To Bring a Smile:

U-No-Poo

SedMai

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter and Batman characters rights and properties goes to JK Rowling and Warner Bros Pictures/ DC Comics. No money is being made in the creation of this story. It's sole purpose is for poorly written entertainment. All other characters are fictional.

((((((SedMai))))))

Insecurities are part of the human psyche. People by their very nature may have a few insecurities they may feel about themselves. Everybody growing up has had something that they do not like. Whether it's the way they look or how their body is developing. Maybe it's the scars they hide to keep others from finding out about their home life. Ashamed how weak they were to have allowed it to continue. Eventually most kids going through their teenage years and staring their adult lives learn how to deal with these insecurities. Some though keep these insecurities with them into adulthood. These emotions can manifest themselves into an emotional scar that is much harder to cure. Everyone has insecurities, it's about taking those little nuances that make us different from one another and embracing them. By accepting who we are in the inside and out, can we truly be happy mentally and spiritually.

((((((SedMai))))))

Tonks emerged from the fireplace falling flat on her face. Cursing her clumsiness, Tonks removed the ashes from her robes with a wave of her wand. She wasn't in a very good mood. Remus like usual was brushing off her advances. Why couldn't he understand that she loved him for who he is, even with his furry little problem. Looking around Tonks was surprised by the change of the house. Light was streaming through an open window creating a nice ambiance to the room, quite different from what she remembered. Hearing voices coming from the entryway, Tonks moved quietly to try and figure out what was going on. Leaning against the wall, she could make out what was being said.

"You make me blush my Lady."

"Nonsense, you are The Lord Black, you shall bring greatness to our house once again. I want revenge for what that half breed scum did to our family."

"You're not the only one that wants revenge my Lady."

"Please call me Walburga my Lord. I'm no longer the Lady Black, and that dear girl you have next to you will make an excellent Lady Black."

Luna curtsied, "Thank you Lady Black, but Puddin and I are a long way away from something like that."

"Puddin'?"

"Well pudding is my favorite food, and you're my favorite person. I can't just call you pudding, that would be ridiculous, so Puddin'"

Harry thought about that, "Fine, but only in private."

Harry heard snickering coming, from the family room. "You know it's not nice to eavesdrop on other people's conversation." Harry watched as Tonks came into view, a smile on her face.

"So sorry puddin'."

Harry scowled, "Well if it isn't Call-Me-Nymphadora-and-Die-Tonks." He had a big smile on his face, knowing exactly what his comment was going to provoke.

Tonks narrowed her eyes, "You want to die,"

The three turned to the painting of Walburga as she went through her rant. "Tonks! GET OUT OF HERE HALFBREE.."

Harry held out his hand, "Please Walburga remember what I told you." Harry moves in front of Tonks and stared into her eyes. Tonk? That just wouldn't do, he would need to come up with something else. "Luna dear, what you think?"

Luna stepped beside Harry and grabbed Tonk's cheeks in her hands. Smashing her face together. She stared into the young metamorphmagus eyes, "So much pain. Always trying to please everyone with your special abilities. Trying to fit in, which just causes more pain. Wanting to just be loved for who you are."

Tonks stepped away not liking where this conversation was going, "Let's have some personal space."

Luna didn't even acknowledge the comment, "Ms. Clayface."

"What?! Now see here,"

"Excellent! Just like a piece of clay you could mould your face into anything you want. You see Walburga, this is proof that blood purity is bollocks. A half-blood, born to a Pureblood and muggle-born and has such an amazing ability." Harry took Tonks cheeks and pinched them. "Such a lovely lady with a special rare gift."

"Yes, I do see your point. I'm sorry Nymphadora dear, please forgive an old woman and her ways."

Tonks, didn't really know what to say. She swatted Harry's hands away who was grinning like a loon at her. "Yeah, I guess it's alright."

"Wonderful! I love a happy reunion. I will talk to you later Walburga." He bowed with exaggeration and flair.

"It's always a pleasure My Lord." The curtain fell over the painting.

Harry took Luna's hand as the two Tango'd into the study, plopping into a pair of chairs. Tonks just followed after the two nut jobs. She couldn't describe it any better. She thought Hermione was telling a tall tale, but seeing was believing. "Dora, Dora, Dora. What brings you to my humble abode?"

"The headmaster asked me to check up on you and to make sure you were okay."

Harry grabbed his heart, "I'm touched, that the Headmaster takes such an unhealthy interest in my well being." Harry put his hands to this mouth, he shall not let his mind go down that path.

Luna thought about that, "He does seem to have a lot of control over your life. He is just a headmaster correct."

Harry shrugged, "I think. I don't remember being related."

Tonks was confused by the conversation, "What are you two going on about?"

Looking over at Tonks, she knew her Puddin' wouldn't say anything. He was just too noble, or stubborn to mention anything. "Let me ask you question? Has there been any time before your seventh year an incident where you encountered a troll at our lovely school?"

Tonks thought about it, "No I don't think there was."

"A Cerebus?"

"No"

"A Basilisk?"

"Uh, No"

"Dementors?"

"Negative."

"Firebreathing Dragons?"

"Can't say I recall."

"Voldemort?"

"Definitely Not."

Tonk's looked into those silvery eyes and was a little unsettled. They appeared to be peering into her soul. Determining if she was worthy enough. She was an auror and older than these two teens. They shouldn't be able to unnerve her so easily. "Can you get to the point?"

Luna looked up to the ceiling, "Don't you think it's strange that all this had started taking place once Harry started school. I'm mean what kind of school allow their students to risk their lives?"

Tonks looked over at Harry who was whistling a tune, seeming not to be paying attention to their conversation. "I don't really know how to answer that one Luna. I'm mean sure it's sounds suspicious when you say it like that, but Hogwarts is the safest place in the world."

Springing up from his chair Harry went behind Tonks and whispered in her ear, "Only if your not named Harry Potter." Tonks turned around finding nobody behind her. Turning back, Harry was already standing next to Luna running his hands through her hair, "I'm very disappointed Auror Tonks, you're trained to look at a situation at all angles. You were raised in the muggle world, I know that Hermione blind trust in authorities is what keeps her from using any common sense, but you're an auror. Has working for ministry really turned off the ability to use that grey matter between your ears or is it joining the roasted chicken club."

"Winky!" Winky popped in front of Luna, "Roasted chicken tonight. PLEASE!"

Winky bowed, "And what type of pudding Mistress."

"Wow, good question? I mean they all are so yummy. Hmmm, tapioca. No, too tropical. Coconut? No, same problem. Banana? Banana is sooo good. Decisions, Decisions." Luna smiled happily at Winky, "A bread pudding would be excellent." Winky bowed again and popped away.

Tonks brain was starting to fry from being in the same room as these lunatics. Even if he had gone bonkers. Harry made some interesting points. "Let's say everything you said is true, what does it matter?" Tonks shivered at the smile Harry was giving her. Not even her insane aunt caused her to have such a feeling.

"I find it odd that the wizarding world should know of this little scar." Harry points to his forehead, "I'm mean, the four people who were there. Three of them died, or two died and one kinda bit the dust. So how did the rest of the world come to know of this little scar. How are there books written about little old me, and have a very good likeness of what my face looks like. If I was hidden from the world to stay protected wouldn't it have been better to never let this," Harry was waving over his face. "Get out in the public."

Tonks was getting frustrated. She didn't understand what Harry was talking about, and she was getting a little scared. "Again where is this going?"

Harry strolled around the room, "Ms. Tonks. Are you a knight?" Shaking his head, "No you're just a pawn. You see, there is a game being played, and you're not even aware you are playing. I was part of this game, but I see clearly now." Harry went in front of Tonks and said in a very grim voice, "I'm chaos personified now. I will not be following by anybody's else's rules, but my own."

Tonks stepped back, "Okay then, I have to get going. Remus should be by tomorrow. Dumbledore just wants you to stay here today while they get The Burrows wards more secured." Tonks left in a rush.

Standing up, Luna stood up resting her head on Harry's shoulder, "She's going to come around. I think you planted that seed in her head. Eventually it'll start to germinate."

There was much to do and so little time to do it. Harry needed his army of misfits. It was going to be a three way war and the other two wouldn't be aware of the new player until it was too late. He understood that his methods may seem a little extreme and not be everyone's cup of tea. It wasn't sadistic, he wasn't like he was going to go around and kill everyone that annoyed him. He paused, and thought about it. Almost everyone. They needed to set up a plan which mainly consisted of killing snake face and the wrinkly bastard as well. Then there was taking over the ministry and kill all the corrupted politicians. There was so much work to do. "Luna dear how would you like to go shopping?"

Hugging his arm, Luna looked into his beautiful green eyes, "Just as long as we can get Ice Cream after."

Harry kissed the top of her head, "Anything for you pumpkin."

((((((SedMai))))))

All common sense must leave a person once they're told about being a wizard/witch. Out of all of the years, he couldn't figure out why he never looked for a magical version of contact lenses. Now he had lenses that could see in the dark. Instantly his glasses found the nearest trash bin. That would make his night time play so much fun. Another item his little moon flower found was a shop that sold magical makeup. Once applied, all he had to do was point his wand at his face and say the passphrase. Voila, instant face. Another phrase would make it disappear. His pumpkin also bought some makeup so she could have some fun as well.

He really was enjoying his time, of course they had to wear hooded robes to hide their identity. It defeats the purpose of being incognito, if you are recognized as soon as you step foot in Diagon Alley. Making their way through the crowd, Harry and Luna finally came to their final stop. Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

The shop was just as over the top as the twins were. The front was a wizard coming out of the top of an extended window display. He had a hat in his hand that kept coming off the top of his head. Sitting on his head was a rabbit. Making their way inside, Harry was surprised how busy it was. A window sign caughts Harry's attention.

"WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO?

YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT U-NO-POO

THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!"

Harry was laughing so hard, Luna looked over and had a smile on her face as well. The two headed inside surprised by the whimsical charm the store had. Kids were climbing over the top of each other trying to get items off the shelf before they sold out. Luna guided the two through the crowd without any problem as they made their way to the front counter.

"Well Gred, we have a pair of mysterious customers."

"Righty oh Forge my boy."

"Now why would two people come in here hiding their identities?"

Harry revealed a little of himself with a wide smile, "Maybe because your best customer and silent partner doesn't want to be recognized."

Fred gulped as he looked at his brother, who was also looking at him a little worried. "Right honored guest. Verity! We need you to watch the store." A woman came to the front of the store, "Come on to the back room." The twins led them them through a door and up some stairs. "This is where the real magic of WWW begins."

If Harry could envision what a mad scientist lab would look like. The backroom of WWW would be it. In one corner cauldrons were bubbling. Different flasks of liquid were on a table. In another part of the room, various devices were lying around. Luna pulled back her hood, as the twins raised an eyebrow at Harry. She went over to the various devices and found a miniature mallet.

"Oh you do have a good eye, Ms. Lovegood. That's a prototype. We call it the Death Eater Mallet. Just press the rune in the middle of the stem."

Luna did as was instructed and gasped as the mallet grew in size. It easily was as long as he was tall and the mallet size was huge. "Mr. J, I love this. Can I have it. PLEASE!"

Harry gave the twins a looked that stated that she wasn't going to be denied her request. Fred didn't hesitate, "It's yours. We wouldn't have a store if it wasn't for dear Harrykins here."

George went to Harry and started leading him around the room. Showing him the various items they developed to combat Death Eaters. Peruvian Darkness Powder making everything in a surrounding area completely dark to shielding hats. Harry picked up an umbrella that the twins were really excited about.

"Excellent eye, this is a special project Fred and I have been working on. This isn't an ordinary umbrella. A button at the bottom causes a sleeping gas to be emitted from the tip, and.." George pressed another button causing the cloth of the umbrella to disappear and the spines to start spinning really fast. He held it over his head as it was spinning much faster. George started rising in the air. Pressing another button that caused it to go back to his original form. "We got the idea from the muggle heliocaptors."

Harry nodded, "Helicopters." Looking around at all the wonderful toys. Harry knew that he needed to get them working on some of his ideas. "Gentlemen let me make a proposition for you. The wizarding world is much too uptight. Don't you Think?"

"Too True,"

"Sticks right up their bum"

Harry grinned, "How would you like to help cause chaos and mayhem? Maybe put a few Death Eater Heads on pikes."

Fred put his hand over his heart, "You say the sweetest things Boy-Who-Wont-Die."

George piped in, "You had us at chaos and mayhem."

"Death Eater heads on pikes is a nice bonus." Fred looked to George who was nodding back.

Giving them a scowl, "Now you know that the headmaster will not approve of my methods." He looked at the two and got in their faces and gave them an evil smile, "I would not be very happy if he were to find out about my little game I'm playing."

Fred and George both shook their head, they knew that crossing Harry would be a very bad idea. "Our mum and dad are Dumbledore worshippers. I for one find him to be lacking in the leadership department."

"Fred's right. We'll follow you Harry. What we learned from the past. Those who have joined the Order of the Phoenix tend to have short life expectancies."

"Excellent, this is what I need from you guys." Harry leaned forward and started explaining what he wanted from them. The twins were surprised at first, then started giggling and then finally laughing..

Luna sat off to the side, just rubbing her mallet against her face. The word precious came from her lips quite often.

((((((SedMai))))))

Emerging from the shop, Harry noticed a certain blonde colleague that was suspiciously holding onto his left forearm. It was only a glimpse, but Harry thought he saw some type of artwork. "It seems that Dracky Poo has been branded." The two watched as he turned down Knockturn Alley.

"Now that he's branded like a cow. He wants to become a big boy" Luna looked up at Harry, "I think he want's to play Mr. J."

"My thoughts exactly Luna dear." The two headed down the alley following a few paces back.

Most citizens avoided Knockturn Alley due to the unsavory characters that litter the shadows of the street. A person didn't just turn down the alley unless they had business. Usually of the not so legal department. Most of the denizens of the alley survived for so long because they knew who to leave alone. Whether the person had powerful connections or the person was a predator themselves.

Walking down the alley, Harry would say that he wasn't very lucky. Most of his time at Hogwarts were a bunch of bad luck with a few sprinkles of good luck to keep him alive. At least some time fate was going to shit out some luck to him and this could be one of those times. Following Draco, Harry saw up ahead Bellatrix and Fenrir Greyback just emerging from a seedy looking pub. He could forget about Draco because these two were his big prizes.

"Luna dear, I think we may have a couple of playmates that so want to play."

Looking at whom Harry was speaking of, she was excited and a little apprehensive. Taking out her precious. "Ready when you are Mr. J."

He will have to thank the twins for their wonderful items when he sees them next. Passing by the two Death Eaters, Fenrir sniffed the air as if he recognized a scent. This caused Harry to pause. Taking out the darkness powder harry threw it at their feet. Trying to use the element of surprise. Both quickly stepped in the manufactured darkness. Harry was able to see easily do to his new contacts.

Luna enlarged her mallet and swung it in the direction of Fenrir. The mallet connected as he dropped to the ground. Harry went behind his dear distant cousin Bella. Punching her as hard as he could in the back of her head caused to to drop to the street ground The whole incident took no less than 5 seconds. Harry looked down at the still form of Fenrir as blood was running from a gash on his head.

"Kreacher! Dobby!" The elves appeared before Harry, the darkness of the powder was keeping everyone from seeing what was happening. "I need these two bound and put in the basement till I get back."

"Yes Master." The elves snapped their fingers and all four disappeared on the spot. Stepping back out from the darkness powder. Harry emerged with Luna who was whistling a little tune. Nobody bothered to stopped them as they came out of the alley. "Well where should we go now."

"Ice Cream, Mr. J." Luna dragged Harry to the ice cream parlour. Harry just laughed at Luna's antics happy to bring a smile to her face.

((((((SedMai))))))

AN: "Hello Kiddies, it's the new and improved Harry Potter, just call me Mr. J. Now I don't know about you, but this writer is really losing it. I'm mean look at the smelly pile of crap you just read. No, No, No, it just will not do. Not do at all. There was no pop, no pizzazz. He is writing about moi and of course everything must be done at a grander scale. Do not worry though, because the next chapter will be to die for. And my dear Luna does feel so neglected. Only a few lines of dialogue, but she is much happier now that she has her precious. Excuse me the writer is talking to me. Hold on one sec. What do you mean you already wrote the ending? Do Luna and I end up on a beach shagging like bunnies for the rest of our lives? No, huh. Do we live in the states and become rich and famous for doing nothing? Still No? Will I at least spread joy and mayhem to all the good boys and girls. Excellant! Well kiddies I'm back and just to let you know this will end on a happy ending. Hahahahaha. Anyhoo, Luna has been feeling neglected so expect more of my dear moon flower. Till next time, TTFN, Ta Ta for Now."