Okay People time for another chapter of this Christmas story thing. Any story or persons mentioned, and Smash Brothers In General Dosen't belong to me. I just make these stories for fun. And I'm specfically making this one to drum up some Christmas reviews to read and review people, or else you know what will happen.
"Another Generic Smash Brothers Christmas Story Aka The Twelve Nights Of Smashmas, Part Two"
By DianaGohan.
In A Store Several blocks away from the Mansion (which apparently was floating in the middle of a giant city, or at least it is in this story if not any other story ever) we could see several of the smashers (Pokemon Trainer and his Pokemon, Bowser, Ganondorf, and King Dedede) as a couple ahead of them was arguing.
"You never touch me anymore!" Yelled the woman pointing at the guy. "Especially down there."
He groaned. "Is this really something we should be talking about, in the middle of a store!"
"See, there you go again, telling me when I can or can't yell! If I feel like yelling in the middle of the store I should be able to yell in the middle of the store."
"By that logic, if I feel like smacking you in the face, I should be able to. But apparently that'd be WRONG."
She gasped. "How could you say something like that?"
"Hey you're the one whose talking about discussing our sex life in the midst of a bunch of random strangers so I figured it was okay to be open about what I feel as well."
"No, that's different" she said crossing her arms. "See by disucssing our sex life we're steadily building on our relationship-"
"What relationship? I met you two nights ago when we were drunk at a holiday party and you haven't left me alone since."
"Well that's because we're married, remember?" She then held out her hand showing a ring. "Maybe if you didn't want to get married you shouldn't of tried getting tanked in Vegas."
"This isn't vegas you stupid bitch, and you're the one who suggested it remember?"
"Well I thought you were the one, but clearly you aren't, except down there-"
"Oh that is it!" He then smacked her hard in the face as she gasped. "You shut up before I shut you up!"
"Shut this up!" She then punched him hard in the face as the two looked at each other angrily as the guy pushed the girl into the corner of the room as they started brawling at a furious rate.
Bowser chuckle at the couple. "Heh heh, domestic violence amuses the king of all Koopas. Perhaps I'll put the The-3-Sueslayers as one of my creative consultants in my movie if he can come up with ideas like this."
"How do you reckon that was his?" Dedede asked. "They ain't squabbling about wanting a divorce-"
"I want a divorce!" Screamed the woman.
"Over your dead body... which will soon be the case!" Yelled out the man.
Dedede thought for a second. "Well... they ain't doing it in front of the line-"
The man then smacked the woman in front of them. "I'm going to divorce you so fast your head will spin, right off your body."
"Not if I rip off something worse!" She then punched him hard in the balls as they were shown fighting in front of the team.
Squirtle looked at this. "I don't know what's sadder. The fact that's a far more realisitic coupling then anything our universe could ever come up with, or that random guy and girl is a far better fighter then trainer."
"Hey I am too a good fighter!" Trainer said holding up his arm. "Why in that Werehog story I-"
Ivysaur smacks him in the face with his vine. "No spoilers, stupid."
"Hey you can't hit me like that!" The trainer whined. "What would the manager say?"
Charizard rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah like the manager would really care about how much we treat you."
"Well actually I do." The group then looked to see a serious man working the front of the store crossing his arms. "You can't keep treating him badly you know, you have to be a TEAM."
"Oh my god, it's fanfic author and intrsospective critiquer Alex Warlorn" Ganodnorf cried out as everyone looked at him. "Uh I mean the lord of all evil will enslave you like he does everyone else-"
"Yeah right Ganonshouldn'tofstolecaptainfalcon'smove" Alex Warlorn said looking around. "Hey if you guys are doing The-3-Sueslayers idea, what about mine of going home to the holidays to see your friends and family?"
"We're doing that in the epilogue-" The trainer started to say before being vine smacked again.
"Seriously, no spoilers!" Ivysaur stated.
"And seriously no bagging on the trainer" Alex Warlorn said holding out his hand. "Or else I'll use my special guest powers on you."
"Oh yeah, like what?" Ivysaur asked. Alex Warlonr's eyes glowed darkly for a second and pointed at him as Ivysaur fell into a train. "Must... be nicer to trainer and... read all of.... "Perceptions Unseen" and... leave detailed reviews for it like... it was "Night Of The Werehog: Brawl Edition" only... better" Ivysaur said walking off.
"Well enough pointless injoking" Alex Warlorn said holding out his hand. "What brings you guys to the pet store?" We then saw there were animals all around the group barking and chirping."
"Some pet store" Ganondorf said pointing over at a cage. "This pig isn't even remotley evil, unlike me, the master of darkness, so he is ultimatley inferior."
"Look I'm not running a pet store in this one and only store just for you to critque my animals" Alex pointed out.
"Then why y'all running this here pet store?" Dedede asked.
"Probably because they couldn't get Patrick Swazye" Pichu said sticking his head in as everyone starred at him. "You know... from Clerks the Animated series... in the third episode... that had the parody of outbreak in it-"
"Hey he said no poitnless injoking!" Squirte yelled as Pichu quickly ran out.
"Hey, isn't he suppose to be one of those evil symbols who is trying to destroy you guys or something?" Alex asked.
"Yeah they uh really didn't tell us anything about that" Squirtle admitted. "Except that it will be explained in future chapters of Smashing Something New Every Day, whenever THOSE come out."
"Well hey so long as she updates Night Of The Werehog regularly for awhile I'll be good" Alex held out his hand. "That's the reason I took this job: to make sure that came out."
"Yeah that's the reason we're here too" Squirtle admitted. "Also we kind of need two turtlesdoves."
"But you guys ARE turtles" Alex said pointing to Squirtle and Bowser. "Just paint yourself with dove wings and I'm sure it will count."
Bowser shook his head. "Oh no, I'm not getting stuck in the mansion with Master Hand. The King of Koopas heard he was doing awful, disgusting things that are even beneath me."
In the mansion Master Hand is shown watching TV as he looked over at Falco. "You see Falco in order to create the best Christmas stories ever, we must study the best Christmas stories ever."
"You're watching The Santa Claus 3: The Escape Claus!" Falco whined. "Shouldn't even you know that Best and Holiday and Tim Allen don't go together!"
"Shhh, Santa's about to say somethign funny" Master Hand then waited a few minutes. "Oh uh guess that wasn't a joke. Something this movie dosen't seem to have actually.
"Gee, you think?" Falco asked sarcastically.
"Yeah, maybe we should stop watching this."
"Finally a GOOD idea" Falco cried out as Master hand then pressed a button the remote as Falco gasped. "Wait... this is... this is...."
"No it's not this is, it's the Night B4 Christmas" Master Hand said looking at poorly animated black elves attempting to rap. "If this dosen't get you in the hoiday spirit, then nothing will."
Falco narrowed his eyes. "Remember when I said I was going to kill you? Now I'm going to do it really, really painfully."
"Good for you" Master Hand said not paying attention as he was shown watching the TV.
Back at the pet store Alex shuttered a bit. "Yeah I wouldn't wish that on anyone except people who make really stupid fan fics."
"While you're wishing it on about at least 30 percent of the people this board, think we could get some turtledoves?" Squirtle asked.
"Let me see here" Alex then looked around and looked in a bag. "Sorry I only have some cockatoos."
"Heh heh, cock...atoos" Charizard said laughing some as squirtle rolled his eyes. "What, it's funny."
"If you're like 8 years old" Squirtle pointed out.
"Not the 8 year old who are suppose to be watching our stuff" Charizard reminded him.
"Sorry guys, looks like you're goign to just have to use some winged Koopas and call it a turtle dove" Alex pointed out.
"Yeah we can't" The trainer said. "See the Koopa are..." squirtle looked at him annoyed. "Oh yeah that's one of those spoiling things we can't talk about now."
"Well dang it, we'll just have to go and take some turtles here and call them there turtle doves" Dedede said going over to a display of turtles and smiling. "Yeah put a dang angel costume on it and those will do."
"Great, that will be 50 Dollars" Alex said.
Dedede chuckled. 'Son, you think I'm going to pay for these there things?" He then smashed the display in with his hammer. "Consider this your gift to me."
"Uh I don't give presents to fictional characters."
"Well you may as well start now" The turtles then jumped on Dedede and started chomping on him as he moaned in pain. "Aw dang, you turtles almost as plum annoying as that puffball" Dedede said running out of the store trying to knock the turtles off him.
"Well another satisfied customer" Alex said looknig around. "Oh yeah, you guys are the only people who came in here, and he wasn't satisifed at all."
"Well hey anything that helps find these ridicolous things all the sooner means the lord of all evil can go back to what he does best" Ganondorf said holding out his sword. "Killing swordsman."
"Yeah why don't you just go back to spending time with TwinRova like I said you should do?" Alex said as Ganodorf then walked out.
"Well I best be off to get the next part of my script done" Bowser said holding up a piece of paper. "It shall contain an even more epic battle of me crushing the plumber then they had in Star Wars Episode III."
"That movie sucked" Squirtle stated.
"Hey I liked the prequals" Alex Warlorn stated.
"Odd, I thought you had good taste" Alex Warlon then gave Squirtle the stare he gave Ivysaur. "Must be... nice to trainer and... Read "Admants Of The Vicarious Maiden cause... Ash/Misty is such a good pairing". Squirtle then ran out hypnotized.
"Wow I loose only slightly more pokemon just giving them away then them being hypnotized away" the trainer admitted as he and Bowser walked out.
Alex looked to see Charizard still there. "Why are you still here? You want to get hypnotized into being nice and reading one of my awesome old stories as well?"
"No, just want to do this" he then went over to the corner to see that the couple was still fighting.
"I'm going to divorce you so bad our kids will feel it in a Foster house three states away" the woman said hitting the man.
"I'm going to divorce you so bad you'll be crying tears of bloody skany failure out of every orfaice on your body!" The man said hitting the woman. Charizard then hit the two with a flamethrower as they screamed in pain.
"Ha, I'm flaming The-3-Sueslayers dumb idea! Let's see them try and do something about it." Suddenly a hyper little sister, a half elfe nurse, a male and female represntation of CPU players, Two mute kids and a grandmother walked in looking angry at Charizard. "Uh... this was Diana's idea!" He screamed out. Quickly flying away through a hole he made in the sky.
"... Chapter 18 better be worth this crap" Alex mumbled to himself as the camera panned out of the store.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Well hope you enjoyed and for those of you included, weren't offended by that. I'll keep having cameos and taking suggestions for all those who offer it and remember to keep reviewing. You know how much I desperatley need them. And how much you desperatley want to see other stuff of mine get made.