AN: You know what? Other people seem to be doing this whole review response thing before the chapter starts, so what the heck – I'm gonna give it a whirl.
Rebloxic: Hell yesss, thanks for the constant support, man! Whenever I post a new chapter you're almost always one of the first names to pop up :) And you guys should totally check out his fic called "LoveHate", I've really gotten into it.
Emilyrose727: Lol yeah, I thought it seemed like something Lilly would think :P Btw, congrats on nearly getting 300 reviews! That's insane, and you've worked real hard to get there – you should be proud!
Clemmyclue19: I told you I'd give you a surprise, so here it comes :D Hope you like it, and thanks for all the reviews!
VictoriaSW: That MIGHT happen, but I'm going to leave it up in the air for now ;) Gotta have something to look forward to lol
Aqua: Yep, they sure did lol and your story's getting intense! I've got a feeling some big things are gonna start happening!
Galen: I'm glad that I'm not the only one who enjoyed that game aha, and… well, just keep reading to find out the big surprise I've got in store ;)
Guest: Wow, that's huge – thank you so much! I'd PM you but I can't do that so… I'm glad you're enjoying it :)
Alright, here's a little early Xmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa present for you guys, enjoy!
This is so stupid. Why the hell am I being such an ignorant moron?! Isn't the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"?! I should've left two days ago when I had the chance, but noooooo I just had to keep thinking about all that Bo was saying and how defenseless these people would end up being if it was just here to protect them!
You know what, Lee? I know you taught me that people always deserve a second chance, but maybe you're not always right! You don't always have the answers, you know! And now, thanks to your words of wisdom that are stuck in my head, I've decided to stay and try to help out around here!
This is the worst idea that I've had in a long time, and trust me when I say that I've had plenty of bad ideas before!
You'd think after everything that's happened, with people lying in front of my face, backstabbing others that they've cared about on a regular basis and just plain-out being untrustworthy, that I wouldn't be so quick to forgive others. You'd think that I would totally expose James, Debbie and the rest of them to the rest of the space station; ruing their reputations and causing nearly everyone to move out.
But I didn't do that.
No, instead of letting the group know the truth that they deserve, I've kept my mouth shut and stuck around anyone whose names aren't Debbie or James. Hell, I've even been trying to avoid Bo recently, especially after that whole leadership thing. I still don't think that I'm cut out for it, and I'm pretty sure that he's worried about scaring me away. So, thankfully, he's managed to give me some space every once in a while.
Such as right now, for instance, as I scrounge through an abandoned hunting supply store just a few blocks away from the space center. Bo didn't seem to think that it was a good idea for me to go off by myself, but I pointed out how much he'd be contradicting himself by telling me earlier how independent I had become. He didn't argue with me much after that.
This place smells like a combination of firewood and old, musty clothes that've been left in the washing machine for too long. It's a weird combo, I know, but it's better than smelling dead, decaying bodies all day. The store is called Bass Pro Shop, and I'm going to assume that it used to be a fishing store considering the giant bass planted on the sign. I bet that my Dad would come into places like this all the time back when he was going out on one of his trips.
I carefully shut the glass door behind me and step inside; flashlight in one hand while my pistol rests in the other. It's pretty clear in here so far – nothing too crazy except for a bunch of tossed sport fishing magazines and some boating clothes.
What I'm really looking for is the gun section – they usually had one in stores like these.
If not for the light coming through the smashed glass windows, I wouldn't be able to see a damn thing in here. Some old blood stains on the floor indicated a struggle taking place somewhere around here, and so I follow the trail as it leads me down rows of camouflage jackets, brown steel-toed boots and broken fishing rods. The trail is all dried up and crusty-looking on the ground, and I can only assume the worst as it takes a left down to the canoe equipment section.
"Damn…" I mutter sadly, shaking my head in disgust as I lift my collar up to cover my nose. A few rats scurry away as I approach the body; bending down on one knee to get a better look at the woman. If the broken oar on the tiles beside her is any indication, I'd say that this girl got paddled to death and wasn't able to turn afterwards.
But the infection's still sleeping inside of her, I remind myself, finding this stuff actually more interesting now that I actually know a bit more about it. I'll give James one thing – he certainly knows what he's talking about when it comes to infectious diseases. How he applies this is just the worst, but he's certainly not stupid.
Kicking her leg with my shoe to see if she'll move around at all, I dig my hand around in her pockets in search of anything useful. Nothing but pocket lint and a few instant-coffee packets for the most part, but I do manage to grasp my fingers on a worn-out, torn, folded and bloody letter that's very difficult to make out, but I sit across from this dead woman and start to read (even though it's still hard for me to do). Who knows? Maybe she knew something about this place that I didn't.
Flickering the flashlight a little bit, I squint my eyes as the words start to become visible.
Ellie,
I'm going to share a secret with you, I'm not a big fan of kids and I hate babies. And yet… I'm staring at you and I'm just awestruck.
You're not even a day old and holding you is the most incredible thing I've done in my life – a life that one day might be cut short. So I'm writing this as my will; my last words for you for when the time comes that I cannot speak.
There's no one in this world that I care about more than you, and I don't want you to have to grow up like me. You deserve far better, and I absolutely refuse to willingly make you go through the same horrible stuff that I experienced as a child. Just keep your wits about you, don't give those you care about hard time… and try not to be as stubborn as me.
I'm not going to lie, this world can be pretty messed up. It might kick you, knock you down and beat you up. It won't be easy, but picking yourself back up off the ground is the one thing that keeps us going.
The thing that you always have to remember is that…
Looking over at the dead woman across from me, I frown sadly as I wonder what could've possibly happened to her. Did she get bit and then put down? Or was she killed by a raging madman? Just from reading what this is so far, I can already tell that she must've been a good mom… just like I told Rebecca so long ago…
God damn it… AJ…
Shaking these thoughts aside, I flip the paper over and flatten it out on my leg as I keep reading. There's not much left to it.
…life is worth living! Find your purpose and fight for it.
I see so much strength in you. I know your Dad was never around much, and that it's been hard with only one parent. But I know you'll turn out to be the woman you're meant to be.
Forever… your loving mother,
Anna
Make me proud, Ellie!
I'm kind of torn about this. It feels sort of wrong to take this letter with me; almost as if I'm disturbing and disgracing this mother and her child by removing something so personal and meaningful to them. However, at the same time, I almost feel like it's a responsibility of me to take this thing. What's the point of having it sit in this woman's pocket if nobody's going to be around to read it?
Carefully folding it back up, I place it in my pocket and make a mental note to ask if anyone at the space station might know about this girl or where she might've gone.
"I'm sorry this happened to you…" I whisper gently, even though I know for a fact that she's dead and won't be able to hear me.
It just wouldn't feel right to leave without paying some sort of respect, especially after taking something so obviously precious to her.
….
"This should do the trick," I comment, scratching my chin as I notice the encased guns. The only thing stopping me from getting at them is this little grate thing with a padlock holding it in place. That's going to be a challenge and a half…
"Instead of breaking the padlock, remove the screws, sweet pea."
"Get out of my head, Lee," I command, scowling as I repeatedly smack myself in the forehead a few times over. "I can do this on my own. You're not real, you're… dead!"
"Then why can you hear me?" he teases, ringing in my ear drums as I feel a cold shiver go through my body. It's almost as if his ghost has come back to haunt me. "People only disappear if you think they do. If you imagine I'm here, then I never left, Clementine…"
"No…NO!" I scream, holding my ears like a child as I slam into a nearby fishing set; sending all of the hooks and bait to go tumbling to the floor. "Not again… I… I killed you! I shot you in the jewelry store! Get out… GET OUT! YOU'RE NOT HERE, DAMN IT! YOU LEFT ME! YOU LIED AND SAID YOU WOULDN'T, BUT YOU'RE DEAD!"
Hearing my voice echo off the high ceiling and throughout the empty fishing store, I slide downwards and hold my head in my hands. This cannot be happening… not again… I thought that I was done with this shit!
You see, after Lee and Omid had died, and Christa went into a dark silence for over a year, I slowly started to… hear things. Voices, usually; people that were long gone but would haunt my dreams and slowly creep their way into my reality. I'd yell at things that weren't there, see people that only I would be able to spot. It got to the point where the silent and moody Christa had to physically restrain me when I started screaming at Lee to get that strange kidnapper away from me.
To put it simply, I was going bat-shit crazy.
I'd covered it up pretty well until that point, which is when Christa finally started to realize just what tender age I was really at and that me hearing voices was potentially dangerous to my health. I heard her mention schizo… something, but I never fully understood what she was telling me. She didn't seem really bothered by it, probably because she most likely saw me as excess baggage after I "supposedly" got Omid killed, so I didn't worry about it that much either. There were a few instances afterwards where I'd hear voices in my head… telling me to do things sometimes… but they were few and far between.
I'd been able to hold them at bay for so long because I had finally found some people to care about – Luke, Nick and the rest of the cabin crew at first, and then when we reunited with Kenny the voices were mostly forgotten. I debated telling Kenny the truth when we arrived at the ski lodge that night, but I didn't want to spoil the moment. I hadn't seen him in so long that I didn't want to just bury him with my problems. Besides, the people and voices were gone, so what was the point in bringing something up from the past?
This – this is why. As I grip my hair so tightly that it hurts, leaning up alone in an old bass pro shop out in downtown Houston, the voices are my only companions now. It's usually Kenny, Carver and Lee whispering things in my ear, but it hasn't been this bad in a long time.
Leaning my head back and trying to collect myself after my little episode, I shudder as Jane sits across from me. I swear to god, everything inside of me is telling me that she's right there… but I know better.
Shakily, I reach my hand out to grab hers, but Jane simply shakes her head and points her finger up above to the right of me. Confused, I look to where she's pointing at to see some sort of strange contraption that I'm sure I've seen before, and when I go to grab the device that's when I realize it – I used this to open the can back when that dog bit me. Switchblades are always useful in these sorts of situations.
I turn my head back to thank her, but Jane's gone as soon as I turn around.
Feeling more alone than ever, I let out a quiet sob but force it back down into my small frame as I stand up and grab the switchblade; flipping it open a few times and stabbing at the air to see how it works. This thing could be deadly if you get a weak spot on a person, but going up close and personal to people isn't exactly my strong suit. I'd prefer to bring a gun to a fight over a knife any day.
The screws on the weapon rack are pretty loose already, making me think that somebody else must've tried the same thing at one point. So, taking the switchblade and putting it into the grooves, I twist around until all four of the screws are safely removed; cringing as the grate comes crashing to the floor with a loud bang.
I need to hurry this up before the walkers come lurking.
Hurriedly looking around, I snap my fingers in satisfaction as I yank a bag off one of the shelves and start putting some of this equipment inside. The two hunting rifles have got to be slung around my back, but the handguns can fit nice and snug inside as I put some boxes of ammunition in as well. You know, for one of my first times scavenging for items on my own, I have to say that I'm doing a pretty damn good job so far! These will definitely come in handy for the gun training that I (idiotically) agreed to start with Bo for the rest of the station.
Zipping the bag back up, I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach when I hear some walkers banging on the front door and glass windows at the front of the store. Looks like I'm taking the back exit this time around…
…
"Ughh… no fair! Riley, you know I can't reach that high!" the little girl pouts, crossing her arms as she frowns up at her friend. "That's cheating! We can't play tag if you're up there!"
"Don't be such a baby! Ha ha, you never said where we could hide!" Riley mocks, sticking her tongue out at her playmate while kicking her legs out over the railing. "You're too small, give it up already!"
"You suck donkey ass!" she replies, covering her mouth and trying to fight off an army of giggles as Riley widens her eyes at the language.
"That was a swear!"
"I bet that I know more of them than you!" she mocks, trying to climb up on a dumpster but failing miserably. "Ahem… ASS, BITCH, SHIT, DAMN… umm… oh! FUCK!"
"Dad made me wash my mouth out with soap when I said that stuff! It was sooooo gross!" Riley complains, scrunching up her face with disgust just thinking about it.
The little girl on the ground, grins in contentment; most likely feeling proud that she was allowed to say such things with no grown-ups around. She opens up the dumpster to look for any cool stuff, but immediately gags and closes it shut again as the smell reaches her nostrils. Riley laughs as her friend plugs her nose while trying to find something else to do.
"I don't wanna play no more!" the girl complains, twirling around in a circle to try and make herself dizzy. "Tag is a dumb game anyways…"
"No it's not! You're just being a whiner 'cause you can't catch me!" Riley mocks, losing track of her friend when she spins around the corner…
…right close by to a walker that's feasting on a dead raccoon.
"Stupid kids…" I mutter, coming out of my hiding spot behind some trash bags as I follow the little red-head with a gun in my hand. Riley spots me a second later and instantly starts yelling for her friend to run and for me to go away, but I give her a sharp glare and put a finger to my lips; telling her to be quiet.
The kid still doesn't know that she's walking right near a dead guy, so she continues to wander about aimlessly looking for something to do. She tries (and fails) to whistle to some stupid tune that she's probably heard of before, but is still completely oblivious to the fact that a walker has heard her and started to stand.
"Rileeeeeyyyyy," she whines, huffing out a sigh as she lifts her face to the clouds. "Come down already! This is no fun no more!"
"MOVE!" I roar, grabbing her arm and roughly yanking her to the side before a walker takes a bite out of her scrawny arms. Naturally, she's incredibly alarmed and starts freaking out when I grab her, but she's shocked into speechlessness when I shoot the walker in the head; sending its brains to go splattering onto the pavement.
Breathing heavily, the little girl clutches onto Riley's arm as they both look upon with wide, frightened eyes. Riley protectively shields her friend from danger, and unfortunately they both seem to think that I look like the boogeyman or something.
As if I really care about what two little punks like these think about me.
"Wh-what do you… w-want?" Riley stutters, placing an arm in front of the red-head as she looks at me hesitantly.
I open my mouth to speak, but I'm interrupted by the sound of at least a dozen or more walkers that are quickly making their way towards us. Shit, they must've broken in through the fishing store on the next street over!
"Grr…" I growl, grinding my teeth together as I shoot two more of the monsters down. I then turn back to the two kids with an angry expression, meaning business as I frown deeply. "If you want to live, come with me!"
"Mom… Mom always said not to talk to – "
"Strangers, yeah I get it!" I interrupt the younger of the two, rolling my eyes as I start to take off. "Well, your Mom's not here right now, kid! So quit your yapping and let's go! Or would you rather try your luck with them?!"
Instantly shaking their heads, the two young girls follow me over to a small restaurant with a hole that's small enough for all three of us to crawl through. Thank god that I hardly grow very much…
"You first! I'll cover you!" I order, feeling more like the leader that Bo said I could be. Huh, maybe I wouldn't be so bad at this stuff after all. "Move it!"
The redhead sticks her finger in her mouth pensively, but seems a little bit more reassured once Riley bravely crawls inside. I shoot another walker to buy us a little bit of more time, but it won't matter if we're caught out in the open like this.
After looking over at me one more time, the kid worriedly bends down and crawls in through the hole in the wall, but I mentally slap myself when she gets her jeans stuck on a loose nail.
"You've got to be kidding me…" I mutter, pulling her pocket off the rusty nail and flinging the metal away. "GO NOW! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!"
"Ok, you big meanie! I'm going!" the girl bites back, making me groan as she tells Riley to grab her arms and push her forward. Having more than enough of this stupid kid stuff, I shove her legs through and start to crawl in myself; hoping to god that a walker doesn't pick their teeth with my legs.
"We gotta hide!" Riley shouts quickly, panic starting to kick in as the two girls scurry about inside of the restaurant. They're definitely younger than me, that's for certain. Squeezing my way inside, I just barely avoid danger as the walkers snap their jaws and start banging on the walls again. "Ellie, what are we gonna do?!"
Everything stops. Time goes to a standstill as I cautiously look upon the young redhead; nervousness playing at her features and confusion as to why I'm just standing here not doing anything about the incoming walkers. My hand trails to my pocket for just a second, but I quickly shake off the notion as I go back to the issue at hand.
It won't matter what I tell her if we all end up dead anyways.
"Find something to block the hole, sweet pea," Lee coaches, sending chills within me again as the voices come back in full force. I'll admit, hearing my old guardian's encouraging tone isn't the worst that could happen, and as much as I miss him, I'd rather not be plagued down by hearing him every time I try to do something.
The here and now – that's what's important.
"Find a box!" I tell them urgently, starting to look under shelves and tables for anything remotely useful. Looks like I'm gonna be a bit late getting back to Houston Hills.
AN: So, there's your present, guys! Hope you're as excited as I am – this is gonna be fun :) Before you ask, yes I changed the circumstances and ages to have it work for TWDG universe, but I still think it's going to work. Hopefully you guys are alright with that.
Anyways, if I don't manage to write another chapter before the holidays, have a good one guys!