Chapter 6: AkaKuro - Parenting Problems: Part 3

Err… I don't really know what was going through my head when I wrote this. Oh well…

No disrespect to Hyugga, he's awesome with his 'crotch-time', but I wanted to make Akashi's kid the captain.

Akashi Seiichi readjusted his muffler as he neared the gate to his home. He and his friends, Izuki Shun and Kiyoshi Teppei, had walked there from school in the frigid February air. His sigh turned to vapour as he dusted the snow from his stubborn, spiky red hair in frustration.

The practice game had been especially tiring that day, what with it being Valentine's Day. Those who were attached wanted to show off to their belles and those who were single wanted to vent their resentment. Needless to say, the Seirin High School basketball team did more than just double their opponent's score that day.

To top it all off, his parents had left for Hokkaido that same morning, leaving him in charge of the younger Akashi children, Meiko and Mikado. It was going to be a long two weeks, for as much as he adored his middle school twin siblings, they did sometimes enjoy watching him fluster a little too much.

"I still can't get over how huge your house is Sei-chan." Izuki Shun, Seirin basketball team's point guard, said in amazement.

"Uhh… thanks, I guess? Let's go in." To the surprise of Izuki and Kiyoshi, Seiichi rang the intercom.

"Forgot your keys?" Kiyoshi, the tall centre of the Seirin basketball team, asked.

"Ehh… no. Meiko took my keys today," Seiichi said with a rueful laugh. Izuki raised a brow, amused by how easily his friend sometimes caved in to his siblings.

As a basketball player, Seiichi was a monster, all 171 cm of him, and none questioned his leadership. His on-court charisma and fire-engine red hair had even gained him quite the following. However, off-court, Seiichi was really just an average lad who suffered from being inadvertently cooler than he actually was. Many a girl had been disillusioned upon meeting the meek, unassuming boy they had originally thought to be the tenacious captain and commander of the Seirin basketball team, and many crushes had ended similarly too.

One could say that Akashi Seiichi had more presence than he knew how to deal with.

"Hahaha, I see Meiko's still as powerful as ever," laughed Kiyoshi as he cordially slapped Seiichi's back, making the shorter boy noticeably wince from the impact.

"Right, you guys haven't seen them since we were in-".

"Sei-nii~ Welcome back." Meiko suddenly welcomed the trio in a cheerful tone.

"Welcome, home nii-sama," Mikado was right behind her.

"Hey Mikado, you look like you've grown. How tall are you this year?" asked Kiyoshi.

"I'm 168cm."

"Oh… He's catching up to you Sei-chan," Izuki snickered.

Meiko and Mikado were both taller than Seiichi had been at their age. In fact, their height, red hair, and mutual fear of all things spicy seemed to be one of the few things they shared for they were quite different in all other aspects. If Meiko was an optimist, Mikado should only be described as a pessimist. If Meiko loved all things miniature and cute, Mikado could only tolerate them. If Meiko adored cats, Mikado would simply run at the sound of a meow.

"Shut up," Seiichi decided to end the small talk. "Would you please open the gate before the three of us freeze? Or die of old age for that matter?"

"Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling." Leave it to Izuki to make them drop a sweat in winter.

"Huh, okay… anyways, Meiko, the gate please?"

"I can't open it," Meiko said, smiling.

"What?! Why?"

"Because you haven't given us the password," Mikado answered.

"Password?! Quit it you two, open the gate now."

"How about a hint?" Kiyoshi asked.

"Why are you getting dragged into their pace?!" Seiichi exclaimed.

"Haha… Calm down Sei-chan, let's just play along," Izuki said.

"You too?!"

"Arara… You're cranky today Sei-nii, did you get rejected by a girl again?" Meiko teased.

"Ehh? No I didn't!"

"Well, it wasn't so much a rejection right? She just took back her confession and ran away," Izuki revealed much to Seiichi's chagrin.

"Hahaha… Again? You have no luck with girls Seii-nii," Meiko sniggered.

"Ironic, seeing as you spent the first 9 months of your existence being mistaken for a girl," Mikado said.

"What?! Really? They couldn't find your baby-maker for 9 months?" Izuki chortled and Kiyoshi looked worried.

"Is there's a problem with your magic wand Sei-chan?" Kiyoshi asked, concerned.

"What?!"

"You know, is everything alright with your bean tosser?" Izuki was half snickering.

"Your bald-headed butler," Meiko offered.

"Bearded blood sausage," Mikado joined in.

"Oi! Stop naming my bits!"

"Steaming hot Kanga," Izuki had another go.

"What the hell is that supposed to be!?" Seiichi slapped Izuki across the head, but the game had already begun.

"Ah… Vomiting cobra!" Kiyoshi said in a flash of inspiration.

"Trouser anaconda," Mikado said.

"Throbbing python of love!" Meiko sounded far too excited.

"My equipment is not a damn reptile!" Seiichi shouted. "And why are we doing this?! Let us in already."

"There's nothing wrong with just a bit of fun right, Sei-chan?" Kiyoshi said genially.

"Yeah, after all, it is Valentine's Day; the day that the "V" and "D" come together," Izuki laughed.

"A day where the eel meets the eel skinner," Meiko smirked.

"Like hell it is, idiot!" Seiichi gave Izuki another slap across the head. "And Meiko, why are you joining in?!" To which Meiko just smiled in reply. Seiichi sighed, asking himself if a time would come when he'd finally understand women.

"When the gardener waters the cabbage patch," Mikado said with a straight face.

"Ehh? You're continuing?!" Seiichi was exasperated with his siblings.

"When the foreman dives into the manhole!" Izuki was still going.

"What the hell have you been reading?!"

"When the third leg walks into a dead-end street."

"Is something wrong with your head?!" Seiichi turned to Kiyoshi.

"When the life preserver stands before the gate of heaven!" Meiko giggled out .

"Would you please just open this gate here?! Whatever happened to the password for Pete's sake" Seiichi felt like he was about to have colour failure.

"Aww… come on Sei-nii, join in the fun," Mikado dared.

"Yeah, there's nothing wrong with not having visited the South Pole yet." Izuki patted Seiichi's back.

"Or Lapland." Meiko added.

"Or Mount Pleasant." Mikado said.

"Cape Horn." Kiyoshi offered.

"You're just naming geographical locations you idiots! Argh… I give up!" Seiichi placed a palm on his face. "Meiko, Mikado, open this gate right now before I smother every single dish with wasabi for the next two weeks!"

At this threat, Mikado and Meiko immediately unlocked the gate. It would've been unwise to rattle their big brother any more. He was, after all, the only Akashi child who could cook. The most the twins ever did in the kitchen was boil water, and even then, the whole house would've burnt down multiple times over if Seiichi hadn't been there every single time to do damage control.

As Seiichi, Izuki, and Kiyoshi entered the house, Kiyoshi asked, "Sei-chan, what's the password?"

"The hell if I know. It's probably something random and stupid."

"Oh, that," Mikado smiled knowingly. "It's 'Sei-nii's baby pictures'"

"In PINK!" Meiko chirped.

"WHAT! THE! HELL!"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the day Izuki and Kiyoshi saw their baby captain in a pink fluffy dress.

That's all for the Akashi x FEM!Kuroko family fluff. Although I'm pretty sure this chapter deviated somewhat into crack territory. Do you guys want a series for the rest of the GoM?