7
Make-up
Sakura sat in front of the mirror in her room, eye-pencil in her hand, emphasizing the bright beauty of her emerald eyes with soft, thin lines.
"Is that you, Haruno Sakura?"
Sakura smiled a bit at the man, who she saw in the reflection, sitting on her window. "Yes."
Kakashi shook his head. "I leave the village for few months, and in the meantime, you grow even more. One day I'll return and you'll be a married woman."
Sakura blushed a bit at that, the blush covered by the layer of make-up and the hint of blusher she put on to accentuate her cheekbones. "Maybe, Kakashi-sensei."
Kakashi observed her silently. "Why the finery?" he asked finally.
"Kiba-kun celebrates his birthday today, and he made a party for us… kids." She added a bit of mascara and leaned back to look at the outcome of her work.
"You look beautiful, Sakura," Kakashi assured her.
She looked down immediately. "Thank you, sensei."
"Can you not call me sensei for a while? I feel so old when a grown woman like you calls me sensei."
She bit her lipstick-covered lips. "I'm barely eighteen, sensei."
"Please, Sakura."
She took in a breath and looked up at the reflection of Kakashi in her mirror. "Okay… Kakashi."
The word had a strange taste on her tongue. It felt… like reminder of old times, like the old, happy Team Seven, like the old, foolish Sakura. It was bittersweet, the mix of foolish naivety and happiness…
She felt her eyes get watery.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you."
"When?"
"When bad things were happening, when you cried, when you fought with yourself."
"It's not your fault, Kakashi."
"It is. But I couldn't help even if I wanted. I've never understood you, Sakura. And perhaps I never will. All I know is that I can be there for you now - and that you don't need me anymore."
She swallowed. "That's not true, sensei."
"It is. I am like that make-up: you can use me to feel a bit better, to have some false sense of security. You can hide behind me. But in the end, having me around would be just bad for you. In the end, I mean nothing."
"You mean a lot to me, sensei."
"And you mean a lot to me, Sakura. We share a fair bit of a past. But your past is where I belong. There is no need for me anymore. There is a difference between me and the make-up: you never needed it. You are beautiful enough without it."
She turned and looked at him straightforward. "Kakashi."
He looked at her. Melancholically, with deep grief hidden beneath. "Good night, Sakura," he said and turned to jump out of her window.
"Kakashi. Please. Stay."
But she knew what will happen.
Kakashi left.
They always left.
Left her alone.
Kakashi, Sasuke…
Tears began to stream down her face, washing away her carefully applied make-up.
Taking a handful of tissues, she rubbed it all away, tears and make-up alike.
Colorful swirls on the tissue when she put it away, red from lipstick and black from mascara…
It looked like a sharingan eye.
In the end she left, without the make-up, without anything to hide behind.
Because she couldn't face life if she hid her face beneath it.
Because, in the end, the make-up meant nothing.