn't harbour any personal resentment towards Momoi Satsuki. She was a bubbly, outgoing, hopeless romantic whose company Tetsuna genuinely enjoyed. But, the overly-endowed woman was just so attached to his fiancé that it simply left him unsatisfied over the amount of alone-time he had with Tetsuna, even after the wedding had came and went.

Despite that, after 10 months of marriage, Akashi's kinder side was ready – glad even – to accept Momoi as a companion to his wife in her delicate condition; particularly during those long business trips he was obliged to attend. His less forgiving side, however, felt like he had married one woman, and adopted another.

"Kyaa! Tetsu-kun, look at this one. It says 'I just spent 9 months in the BATCAVE', isn't it adorable? And it comes in PINK!"

"Momoi-san, we have enough pink clothing…"

"Ehh? No way. A girl could never have too much pink in her wardrobe, especially if it's a baby wardrobe! Wah~~ Look at this one! And this one! And this one too!~~"

'Maybe we shouldn't have let Momoi-san come with us.' Tetsuna thought as she strained to keep up with all the onesies, dresses, and bibs her cousin was currently snatching off the shelves. Momoi was so excessive in her enthusiasm. Tetsuna likened it to an overdose of red-bull.

Tetsuna looked to her husband for help, and sure enough, there he was, walking towards her rescue with such overpowering dignity it confused the toddlers in the baby store. A wailing boy even quieted down as he passed by.

'Seijūrō-kun will have to somehow dial down that intimidation around our baby. Somehow…' Tetsuna wondered if it was even possible. 'Umm… somehow…'

"Satsuki, I believe that is enough," Akashi said as he leisurely stroked Tetsuna's back, hoping to soothe some of her weariness.

"What? That's nowhere near enough! Don't be such a cheapskate with your first child!"

"Momoi-san, Seijūrō-kun has been very generous in providing for our baby. We have all that is necessary. I just wanted some bits and pieces to bring to the ward," Tetsuna spoke first, fearing that if she hadn't, her husband would've coloured the whole store purple with his aura.

"Boo…" Momoi pouted. "Could we at least get the Batcave onesie? Please?..."

"Satsuki, Tetsuna's 8 months pregnant. She's tired."

"But it says 9 months… in the… Batcave… Batcave…" Tears were welling up in her eyes.

With the most unimpressed look on his face, Akashi relented. "Fine, bring it to the cashier."

"Yay!~" Momoi, now brimming with joy again, rushed to the front of the store, leaving the couple to catch up at their own pace.

"Thank you Seijūrō-kun." Tetsuna knew just how much Akashi liked having things his way.

"Don't. I'm shredding that onesie as soon as we're home."

*4 Weeks Later*

"I fucking hate headcheese! It's not even fucking cheese! And it's made from jellied pig's head! Who the fuck makes jellied pig's head and names it head-fucking-cheese!" Tetsuna continued to rant on and on about the unfortunately-named dish as she threw her head back into the pillow in extreme pain.

'Headcheese? I don't believe she's ever consumed such a thing.' Tetsuna held Akashi's hand in a death grip.

Lines creased Akashi's forehead. As capable as he was, he could not will the contractions his wife was suffering to cease. Now, it seemed like Tetsuna was delirious. The unfamiliar feeling of helplessness overtook him and he looked to the nurse for some clarity.

"Don't worry. It's a mixture of the contractions and the pain medication we just gave her. It's normal." The nurse, Aida Riko, spoke casually as she looked up from her clipboard. From the way she dutifully jotted down notes, it would seem like vehemently cursing European precooked meat was a completely mundane and everyday occurrence at the maternity ward.

"She has to take everything off and put on this robe." Aida handed a green-coloured gown to Akashi and proceeded to open the door to leave.

"Wait, my wife expressed her wish to leave her undergarments on before. Her breasts are too swollen and uncomfortable without support and she wanted to wear an absorbent pad to keep from feeling drenched." It was a wonder how Akashi articulated each word without the tiniest hint of embarrassment.

"She still has to take them off, and get her into that gown by the time the doctor arrives." Even though Akashi accepted her reasoning, Momoi Satsuki, who had been standing in the hallway, apparently did not.

"Hey! Have some sympathy for Tetsu-kun! She's in a lot of pain you know."

'Of course she knows. Tetsuna's in labour.' Akashi thought, but was too tired and too concerned about his wife to intervene. Tetsuna was still mouthing off exotic delicacies.

"You just don't understand our pain, you… you barely-B-cup!"

'That was what she took offense to?'

But, Momoi had hit a nerve.

Nurse Aida turned, slammed the door, walked right up to Akashi's face, and said, "You didn't put your wife in this situation without taking them off. Now get them off!"

*2 Hours Later*

"You're doing brilliant Mrs Akashi. Keep pushing." The doctor repeated for the nth time that hour.

"You're so brave love, just a bit more okay?" Akashi continued to whisper sweet nothings into Tetsuna's ear as he caressed her temple.

"Mr Akashi, Chairman Akashi has just arrived and he's asking for you," said a nursing assistant as soon as she walked through the double doors.

"Inform him that I am busy." Unacceptable. Did anyone really expect him to leave his wife who was in labour?

"No… go… he's your father…" Tetsuna said in a deathly quiet voice between deep breaths.

"And you're my wife. I'm staying."

"Mr Akashi, the chairman?" The assistant was clearly afraid to return to Chairman Akashi without his son in tow.

"Go… and hurry back…" Tetsuna managed a small smile through all the pain. It weakened Akashi.

"Mrs Akashi's right Mr Akashi, take a breather and give an update to the Chairman. Your wife and child are in safe hands." The doctor reassured Akashi.

Akashi reluctantly left.

When he came back exactly 4.5 minutes later, his wife was no longer conscious, and the child had already been born.

Akashi Seijūrō… The absolute AKASHI SEIJŪRŌ had MISSED the BIRTH of his FIRST CHILD.

"Fuck this! We're starting over! Put that baby back!"

*10 Hours Later*

Hours later, when Akashi Tetsuna woke up with a start, she immediately reached for Akashi Seijūrō. She knew intuitively that he would be there watching over her.

Tetsuna pleaded, "Where's my baby? Where's our daughter? Is she okay?"

"Shh… shh… It's alright love. Our child's flawless and perfectly healthy. You did well love." Akashi patted Tetsuna's head lovingly.

"Where is she? I want to see her." The urgency was clear in her voice.

"The baby's right here." Akashi got up and went to the cot. "But Tetsuna, ready yourself for a surprise."

"Oh no! What's wrong?" Tetsuna said as she held her child for the first time.

Her husband was right. She really did need to ready herself for a surprise, for it came all over her in a stream of urine.

Bewildered, Tetsuna looked down.

"Oh my god there's a penis!"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how Akashi Seiichi came into the world.

Part 3 will be posted when I have the motivation to write :( I don't have any ideas at the moment.