AN: Oh boy, last chapter for this story! I'll keep it short and sweet, so here come the review replies:
EmilyRose727: I'm glad you liked that part lol I was smiling the whole time I wrote it XD
MoonbornWalker: Good, I thought it'd be pretty interesting to delve into Lilly's head with all that she's gone through, so thanks!
Rebloxic: I thought you'd like it :D
Clemmyclue19: There is NO such thing as too much Jilly lol! This chapter's gonna be a lot of tying up loose ends, but there may be some revelations and things that you might not expect – well, hopefully anyways. Thanks again for all the reviews!
VictoriaSW: I think you've had a feels overdose! You should probably get that checked out or something lol XD
Last thing, the sentences that are bolded and italicized like this will be lyrics from the song "Be Not So Fearful". It played near the end of season 4 in the TV show, and I think it works well here.
Clem's POV
"Umm… hi," Jane awkwardly waves as Ellie and Riley see the three of us walk into their room. I figured that they'd react like this; frightened and wondering why I'd be willing to introduce them after they had invaded our home. I'm still kind of wondering that myself, actually. "Soooo… my name's Jane, and this is Lilly. Who are you guys?"
When they look worriedly over at me, I nod with a small, reassuring smile. "It's alright," I encourage, sitting on the bed beside the two of them. "They won't bite… well, Lilly might, but I'm pretty sure Jane's clean."
"You suck," Lilly rolls her eyes, sticking her tongue out at me playfully as she bends down in front of us.
Seeing that neither of the kids are gonna say anything first, I decide to make introductions myself. "Jane, Lilly, meet Ellie and Riley. We've been together for just a little while."
Lilly holds out a hand, but the kids just stare at her as if she's some kind of alien from outer space. I can't say I blame them – I'd probably be scared of strangers after what just happened too.
It'll take some getting used to, but if they can get along with me so soon after meeting me, I've got little doubt that it'll be the same way with Jane and Lilly.
Or, you know, I could be completely wrong about that.
"They're with me, guys. Trust me, they're okay," I attempt, smirking as Riley nervously shakes Lilly's hand; probably expecting to get taken away or something. Ellie hides behind my right shoulder in hesitation as usual, and it takes a little coaxing from me for the girl to slowly pop her head out.
Jane, seeing this, decides to go with a different approach as she puts her hand in her pocket.
"You know, if it weren't for the two of you," she remarks, motioning to Ellie and Riley separately, "I probably wouldn't even be here. You guys saved my ass last night, you know that?"
Giggling at the word "ass", Ellie sits on the edge of the bed as I roll my eyes. Why she has such a fascination with swearing I will never know, but at least she's not acting quite as shy as she was before. We're making progress here, people!
However, continuing to look at Jane and Lilly – especially their injuries – makes me feel more guilty in the pit of my stomach. It twists and turns; wrenching around inside of me as I keep thinking about last night's events over and over again.
In case you were wondering… well, here's the truth.
I lied to them – Jane and Lilly, just a little while ago. Right to their faces, and I could tell that they were just trying to make me feel better when I asked how she got shot.
I'm fully aware that it was me, and I didn't admit to it.
Maybe I'm a coward; a lowly asshole who wouldn't openly fess up to her mistakes and lied about it to avoid the punishment. In some sense that's true, but… it's complicated, too. I genuinely panicked there when I saw Lilly and Jane for the first time in… what's it been, months now? Everything in my head was telling me they were fake, and that I had to lash out and eliminate them so that I wouldn't have to be tormented by them any longer.
I can't admit to them about my issues… what'll that say about me? Will they put me down like so many others; calling me crazy and unfit to live in this world anymore? Would they even believe me if I told them about it? Would they just say that I was making up excuses for trying to kill both of them?
In my opinion, I'm almost assured that every answer will be yes. Yes, she's lost her mind and she isn't safe enough to be around. Ellie, Riley and Bo already think I'm nuts, I've seen it on their faces. I thought for sure that this would just go away like it did before – I'm back with the people I really care about, and everything's settled down for the most part.
There haven't been any episodes yet this morning, so I'm sure that this'll just go away or something. It has to… doesn't it?
"Clem?" Jane asks, pulling me out of my own head as I look up to meet her concerned gaze.
"Huh? What's up?"
"I asked if you needed any help around here," she repeats, looking genuinely ashamed about the attack. Lilly does as well. "Or would that be… too soon?"
"Umm…" I say dumbly, trying to think of what it is I was supposed to be doing today. I'd imagine that Bo would want us to have some sort of funeral for those we lost – the space center seems so much emptier than it usually is, even though there's still a handful of people who survived besides us. "…we should probably go and see Bo about getting stuff running again. James… he's probably gonna need some space. He probably wants to bury Debbie someplace…"
I don't make direct eye contact, but I notice Lilly shuffle a little bit uncomfortably at the mention of Debbie. I'm assuming she figured out who that was, but in order to keep up appearances I need to act like I don't know that Lilly killed her. This could be some very delicate and dangerous information, and if it somehow gets to James… yikes. That's one situation I don't want to have - ever. No, this can't get out.
"You two ready?" I ask my two charges, who both nod as each of them grasp onto my hands. When Jane looks at me questioningly, I give her a shrug before exiting the room. "We're a team now, just like you and I were before."
"I can see that," she comments, looking slightly proud as we wander down the hallway. That's odd – usually Jane would be against me getting too attached to people, especially with kids as young as Ellie and Riley. But now it's like there's an understanding between us – I'm capable enough to make my own decisions, and I can live with the consequences.
I can only hope that I live up to these expectations.
Be not so nervous, be not so frail…
…
"Fuck no!" James practically roars, instantly shaking the idea off as he angrily shakes his head. Bo doesn't seem too happy about it either. "Have you lost your fucking mind, Clementine?! We can't let them stay here! They're lucky that we actually let them live, let alone rest up for a night! They need to get out of here right NOW!"
Lilly looks as though she's about to explode and say something she may regret, but I put a hand up and shake my head in her direction. It's really not worth it for her to try – saying anything is only gonna piss him off even more. It'd be better coming from someone who was on the same side as he was at one point.
We're all sitting in the board room just outside the laboratory – James, Bo, Lilly, Jane, Tommy, Ellie, Riley and I. Turns out there were only a handful of people left over from last night other than us, and they decided to pack up and leave after everything had died down. I hope they know what they're doing out there… taking your chances out on the road isn't exactly a safe bet these days.
"They didn't want to attack us! Lilly and Jane are my friends – they'd never have tried to hurt us if they knew I was here! I don't think Tommy would either!" I reason, watching as Bo glances at them with doubt. "We're short people enough as it is! Why would you kick them out when they can help around here? They can shoot better than any of us, and they'd know how to protect this place! There's nobody I trust more than them!"
"So are we supposed to just forget about all of those people these monsters killed?! Should we just stomp our feet all over the families that got torn apart?! Is that what you're suggesting?!" James rages, though seemingly more calm than he was originally. At least he isn't giving me death glares this time around.
Although, I still don't think the yelling is much of an improvement.
"What about that thing you told me?" I ask Bo, looking at him with a pleading glance as I point to the symbol on his gun. "You said that we needed a group to help make things better. Why can't we start that now, Bo? This could be a chance to start over and get things back to the way they used to be!"
Slowly, James looks pointedly over his friend in exasperation. "You didn't…"
Sighing heavily, Bo's steadily look down to the table gives James all the confirmation he needs. Groaning, James stands up and smacks his hand along the table.
"It's not just something we can ignore…" I remark, realizing that this group thing could be the only possible reason that Jane and Lilly could stay. I must sound like a massive hypocrite right now, but frankly I don't really care. "We've all done bad stuff before, but everyone deserves a second chance. Please, Bo… don't turn them away…"
Ellie and Riley try to help out by giving the man a puppy dog look, but I don't think it'd go over well if I tried to do this as well. What kind of leader begs for things? Bo folds his hands together as he leans over the table; deep in thought as James paces the floor behind him. What if he says no? Who will I pick: the women who helped keep me alive for so long and whom I've spent so much time with in the past, or the kids and friends here that I have a responsibility for? I don't want to have to make that choice, not yet!
However, it seems that I won't have to decide that today, as Bo sighs before running his hands through his hair.
I'm taking that as a yes.
"…fine."
"You can't do that – don't pull this over me, Bo!" James warns, a threatening tone in his voice as he glares behind his glasses. "These people invaded our home and killed our loved ones! The answer's not to invite them in – we should kick them to the curb and lock the door behind them!"
"This is an opportunity here, James. You need to see that," Bo explains as he pushes his chair back away from the table. "We've needed this for two damn years – there's not gonna be another chance! You can further along your research, and we can finally stop pretending like things are normal out there! We need a safe community, and obviously what we had wasn't gonna cut it!"
Inside, I'm fuming that they'd have the audacity to even suggest continuing the research knowing what it entails, but I keep my mouth firmly shut. One victory is better than none at all.
Jane, Lilly and Tommy look incredibly confused.
"What are y'all talking about? Opportunity for what?" Tommy asks as Bo pulls out a large box of some kind and places it carefully on the table.
Reaching inside, Bo pulls out a handful of small, metal pendants with that same odd symbol that I had seen earlier. Placing the medallion around my neck, I do the same for the kids as they look at the things as if they're some kind of treasure. Jane looks bored with hers, and Lilly looks as though she's about to toss hers into the garbage. Great start already, isn't it?
"What the fuck are these for?" Lilly asks, nobody really shushing her even though there Ellie and Riley are still in the room. They've probably heard enough swear words already to fill a small dictionary.
"Grabbed them at a military camp nearby, and I figured they'd be like a collector's item or something," Bo shrugs before looking over at me. "Clem already knows about this… but we've been trying to form a small coalition of sorts. It's called the Fireflies, and our goal would be to try and set society back to normal. We've been working on a cure to the infection that grows in the brain, but we haven't had the resources or firepower necessary to pull it off."
"So… what do you say guys?" I ask hopefully, watching as Jane and Lilly gently place their medals on the table. "Will you help us out? Do you want to join the group?"
Frowning slightly, Lilly huffs out a sigh as Jane leans back in the chair quietly. Finally, after about ten seconds or so of not saying anything, Lilly shakes her head in disgust.
"What the hell are you people thinking?" she asks quietly before looking over at me. "You know better than this, Clem! We're survivors, not miracle workers! Trying to save the world is pointless! It can't be done! We're not responsible for every single person we come across!"
"Why am I not surprised by that answer?" James remarks off-handedly, causing Lilly to glare fiercely at him.
"Listen up here, jackass! I don't know what kind of bullshit you've been feeding her, but it stops here! You people are idealists – you've got your fucking heads up in the clouds!"
Thus sparks a heated debate once again between Lilly, Jane, Bo and James as they start to hash it out on who's right or wrong. Tommy seems to be pondering the idea over, nodding practically every time that Bo speaks. Ellie and Riley are just watching the exchange silently, and it'd almost be funny seeing their eyes dart back and forth if it weren't for the subject matter.
I should've figured this would happen. In a way, I had kind of been abandoning the stuff that Jane and Lilly had taught me before – not to trust anyone, not to stay in big groups of strangers, always keep your guard up, and always, ALWAYS know your limits.
But maybe it's just me growing up, but it sounds a whole lot like these people are trying to control what I do! Jane drilled that lesson about living my own life into my head, too!
Well, now it's about to be put into use.
"STOP IT! EVERYONE SHUT UP!" I shout, causing everyone to glance over my way as I raise my voice. "Look, whether we like it or not, this is gonna happen! I don't want to have to deal with walkers anymore, and if there's a chance that we can make a difference out here… then why wouldn't we try, right? There's nothing wrong with that!"
"Clem, you can't be – "
"No, Lilly… not this time," I shake my head, silencing her as I hold out my medallion. "They've been working on something that might be able to save us… Even though it's still kind of bad, and I might not have agreed with them at the start. We need this to work, or else… we're all fucked!"
After my little tirade, Bo nods his head in approval as he looks over to where James was sitting, but at some point he must've left the room when we didn't notice. Running a hand over his tired face, the grizzled man leans back in the chair expectantly. "So… is that it then? Are we finally doing this?"
"…I'm in," Tommy decides firmly, getting an eye roll from Lilly. "If it's like y'all say, that we can really bring things back to normal and build a community again, then I'd be crazy not to try. Sure, I'll be a Firefly."
As I look over to the girls with a smirk, I chuckle as they excitedly nod their heads in approval. If it means that they get to wear these cool-looking pendant things, then they'll climb aboard for sure.
"I wanna be a Firefly!" Riley giggles, flying her hand through the air as she makes a whooshing sound. "They're pretty, and their butts glow in the dark! I wanna glow in the dark, too! Haha!"
And of course, anything that Riley wants to do, so does…
"Me too, me too!" Ellie claps her hands together; swinging her legs back and forth underneath the table. "We'll be like superheroes saving the world! Zoom! Riley, you can be my sidekick!"
"No way! You're the sidekick!"
"Nuh-uh! I thought of it first!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
Honestly, I wasn't worried about Ellie and Riley signing on. They won't understand what's going on in detail, but then again, I still don't think they know what those things are that prowl outside – and they almost got eaten by them, too! Being able to sleep at night while not having to worry about walkers would be possibly the greatest cure that's ever been created.
Now, here come the hard nuts to crack – Jane and Lilly.
Lilly's still stubbornly sitting back in her chair; seemingly set in her ways, but Jane unfortunately makes eye contact with me as she groans quietly.
"Please?" I ask, putting a sad smile on in the hopes that I can swing her opinion. "I don't want you to have to leave again… not after you just got here! We're supposed to do things together, remember?"
Jane studies my face for a good long while, probably trying to judge on how committed I am to this. I didn't get brainwashed here – it was my decision, and mine alone. After all, I was the one who brought up the Fireflies just now anyways, so that's gotta count for something!
After a little bit longer, Jane bites her lip before turning to Lilly and shrugging her shoulders.
"Are you serious?" Lilly complains before looking over at me and burying her face in her palms. With an aggravated groan, the stubborn woman reluctantly nods as I excitedly laugh and run over behind the two of them; hugging their necks tightly as Jane smiles slightly.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I exclaim, squeezing hard as I ruffle Lilly's hair up a little bit. "Jilly, you're the best! I knew you'd come around!"
"Are we just one person now? Is that what's going on?" Jane asks, getting a satisfied nod from me as she rolls her eyes. "Okay, well… I really hope you're right about this, Clem. I've still got some doubts about this whole thing but… I'll give it a shot. For now, at least."
"That's all I ask," I nod, letting go before returning to my seat. Don't get me wrong: despite appearances in the room, the mood is still extremely dark from all the chaos and destruction that came from last night. However, this is the first time in a while that I actually feel… kind of relieved, actually. I've spent quite a few nights here just hating the guts out of certain people for the experiments that they performed, and I kept going back and forth between staying or leaving.
Honestly, if it weren't for Ellie and Riley being in the picture now, too, I probably would've packed my bags and taken off.
"There's just one other thing we need to take care of," Bo interrupts, not bothering to hide his distaste of the newcomers. "This group won't work without a leader – we need somebody to be in charge of certain things. Somebody who's got their head on straight, and will make decisions that are best for the group. So… Clementine, are you up for it?"
The rest of the adults (as well as the kids) widen their eyes at the mere suggestion, and suddenly I'm feeling quite less confident than I was just a minute ago.
"I… I don't know…" I admit, feeling slightly self-conscious as I stare at the table. "Maybe I'm not really… ready for it."
"I don't know anyone more qualified than you, Clem," Bo says, not a lick of doubt in his voice as he folds his arms together. "I have full confidence in you."
"He's right, sweet pea."
No… no, this can't be happening! Not again! Why is this happening to me?! Jane and Lilly are back! I shouldn't be seeing or hearing Lee; sitting in James' unoccupied chair next to Bo with a big smile on his face.
"You're ready, Clementine. I know you can do this. Your friends do, too."
"We're all with you, darlin'," Kenny chimes in, though I can't see him physically.
"There ain't nobody more suited for it than you, kiddo," Luke agrees.
"Go for it, Clementine!" Duck.
"We believe in you!" Sarah.
Then comes Nick, Carley, Katjaa, Larry, Mark, Pete, Rebecca, Alvin, Molly, Omid, Christa, Chuck, Ben, Carlos, Bonnie, Mike… hell, even Carver says that I should agree, but he's more inclined to tell me that I should rule with an iron fist more than anything else.
Completely out of it, I manage to pull myself together before nodding in confirmation.
"Okay," I tell him, feeling more nervous than ever, "I'll do it. I'll lead the Fireflies."
Someone watches you, you will not fail…
…
James' POV
Sticking the shovel upright in the dirt, I wipe my forehead off before pulling out a lighter and a cigarette. After having supposedly "quit" smoking for three years straight, I lift the stick to my mouth, light it up and inhale that sweet, sweet nicotine.
Funny how these things work, isn't it? One little drug to make all of your problems seem less… problematic. Heather would've probably smacked me across the back of the head, snatched the cigarette out of my hand and stomped on it before giving me a lecture on the dangers of lung cancer.
And you know what? I'd quit all over again, just for her.
But she's not here, neither is Debbie. They're both buried together in the garden now instead of standing with me right now. Both were taken away from me, and both times they broke my heart by doing so. Huh… by the way I'm saying this, it almost seems like I'm blaming them for not being here; as if it was their own fault for getting killed.
How fucking selfish am I?
"She was proud of you, you know," Bo tells me, walking into the green room as he stands beside me. "I could see it when you guys looked at each other. She'd want you to be happy."
Looking down at the little monument or whatever you want to call it, I don't feel satisfied. It's hard to describe, but it's almost as if there's something missing.
"…I haven't done enough. I could've done more…"
"There was nothing you could do, James. It was out of your control," Bo tries to reassure, but I don't believe him. How would Bo know anything about this anyways?! It's not as if any of us were close! Bo was a resource; an asset! It was simply a mutual beneficial relationship, devoid of any closeness between us!
There I go, mumbling nonsense with big words… I tend to do that when I get frazzled. Still doesn't change how I feel, though.
"As if you'd really know what she wanted," I spit, interrupting him before he gets a chance to rebuttal. "Don't even try to justify yourself! I know that you've been using us from the start; hiding out here so that you wouldn't have to go back out there alone!"
"Now you're just throwing accusations around! Don't act like I didn't care about Debbie because I did!"
"Would you grow the fuck up already and drop the act? It's been getting old ever since you arrived here!" I say in annoyance, which causes him to straighten up a bit as he takes a step backwards.
He knows he's been caught.
"Honestly, Bo, how stupid do you think we were?" I question, puffing out a wave of smoke into his face as he coughs and swats the fumes away. "When you somehow miraculously show up to the space center with nobody else, immediately after the old watchman dies, did you think I wouldn't suspect something? You were willing to sacrifice your friends just so that you could have a warm bed! I could tell you were a bandit right from the very beginning…"
The two of us stand at a crossroads; with neither side giving in as we try and see which side will buckle and break first. I know that I should be grateful for what he's done since then, and that he's only trying to help… but if he really wanted to aid me, he'd just shut up and leave me alone for a little while. That's all that I ask – a little peace and quiet so that I could say goodbye to my loved ones.
But no, instead he has to let those murderous thugs into our home and basically slap Debbie's memory clean in the face. If she were still here, then I'm damn sure that she would never let this happen. She'd be way more forceful than me… but again, she's not here, and I'm left on my own to face the world.
"You can't give in now, James," Bo finally breaks the silence, looking back to the plaque that I had created for Heather so long ago. "Remember what they were striving for? To make this world a better place? Well this is our time now – we've created the Fireflies, and we need to start acting instead of just sitting in the dark. That means setting up colonies, convincing people to join our side and get the ball rolling. Without you, this will all have been for nothing."
"So you've put the weight of the world onto a twelve year old girl's shoulders, I'm assuming?" I remark, actually feeling slightly bad for the kid a little bit. "Despite what happened and what I may have said… I don't hate Clementine. She's a good kid, and she doesn't need to put up with everyone else's shit! Besides, why would you put her in charge anyways? She knows what we were up to!"
"…I'm starting to convince her."
Widening my eyes, I shake my head in complete wonder. Why do I find that incredibly difficult to believe? Somebody's opinions, morals and values can't be completely shaken and flipped upside down that quickly. It takes time – in some cases years – for people's perspectives to be changed. It's not a process that happens overnight.
"That was your plan all along," I point out, calling him out on his little scheme. "You've been buttering Clementine up on purpose, haven't you? You've been feeding her all of this bullshit about saving the world and whatnot; forcing her to be a scapegoat and take responsibility because you didn't want to!"
Silencing me with a hand in the air, Bo rubs his temples before conceding and nodding in slight shame. "Yes, it's all true… everything you've said…" he admits, letting out a heavy sigh as he moves some dirt out of the way of the plaque. "But that doesn't change anything. I wasn't completely sure at the start, but that little girl is different, I can tell. Fine, I may have fucking planted some false shit into her head, but it doesn't matter! I don't want to live this way anymore, James! I hate seeing all of my friends and family fucking die left, right and center! I'm tired of having to live like a god damn hermit because I can't walk outside without risking my life! I'm sick of it, and you should be too!"
Giving the man a chance to breathe, I wait a few more seconds before asking what he's really here for.
"What else is there, Bo? What aren't you telling me?"
Glancing my way as I pull out the box of cigarettes again, Bo places his hands on his hips and sighs.
"…you have to keep going with your research," he explains, which surprises me after his original outbursts against it. "Studies, experiments on people, all of it. This won't work if we don't have your expertise on board. Regardless of the costs, we need to push this forward. Nobody else needs to know."
Chuckling as I re-open the box, I hand Bo a cigarette and light the stick up for both of ours. It seems as though I'm not the only one who might need a pick me up every now and again.
"Figured you'd come around," I comment, feeling him pat me on the shoulder in a friendly way. "To Debbie, then – may she rest in peace… We'll see you on the other side… one day…"
Be not so sorry for what you've done… You must forget them now, it's done…
Lilly's POV
This is so fucking dumb… why the hell am I so nervous right now?! I've been pacing back and forth in the same damn hallway for a good ten minutes straight, and my insides feel like they're getting twisted inside-out. I've been sweating buckets for a while, and the only part of me that isn't shaking is my – nope, now my head's shaking too. Shit… I don't think that I've ever been this anxious in my entire life.
Alright, everything has to be completely perfect – no screw-ups, no bullshit, no nothing. This should be easy, shouldn't it? I mean, typically it's a guy thing, but that's sexist. Why can't a woman do the same if they want to? It's not as if there are any rules against it!
Well, not anymore, at least. Heh… this is probably the only good thing that came out of the fucking apocalypse – same sex couples are allowed everywhere now.
I find myself biting my nails out of a force of habit until she walks out of the door; having just finished talking with Clementine in the board room. After that whole Firefly business was settled, I had excused myself earlier and told Jane to meet me out here for some more… personal business. At first she seemed concerned that I wanted to end our relationship, but I just smacked her on the shoulder and told her that that's not what I had in mind.
It's actually the furthest thing from ending our relationship.
Be not so nervous, be not so pale…
"Yo, Lillian! What's shaking, baby?" she hollers, giving me pistol fingers as she jogs to a halt beside me. "What's the hubbub, bub? Can we speed this up? I've got a golf game at four, you know!"
"Ha, I'm sure you do," I chuckle, finding myself a little less stressed out thanks to her. We might not get along all the time, but Jane has definitely become my rock in times of crisis. "But, uh… I kind of wanted to… you know, ask you something."
Cocking her head in confusion, Jane shrugs her shoulders; not getting what the hesitation is for. "Okayyyy… well, what's going on then?"
"…I love you, you know that right?" I ask, wanting to be absolutely certain of that fact before what happens next.
In response, Jane only grows more concerned as I put my hands in my pockets.
"Alright Lilly, enough. You're officially freaking me out. What the hell is going on?!"
Grasping the item firmly in my hand, I pull it out as I look at the object blankly; not showing much emotion as I start to explain myself. Now or never, I guess.
Someone watches you, you will not leave the rails…
"This was my mother's originally. I took it off of my Dad after he died… kept it ever since," I tell her, twirling the thing around in my hand. The item shimmers as the light from a nearby window sparkles off of its surface, and somehow it makes this moment all the more special. "It's kind of silly, don't you think? I mean, what good is a ring if it's just sitting in my pocket all day?"
"You're bullshitting me… you're not serious!" Jane gasps, widening her eyes as she stares at me in shock.
Nodding my head with a small smile, I stop twirling the ring around and set it firmly in the palm of my hand. "No more pretending – straight to the point, as we always are," I sigh, trying to figure out what to do next.
How the hell is this supposed to go again? Right knee to the floor, left one bent forward… got it. Now I just hold my arm out like this, and…
"This is probably corny as shit, but… umm…" I stutter, finding it slightly hard to breathe all of a sudden. Did somebody crank up the heat in here? "Jane… we might not have everything that people usually get for a wedding or anything, but… I don't really care. I love you, and that's really all there is to it. So Jane… will you marry me?"
In response, Jane attacks me and tackles me roughly to the floor.
Yeah, you heard right. She smacks my shoulders again and again as she backs me up to the side of the wall, before kissing me on the lips like never before.
"…yes, you fucking idiot…" she breathes in between, smiling like a crazy person as she attacks my lips once again.
Well… that's certainly one way to propose to someone, now isn't it?
And when you wake up, you'll find that you can run…
Clem's POV
"You feelin' up for this?" Tommy asks me gently, causing me to smirk and shrug my shoulders as I run my hand along the smooth surface of the wooden desk. We're the only two left in the room, as everyone else had left about an hour ago. I'm not too worried about Jane and Lilly, since they're more than capable of taking care of themselves.
But the kids? I've still got some doubts.
"Is anyone really?" I question, not entirely sure that I'm up to the task. It's a big jump from just trying to survive out in the world. "I guess that I'll just have to wait and see. I hope things are gonna work out alright."
Nodding, Tommy scratches his shaggy beard as he seems to get lost in thought. "This right here's probably the most hope that I've had in a good long while, if what y'all said about working on a cure is true," he comments, leaning back in the chair as he sighs. "It's a shame that my brother couldn't see things the same way."
Feeling a little bit sad that the guy lost his family, I frown sympathetically as I decide to open up a little bit. Tommy seems like a pretty stand-up guy.
"I lost my family, too," I explain, going into the same story that I told Luke back at the cabin over a year ago. I miss that big lug a lot sometimes…
"Wow… that's a tough deal, for sure," Tommy empathises, folding his hands together as he studies my face. "Can't imagine losing people that way… I mean, sure I lost my niece, Sarah, and everything… but that hit my brother like a wall of bricks."
"…what's his name?" I ask quietly, hopefully not bringing up something bad to mind.
Looking over at me wistfully, Tommy breathes out through his nose before shutting his eyes closed. "Joel… his name's Joel, and I haven't seen him in a long time."
"He's still… alive?" I question, getting a nod from the man. "Well… should we go look for him? Do you know where he might be?"
As the regret sprays like paint upon his face, I immediately hold back on suggesting that maybe this Joel character could join us as a Firefly. I really shouldn't be trying to get in on family matters, especially with people whom I've just met.
"…my last words to him… were that I never wanted to see his face again."
"Oh…" I remark quietly, feeling a little bit smaller as I rub my arm in discomfort. "I'm… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."
Shaking his head, Tommy shakes the thought off as he smiles lightly and goes to stand up; saying something about needing some air. After he exits the board room, leaving me by myself in the eerily quiet area, I decide to go check up on Ellie and Riley.
Hopefully they haven't caused too much trouble down in the basement.
Be not so fearful… be not so pale…
Descending the staircase to the basement level, I begin to think about all that the leadership title is going to entail. Will I have to make big-time decisions that will affect the whole group? What kinds of decisions will those be? Will I be able to get the job done without sacrificing everything that I've stood for?
But most importantly… am I really the right choice? I mean, even though I hate being treated like a child after all that's happened, I'm still just twelve years old! I wouldn't even be old enough to drive – oh wait, that already happened, didn't it? Okay then… I'm far too young to drink – shit, did that too.
Shoot a gun? Check.
Live on my own? Covered that, damn…
Alright, fine! I've done a whole lot of grown-up things over the past couple of years and still come out on the other side, but this thing going on inside my head… that can't be normal. If I truly want to be a leader that people can look up to, then I'm gonna have to face this problem on my own. No asking for help – I have to be completely independent and work this out myself.
I can't afford to look weak in front of everyone else…
Be not so sorry for what you've done…
That's odd. I would've expected to hear Ellie and Riley giggling down here, or at least seen them running around by now. What's going on, I wonder?
Hmm… maybe they're playing hide and seek or something. I used to love playing that with Duck and Ben back at the motor-inn.
"Hello?" I shout, my voice echoing off the cement walls as I look over to where our firing range was held earlier this week. Maybe if we had done this earlier, then they would've been better prepared and more capable of defending themselves before their time came.
Then again, that might've meant that Jane and Lilly would've been taken away from me too. It's a pretty crappy situation either way.
"…what do you want, Lee?" I sigh, watching as he leans against the pillar in concern. However, he doesn't say anything this time; just points behind him with a sad frown as I follow his directions.
Passing right through the man that was as close to a second father as I'd ever hope to have, I come to an abrupt stop as my heart falls to my stomach.
It's Ellie, Riley… and a dead walker. There are fresh blood stains on the ground beside them.
Rushing over to them and bending down, I start to panic as their tears stain both of their cheeks. They're absolutely terrified.
As they should be… Riley's bite is on her hand. Ellie's got a big one right on her forearm.
"Oh god…" I breathe out, trying to keep it together as a few tears of my own silently release.
"It… it was scary! And this hurts…" Riley comments, not realizing what's going to happen to the two of them. "W-we were just playing tag, but then that scary guy came out and bit us! We k-killed it with the knife thingy…"
Glancing over, I indeed see the pocket knife resting itself in the walker's brain; all bloody and crimson as I choke back a sob that gets caught in my throat.
This can't be happening… not again… I already failed AJ… God, why, damn it?! WHY?! WHY THEM?!
"Is something… bad gonna happen?" Ellie asks timidly, whimpering in pain as she accidentally touches her bite wound. "What… what's gonna happen to us?! Clementine?! I… I don't want this to happen…"
That does it. I break down as the sobs overtake my body. My pistol's in my pocket, but… I don't know if I have the strength to do it this time around. If this is the kind of shit that I'll have to do as the leader of the Fireflies, then I'm not so sure that I can handle it. I'm too weak – this is absolute torture.
The only thing that I can do… is try and make their last day a little less painful.
"…how about we spend the rest of the day down here, okay? I'll… tell you whatever stories you like," I suggest, my eyes red-rimmed and glossy as I sit against the pillar. The two girls sit on either side of me; not understanding that they're gonna die.
I want to be there with them until the end.
"Have… have I ever told you about a guy named Lee?" I ask the, leaning my head back as they shake their heads. "Well… he looked after me when I was around your age. He kept me safe, taught me how to shoot a gun and keep my hair short…"
"Just like you?" Ellie asks as Riley leans in closer to my shoulder. God damn it… I've failed them, and this time there's no going back.
"I'll be right here," Lee tells me, sitting across from us as he crosses his legs with a sad smile.
"Yeah… just like me," I answer with a sigh, for once not caring that I'm seeing imaginary people. This time it's actually pretty comforting. "He's right here, actually. He's always with me… no matter where I go. Just like I'll always be… with you."
I go into more detail about our adventures, but I generally leave out most of the bad stuff that happened over the course of it all. I want their last moments to be filled with happy memories; not dark, depressing stuff. I don't want them to be sad on their last days on Earth.
There's enough sadness in the world already.
AN: Thank you so much for reading :) Hopefully you guys are as happy with how it turned out as I am, and I'll be sure to come up with new ideas when I can think of some. This isn't the end for me, and maybe I'll even decide to come back to this sometime. Not yet though, I'd need to see if it's worth it or not.
Alright, that's it from me, my peeps! Have a spectacular day!
Leafs Nation