Hi, remember me? Been a long time, hasn't it? Finally the next chapter is here! I can only hope that it answers your expectations, and if it doesn't you are free to leave constructive criticism.
...somehow I suddenly have no idea what to say here after so long ^.^"
This story has gotten so much love, the feelings are overflowing! I couldn't believe my eyes when I last checked the numbers of reviews, faves and follows! I can't even begin to express how thankful I am to you, who have stuck around or come across this more recently, but truly, thank you so much for your support. The usual special round of heartfelt thank yous to my beloved reviewers:
Dente-di-leone, Nunnally-Chan, kurasuchi, wasabi cake, Anonymous (thank you so much, and sorry you had to wait so long), Anne (thank you for the reviews, even if they did take me by surprise. As to your question, on paper I'm Christian but personally an agnostic. I honestly still don't understand why you told me not to curse God, since I have no memory of doing that, but peace to you as well), beautisanimperfection, Daniloveswriting, Yu Kohaku, VenVen, Kimchi (thank you so much, I remember being so relieved that I made it in time with my last update when I first read your review. I don't know if you still follow my story, but I'd like you to know how much it meant - and still means - to receive your honest and warm review), kawaiinekochan16, awesome-sadist, FireGemini, hvan, HeheSmile, Nejitenfureva (oh my, it's an honour to have someone whose favorite shipping isn't even in the same anime to like my story to that extent. I hope you found the countless better fics out there enough to keep your withdrawals at bay, and no spoilers ^.~), Cm001, Colorless (yeah, sorry for the cliffie, couldn't help it...thank you so much for the compliments, sorry you had to wait so long), ChibiHyouka, KidTantei, CherryBlossomGirl22, Blue Bubble Sea, aikoojamajo (ahh, I remember what it was like being all new to the site. Thanks for reviewing now that you're familiar with it! I can say now that there won't be anything more than a sibling relationship there, but I wouldn't say that you're completely off-base, either...), Dimensional Roamer, cocoaspaces, Crimsonpoop (...please don't kill me, you'd never find out the rest if you did...and I sincerely hope that you're still alive, as well. Thank you so much for the overflowing praise, I seriously don't deserve it! Awesome nick, btw), Kelly, (thank you so much! Mmm, well, Kamui is, you know...not really the bad guy but definitely not a good guy either. More like he's all over the place yet not really there at all. I can't really reveal anything here, since I'd probably end up spoiling. Honestly speaking, even I don't know how to handle him, I have no idea what goes on in his head...that's not good, is it...? Oh, and please don't die, I value my readers), Guest (wow, you're really enthusiastic in your reviews! Thank you for the positive energy and for liking my fics), Annie (hehe, well, good guy or not, thanks for reviewing!), Guest (thank you so much! Uhh, yeah, Kamui...no idea what's going on there, honestly. He's not really good nor is he totally bad either. So, if he's just pretending or if he's actually just that...eccentric...I'll leave it to the reader's imagination. And you're probably the first one to ever say that a cliffhanger is awesome, points for that! And you're right, I haven't written the rest of the story yet...), Guest (...sorry, I don't think I made it for your birthday...still, thank you for reviewing!), Blahtoyousir, Guest (well, you could've been a bit more mature with your demand, but here is your awaited update), terry nightstalker, rinoaterra, sha5aditto, JulieBookLover21.
Truly, thank you. Without your reviews and constant support I would've never made it this far. Thank you.
I think I've done enough explaining for the long absence, so I won't bother you with another longass explanation here. Those who are curious or not informed, feel free to visit my profile.
And now, please enjoy the new chapter!
Don't hide things from your spouse, things tend to get complicated when you do
After spending the night at the Yato mansion, Kagura didn't want to return to the palace. She didn't want to see Sougo's face after what happened during the party, but she knew she had no choice. The palace was her home now, she would eventually have to return.
Almost everyone was still asleep or already gone when it was time for Kagura to go. Surprisingly, Kamui had woken up to see her off with Umibouzu. Kagura hugged her father tightly for support before turning to her brother. He looked the same as always, smiling with his eyes closed.
"Thanks for last night, I guess," Kagura muttered, averting her eyes. She didn't want to admit it, but having Kamui with her had felt reassuring.
Kamui tilted his head slightly. "Don't mention it, even if you suck you're still my little sis. Brother's responsibilities and all that, you know."
Kagura snorted. "Yeah, whatever. I'm off, then." With one last wave she walked towards the awaiting car.
"It'll be okay," Kamui called after her, making her turn to look at him in surprise. "In the end, you'll be happy."
Kagura blinked at him before smiling ruefully. "That'd be nice."
Car doors slammed close and she was on her way to face the gloomy atmosphere of the palace and worse, her fiancé.
Hijikata looked at the young man sitting next to Mitsuba's bed. He hadn't slept a wink nor eaten anything since he had barged into the room last night. Alone. Hijikata still couldn't believe the idiot had returned alone, leaving the redhead royal fiancée behind.
Flashback
Hijikata looked at his wife's prone form on the bed. They had been on an evening stroll outside when she had suddenly started coughing and fainted soon after. At first he had frozen in shock but had carried her back inside and ordered for a doctor to arrive immediately merely seconds later. He had also sent a servant to fetch Sougo and Kagura from the Yato mansion, since Sougo was very adamant about being by his sister's side at times like these.
The doctor was still in the middle of his examination when the bedroom door burst open. They turned to see who it was only to see a panicked Sougo. He was breathing heavily, so Hijikata assumed he had sprinted at full speed from the car.
"How is she?" he asked, not bothering to address them in any way.
"I'm still examining, Your Highness. I would like some peace and quiet to ensure I make no mistakes," the old doctor calmly replied, having been through this many times before during his career.
"Let's go outside, Sougo. The doctor needs space," Hijikata said and steered the worried young man to the other side of the door. With the door closed, Hijikata took a look around. "Where's your fiancée? Didn't she come with you?"
Sougo seemed to start at that, and an odd expression twisted his face for a fraction of a second before his passive mask took over. "She's still at the party," he replied monotonously.
Hijikata frowned at that. "She stayed behind to party with her relatives even though Mitsuba's in this state?"
Sougo was quiet for a second before answering. "No, I think she's annoying her relatives by crying right now."
The frown deepened at that and Hijikata narrowed his eyes at the back of Sougo's head. "What happened?" he asked. Well, his tone was more like that of a demand's than a question's.
"We had a fight, she started crying, the servant came and I left her behind."
Hijikata honestly felt like hitting his brother-in-law at that moment. "She was already hurt by something that was definitely your fault one way or another and you ran out on her?" he managed to say through gritted teeth.
"China's with her family, she'll be fine."
Hijikata just barely reigned in his urge to physically harm the dumbass. The doctor had enough work as it was. "Sougo, you're a real dumbass. If you honestly think she's going to be all smiles and sunshine when, or should I say if she comes back, you're in for a nasty surprise. You're going to have your hands full trying to get her to forgive you."
Before Sougo could answer, the door opened and the doctor called them back inside. He closed the doors behind them and turned to face the two. "Her sickness is advancing, as expected. She's still surprisingly healthy, so there's hope for a few more years with her. However, we can't afford to let our guard down now," he gave them a stern look. "Stress in particular is something she should avoid. Light exercise will do her good, but no strenuous activities. She should also resign from her position as the leader of this country as soon as possible to avoid mental stress. All in all, she should be kept as happy and carefree as possible. Fulfilling as many of her dreams as possible during these 2-5 years would be a good way to achieve this."
Hijikata glanced at Sougo. "And we know exactly what she wishes for from the bottom of her heart, don't we, Sougo?" he asked, purposefully making his voice taunting. "I told you you're going to have your hands full."
Hijikata was pulled from his musings by a knock on the door. The brownhaired maid, Otae, carefully peeked in, her normally smiling face solemn. "Kagura-sama has returned and is asking for permission to see Her Highness," she quietly informed.
Hijikata nodded in understanding. "Tell her she's welcome to visit her now," he said and walked over to Sougo. He laid a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "And you, you need nutrition and rest, so you're coming with me. Mitsuba wouldn't be all too happy if you collapsed because you were watching over her."
Sougo didn't answer him. He simply stood up and started walking towards the door. Hijikata followed close behind and almost bumped into the crown prince as he stopped suddenly at the doorway. Being taller, Hijikata could see the reason: Kagura had been waiting outside, her gaze fixated on the ground. The atmosphere around the two was especially tense, and after a moment of incredibly awkward silence Sougo turned his gaze away from the young woman and started walking away from her. Not one word was said. Hijikata gave Kagura one last look of pity before going after Sougo, to make sure he didn't fall down the stairs or something in his state. Neither of them noticed when she entered Mitsuba's room, holding back her tears.
Mitsuba woke up the next day, much to everyone's relief. She would endlessly apologize for scaring everyone whenever someone came to see her, but stopped after Hijikata gave her a scolding for apologising for things she could never be blamed for. As soon as she stopped worrying about that, though, she started noticing other things. How everyone that came into the room seemed sort of on edge and had a troubled air about them, how the place had become quiet enough to hear approaching footsteps down the hall and, most importantly, how Sougo and Kagura never visited her together. Individually they did, a lot, but they never even said a word about each other. If she asked, they would change the subject. Finally having had enough of mulling over the matter by herself, she decided to confront the two.
It was a downright dead end with Sougo. The instant she asked if something was wrong, he clammed up and wouldn't comment on the matter at all. He quickly excused himself and left, not meeting her eyes. Mitsuba concluded that whatever had happened, Sougo knew he had done something he knew wouldn't please her. He never told her things he knew - or even thought - would make her disappointed.
Kagura, on the other hand, cracked easily. All she had to do was ask her: "What did he do?" and Kagura told her everything. Well, at least it was her version of everything, spiced up with insults, tears and unfounded conclusions. Mitsuba understood her, love isn't an easy emotion and it tends to meddle with one's thoughts and reasoning. Afterwards Mitsuba spent quite a while comforting Kagura and assuring her that everything would be alright. Kagura only scoffed at that and sniffled: "That's what Kamui said, and his definition of 'everything's gonna be alright' includes brutally murdering someone."
It had been a little over a week since the catastrophic evening when Mitsuba confronted Sougo for the second time. It was already quite late, past dinner actually, and Mitsuba was just about to fall asleep when someone knocked on the door. Bewildered, since why on earth would her husband knock before coming to sleep, Mitsuba sleepily called: "Come in."
She was more than a little surprised to see her younger brother hesitantly enter after making sure there was no one else in the room or hallway. The look that came over his face as he closed the door was enough signal for her to understand why he had come. Not about to give him a chance to change his mind, Mitsuba opened her mouth before Sougo had even sat down.
"What happened that night?"
Sougo barely glanced at her before turning his gaze away. Slumped in his chair, he sighed in frustration and leaned his head on his hands. "At first everything was fine, but after I talked to this relative of hers, she suddenly got pissed and started yelling at me. I yelled back, we had a fight, she started crying and then the messenger came to get me. I left her there and rushed here in panic, and realised that I should've dragged her along only after I was already here and the bastard asked me about her."
Mitsuba idly noticed that his explanation was a lot shorter and less bitter than Kagura's. "So, this lady called Sakuya was the trigger to this whole thing?" she calmly asked, knowing that someone had to stay calm and rational in a situation like this.
Sougo immediately snapped his gaze up to her face. "I never said the relative was a woman, nor did I mention her name," he warily said. "She told you everything already, didn't she?"
Mitsuba blinked at him. So now he was accusing her for listening to them both and wanting to help them? Ok, no more nice sister, then. "Kagura-chan did tell me what happened, but that was just her part of the story. To understand better what happened that night, I need all the information I can get, since you two quite obviously are not going to resolve this on your own. Frankly speaking, I'm getting tired of the atmosphere around here and seeing that practically all joy in this place is gone because you two can't be mature enough to take better care of your relationship. You are like little children who think 'I'll never talk to you again' and 'I won't be friends with you anymore' is the way to solve things when what you really have to do is talk to each other and somehow make the other understand what you're feeling. The way things are is not going to make anyone happy and definitely not make me feel better, since I'm a big part of the reason you two even met."
Seeing how shocked her little brother was at her unusual scolding wasn't easy for Mitsuba, but she somehow knew those things had to be said. If all she ever did was pamper him and make it someone else's fault and problem, he wouldn't do a thing to make things better.
Softening her voice, she reached out to lay a hand on his. "I know things aren't easy for you two. You are both stubborn and don't care too much to talk about things, especially things that hurt and make you feel vulnerable. But to make a relationship work you need to trust each other and be able to see the bigger picture, not just what you yourselves feel. Just try to talk to her, okay? And remain as calm as you can, because the second you start a fight there's no way to turn the tide and you need to stop before things get worse."
Kagura couldn't sleep. It was past midnight and she couldn't sleep. The bed in the guest room she had been using since that night was different from the one in their room, the window gave in the wrong direction, the pillows were too soft and she was lonely.
Yes, Kagura was lonely, and it had nothing to do with the fact that the bed was too big for one person. She had gotten so used to sleeping next to Sougo, to sometimes waking up in the middle of the night to hear him talk in his sleep and to always waking up surrounded by his scent that being alone was borderline unbearable. She was lucky if she could get even three hours of sleep lately, what with everything bad and miserable just piling up and with no one to talk to. She had sent one letter to her father in one of her weak moments, but decided that she shouldn't do that again. Even if they weren't talking and would probably never make eyecontact again, Kagura still loved that sadistic prince. She didn't want him dead just yet. Maybe she would kill him herself once she was done wallowing in her brokenhearted misery.
A knock at the door almost had her jumping out of her skin in fright. 'Who would be rude enough to wake a lady at this hour?!' Kagura internally fumed as she made to get up, ignoring the fact that she was only wearing her yellow bunny pajamas.
It both was and wasn't shocking to see Sougo on the other side. Yes, they hadn't talked for days and could barely stay in the same room, but he was also the only one braindead enough to even think of waking a Yato in the middle of the night. They stood silently at the doorway for a full minute before Kagura got over her shock and slammed the door in his face. She stiffly walked back to her bed and laid under the covers, hoping that whatever was going on was only a dream and she hadn't just had another extremely awkward moment with him at a doorway.
Her door opened almost immediately and Sougo stepped in. Kagura decided to pretend to be asleep and kept very still. "If you really think I would believe you opened that door in your sleep, then you're dumber than I thought. You're awake, China, and we need to talk."
Of course he wouldn't buy it. Kagura curled into the sheets tighter, determined to avoid facing him to the last. "There's nothing to talk about," she mumbled in response, cursing inwardly at the way she sounded like a pouting kid.
"There's plenty to talk about and you know that", Sougo retaliated and the next thing she knew, he was throwing her blanket to the other side of the room. Kagura shivered at the sudden exposure to cooler air and glared at him. "Jerk, why would you steal my blanket!? Just when it got nice and warm!"
"Now that I finally have your full attention, let's get talking. What's bothering you?"
Kagura couldn't believe it. He was actually going to have this talk now, when they were both tired, after days of avoiding each other, in the middle of the night? "Now that you mention it, I am very much bothered by this sadist that has invaded my room and is not letting me sleep. Mind doing something about it?"
Completely unfazed by her comment, Sougo continued talking. "I'm bothered by the way you're never honest and the only time you are we're fighting about something I don't even understand."
Kagura felt her anger slowly starting to boil. "I'm bothered by your stupidass neverchanging expressions," she growled.
"I'm bothered by your constant yelling."
"I'm bothered by the fact that I never have any idea what you're thinking of."
"I'm bothered by your neverending stubborness."
"I'm bothered by your insensitive jerkness."
"I'm bothered by how you're not taking this relationship seriously."
Sougo had no chance of evading when Kagura's punch sent him flying against the foot of the bed. He gingerly touched his left cheek and winced in pain. "Damn, that hurt..." One glance at his fiancée, however, was enough to make him forget about that pain.
Kagura was heaving in anger and her eyes glistened with tears. Her jaw tightened and her hands were in shaking fists. The glare she had trained on him was full of hurt and betrayal and her voice quivered as she talked. "I'm the one who's not serious...? I'm the one who's not trying...? I've tried being nice, going along with your stupidass whims, calling you by your actual name, and I've practically confessed my love for you, and you dare say I'm not taking this relationship seriously!?" The tears began rolling down her cheeks but Kagura couldn't find it in herself to give a damn at this point. "Aren't you the one who's not taking this seriously? Always calling me 'China' or in some other demeaning way, never making the effort to talk to me normally, not taking my feelings into account and just doing whatever the hell you want!"
There was a very awkward pause in which Sougo tried to process Kagura's words and Kagura tried to calm her breathing and stop her tears. That was a lost battle, by the way. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Sougo slowly turned his gaze away and muttered: "I tried to tell you how irreplaceable you are five chapters ago. It's not my fault you can't take a hint..."
Kagura felt so tired. She didn't want to talk, her mind was going blank, she had no more energy to even stand on her own feet anymore. Sighing despairingly, she slumped and dropped on the floor. She buried her face into her hands and tiredly asked: "Why did you leave me behind?"
Sougo didn't answer her immediately. How should he explain the situation? How much did Kagura already know? How much should she know? In the end, he sighed and leaned his head back against the bed, closing his eyes tiredly. He would just go with the flow. "I wouldn't expect you to understand since you have such a huge family, but my sister is all I have left of my own. Our parents died when I was too young to even remember them, so you could say my sister is also my mother. Early on she was diagnosed with some sort of lung disease, so we always knew she wouldn't have a long life and definitely wouldn't be able to give birth. Too much for the body to handle."
Sougo took in a long breath before proceeding, needing to calm himself for the next part. "The first time she collapsed was four years ago. After that, the time she spent comatose gradually got longer with each episode, and the doctor suspected that her brain had started suffering from the malfunctioning lungs. She would sometimes cough up blood, as well. I became paranoid, knowing that she wouldn't last much longer and that the next episode might be her last, so I started to make sure I would definitely be there if something happened. The second I heard she had had an episode all I could think of was getting to her in time. There was no room for hesitation or second thoughts. The thought of dragging you with me came to me only after Hijikata asked me about your whereabouts."
He chanced a look at Kagura at that point, only to see her shocked and crying, not making any effort to wipe the tears running down her face as she stared at him. Seeing her like that caused his stomach to twist painfully, but he knew he wouldn't have any tears left to cry himself. Instead, he gave her a dreary smile. "If you can imagine a situation where the only relative you have ever known is about to die and you can't do a damn thing to help her, we might as well leave this spat behind us and start thinking of ways to make my sister happy enough to stay with us for a few more years. The doctor promised five at most."
Kagura's eyes widened at his words. "Five...?" she squeaked, horrified at the news.
"At most," Sougo clarified. "There's no guarantee she'll be around for even two," he added, and was irritated by the way his throat constricted and caused his voice to come out choked at the end.
Kagura crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing him tightly against herself. "I-I guess the wedding would be first. She's been looking forward to that," she sobbed into his neck.
He had been fine on his own. He had never needed anyone to comfort him when things got bad. Now, Sougo couldn't be more thankful for Kagura's presence as he slowly brought his own arms around her. "Yeah, that would be a good start," he murmured, painfully conscious of the way his voice wavered.
Kagura held him tighter, practically sitting in his lap as she tried to get as close as possible. "Then you'll take the responsibilities of ruling and she gets to relax all she wants."
He held her tighter as well.
"And she'll get all the nieces and nephews she can get."
He pressed his face in her hair as he felt his eyes water painfully for the first time in years.
"We'll make her so happy she has no choice but to stay with us."
There! No more gloomy and depressing chapters (I hope)! I want to get back to the peaceful days...
Thank you very much for reading!
~poakkis
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PPS. It's currently 3.19 AM, so please ignore spelling or grammar mistakes.