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RandomWriter23: Bahaha you guys and your reviews for this chapter I dieD! I went back and read it to see which parts you were talking about and I laughed way too hard tbh XD Thank youuu :*
"Jackie, sweetie, wake up."
"I have a black belt, don't poke me," I mumbled at the human alarm clock interrupting my dream.
"She does not."
I heard my brother's voice cut through the fog in my head and opened one eye to glare at him. "You're never home, how would you know?"
"Ah look everyone, the beast has awoken. How lovely of you to join us, Jacqueline."
"I'm gonna shove my stilettos up your ass, James."
"No one's touching this ass but me," Kali interrupted, stepping in front of James and reaching back to playfully squeeze his butt.
"Not in front of the children, please," my boyfriend cut in, shielding his eyes as he walked past the happy couple before stepping over to me.
"Who ruined my dream?"
"That was Kali, baby girl," Kendall smiled at me, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. "Do you feel rested?"
"Mmhm." I stretched my arms out in a silent question and Kendall tucked his hands under them, effortlessly helping me down to the floor. I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my nose into his neck, delighting in the feeling of his stubble scratching my smooth skin. Lifting my arms above my head, I stretched them towards the ceiling and let out a moan as I felt my back crack.
Kendall blushed, eyes concentrating on the floor as James reached around Kali to smack my boyfriend upside the head. He snapped his head up, glaring daggers at my older brother. "What the fuck, James?"
"Don't fantasize about my little sister while I'm right here. It's weird."
"I wasn't!"
"You were," Kali and I both responded with nods.
"I totally wasn't!"
I shook my head at him like a disappointed parent before laughing and pulling him into a side hug and reaching up to ruffle his hair. Kendall of course ducked away before I could get my hand in his blonde locks, sticking his tongue out at me like the mature adult he was.
"Alright, if you two are quite done," James cut in with a chuckle, "I was gonna suggest that we all go out for lunch."
"Ken, look, Jamesy has a sweet side," I cooed to my boyfriend, hand over my heart.
"I'll revoke the offer, smartass."
"Touchy, touchy," I shot back at him as Kendall pulled me into his arms, leaning down to rest his chin on my shoulder. I turned to him to kiss his temple as he shook his hair out of his eyes, making me end up with a mouthful of blonde. "Okay that's gross," I coughed. "And your hair...smells flowery." I quirked an eyebrow at my boyfriend as he smiled at me shyly.
"Kendall?" Kali questioned. "Did you...?"
"I forgot to take my shampoo into the shower with me, alright?"
"That's a new one," James snorted. "You're sure you're not gay, right?"
"Just ask your little sister," Kendall responded to my brother, voice dripping with sweetness. "I'm sure she can attest to me being straight."
"Now which way are we using the word 'straight'?" Kali asked with a smirk.
"Oh. My. God," I whispered, absolutely mortified. "I'm going back to sleep."
"Noo you're going with us out to lunch," James insisted. "Lover boy, what about you?"
"I'm uh...gonna go jump in the shower," Kendall chuckled.
"To regain your manly, musky scent?" I giggled, hiding my face in his neck.
"James, she's mean. Take her."
I squealed as he pushed me in the direction of James and Kali, not realizing that Kali's hands were still behind my brother doing god knows what. Unfortunately for me, that meant there were no helping hands to catch me. I was surprised to land on a pair of legs instead of the floor, and opened my eyes when I realized I was still alive and unbroken, coming face to...zipper.
I let out a shriek as I sat up and quickly scrambled off a very dazed Logan, probably resembling a squirrel who's just been shot at.
Don't ask about that comparison. I just went through a traumatic experience, okay?
I turned with a glare to my boyfriend who was doubled over, laughing, his shoulders shaking as he let out quite a few "ohmygod"s.
"Kendall, I'm gonna kill you!" James and I shouted at the same time. Just by looking at James' stance, I could tell our eyes were definitely sending the same message.
"I'm just gonna..."
"Walk. Shower. Go. Now," I growled at Kendall.
"Going!" He quickly pulled me up to a standing position, kissed my cheek, and patted my head.
"I'm not a puppy!" I barked at Kendall, stomping my sock covered foot.
"Do you bite more than a puppy?" Kali jumped in, a playful yet devious tone attached to the question. James, Kendall, and I all gave eachother a look before simultaneously shaking our heads and walking away in different directions, leaving Kali standing in the middle of the hallway between our beds, thoroughly confused. "Aw c'mon, you guys! That was a good one! Guys? Guys!"
"Just keep walking," James whispered in my ear, hand on my back steering me away from his fiancé. "You didn't hear a thing."
"But she's calling us and-"
"Shh. You didn't hear a thing."
"You guys are so mean," Kali huffed as she broke her chopsticks apart, this act accompanied by a very dramatic eye roll. "You left me, you jerks."
"Baby," James whined, stretching out the word, "we came back for you!"
"But you left me," Kali argued, lightly shoving James, jostling me because I was on his other side as we shared a seat in the booth, the bench across from us empty. I leaned forward and narrowed my eyes at her, shaking my head before settling back in my seat.
"You said something totally raunchy," I threw into the mix, resulting in a look from James.
"Since when are you British?"
"I'm not."
"But you said raunchy."
"Not only British people say it, okay?" I yelled, throwing my hands up.
"Wow, touchy," James mumbled, shifting closer to Kali.
"Do you know how many times someone's said that?"
"That you're touchy?" my brother asked sympathetically. "See, it's because you react quickly to everyth-"
"No, you idiot, that I'm British!"
"Exhibit A."
"I am not touchy. I'm not!"
"You kinda are, sweetheart," Kali added, nodding at me.
"Of course you'd agree with James," I growled back.
"Love you, darling."
"Love you too, crazy."
"I love both of you, so will you please shut up now?" James pulled me and Kali into a hug, Kali sighing contently in his arms, me grumbling about how he was squashing me. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and fished it out, placing it on the table to read the text.
"Uh guys?"
"Hmm?"
"If we don't wanna get left behind, we should probably go. Like now. Move, people, move!"
"They can't leave without me," James laughed. "Right?"
"Carlos said they're leaving in five," I responded, voice urgent, waving my phone in front of my brother's face. "We'll carry out, now c'mon!"
"Guys?" I called into what appeared to be an empty bus, shooting James and Kali a look as I climbed up the stairs. "Hello? Anyone home?"
We walked through our little dining and lounging area- completely empty.
And then suddenly, there stood my boyfriend in all his naked glory, sure that he was alone on the bus and completely disregarding the mirror situated directly across from the bathroom.
I'll have to remember to thank the designers of this tour bus one day.
James and Kali each used one of their hands to shield their eyes, their other hands coming up to layer over my eyes, blocking my beautiful view. An involuntary moan slipped past my lips and the two of them shifted their hands down my face to cover my mouth, absolutely mortified. I took their arms and pulled them across my body to cover eachother's mouths, deftly ducking down under their arms and stepping over to my boyfriend, pulling him to me in a heated kiss. Green eyes sparked with surprise, softening a second after Kendall realized it was only little ol' me. I pushed him backwards into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind us.
Forty minutes later, we stepped out through the doorway, hair sopping wet, huge grins on our faces. We shared one last kiss before breaking apart to sit on either side of James and Kali who remained motionless on the couch.
"Damn, I'm starving," I sighed, sitting back and laughing at my older brother and future sister in-law's faces. "What's wrong, guys?"
James let out a choked whine and shuddered, Kali immediately scooting closer to comfort him. "The- The shower," my brother cried, gagging a bit.
"Oh please," Kendall scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You guys totally 'broke it in', shall we say, the first night."
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"You sound like five year olds," I shook my head, standing up and stretching. "Wait, are we moving?"
"Yeah, now we are," Kali grumbled, leaning her head on James' shoulder. "Carlos texted you to freak us out so we'd bring food back for them. We just left like ten minutes ago."
"We would've brought food back regardless!" I argued, hands on my hips.
"That's exactly what I said," she agreed with me. "Boys are just ugh."
"Amen to that," I sighed, nodding.
"Even me?" Kendall questioned me, jutting his lip out, his signature puppy dog look.
"Yeah you too, you jerk!" Kali and I yelled at him together.
"Only sometimes, sweetheart," he smirked back at me.
I dry choked and put my hand on his face, shoving him backwards into the leather couch before heading off in search of food.
"You're such a terrible person!" I heard James bark.
"It was a true statement!" Kendall argued, voice rising.
"You're still a terrible person, honey," I yelled from my place in the kitchen, head stuck in the fridge. "Ugh you guys suck!"
"What now?" Kali laughed, joining me in the kitchen, leaning on the open fridge door.
"There's like no Chinese food left," I whined, displaying the half empty Lo Mein carton.
"Kendall sure does like his Chinese food," Logan commented as he walked by, laughing at his own joke.
I grabbed his shoulder before he could escape, turning him to face me, eyes narrowed. "No jokes about that, asshole."
"Touchy subject?"
"Very."
"Got it," he nodded, throwing me a quick thumbs up. "Love you, sunshine."
"Walk away, Henderson. Just walk away."
"Don't you love me?"
"Logan, she loves you too, now go," Kali giggled, playfully kicking his butt as he continued on his way.
"What is it with you and butts?" I questioned with a laugh, standing to face her.
"What?"
"You always find a way to talk about or kick their butts, man," I shrugged.
"They have nice butts," Kali blushed, hiding her face behind her long blonde hair.
"I...Yeah, true, true," I conceded with a nod. "Carry on."
"Thanks for your permission, kiddo," she teased, playfully knocking me upside the head.
"Hey, quit it," I laughed, swatting at her hand.
"Anyway," Kali started, laughter dissipating, "can we talk?"
"Yeah, of course," I immediately answered, noting the serious tone of her voice. "What's up?"
Where they can't hear, she mouthed, nodding back in the direction of the boys.
I knitted my eyebrows together in confusion but nodded nonetheless, sensing something was up. I grabbed my plate of leftovers out of the microwave and set it down at the table, sitting and motioning for Kali to join me.
"Want some?"
"I'll steal a little," she smiled at me. "Thanks, hon."
"So what's bothering you?" I asked, digging into my meal.
"Promise this doesn't go back to your brother?"
"Ohmygod he's horrible in bed!" I shouted, cheeks going bright red.
"No I'm not!" James yelped from the couch. "Kali, tell her I'm not!"
"He's not," Kali yelled, loud enough so that James could hear. "You idiot, no," she giggled, shaking her head at me. "He's great in bed. Like seriously, he's a tiger and I-"
I placed my index finger over her lips and quickly shook my head. "No, no. Shh. No need to share." She playfully nipped my finger and I laughed, pulling my hand back. "But in all seriousness, why'd you sound so worried?"
"I'm scared, Jackie," she confessed, a frown adorning her beautiful face.
"Of what, Kal?"
"Not of what. To what."
"To marry James," I sighed, nodding and sitting back. "Alright, let's hear it."
"How'd you know?"
"I'm practically your sister. I know how your head works."
"James is lucky we get along so well."
"True that! Now speak to me, my darling."
"Okay well..." She trailed off, lips pursed in thought, twisting her engagement ring around her finger. "Your brother is an absolutely amazing man and I just want to be the best possible support system I can be for him, yknow? He's given me so much love and joy and laughter and I don't know if I'm good enough for him. He's just such a genuine, kind-hearted, literally perfect human and I'm just...well I'm me."
"And that's perfect."
"No, Jackie I mean-"
"Kal," I cut her off, "trust me when I say this: James loves you more than anything else in the world. Seriously, he never shuts up about you! Ever." I gave her an exaggerated eye roll and smiled when I saw it had made her laugh before continuing. "I'm almost positive this is the only decision in his life he didn't second guess. He wants you by his side. Forever."
"Forever and always," she nodded with a small smile, tapping her engagement ring.
"See? Don't ever doubt that you're good enough. He loves you so incredibly much!"
"Thank you for always being there, hon," Kali said softly, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. "Anything you want to get off your chest?"
"Why, does it seem like it?" I rushed out, swallowing audibly.
"Uh...it didn't. But now it does."
"I have to tell someone, Kali, it's killing me. I can't keep it a secret anymore."
"Jackie, breathe. What is it?"
"I...I've been...let me just show you. Wait here."
I stuck my head around the corner and found all four boys sprawled out on the couch across eachother, happily watching a movie. Satisfied that they were sufficiently distracted, I knelt down in front of our bunk and slid the drawer beneath it out, stretching my hand to the back. My hand touched the familiar sanded wood of the box I had kept a secret and I curled my fingers around it, prepared to pull it out. I had heard no footsteps approaching me and jumped with a startled shriek when two strong hands settled on my hips.
"Shh, just me, baby," Kendall soothed with a laugh. "Why so jumpy?"
"Because I didn't expect you to do that, stupid," I shot back, smacking his leg with the back of my hand.
"Whatcha doin' in there?"
"I...think my earring fell off in bed last night," I lied, cringing as I looked down at the floor. "I didn't find it here, though."
"Hon, you didn't wear earrings to bed last night."
"And that's why I can't find it here!" I let out a nervous laugh, my hand itching to smack myself on the forehead.
"You okay?"
"I'm good," I nodded with a smile, standing up and kissing him sweetly. "Go enjoy the movie."
"Do you and Kali wanna join us? I could really use a cuddle buddy," my boyfriend whispered with his signature puppy dog pout, taking my hands in his and bringing them to his mouth, kissing each of my knuckles tenderly.
"We'll come sit with you soon, I promise."
"Alright, angel, I love you," Kendall smiled at me, pressing his lips to my forehead.
"I love you, too," I sighed into his neck, allowing myself to relax in his arms.
"You would tell me if something was worrying you, right?" he questioned me softly, fingers working to untangle little knots in my hair.
"Of course." I sighed inwardly, hating that I was blatantly lying to the love of my life. I just didn't have a choice right now.
"Okay, darling. See you soon."
I waited until he had returned to the boys before dipping down and grabbing the box, quickly closing the drawer and scampering back to Kali.
"What took you so long?" she asked, concerned. "I thought something happened!"
"No, Kendall found me and I had to send him away first."
"Ah. Gotcha. What's in the box?"
I undid the clasp of my necklace and pulled it off, taking the key pendant attached to it and unlocking the thick wooden box. Hesitantly, I turned it around and lifted the lid, avoiding Kali's eyes and allowing her to take it in.
"Oh...Oh, honey."
"I found it this year when I switched my room out for the guest room since it's bigger. When I cleaned out the closet...it was there in the back."
"And you just knew it was for you?"
I delicately closed the lid and flipped the box over, indicating the "J" carved in cursive writing. "The necklace was sent to me for my sixteenth birthday. I never found out who it was from. And well...now I know."
"So he left this for you?" Kali whispered in awe, her nimble fingers tracing over the designs etched into the lid of the box.
"I guess so," I responded softly. "It's slowly filling in a missing piece of me."
"And all this inside...You've put this together?"
I nodded as she pulled out the letters, brochures, and internet searches I had compiled of my father.
"There's also this," I sighed, lifting the bottom of the box to reveal a hidden compartment. "He had put it under here, assuming I'd find it."
"You do constantly fool around with things to figure them out," Kali giggled softly. "Would you mind if I read it?"
I shook my head and smiled at her. "Go ahead. It's quite sweet actually." I moved to sit beside her so we could read at the same time and held her hand for support.
My dearest Jackie,
You've probably figured out it's me by now. Dad, Daddy, Daddyo- as James liked to call me; I'm not sure what you refer to me as. Seeing as you're older, it's probably not something very nice, and I'm assuming I'd scold you for not speaking like a proper lady.
I don't blame you if you don't want to read this. In fact, I'm not sure if you'll ever read it. I figured I'd write it anyway, just in case you're curious once you get older. Well, this age, I guess, if you're reading it.
I need you to understand that I didn't leave because I don't love you. Quite the contrary actually. I love you more than words could ever describe. The thing is, my darling, every time I look at you, I think of Jackson, and I can't explain the pain that courses through me at the thought of losing my baby boy. I'm sure Mom has told you about Jack after you pestered her, hm? Even as a baby, you were a very curious little girl. You got a lot of things faster than your older brother, but we'll keep that between us. Don't you go and make me the big bad wolf, sweetie.
I hope you don't resent me for leaving. Who am I kidding? Of course you do. But that's alright, I would, too. I'm sure you're an absolutely magnificent, intelligent, beautiful young woman. I remember your bright eyes. Ever curious, ever wandering, just wanting to take in the whole world. You were the most precious little one I had ever met (aside from your big brother, of course). Every time I look at my hands, I can still feel your tiny fingers wrapped around my own. And god, baby, do I miss you.
I know I haven't come to visit. I haven't written, I haven't called...I haven't done anything. Essentially, my darling, I've failed you as a father and I am so so sorry. The thing is, I just had a feeling you'd be better off without me. I do hope that one day you'll find me. I know you'll figure out a way to get to me, my smart girl.
If you don't want to see me, I understand that, too. But I sure would love a chance to see you all grown up, Jacqueline. My beautiful girl.
Make sure you're taking care of your brother and mother; they can get a bit caught up in life at times and forget to look after themselves. Gives James a smack for me when he says something stupid, hug Mom when she's feeling down. You know the drill. And most of all, my sweet girl? Love yourself, because I love you. I always have, and I always will.
I hope to see you one day, little bunny.
Fondly and with love, hugs, and kisses,
Dad
I turned to Kali, tears pooling in my eyes as the letter slipped between her fingers, settling on the table. She took one look at me and threw her arms around me, allowing me to let out all my pent up emotion.
"I h-have to put the box away," I sniffled, straightening out all the papers and delicately putting them back in the box before locking it. Kali helped me to put my necklace on and I crept down the hall to put the heavy wooden box back in place, kissing the top of it before hiding it all the way at the back of the drawer, underneath my clothes.
"Kali?"
"Yeah, honey?"
"How do I..." I trailed off and motioned to my face, silently asking her how to clean up without getting noticed by the boys.
"Come with me," she smiled sweetly, pulling me into a hug as we walked. I felt hot tears streaking down my cheeks and choked back a sob, not wanting to alarm my brother, adoptive brothers, and boyfriend. Even so, they could tell something was off as we walked by them.
All four immediately stood up, concern in their eyes as they watched us bypass them and head straight for the bathroom. Kali led me inside and I collapsed against the wall, sliding down until I met the floor and dropping my head into my hands.
"Oh sweetheart," Kali sighed, sitting down next to me and pulling me into her arms. "It'll be okay. We'll find him together, Jackie. You're not alone. You're never alone."
"A-All this time," I choked out, "I've hated him so much for leaving. I n-never even thought of what it was l-like for him!"
"Honey, you were hurting and in pain," she soothed, rocking me back and forth and stroking my hair. "It's your job to take care of yourself first. Then you can worry about the world, got it?"
I nodded as I held onto her, so grateful for her support. A few minutes later, I sat up on my own and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands, laughing as they came away black from my makeup. And then suddenly, I couldn't stop. I sat there, on the floor of the bathroom, laughing my head off like an idiot. Kali sat next to me, shaking her head at my stupidity, eventually giving in and joining me.
"Th-This pretty much explains the nature of our relationship," I squeaked out through my laughter, shoulders shaking as if I had just told the funniest joke in the world.
A knock on the door. James. "Everything okay in there?"
"We're good," Kali responded, giggling all the while. "Somewhat!"
"Wasn't she just crying?"
"Yeah," I stretched out the word, now sounding like a drunk idiot.
"Uh Jackie?"
"Hm?"
"Are you on...Is it that time um...Are you okay?"
"You're so stupid!" I shrieked with laughter, shaking my head at Kali. "He's stupid," I informed her. "You're marrying a stupid guy."
"You're related to this stupid guy," James huffed, his voice sounding closer now. Probably leaning against the door, I figured.
"Doesn't make you any less stupid," I sang, putting my words to a random tune.
"You're crazy, kid."
"Jamie, I'm crazy for you! Whoa oh oh oh OH-"
"I'm crazy," Kali jumped in with a grin.
"Bye, girls," James chuckled, his footsteps receding as he walked away from the door.
"Kali, what's wrong with me?" I asked with a giggle. "I sound high. Did Kendall give me drugs?"
"No, honey, maybe you're drunk on his love," Kali laughed, affectionately patting my head. "Should we get you cleaned up?"
I nodded, still laughing, and stood up to wash my face, drying off with a towel before stepping back outside.
"Bow down, boys, the queen is back," I announced in a British accent, flipping my hair with a flourish.
Kendall walked over to me with a smirk on his face, his stride full of confidence as he towered over me. I found myself backing up involuntarily, stopping out of breath when I hit the wall behind me. He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips before moving to the left and licking a stripe up my neck. "I think you should bow down before me, baby."
I licked my lips as he nuzzled his nose in my neck, the feeling of his stubble scratching my skin turning me on instantly. My eyes snapped open when I didn't feel the heat of Kendall's body pressed against mine anymore, only to find him back between James and Carlos on the couch, arms across the back of it, leg up on his lap, and a smug smirk on his face. I looked at Kali and knew she could read my questioning look. She gave me a shrug and a wink, totally telling me to go for it.
I walked over to Kendall slowly, stepping with one foot in front of the other like a runway model (yes, that received a very stern look from my spazz of an older brother). Kendall raised his eyebrows at me as I pulled his foot off his lap until it dropped to the floor, and I took the opportunity to take its place, climbing into his lap to catcalls and whistles from the peanut gallery.
I turned to find James by his fiancé's side, absolutely mortified as Kali, Logan, and Carlos cheered me on, insisting that I get my revenge. Feeling empowered by their support, I carded my hands through Kendall's hair and tugged on it, forcing his head to the side so I could work on the skin now exposed to me, kissing and nipping from his neck to his collarbone. As soon as he rolled his hips against mine, I stood up with a grin and headed straight for bed.
"Where are you going?" Kendall whined, earning a round of sympathetic noises from his three best friends.
"To take a nap, baby. I'm tired," I shrugged with a grimace, blowing him a kiss before turning and walking away.
I moved to climb into bed, stopping when I noticed the drawer beneath our bunks was sticking out a bit. A wave of nausea rushed over me as I kicked it shut, staring at the closed drawer for a few silent moments before hopping into bed and curling up beneath the sheets.
I tried to nap in earnest, but sleep wasn't coming easily anymore. I would have to tell them soon.