Glancing as the last couple of stragglers stroll into the board room, I swing my legs back and forth as I patiently wait for them to start this top-secret meeting. I wonder what this is all about… maybe they're going to give me some super cool spy gear, with an invisibility suit and night vision goggles and everything! Ooh, maybe I'm going to become some kind of secret agent – they can call me 00Clem! How freaking cool would that be?!
But let's be real here, it's probably just going to be boring grown-up stuff. Man, I just burst my own bubble within a span of about five seconds. I'm such a party pooper sometimes, I swear…
The insect on the screen disappeared almost as quickly as it showed up, and James seems as though he's kind of irritated about it – mostly towards Bo, by the looks of it. What, is he afraid of bugs or something? I think fireflies are pretty cool actually. I remember always getting confused about how they could get their tiny butts to glow in the dark like that, and my parents never really had a solid answer to give me. Those were the good old days: sitting out back in the summer nights to watch them fly around.
I wish that I could do that more often.
"Now, if there are no more distractions," James comments, looking pointedly at Bo as Debbie takes a seat beside me, "then we'll get started. Today we're welcoming a new member into our fold. For those who haven't met her yet, this is Clementine."
A few shocked glances are thrown my way, probably puzzled as to why they let a kid into a place like this in the first place, but their curiosity is forgotten when the doctor continues on to explain what it is that they're doing in here.
"I'll try being as brief as possible so that I'm not wasting all of your time," he says, placing his hands in his pockets as a bunch of eyes turn towards me. "We're a secret department here at the space center, and we've been working on a huge project for the past two years without arousing any suspicion. We've been pretty lucky on that front, that's for certain. And – "
"For crying out loud, James! We could be doing something productive right now instead of listening to you talk to this girl!" a crabby man complains, causing James to sigh as he pushes the rim of his glasses back up onto his nose like a librarian.
"Alright, alright. Go, but just remember – canister 319 is low. We need to conserve as much as we can," he instructs, and I watch as the entire room minus Debbie, Bo, James and I stand up to leave through another doorway. I see some of them put on hazard suits before the door shuts behind them completely.
"What the heck was all that about?" I ask, causing Bo to chuckle slightly as Debbie shakes her head in amusement.
"I'll get to that in a minute," James tells me before bringing up a different screen on the monitor. "As I was saying, this project has been in development for two years now. Some real progress has been made, but there's no telling where our findings are going to go next. We've taken to calling it Project Rebirth."
When I look at him as if he's lost his marbles, James looks over hopefully at his girlfriend as she rolls her eyes.
"You can be too scientific for your own good sometimes, you know that?" she tells him playfully. "After the dead started coming back to life, we all locked ourselves into the station and practically barricaded the doors to prevent things from getting in. It was chaos out there – Houston had fallen within the first few days of the outbreak, and anyone that was left out in the city was either dead or soon to be wishing they were. We couldn't believe all the stuff that was going on, and we wanted to do something about it. Our team had a bunch of scientists, doctors and engineers, and we thought that maybe with enough time we could possibly figure out what went wrong."
"They brought in a dead walker from outside to look over its organs and stuff. Turns out this thing's a disease that kills living brain cells and replaces them with dead, savage ones. Think of it as like a fungus that forms on your brain," Bo continues, tapping his head as I think about how creepy that sounds.
"I didn't realize it was so… so…"
"Technical?"
"Yeah, that's it," I nod towards Debbie, just trying to wrap my head around all of this. "So… if this disease is in us right now, then why do we not just turn into walkers straight away? Didn't you say it's in our heads?"
"Yes, but it needs a trigger in order for the potent stuff to be released. When people… die… the infection rapidly grows and takes control. Your body is the host for the infection, and since there's nothing left in your body to fight back when you're dead, it's much easier for the infection to step in," James elaborates, kind of confusing me in some ways with all of this sciency stuff, but I think that I'm getting the basics down at least.
Flipping to the next screen, I scrunch up my face and gag as a disgusting image pops up.
"Eww! What is that thing?!"
"It's the brain of the first walker they brought in here…" Bo remarks, looking slightly disturbed himself as he shudders. "Key word being the first walker. Doesn't at all mean that they've stopped there…"
"That's enough, Bo," James warns, shooting him a look that's basically telling him to drop it. "We don't need this – not right now."
"What are you guys talking about?" I question, feeling slightly left in the dark as Debbie and James turn to each other. When the stern lady shakes her head, James stays silent before going on to talk about the image up on the screen
I can tell that they're hiding something from me… but what would they still be keeping secrets for? What do they not want me to find out?
You see, this is what I hate the most about being a kid. It happened when I first got to the cabin, it happened with Lee, and it's happening right now. If the group had just told me about Carver in the first place, then maybe they would've trusted me more and I would've been more prepared and on the lookout if we happened to come across him – which he did anyways, but still. If Lee had told me right from the start that my parents were gone, as cold and heartbreaking as it may have been, maybe I wouldn't have run off like I had in a desperate attempt to find them, and he might still be here with me now.
These guys are holding back something important from me, and I'll be damned if I don't find out exactly what it is that's going on.
James further describes what's going on with the picture – all the black, yucky stuff are dead brain cells apparently, and then the brownish-red ones are the infection spreading and taking control of the body. It's pretty scary the more that I think about it; having something like that waiting inside of me, just waiting for the right time to take over. It makes me feel kind of dirty inside, almost like there's an itch inside of me that I can't scratch.
The weird part is, other than being a lot more malnourished than I was before the apocalypse, I don't really feel that different, physically at least. Mentally I've completely changed, but I can't feel this infection in the same way that you might feel after getting the flu. And this thing has been sitting inside me – in all of us – for at least two years now?! Ugh… I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about it.
"As you can see," James points out, flipping to the next slide as we all can see the same walker lying flat on the floor, "the dead only stop moving around after they've been struck in the head. Once an impact – a bullet, a sharp object, or whatever – ruptures the brain, the infection is cut off from the host and remains dormant. What you get left over is just a shell"
"Sleeping?" I finish, getting a nod from Debbie as she turns towards me. "Wait… so the disease thingy doesn't actually get destroyed?"
"No, it doesn't," she answers, probably surprised that I'm picking up on this stuff at such a young age. I've been around walkers long enough to know how to deal with them – this is just the science behind it. "The infection is a virus, meaning that's it's pretty resistant to a lot of things. You can't just beat a virus out of your system with a baseball bat, which is why we're trying to do our part down here."
"You don't mean…" I cut myself off, severe doubt swirling in my mind as James and Debbie hopefully look towards each other before turning the projector off. Bo doesn't really show any emotion as he quietly sits in his chair.
"We've been trying to come up with a cure for two years now – that's what they're working on inside right now. We're trying to isolate the virus, test on it and see what works. Trial and error, as they say," James informs me, sitting up on a desk with his legs dangling overtop of it. His expression goes a little bit solemn though, as he gazes down at his lap with a small frown. "This whole mess may have been cleared up already… if I hadn't…"
"James, stop it. Don't do that to yourself!" Debbie forcefully tells him as she stands up and sits next to him, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Who knows? We may have just been at the same progress we're at now, even if we did have the toxin with us."
Noticing my curious expression, James heavily sighs before rubbing his eyes together.
"Two years ago, I came into possession of a chemical package that was given to us by the CDC – a nerve toxin that affected the brain. There weren't any known beneficial uses for it at the time, so I didn't think anything of it," he grimaces; regret playing upon his lips as he shakes his head. "As it turns out, that toxin could've been a key ingredient into discovering more about the chemical properties of the infection. It wouldn't outright cure it, but it'd bring us a hell of a lot closer to doing so. I left the package on the spaceship."
"Well, what's the problem? Can't we just go get it?" I ask, confused since the ship is still immobile in the hangar bay.
"No that spaceship, I'm afraid…"
Widening my eyes, I look as Bo makes a whooshing sound and raises his finger high above his head. I literally don't think there's a worse place that you could send this thing to the damn International Space Station. Outer space is kinda, you know, far. And by the looks of things, nobody down here is willing or able to go and retrieve the package, especially if they're just assuming that it might help. It'd be better for them to be absolutely certain, and I don't think that people can be that way anymore. There's just too much going wrong these days.
But what if they come down here?
"Couldn't they just come back down to Earth with it? You said that you guys made contact, right?" I say, remembering the bubbling excitement there was when they were gathered around the computer screen.
When their faces grow even grimmer, my confusion only increases.
"Did… something happen?"
"Without the help of people on the ground, there's no way that they'd be able to travel back safely. And… apparently they had an incident on board. One of the guys got his throat cut open when he was messing around with a tool, and he'd lost far too much blood for anyone to save him," James tells me. "The crazy thing though? He didn't turn – they didn't have to do a damn thing, except toss his body out into space. Sitting with a dead body on board for two years is never a good thing, but that's beside the point. Those astronauts aren't infected – none of them. They may be the only humans still living that actually aren't."
"Because they left before everything started," I conclude, getting a round of nods from the three of them. Once realization hits me like a wall of bricks, I tiredly rub my head in utter disbelief.
"How ironic is it that there actually are some healthy people left, but they can't do a thing about it?" Bo chuckles mirthlessly, probably having gone over this scenario a hundred times at least. Within the span of fifteen minutes, my head's probably spun around a few dozen times by now.
Ironic indeed. Stupidly, soul-crushingly, frustratingly so, as I wonder how fate could possibly get any crueler than this.
It just makes thinking about this "cure" of theirs seem even more foolish, and I'm pretty sure this feeling shows on my face. James doesn't seem fazed, though.
"This thing is bigger than any of us," he says suddenly, a look of determination inside of him that I find hard to agree with. "A cure would save millions, if that's how many are left, anyways. What we're doing here, Clementine, it could very well give humanity another shot; another chance to do things right and not make the same mistakes again. Society could be returned to normal, and people won't have to be afraid anymore!"
"…no, it won't."
Debbie seems angry, James seems disappointed, and Bo looks like he doesn't really know what to say. He out of any of these guys would understand, but he likely doesn't want to say anything in front of the people he's known for so long.
I know that they took me in when they could've easily shooed me away, but somebody's got to get this through their heads.
"We're too far gone," I continue, not feeling the slightest bit of guilt for my answer. "Why would you be wasting your time working on a cure when you could be helping to barricade this place, or scavenging for food or something? People are assholes out there! We all are – we cheat, steal and kill each other just to live! If there was a cure somebody would've found it by now, and people aren't going to change just because of that!"
"I think it's time for you to leave," Debbie says lowly, but I'm not finished yet. Not by a long shot.
"I saw my parents as walkers! They would've eaten me if I hadn't left them! I didn't even get to say goodbye!" I yell, my voice becoming hoarser as James disappears into the room and starts putting on a hazard suit. "Everyone I've ever cared about is GONE! You can't just un-see all of that! Things are never going to go back to the way they used to be, so stop lying to yourselves and wake up!"
"Get out, right now," Debbie finishes, standing up and glaring at me something fierce. "If you can't see the good that we're doing by trying to save people out here, then you're not welcome to stay with us. Bo, take her outside."
"You don't have the authority – "
"NOW, BO!" she roars, startling me for a second as once again my world comes tumbling down. Thankfully I don't really have any friends here, so that part won't be a big deal. But heading back out on my own in the city is definitely not something I want to do. "If she's too selfish to see the greater good, then she's no better than the fucking bandits! Make her leave, or the council will decide what to do with you as well!"
"…you're fucking unbelievable, Deb," Bo spits, turning on his heel as he stomps out and slams the door behind him. Reluctantly I start to follow him out, but not before I hear Debbie whisper one last thing to me.
"We gave you all of this help, and this is how you repay us?"
My grip on the door handle intensifies and my entire body starts to tense up. I can't believe the nerve of this lady! Just because I don't agree with what they're saying doesn't mean that I'm being ungrateful!
Coldly staring back at her, I lower my eyes and fiercely glare at Debbie.
"I hope you people know how to use guns," I tell her, trying to make it seem like a threat as she widens her eyes in anger.
"Why you little – "
"We'll see how much your cure protects you when another group of bandits come breaking down your door."
Without another word, I too leave the board room and head back into the space hangar where Bo's sitting with his head in his hands. I don't plan on staying here for very long, probably less than a day if I can help it.
But there's something that I need to find out first.
…
"Clem, you know I can't do that…"
"I have to find out, Bo. They're hiding something, I just know it."
"You don't know what you know!" Bo exclaims, already frustrated with Debbie enough as it is. "Look, if you keep digging around in here, I can't guarantee that you'll like what you find. And if Debbie catches you snooping around, then you'll be out on your ass for sure!"
"I thought that I already was," I respond bitterly, folding my arms across my chest.
"That's not her call to make – Debbie was way out of line," Bo shakes his head. "No, we need you around here, Clementine. I can't protect this place all by myself anymore – I've seen what can happen when people don't know how to defend themselves. Whether they like it or not doesn't matter, but we need you just as much as you need us."
"I can take care of myself."
"Yeah, but for how long?" he asks, running a hand through his hair as he sighs. "Being in a shelter is a hell of a lot safer than out in the open by yourself. They might be a bunch of hippies who wouldn't draw a gun if a walker was standing right in front of them, but they're smart and they've got medical supplies. You don't want to get kicked out just to look at things that you won't want to see…"
Okay, now my curiosity is peaked as high as it can go. If the way that he trailed off just now is any indication, then they're hiding something big; something that they don't want other people to see or hear about.
Bending down in front of the man, I put on my best puppy dog eyes and look straight towards him. Nobody can resist this face, not even Lilly could, so it doesn't take long for Bo to sigh and relent. Satisfied, I walk over to the wall where Bo leads me towards.
"See that up there?" he asks, pointing to a long, metal thing that looks eerily similar to the one I crawled through at the dairy. "It's a ventilation shaft, should lead straight into a viewing platform that overlooks the chemical testing room. The glass is transparent though, so you need to stay out of sight the whole time that you're up there. When you're finished, just climb back out and come straight back."
"Chemical testing?" I question, not really sure of the concept. "What are they testing on?"
"…go, before somebody sees you," he tells me, hoisting me up to the shaft and through the small hole that leads into it. Thankfully this hasn't worked in a while, so the covering was off on one of the sides in order for me to enter. Unfortunately, though, I'm not quite as small as I once was, and I start breathing a bit heavier as I struggle to squeeze through.
If I get stuck in here, I'm gonna be so pissed off! I've had a bit of claustrophobia ever since the St. John's, and I will not die like that, no sir!
I try my best to be quiet, but the damn ventilation shaft clanks and thuds as I crawl forward. If anybody's listening in, then I'm so dead. Hopefully Bo's covering for me back downstairs.
Almost cutting myself on an exposed screw, I loosen them off the cover of the shaft and cringe as the thing almost topples to the ground below. I haven't even gotten to see anything yet, so I don't want to get caught now!
Or ever, for that matter – who knows what Debbie will really do if she finds me around here.
I land clumsily on the floor below me, but do as Bo had suggested and hide behind a box before anybody notices me here. I'm about to question why I didn't just use the door behind me instead of crawling around like a baby, but then I remember how that would just lead back into the board room – not the place that I want to go.
"Everything taken care of, Deb?"
"For now at least… I can't believe that little shit! She had no right to say that stuff to you, to any of us! We never should've let her stay with us in the first place…"
"She's just a child, Debbie. Having to go through what she has at her age… It doesn't really surprise me that she's lost all hope. Just give her some time, and she'll come around."
"We don't need her, James! She made it pretty clear that she thinks this is a stupid idea! What do you think will happen when she finds out – "
"She won't."
"You don't know that… Besides, I already told her to leave…"
"What?! Why the hell would you say that?! You know how impressionable kids can be at her age!"
Please don't open this door. Please don't open this door! Please, please, please don't open this door!
"What would she have contributed anyways? She's, what, ten years old?!"
Twelve, I mouth silently, scowling at how useless she thinks I am. Would a dumb, useless kid be able to break into here without any of you noticing? I don't think so.
"Just… god damn it, you know we do these things as a group! What if she dies out there, huh?"
"…I didn't enjoy doing it, James. Besides, she could shoot a gun almost as well as Bo could. If she survived out there before, I don't see why she can't now."
"Fine… I hope you're right about this, Deb. You usually are but…"
"Let's just see how the tests are going, alright honey?"
"Yeah… yeah, you're right. Suit up and I'll meet you downstairs."
As the conversation comes to a close, I finish eavesdropping and carefully sneak up to the big glass window that Bo had said looks over the whole complex.
I wish that I hadn't. Right now, at this very moment, I wish that I had never come here and never ended up at the Houston Space Station at all. Unable to resist the urge to vomit, I spew my guts out onto the floor beside me; thankfully nobody's noticed me or heard any noises coming from my direction.
What has been seen cannot be undone… Dead bodies are thrown carelessly in a pile in the corner, with flies encircling their rotting corpses as they slowly start to decay. The expressions on their faces are all twisted and horror-stricken.
But that's nothing compared to the ones that are still alive.
Remember that bandit that they spared? Yeah, he's strapped with leather belts and tied down to a bed while people in hazard suits poke him with needles. An IV tube filled with some kind of green liquid is injected into his left arm, and he can't scream or do anything because they've gagged his mouth with a dirty cloth or something. The disgusting thing is that they've cut open his head so that you can see inside – no joke, I can see his brain from here. He's awake during this entire thing.
You wanna know the worst part about all of this though? There are four more beds. Yeah, four more bandits are strapped down, but their IV bags are almost completely empty and they're just sitting there; looking like vegetables as the drool hangs out of their mouths. Their heads are sewn back up at least, but they've left huge scars where they cut open.
The thrashing bandit makes eye contact with me, and my insides churn as I see the fear in his eyes. He's silently begging me to do something… anything to end this torture for him.
But I can't.
If I shoot now, I'm dead and so is he. The second they hear gunfire, those "people" (if you have the stomach to call them that) will come bursting through the door and tackle me to the ground. Who knows? I could be their next victim strapped to that bed.
Holy shit… is… is that what's going to happen to me?!
I want to run. I want to run so freaking badly that it hurts, but I can't do that. My legs are frozen in paralysis, and no I don't need a wheelchair again. This time it's just in complete shock at what these animals have been doing the whole time. Sure, they're bandits, and they've tried to steal, rape and kill… but nobody deserves this. I'm positive that they wouldn't ever volunteer to have needles and sharp, metal objects get stuck into their body.
"Clementine…"
The radio buzzer goes off in the room that I'm standing in, and all at once every single worker in the testing room looks up to where I'm standing. I'm kind of shitting my pants in fear over here, but I stand my ground; looking at James as he in his hazard suit stares up at me.
Keeping a neutral expression, I pull out my pistol, calmly hold it at my side, and walk out the back door.
AN: Alright, so I'm going to start book three next chapter, which I think is going to be soooo rewarding – not only for you guys, but also for me with how much fun I'm going to have. I've got some BIG things coming up, so stay tuned for that! Thanks for reading, and please drop a review!
And hell yes, Jilly has finally occurred :D