Hey there! I actually managed to finish this one pretty early. It's completely off-script, but it's based on the episode "Steven the Sword Fighter." Tell me what you think!

~Arg

Since Dipper wasn't feeling well that morning, the twins had decided fairly early that it was a day for lazing about. After their encounter with the seamonster robot, they weren't all that inclined to go searching for another adventure just yet anyway.

"Bop!" Mabel chirped, as she stuck the bubbled gem on the attic ceiling, standing atop a precarious stack of a bedside table and two chairs.

"Mabel, are you sure that's going to be a safe place to put that thing?" Dipper asked, an eyebrow raised. He was, for the most part, curled up again.

"Oh brother of little faith," Mabel said, shaking her head. "It'll stay there. It's plenty sticky!"

"That's not what I mean."

"Dipper, if the gem falls out of the bubble, I can make another bubble. No big deal."

Dipper hummed uncertainly at her, and flinched as she fell to the floor, her piled chairs crashing onto the wood below. He grit his teeth in sympathy as he looked down at her.

"I'm okay!" she called. Dipper sighed in relief.

"You didn't hurt your gem?" he asked her.

She checked it. "Nope!"

"It's not cracked or anything?"
"No, Bro-bro! My gem is fine! Why are you so worked up about it?" Mabel asked, showing Dipper the gem on her right palm for proof, before getting up.

"No reason," Dipper said nervously. "Um… hey! Why don't we watch Lonely Blade?"

Mabel gasped excitedly. "The loneliest blade of all…"

The twins hurried down the stairs to pop the movie into the TV. Soos was already down there, watching a rerun of Ducktective.

"Hey, Soos," Dipper smiled at him. "Want to watch a movie with us?"

"Sure, dudes," Soos replied cheerfully. "What movie?"

"Lonely Blade," Mabel grinned, popping the movie in. It started almost immediately.

"Man, I wish I could learn sword fighting," Dipper said suddenly, as the fight scene started. "It's probably nothing like the fight scenes in this, though."

"Probably," Mabel agreed. "Imagine; Boomerang Blade!"

Dipper laughed.

Stan walked in then, sipping a soda. "What'cha watchin'?" he asked as he approached.

"Some fighting movie," Soos answered. "It's pretty good."

"Fighting, huh?" Stan said, taking another sip of his soda. "Come to think of it, it might be good for you two to learn some fighting moves. Especially Mabel, since she has her weapon now and all."

Mabel gasped, and turned to grin at him with excitement. Dipper only looked at him sadly.

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper asked tentatively. "Do I get to learn some fighting moves too?"

Stan thought about that. "Probably," he replied. "You at least need to learn how to escape, since you don't even have any magic yet."

Dipper looked away solemnly.

"Okay, Mabel," Grunkle Stan grinned. "Get ready!"

"I'm ready!" Mabel called. Stan gave a nod and his gem on his right shoulder began to glow. Stan split into two, and a second, almost robotic version of him developed. He handed it a sword.

"Fight level: beginner's number one," fighter-Stan said tonelessly. It posed, ready to attack.

"Let me show you how this works," the real Stan told her. He pulled a large sword like thing out of the gem on his back, shaped much like his tattoo surrounding his gem. Dipper and Mabel looked at the sword with awe. It was dark red, covered in small, black crystal formations that shone through in certain pieces of the blade.

Dipper stepped away from Mabel and back toward the trees of the forest. Mabel stayed close to Stan, still staring in awe. Fighter-Stan attacked Stan, who parried continuously.

"See?" he grinned at Mabel, who nodded furiously. "That's all you need to do. Once you think you're ready, you can hurt it to make the fighting harder."
"Okay!" Mabel grinned, and posed, trying to summon her grappling hook. She stood there for a few moments, her arm up, before her smile faltered, and she looked at her gem with worry. "Aw, what? Why isn't it coming out?"

"You only summoned it once," Dipper reminded her from the sidelines, sitting on the ground. "Maybe it was just a fluke."

"Yeah, right!" Mabel huffed. "I had it! You saw it."

"Well, how did you feel when you summoned it?" Stan asked her. She thought about that.

"Like I would have died otherwise?"

Stan sighed, lowering his sword. "That's not specific enough."

"It isn't?"

"No, Mabel. You need to replicate exactly how you felt when you summoned your weapon the first time," Stan answered.

Mabel closed her eyes and tried again. "Evil gnomes!" she shouted, but to no avail. She sighed dramatically and fell onto her back.

"Dipper, come here. I want you to dodge these attacks," Stan told the boy.

Dipper grit his teeth. "I'm not so sure about that, Grunkle Stan…"

"Don't be such a whiner. Get over here and take this like a man!"

Dipper gulped and got up. He cautiously approached fighter-Stan, already preparing to run away if need be. Fighter-Stan looked at the kid menacingly and immediately began thrusting its sword at him.

Dipper yelped and ducked as the sword was swiped over his head. It knocked his hat off, and Dipper immediately put a hand to his forehead instinctively, trying to protect his gem from further harm.

"Good job, kid!" Stan called, now further away from the fighter-Stan and the shack. "Keep goin'!"

Dipper scooted himself quickly to his left as the fighter-Stan swiped at the area he'd just been in. "Grunkle Stan!" he huffed as he dodged another attack. "Is that a real sword you put in its hand?!"

"Of course it is!" Stan called back. "Don't be such a pansy!"

Dipper grit his teeth in terror as the fighter-Stan narrowly missed Dipper's head. "Grunkle Stan!"

"Keep at it, kid!" Stan called back, then laughed. Dipper made a vocal sound of panic, his voice cracking, as he dodged three more attacks.

"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper yelled again, more desperately this time, before the sword in fighter-Stan's hand smacked harshly against Dipper's stomach.

Stan got up and summoned his sword again.

"Alright, kid," he said, stabbing fighter-Stan. "You deserve a break."

Fighter-Stan stopped, and pulled its sword to its side. "Level one defeated," it said robotically. "Continue?"

Dipper turned and threw up, panting.

"Whoa, hey, Dipper," Grunkle Stan said with light concern. "What was that about?"

"He hasn't been feeling well this morning," Mabel answered. She walked up to him with worry. "Dip, you okay?"

"I didn't need that," he answered tiredly. "Ugh, everything hurts."

"Go get some rest, kiddo," Grunkle Stan told him, grabbing Dipper's hat from where it had been knocked away and putting it back on the kid's head. "You did pretty well dodging all those moves with an unsettled stomach."

Dipper gave a tired smile, his arms wrapped around his abdomen. He trudged slowly into the shack, and sat down on the stairs to the attic for a moment, trying to will away the pain. Once he worked up the nerve a minute later, he stood and got a glass of water, then took it with him to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth.

Looking in the mirror as he brushed, he stopped, and took off his hat, pushing his bangs out of the way. The crack was still there, and Dipper couldn't tell if it was any better or worse than it had been not too long before.

"Should I tell Grunkle Stan?" he said aloud, once he rinsed the toothpaste out of his mouth. He thought about it, remembering Stan calling him a wimp. Dipper looked down. "No," he concluded. "He'd just make fun of me, anyway. Can I even use magic like this?"

"Magic like what?" Mabel said suddenly as she opened the bathroom door, startling Dipper, who hurriedly put his hat back on.

"Nothing!" Dipper told her quickly. "I-I was thinking about all my headaches and that sort of thing, that's all!"
"Dipper," Mabel said calmly, smiling but obviously concerned. "If something is wrong, you can tell me."

Dipper only looked away. He took his glass of water and walked out of the room, leaving Mabel alone and worried.

Mabel came into the attic much later to see Dipper asleep on his bed. She looked around cautiously and tiptoed over to his sleeping form. Her brother was clearly sweating, as even in the now-dark room, she could still see the shine of it across his face. She placed a hand gently on his forehead, checking for a fever. He was a bit warm for her liking. As she lifted her hand, her fingers brushed lightly against his gem, and her brow furrowed as she realized something was amiss with it.

Quietly, she brushed his bangs out of his face and away from his forehead, showing his birthmark, the big dipper, his gem surrounded by the birthmark flawlessly. Mabel pulled out a small flashlight, and turned it on over Dipper's face, allowing her to see the crack in his gem. He startled awake and pushed her away, covering his forehead quickly with his hand.

"Ah! Mabel!" he shouted, panting. She gave him a curious and concerned expression.

"Dipper, is your gem cracked?"

"I'm fine, Mabel! Let me sleep!"

Mabel huffed. "You're supposed to tell me about these things, Dipping-sauce! We're a team, remember?"

Dipper didn't answer.

"I don't really know what a cracked gem will do, but I'm sure it'll heal eventually. It's nothing to be that worked up over!"

He stayed silent.

"Are you mad at me now?"

"Let me sleep!" Dipper hissed again. "I don't feel good, okay?"

"Okay, okay! I just came in to see if you had a fever…" Mabel sighed. She walked out of the room. "Goodnight, Dipper."

With that, she closed the door.

"Alright, Grunkle Stan! Show me what you've got!" Mabel shouted excitedly as she pulled the sheet off of fighter-Stan. Stan readied his gem weapon, taking a stance.

"Challenger! Are you prepared for combat?" fighter-Stan asked Stan.

"Gimmie all you got!" Grunkle Stan shouted back at it.

Fighter-Stan rushed for the real Stan, its sword smacking harshly against Stan's gem weapon. Stan parried it and managed to dodge several of its attacks. He attempted to slash at it, but it blocked.

This continued on as Soos and Mabel cheered for him.

Finally, Stan managed to stab it in the chest. "Challenger wins!" it called. Stan let out a puff of air.

"I still got the ol' moves!" he declared as his sword disappeared. He clapped his hands together to brush them off. "Now, how's about we all go and have something nice to eat at Lazy Susan's or somethin'?"

"What about Dipper?" Mabel asked.

"What's up with him, by the way?" Soos asked.

"Oh, Dipper has a fever and threw up earlier today when Stan's copy thingie hit him in the stomach," Mabel answered. "He's still asleep, I think."

"Nope," Dipper said as he walked in, adjusting his vest. "I got up a little while ago. I'm feeling just fine."

"You sure?" Mabel asked skeptically. "You had a fever and everything."

"I'm pretty sure, Mabel," Dipper grumbled back. Mabel bounced over to him and put her hand on his forehead.

"That's weird," she said aloud. "Your fever's already gone?"

"I guess I just needed to sleep it off," Dipper shrugged. Mabel and Soos glanced at each other uncertainly.

"You sure you're feeling better today, Dipper?" Mabel asked her brother, as he stood in front of fighter-Stan.

"I feel great!" Dipper called, grinning at the copy holding a sword. "And I'm gonna practice for fights!"

"Ready, knucklehead?" Stan asked, looking down at his great nephew.

Dipper gave a determined nod.

"Go."

Immediately, fighter-Stan began slashing seemingly wildly at Dipper. He dodged every attack, quickly getting tired, the grin staying on his face in seeing that he was succeeding.

"Look for a pattern!" Stan called to his nephew as he backed away. Dipper didn't reply.

The slashes came again and again. Dipper watched carefully, thinking it through. Forward, guard motion, upward slice, across, then each side, repeat.

Once Dipper had the pattern, dodging was a cinch.

"Dodging practice complete," the robotic voice sounded, and shut down for a second, before starting back up. "Level two, go!"

Dipper barely managed to dodge the next attack as a wave of nausea suddenly hit him. "Oh no," he whimpered. "Not now…."

A headache flared, making him grab at his head with a wince. The fighter-Stan was about to hit Dipper, when suddenly everything went quiet.

Dipper and Mabel both looked up as the fighter-Stan chimed, "Level two failed."

Stan had been impaled.

"Dipper, you okay?" Stan asked. Dipper stared, and silently gave a nod, unable to speak through his surprise. "Don't worry, kids. I'll be back soo-"

Stan disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Mabel and Dipper stood there, terrified, as a black, circular gem clattered to the floor.

"Oh, don't worry about that, dudes. Gems can regenerate as long as their gemstones are okay," Soos told them, polishing Stan's gem a bit before placing it on the couch. "Should take Stan a couple days before he finishes up in there. He's not dead."

Dipper looked down guiltily.

"Hey, it's not your fault," Mabel assured him. "Besides, he'll be okay! There's nothing to worry about."

"I know," Dipper sighed. "If I hadn't been so sure of myself…"

"You can't blame yourself for being confident," Mabel told him. "Yesterday, you were dodging pretty well for having an upset stomach, like Grunkle Stan had said! You just needed more time to get better, even if your fever was gone so fast last night."

Dipper put a hand on his forehead.

"Do you still feel sick?" Mabel asked him. Dipper shook his head.

The twins sat around boredly, rewatching Lonely Blade for the third time that day.

"Can we go on a monster hunt or something?" Mabel asked her brother.

"Not until we have Stan for backup," Dipper insisted. "I'm not letting either of us get killed because we were bored."

"We'll probably just regenerate from our gems like Grunkle Stan's doing."

"We're half gem, Mabel. We don't know how these things would affect us."

Mabel huffed.

"Are you ready to fight?" fighter-Stan called from under its sheet for what felt like the thousandth time.

"No," Dipper grumbled. "We're not interested."

The movie went on.

"Boomerang Blade!" called a character in the movie. Suddenly, a sword sliced through the TV.

"Aw, what?!" Dipper yelped. "Why'd you do that?"

"Challenger defeated," fighter-Stan said robotically. "Try again?"

"Why is it that all you want to do is fight?!" Dipper shouted at it.

"Challenge accepted," fighter-Stan said, as it readied its sword. "Level one!"

It began attacking Dipper, who dodged flawlessly. Mabel ran and grabbed one of her stuffed animals, and threw it at fighter-Stan.

"Level one complete. Level two, go."

The twins gritted their teeth and split as fighter-Stan slashed at where they'd just been. The fighter-Stan's moves sped up, and Dipper had a hard time dodging.

Just as it was about to hit Dipper, Mabel pulled out her grappling hook, and shot the fighter-Stan in the face.

Its head popped off, and Dipper took its sword and cut it, starting to dissipate the hologram as much as he could. Mabel's grappling hook disappeared, and she surveyed the damage in the room.

The television had been split in half, shelves had been knocked over, the couch had a tear in it, a window had been broken, and Dipper had a cut on his leg. Not horrible amounts of damage, but enough to make one grimace.

The gem on the couch began to glow as both twins glanced at it with surprise. The glow formed a shape, becoming the silhouette of their great uncle. A flash of light blinded the two briefly before they saw Stan standing there, and both twins jumped up and hugged him.

"Wow, you two missed me that much?" he laughed. "Pansies."

Dipper and Mabel only smiled.