Okay everyone time for the next Christmas chapter. I'm sure you'd all prefer the new Smash Brothers Night Of The Werehog Brawl Edition chapter but that may still be awhile. I promise it will be up before Christmas though (and chapter 20 will be up before 2009) but until then enjoy this latest christmas thing. Smash Brothers dosen't belong to me but I'm sure you all know that by now so hopefully you can just start enjoying the chapter and such.
"Another Generic Smash Brothers Christmas Story Aka The Twelve Nights Of Smashmas Chapter Eight"
By DianaGohan.
Inside the mansion on one of the upper rooms of the Smash Mansion (above the main hall where Master Hand was still torturing Falco with bad Christmas special like Super Mario World's Cave Christmas starring those annoying cave creatures who make Sonic X's Chris look like a good human edition to a show) Samus and Meta-Knight were shown standing in front of a door. Well Meta-Knight was just standing there as Samus was shown pounding on it.
"Hey, get out of there!" Samus yelled out. "We have to go and find those 8 Milking Maids."
"I refuse to participate in such a sexist sounding activity" Zelda called out. "Besides me and Zesu are busy plotting strategy."
"Yeah, what kind of strategy?" Samus asked.
"The most important kind" Zero Suit Samus stated as she started moaning in pleasure. "Hmmm you sure do know where to rub out all the stress Zel."
"Hey only returning the favor dear Zesu" Zelda stated as the two laughed a bit.
Samus groaned. "Look wait to have you're semi erotic little girl on girl moments later."
"Hey, we're still recovering you know" Zero Suit Samus called out. "From you know all the tramua suffered in the Werehog tale."
"I might beleive that if a certain writer even got up to you're actual fight in that story" Samus called out. "And how about helping us actually do something unlike the incredibley limited roles we get on that story"
"Well to be fair the one scene we were in was a very important and very well written character study" Meta-Knight pointed out.
Samus nodded. "Sure was but that dosen't mean anything in this 4th wall breaking mess." She pointed her arm cannon at the door. "Okay you have about three seconds to open up or else I'm opening this door for you."
Meta Knight took out his sword. "Allow me dear Samus" he then quickly sliced the door in two and held out his hand. "After you."
"Thanks" she said smirking some before her and Meta-Knight walked in to see Zero Suit Samus and Zelda cuddling each other on Zelda's bed. "So where's this "strategy" you two were plotting?"
"Like we'd tell opressors like you!" Zelda said getting up and looking at Samus angrily. "If it weren't for the fact that you are in fact related to my dear Zesu I'd blast you into pieces for intruding into my room."
"Sorry" Samus said sarcastically crossing her arms. "Look I understand wanting to cuddle with the one you care about. I sort of feel the same way" she looked over at Meta Knight and then looked over at them. "Wait to do it After this mission though."
"Fine fine" Zero Suit Samus said getting up. "So how are we going to get these 8 Milking maids anyway? Going into Hyrule with a cloning gun and dragging them back here?"
"That'd be an easy solution but one we're not allowed to do" Meta-Knight said holding up a book. "According to the script, Master Hand said that if we steal one more idea Alex Warlorn suggested to us in one of his long, yet enjoyable, reviews, we'd have to "switch partners" for awhile."
Zelda made a fist. "There's no way I'm going to face the possiblity of ending up with a man!"
"Aren't you suppose to be over being sexist by now or something?" Samus asked.
"Well since this is out of continuity, no. Besides if there was ever a time to fight for woman's right, it'd be now." Zelda crossed her arms. "What kind of barbarian would think it'd be a good idea to give a gift of 8 milking maids to someone anyway?"
Zero Suit Samus shrugged. "Yeah that list never made sense to me either. Seriously it's just full of birds and people being wrapped up as gifts. Who thought that'd make for 12 good Christmas presents anyway?"
"Well it was originally a french song, and we all know how twisted the French are" Samus said pointing over to Chapter Three. "Though yeah from what records all around the universe indicate there is no true meaning behind the various lyrics. Though some theorize that they represent a food or a sport that held importance during the twelve months."
Zero Suit Samus narrowed her eyes. "So, that would mean that August celebrates the important sport of... maid milking." She smirked at her suited counterpart. "And you're the smart one again because..."
"I'm just telling you what I heard. Dosen't make anymore sense to me." Samus looked around. "Point of the matter is we're not going to find any maids a milking here."
"That may not be the case actually" Meta-Knight said as the three women turned to him. "Perhaps we can take a cue from that other tale and use the house resources to help fill our requests."
"You mean use the assists or alloys as milking maids?" Samus asked as Meta nodded. "I have to say that's a pretty good idea."
"But it came from a male mind. How could it be good?" Zelda asked as Samus groaned. Zelda then took the book from Meta Knight. "Besides according to the rules set past we're not allowed to use any more Night Of The Werehog: Brawl Edition ideas anyway."
"Wow, Master Hand somehow keeps finding more and more ways to be a jerk" Samus commented.
"Hey I'm just trying to get you to flex you're creative muscles!" Master Hand called out. "Just like what I'm doing."
"You're watching the freaking Smurfs Chrsitmas special!" Falco called out.
"That's creative in... some countries" Master Hand said quietly.
"Well we're not going to get any ideas in here to get those maids then" Samus said pointing outward. "Let's meet up outside and discuss how to go about this."
"Last one's out members of an inferior gender!" Zelda yelled out, grabbing Zero Suit Samus as the two teleported away.
Samus groaned a bit. "Seriously was there a good reason she didn't use her actually GOOD characterization here?"
"Perhaps because this version of Zelda is more comical then the more unsure and more emotionally fragile Zelda and since this is a parody/comedy tale it would make it easier to tell jokes using her then using her more altered personality" Meta-Knight pointed out.
Samus smiled and hugged him. "Well glad we're normal here" she asked ash he erturn the hug before grabbing her hand as they were shown warping around the mansion. Meanwhile Zelda and Zero Suit teleported in front of the house as it was shown snowing out with piles of white snowflkaes falling around them.
"Ugh, forgot how c-c-c-old it was out" Zero Suit said tightly holding herself. "Especially only wearing this b-b-blue powersuit."
"Though quite sexy and alluring on your body I could see how it wouldn't be the correct winter wear" Zelda said as Zero Suit blushed a bit. Zelda smiled as she held out her hand as magical energy was then shown forming around Zero Suit. "There you go. Now that my domininating feminene hyrulian energy is around you, the cold shoudln't be nipping at you that much."
"Thanks" Zero Suit said kissing her on the cheek. "Though I suppose I wouldn't mind too much if you started nipping on me instead."
"And I surley wouldn't mind doing that" Zelda said lighting kissing her on the chin as Meta Knight and Samus were then shown behind them as the two moved away. "You two have absolute the most horrid timing."
"And you guys have the lowest attention span since I said flirt later, find those stupid milk maids now" Samus pointed out.
Zelda sighed as she looked over at them. "Very well, but once we find them we're liberating them from working for tyranical male opressors and burning down the entire milking factory for being so obviously sexist."
"That would of perhaps been the case hundreds of years ago, or perhaps in more Hyrulian time, but such is not the case now" Meta Knight said flying up to look at her. "There are no actual milking ranches even around. The closest would be the Lon Lon industrated Milking factory."
"Oh yes, the place where Young Link got all of his milk" Zelda said rubbing her chin. "And though they're milk is bland and tasteless they aren't opressive."
"Wait, I thought Lon Lon milk was suppose to be this really great milk made in some secret grotto or something" Samus said confused.
Zelda shook her head. "It use to be but it was then taken over by a new coperation who then started serving it as goat's milk which had good recovery properties but a sour taste."
"Hmmm perhaps this milk coperation would be a good place to try and find "maids a milking" for our present to the hand" Meta Knight stated.
"Worth a try anyway" Samus said looking over at Zelda. "Would you be able to take us there?"
Zelda thought for a second. "Only if you admitt to how males are inferior and lower to women in every possible way in the history of history."
"No, cause that's stupid" Samus said pointing at her. "You do know that saying that sort of crap gives our whole gender a bad name right?"
"A bad name for you perhaps but not for the true females, like me and Zesu" Zelda said hugging her tightly.
"What do you mean "true females?" besides using armor and not letting my intellegence slip as much how am I any different from 'Zesu'"?
"Hey, remember who beat who before" Zero Suit Samus said stepping right in front of Samus. "I whooped you in Chapter 38 and I can do it again."
"I was the one who gave you a whooping, not the other way around" Samus said as the twos head were literally only a centimeter away from each other. "So you better step back unless you want me to give you another blasting inferior clone."
Zero Suit gasped. "You did NOT go there."
"And if I did?" Zero Suit then punched her hard in the face as Samus was knocked back a bit. "Okay then." Samus then punched her hard in the face knocking Zero Suit back a bit. The two then grunted at each other angrily and charged as a cartoony smokescreen of violence was shown.
"Ha you show that armorless hack who has the real power Zesu!" Zelda called out.
"I'm not sure how necessary this battle is but you know you always have my support Samus" Meta-Knight stated. The two then seperated, Samus looking marked up some with a piece of her armor missing. From within the armor she was smirking some though as Zero Suit was shown to be scuffed up a lot more with most of her attire ripped to shreds and breathing heavily.
"Unlike you who spent all they're time with the one they cared about cuddling and talking about stupid strategy I was actually honing my skills to they're upmost peak" Samus stated wiping some of the dirt off of her. "That means you're no match for me."
"Oh... yeah?" Zero Suit said as she smiled and then scooped up a snowball and quickly threw it at Samus.
"A snowball? How chidlish can you get?" Samus asked as Zero Suit hit her with another one. "Oh you're in for it now." Samus then transformed into her morph ball, spinning along the ground as gobes of Snow fell into the air. She quickly took out her cannon arm and used the grappling hook to pick up all thep ieces of snow as she then started firing snowball blasts from her cannon at Zero Suit, who started getting pelted hard and fell on the ground, moaning a bit in pain. Samus smirked and blew on her cannon arm. "Ready to give up now?"
"Not yet" Zero Suit said as she then grabbed another snowball. It glowed with energy for a second before she threw it at Samus, who cried out in pain as her suit was shown shorting out. "Oh what's wrong. You're precious power suit can't handle a little snow?"
"You... know it can" Samus said looked at the energy sparking out around it. "But... there was more then snow in that ball wasn't there?"
Zero Suit then winked at Zelda. "Maybe a little power I picked up from a very reliable source" she said as Zelda laughed a bit to herself. Zero Suit then turned to Samus. "Let's see how tough you are now without the suit to back you up!" She shouted as she ran at Samus and kicked her hard in the face, sending Samus flying back some as Zero Suit started running at her again.
"Do not think you're getting away with cheating like that" Meta Knight said teleporting right in front of Zero Suit.
Zelda then teleported in front of him. "Hey you're the one who said not to interrupt they're battles" she said turning to him. "Or are you just mad that you chose the wrong and inferior Samus?"
"I am only annoyed that your Samus would try cheating to defeat mine." Meta Knight said taking out his word. "I would never take back being with Samus as she is by far the best thing I have in my life."
Samus smiled warmly at that, getting up. "That means a lot to me Meta" she said dusting some of the snow off her. "Remind me to give you something special later. For now though I've got to get at miss cheats a lot here."
"Hey we never said there were any rules to this did we?" Zero Suit asked.
"That's because we never set up any rules!" Samus called out.
"Well I'm setting up the rules right now!" The four looked around confused to see Master Hand teleport in front of them. "You guys are distracting me from my important Christmas stories."
Meta Knight closed his eyes. "Are you talking about the "Bah Humduck" Looney Tunes Christmas special on your TV now?"
"Wow, umpeeth Daffy's a jerk jokes mixed with the millionth Christmas Carol parody ever" Samus said sarciastlly. "That's so important."
"Well, maybe to you guys it isn't but to me it is." He pointed at the two Samus. "You guys are suppose to be finding some milk maids not squabbling about who is better."
"Try telling her that" Samus said pointing at Zero Suit Samus. "I can't help it if she's insecure."
"Hey I'm not the one calling people inferior clones!" Zero Suit yelled out.
"Only cause it's true. Seriously you sometimes make me wish Pichu was chosen instead of you." Zero Suit yelled out and shot a bunch of paralyzing beams at her which Samus was barley able to duck.
"Okay, that's it!" Master Hand said snapping his fingers as the two's guns disappared. He pointed at Samus. "Samus, calling anyone a Pichu level clone in the Brawl Tournament is pretty unforgiivable."
"So is tripping and lousy online play but you let that in" Samus remarked.
"Well it seemed like a good idea at the time and uh still is" Master Hand quickly looked over at Zero Suit. "And as for you young lady no cheating with throwing magic snowballs at people."
"There is no rule against that" Zero Suit stated.
"Well I'm making it". Master Hand pointed at Zelda and Meta-Knight. "And you guys weren't of any help either. Shouldn't you have stopped them from fighting."
"Hey Zesu needed to prove her obvious superiroity!" Zelda cried out.
"I do not need to say anything to prove that Samus is superior" Meta Knight then looked over at Master Hand. "Furthermore we are in a fighting tournament-"
"Yeah yeah, I know. Solve problems with violence and stuff but violent fights aren't what garner good Christmas ratings." Master Hand snapped his fingers. "And I know how we're going to garner super christmas ratings. We're going to pull a viewer's choice."
Crazy Hand warped in. "Is this where I can ask people to vote to see the Holiday Sock in theathres this, next, or possily not in any Christmas ever?"
"No, it's something involve people who aren't you" Master Hand said pushing Crazy Hand away as he looked at the auidence. "Folks the ones of you that actually bother revieiwng this story vote on who do you think is better: Samus, or Zero Suit Samus. Whoever gets the most wins and gets a special present from yours truley. The loser gets them and they're lover turned into two of the milking maids for my Christmas special."
"What about the other six though?" Samus asked.
"They'll be made using this baby" Master Hand said holing up the cloning gun. "Not only will the loser and they're clones have to be part of the song, but they must also serve the winner and partner until the new year is over."
"Mmmm, having a version of Samus and a male mind I can crush and make my servant four fold? That actually sounds like a worthwhile ending" Zelda said holding out her hand. "I accept you're bet."
"Yeah uh that's great but it's between the two Samuses, not you."
"Hey, I'm also up for proving whose better" Zero Suit Samus said smirking. "And I'm sure the readers will agree who the superior Samus is."
"Yeah, cause surley them saying you lost you're intellegence after being cloned is a sign of them liking you more" Samus said sarcasitllly looking at the hand. "I'm in though."
"Though I suppose it is not necessary for me to say anything I support Samus's decision" Meta-Knight stated.
Master Hand snapped his fingers. "Very well then. That means we can end this chapter and let the people start voting like it was the election all over again, except this time when we mention it as a focal point in the chapter it hopefully won't get hated on." The four looked around and then at each other seriously as the camera panned around on they're faces and then pulled out.
THE END!
Wel lof the chapter, but remember to vote on which do you think is best: Samus or Zero Suit Samus. You can vote up to Christmas Eve on which Samus you like more. And while you're voting, tell me what you like about this chapter or not and what you think of it and all that good stuff. So until next chapter, later... and don't forget to vote! You could die if you dont.
ZELDA: Especially if you don't vote for Zesu-
Get out of here!