Well Everyone Time For Yet Another Christmas Chapter. Once again Smash Brothers Dosen't Belong to me and neither does Christmas stories but hey so long as you like this stuff I'll continue making it though you'd probably prefer it if I actually got to making stuff you're far more interested in. That will come... uh some point soon. Till then read and enjoy this little chapter.
"Another Generic Smash Brothers Christmas Story Aka The Twelve Nights Of Smashmas"
By DianaGohan.
An epic tale was commencing in a location far away from the usual Smash Brothers Mansion and even the surrounding city area. In a place where many trudged but only few obtained what they were after, usually at a great price. The three warriors chosen for the job had prepared, and were ready to face the obstacles no matter how dangerous they might be-
"That will be 101.50 Sir" A Best Boy Cashier was heard saying to Link, interrupting the dramatic narration.
Link turned to his companions Shiek and Diddy. "Any of you guys got any actual money? I know for a fact Best Buy dosen't take rupees."
"No, but I have the next best thing" Diddy said holding up a Best Buy gift card. "I got this after all those copies of Diddy Kong Racing for the DS sold so much."
"Wow, I'm sure people were excited to get a chance to play a handheld version of a medicore Nintendo 64 racer" Shiek said sarcastically.
"Hey they were. Or at least the 8 years old the parents bought them for anyway." Diddy then handed the card to the guy who took it and scanned it.
"Let's see you still have about 45 Dollars left on thsi card" he then looked at the three. "Would any of you be interested in getting a Best Buy Reward Zone card?"
"...No" the three said at once.
The Cashier sighed. "Yeah I know, like one out of every hundred people's actually even sort of interested in one. But they always want you to ask and make sure the customers get the best savings-"
"Yeah, retail work kind of blows" Shiek said taking the bag. "At least you're honest about it. That's kind of a rarity."
"Well hey, it's not every day people come in Nintendo cosplay to the store" The guy said starring at the three close up. "Why are dressing up like that for this Christmas season though? There aren't any super important games of your "series' coming out the end of this year."
"Hey, this isn't a costume!" Diddy said offended. "I'm actually the real Diddy Kong, and that's the real Shiek and Link."
"Sureeee you are" The guy said smiling at them. "Have fun for Christmas kids. Hope Santa gives you bananas or triforce pieces and Orcinia melodies."
Link looked at the guy angrily. "Hey I collect those pieces without the help of some jolly fat man-"
"Let it go Link" Shiek said waving her hand. "Clearly coming to a best buy so out of the city means we entered one within the confounds of "reality" that isn't aware that we actually exisit. Well I guess in some or another exisit anyway."
"Fine fine" Link said as the three started walking out of the store as he then took out his sword. "Still it wasn't nice to call you fictional. Maybe we're just characters in a story but the emotions we feel for each other is still real. And to call someone as smart, strong and cool as you real seems like a crime to me."
"I have to say that was pretty sappy, but still very sweet" Shiek said kissing him on the cheek. "Know I feel the same for you hero, and then some."
"Hey safe that hankey panky stretchy armed lanky stuff until we get back to the mansion" Diddy said walking behind them. "You're going to make me feel bad that Dixie wasn't put in Brawl, even as an Assist Trophy."
"Yeah it did seem kind of weird that you guys didn't get an assist trophy" Link stated. "Neither did Yoshi actually. What did the hand consider all factors of Mario seperate yet different at the same time that he couldn't bother giving them a bit more stuff?"
"Well Wario had a pair of assists but they day you can make sense of Master Hand's logic is the day that everyone's dream wish for the next Smash Tournament would actually come true" Shiek pointed out as the there laughed a bit. Shiek twirled the bag. "Besides now that we've gotten the seven swans a swimming, we can just hand them to him and not have to deal with this story anymore."
"Yeah and maybe Di will finally start working on Night Of The Werehog Brawl Edition again" Link said. "Especially a certain scene in Chapter 23-"
"Hey don't say anymore!" The three looked to see a tan skinned guy, wearing a blue T-Shirt, brown pants and white sneakers walk up to them pointed at them angrily. "You were about to give away a spoiler!"
"And who are you?" Link said looking at him strangley.
"I am Gregory McSport Nocker, but some know me as the Unspoiling Hero" The guy then made a heroic pose as the three continued looking at him even stranger.
"... The What?" Link asked breaking the silence.
"The Unspoiling Hero, the supreme protector of all the facts that some may not want to hear about." He then held his hands out in the air, attempting to show off nonexistant muscles. "It's my job to prevent any information from leaking out to the public that they may not know about and deliever justice onto those who give away things people may not want to hear about.
Shiek rolled her eyes. "Wow what a... useless job."
Unspoiling Hero smirked. "Oh sure it may seem useless, but it's quite beneficary, especially when it comes to making sure you don't give out any stuff involving a certain story people may not want to hear about.
"Well maybe you wouldn't even need to be here if Diana stopped being so lazy and actually wrote the chapters" Diddy pointed out. "Seriously I've seen three toed sloths write more then her. Nothing really that good, and those were some pretty naziesque sloths actually, but still more stuff."
"Was this in some sort of Conker/Call Of Duty crossover special or something?" Link asked.
"Well more like it was suppose to be a special CoD little minigame. You know, like how that jerk Snake had that Ape Escape cameo minigame in MGS3."
"Hey, saying the Ape Escape characters appeared in that game is a spoiler!" Un-Spoiling Hero whinted.
"That came out like four years ago so it dosen't count" Shiek pointed out. "For something to even be considered a spoiler it has to be knowledge that has been witheld to someone for a specific reason, which isn't that."
"Well... it may of been to someone, ever think of that?" The three then started walking away from him. "Hey don't walk away from me when I'm giving out spoiling information!" The Unspoiling Hero started chasing after them. "You need to listen to heroes... unless they're giving away spoilers, in which case-"
"Look saying stuff like that dosen't make you a super hero. It just makes you paranoid." Shiek pointed over at Link. "Look, that's a hero" She pointed at Diddy Kong. "That's a jungle hero." She pointed at herself. "I'm a heroine, since people still seem confused about my gender for whatever reason."
"Maybe because they didn't playthrough Ocrinia of Time yet." Unspoiling Hero gasps. "That means you're giving spoilers for that game as well. Prepare to die spoiling fiend!"
"Pfft, what are you going to do, annoy us to death?" Link asked.
"Hey I have some mad skills" the guy said moving around his hands and attempting to throws kicks and punches as he then fell hard to the ground.
"Yeah nice "skills" you have there" Shiek noted sarcastically. "Bit of advice: Next time try praticing more or else you'll end up more humilated and parodied then the Star Wars Kid."
"Hey I have way more class then that guy" Unspoiling Hero said getting up. "I'm a bonafied super OC-"
"You're a bonafide Orange Crate?" Diddy asked.
"No, I'm an original character Diana made years ago to warn people of the dangers of spoiling stuff."
"Oh" Diddy then took out his gun and shot Un-Spoiling Hero hard to the ground with a peanut blast. "Sorry this is an OC free zone."
"Yeah none were asked for in Chapter Four which means none should be here" Link said taking out his bow. "So either leave peacefully or leave in pieces."
Un-Spoiling Hero gasped. "Hey, that threat's a spoiler! Prepare for the full wrath of my-"
Shiek then teleported behind him and knocked him out with a quick punch to the head. "Fortuanley this wasn't a gary stu level OC otherwise we'd of all been severly outclassed for no well explained reason." She then looked down at the guy. "I think that was just one of those one note comedy OCs added tom ake a few jokes and then be taken out."
"Well technically it was more of a knock out then a take out" Diddy pointed out.
Shiek shrugged. "Eh I don't really feel like killing if I don't have to. Especially since unecessary death is complained about a lot."
"Good point" Link said as the three were shown walking along the road again. "Fourtnaley that should count as a "Christmasey" enough problem for us to handle so we can just go back to the mansion in peace."
Master Hand was shown looking at the three walking through a giant telescope. "Oh that is so not a Chrismasey enough problem" he stated throwing the telescope away. "And who told them that they could get Seven DVDs of Princess Tutu to count as Seven Swams a Swimming anyway?"
"Alex Warlorn you stupid asshole" Falco said still stuck on the Bonsly. "The guy who I'm sure will understand when you get comedically killed off for being such a total and complete jackass."
"Hey I'm just trying to have the best collection of Christmas stories as humanley possible" Master Hand stated.
"And uh, you're failing at that, big time."
"Oh come on, name someone with a better Smash Christmas Story then this one."
"Uh how about this one?" Falco pointed over at the Computer
"Let me see" Master Hand peered at it. "Hmm, the Dedede who stole Christmas. Wasn't that the name of the latest Brawl In The Family Webcomic?"
"Well it's also a story, and far better then this crap."
"Yeah right" Master Hand then looked at the computer and started laughing. "ha ha, this is pretty funny anyway. Dedede gave the smashers a boxing glove punch to the face. Why didn't I do that?"
"Cause that's actually be a far more pleasent expierence then this" Falco pointed out. "I'm just glad some of the others aren't suffering at the hand of your and DianaGohan's idiotic plotting."
"Hey if I want them to suffer they'll suffer" Master Hand said pointing at the TV. "That's why I've been watching so many good christmas specials. To know all the Christmas traditions to put in this tale."
"Oh yeah, cause all of those Christmas traditions included horny goddesses and Geez crap" Falco stated sarcastically.
"Oh you're just jealous you didn't get to join them" Master Hand barley ducked being shot by Falco several times. "Besides I've been saving all the Chrsitams traditions to put into this chapter" he then snapped his fingers. "Let the Christmas love begin."
The three smashers were shown walking again as two small sickley looking kids in tattered rags were shown walking in front of them, coughing some.
"Greetings" Said one kid coughing some more. "Do you think you guys could help us out?"
"See we're both orphans" the other kid said coughing some. "And if we don't get any medicine for our sick sister Lydia, I'm afraid she's... going to die." The orphan then cried a tear. "And then how are we suppose to have a good Christmas."
"Oh hold on a sec" Shiek then tossed them a heart container. "Give this to you sister. It should heal her up properly."
The orphans looked up at her happily. "God bless you!" They called out running off.
"Kind of weird to see Orphans around the city" Link said smiling at her. "It was really nice of you to help them out."
"Hey you should try and lend a helping hand on Christmas" Shiek pointed out.
"I have a feeling though a "helping hand" was behind this though" Diddy then picked up something on the ground. "Look at this note. It says "Try and at least one page plot of you getting Shiek, Link and Diddy to help you out and preform a Christmas miracle" signed Master Hand."
Link looked up angrily. "Would you just leave us alone? We finished you're stupid Christmas shopping so there's no need to continue on."
"Oh yes there is!" Master Hand's voice called out. "You still haven't done enough Christmas worthy things so now I command you to find me a good Christmas tree. And not just any tree either. I want one that looks sickly and ill but if given enough love and attention can become a good little tree we can all sing carols around after realizing it was wrong to mock it."
"Uh, I think Jeff's doing that actually" Shiek said pointing over to the Earthbound kid walking along the other side of the street holding a sickly looking tree.
"Good grief, there's a 99 Percent chance everyone will get what this is refrencing" Jeff called out.
"Alright fine" Master Hand was then shown pacing around the mansion before he got out a megaphone. "Okay new idea! You dance around the tree being happy while someone plots on stealing all your gifts, cause you didn't give him gifts cause he pranked you every holiday-"
"You kno someone already did that story dumbass!" Falco called out.
"Fine uh... oh I know! You find a Stanlter who has a red glowing nose and then insult it for awhile before realizing that it was wrong to insult him cause he's the only one who can end up guiding the sleigh-"
"Actually I sent all the Pokemon to Holiday Break Land" Crazy Hand said teleporting in.
Master Hand looked at him. "There is no such place."
"Yes there is. It's called Memphis Tennessee and it's the best place to avoid "pesky things like you" or something ike that."
Master Hand groaned. "Fine then. Okay you find this really greedy kid who sent a huge list to Santa several months early, but the list was so big that Santa ends up thinking it's a town and he goes and brings christmas there for the first time in years-"
"What do Obscure 80's Holiday specials that use to play on Cartoon Network have to do with us?" Link called out.
"Cause we can call it the 'The Down that Smashnta Forgot'". Everyone groaned at this. "Okay okay, I got the best idea for a hoiday special. We'll put on a big holiday play, but then someone will make it illegal to show any religious or santa related imagery, and the only hope for saving the holiday is a little piece of christmas poo-"
"Actually according to this contract we're only allowed to use one major crap joke a story" Crazy Hand said looking through a piece of paper. "And that was used up last time."
"Since when could you read?" Master Hand asked annoyed.
"Since remotley last morning, but that reminds me of a good Christmas story. You have all the stockings of the world unite and stuff people with gifst since they're sick of having things forced into them."
Master Hand gasped. "Wait a minute. Was that an... original Christmas story idea?"
"Was what an original Christmas idea?"
"The thing you said about the stockings!"
"Uh, I don't know. Maybe."
"Maybe's better then anything else anyone has said in the last 10 years!" Master Hand then took out the microphone again. "Okay you guys and your boring shopping adventure is done. We've got bigger fish to fry or at least try and patent."
"Shouldn't it be patpresent?" Crazy Hand asked.
Master Hand pointed at him. "Only I make the terrible... I mean genious puns around here. Remember that." The two then teleported away.
Link, Diddy and Shiek looked around. "Wow, that was... kind of random" Diddy pointed out.
Shiek shrugged. "Well at least he's not bugging us which means we can go home in peace." Little did the three know that somewhere in the bushes someone was looking at them angrily ready to strike and-
"Yeah none of that" Link stated quickly going over to the bushes as he was shown smacking Un Spoiling Hero out of them.
"Ow, my un-Spiling pants!" Unspoiling Hero said getting up. "It's not a spoiler to reveal you'll pay for that one, Un-Spoiling Hero Style-" He was then quickly punched hard by Shiek away as Diddy appeared behind him and kicked him hard in the back as Link then knocked him hard into the pavement, knocking him out cold.
"Think people will complain about me not being hero allinged for that one?" Link asked.
"Oh we all know you're a hero here" Shiek said going over and hugging him. "A hero who has a date until the mistoltoe when we get home."
"Now that's a spoiler I'm glad was revealed to me" Link said as the two laughed a bit and started running off to the mansion.
Diddy looked at the camera. "You know this wasn't that bad a chapter actually. Hopefully you all can agree on that and leave good reviews." Diddy looks at note on the ground. "Oh and Diana says that if Ri2 review this he better give one of those big long reviews he use to give for some of her Smashing Something New Every Day chapters cause she misses those or something." Diddy then started running away as the camera panned out on them.
THE END!
In truth not the chapter I had in mind for today but I still hope you thought it was at least adequate so yeah give those reviews and tell me what you liked and what you didn't. And hopefully I can try and start getting more then two reviews a chapter since I'm super craving the review love and such.