Okay time for the next chapter. To be honest I actually planned this one to originally be the sixth chapter, but unfourantley I got delayed and couldn't get any good ideas for this to help me finish the chapter until now which is why it's being pushed back into the the Nine Ladies Dancing Chapter. Luckily I still found a way to make it work so with that said enjoy the story and remember Smash Brothers dosen't belong to me and most importantly review. Review like your lifes depended on it cause they may... or may not. Probably not but still please review.
"Another Generic Smash Brothers Christmas Story Aka The Twelve Nights Of Smashmas Chapter Nine"
By DianaGohan.
In an area far away from the mansion miles and miles deep into the forest there was a great layer of snow falling down. Literally by the bucketfall as it was up to literally seven to eight feet like it was Alaska or even Canadian winter. Yes there was a lot of snow. So much snow that it pretty much encompassed and blocked out anything nearby, which included a small little cabin. Normally such an empty little cabin in the middle of nowhere wouldn't be a place to focus a story on, but that's where four of the smashers found themselves in. Yes, Fox, Wolf, Mr. Game and Watch and Kirby were indeed trapped in the little cabin as the snow continued raining down all around them. Were our four brave heroes combining they're powers in an effort to get out of the cabin before they were blocked in? Were they steadily going insane from cabin fever and plotting on killing the other when they had the chance? Was it getting so cold that they had to huddle together for warmth and start confessing terrible truths to each other?
"Take that, Star Fox!" Wolf said as he was shown jamming some buttons on his gamecube controller as Fox grimmaced some. Yes instead of doing any of those things listed the four were shown playing a game of Super Smash Brothers Brawl on the Wii in the middle of the room.
"Ha, that's almost as inaffective move as this misleading narration" Fox called out moving his controls as they were shown brawing (game wise at least) at Green Greens.
"Hey back in my day we were only allowed to break the 4th wall every time we moved the snow up and down the street" Game And Watch said.
Fox rolled his eyes. "Well then surley you can't do it either. Since you haven't even done anything in game."
"Why I have you know I'm playing a version of the Mr. Game And Watch Show, starring the oldesssssst man who still knows the truth about the dinosaurs". Game and Watch was shown playing as a red version of himself who used his hammer to hit an explosive block and Self KO himself. "I knew them reds were nothing but trouble. How'd them commies infect me?"
"That's because... oh why bother explaining to you?" Fox then looked over at Kirby. "I guess that also means I shouldn't bother explaining that the controller isn't a piece of candy for the 80th time."
"Well then maybe they shouldn't of made the plastic so tasty" Kirby said as he was shown muching down on the controller.
"Tsk tsk, you should really keep your eye on your oponent Star Fox" Wolf stated who was shown using Bowser who grabbed the Ike Fox was playing as and used a flying slam to knock him out of bounds, winning the game. "Especially when it ends up costing you the game."
Fox grunted a bit. "Well you only win because you always constantly play the game to unlock all the achievements. Seriously I hear you across the hall cheering and crying out about any time an AI opponent gets a cheap win on you."
"That's not me, you're just making an injoke to the people Diana plays brawl with" Wolf pointed out as the ending tagline showed Bowser's victory pose with a +9 Kos far above anyone else. "Of course this whole beginning is a parody of that I suppose, which would make you the Diana of the group being the loser who always tries and barley ever gets a win from superior players."
"Trying to kill and destroy me is one thing, but comparing me to Diana is just asking for trouble" Fox remarked as he went over and turned off the Wii. "Really we should be trying to figure a way out of this snow, not arguing about playing brawl."
"Oh Fox, having to be the one to hear the exposition on why we can't do that" Wolf said shaking his finger. "Such a shameful role. I thought it'd go to Game and Watch or Kirby, but someone who supposedly has common sense. How the supposed mighty have fallen."
"Look I just read it how it's written" Fox said taking a page of the script. "Though yeah since it's all out in the open I guess I'll be the one to mention how when we went searching for the Nine Dancing Ladies we for some retarded reason or another listened to Game And Watch for an idea on where to find them."
"Hey back in my day the olddddd cabin in the woods was the most happening club in all of hapland" Mr. Game and Watch said getting up and dancing a bit. "And I was the king of swing. Well actually swing is a tool of you new fangled hippie poppers so I was the king of the rocks cause those rocks knew how to respect they're elders-"
"Yeah no one at all is interested" Fox said crossing his hands. "Since we didn't have any other leads we had to check it out and then the snow piled up so bad we couldn't shoot our way our, charge our way out, Fire Fox melt our way out-"
"Or even eat our way out" Kirby said pointing outside. "I tried but that snow tasted like ice water."
"Yeah, cause that's what snow IS."
"Well I don't eat 10 thousand galloons of anything that dosen't have any sort of flavor on it" Kirby said crossing his arms. "Maybe if it was Snow Ragoo or snow Meatball or Snow Chocolate we'd be out of here."
"But we're not" Fox said pacing around. "Since we can't even get in contact with anyone else we're just going to have to wait until Master Hand finds us." Fox then looked down annoyed at the threeo thers. "Which means I'm stuck with you jerks. Quite possibly the worst team I've ever been on."
Wolf smirked. "Oh yes, because the hotheaded bird, annoying forg and old rabbit really made for better company"
Fox pointed at Wolf "Hey better then a sneaky ass bastard who shoudln't even be in Brawl" He pointed at Mr. Game And Watch "or a decripted ancient video game icon who should of been put in the home with a mask over what some would try and classify as a face" he then pointed at Kirby. "Or the simple dim witted eating machine who can't even remember he's suppose to be useful in crisis situations."
"Uh, was I the sneaky ass, the ancient icon or the dim witted eating machine?" Kirby asked. "I hope it's the eating machine cause I love me some machines to eat."
Fox sighed and rubbed his head. "Like I said before we should just try and figure a way out of here."
"I'm in no hurry" Wolf said looking up at him. "Seeing you pace around in agony makes for a fair amount of amusement. Besides I thought you were suppose to be the big hot shot leader who could figure out these things on his own."
"Fine, I will" Fox then started pacing around the floor.
Mr. Game and Watch looked at him. "Why back in my day only makers were allowed to pace and they had to keep in step with the ancient-" Fox shot at Game at Watch as he smashed into the side of the wall.
Wolf laughed. "Temper Star Fox. You're suppose to be the reasonable one of your team, right?"
Fox looked over at Wolf annoyed. "I am so going to enjoy being able to rip you to pieces in the ACTUAL story DianaGohan should be updating."
"Kirby's Super cook A Long Adventures!" Kirby stated as everyone looked at him. "That's a story right?"
"Well there was Kirby's lawsuit adventures but I don't think that involves eating a lot of people" Fox stated.
"It could" Kirby said taking out a briefcase. "I'll take the case!" He then ate the briefcase and transformed into a Kirby with a suit and tie.
"He has become Lawyer Kirby" the robotic Meta Knight was heard calling out. "With the ability to defend clients no matter how guilty they are and win cases as long as they pay well and are high profied."
Fox looked around. "Hey, think you can get us out of here Robot Meta Knight?"
"Sorry I only give exposition on Kirby's powers, not anything terribly useful" the robot was heard saying as Fox steamed a bit.
"Oh cheer up Fox" Kirby said as he was shown eating his suit. "See so long as I have a pack full of cases with jelly donuts in them I'll be able to keep transforming into a lawyer and eat my own clothes cause they're made of a very yummy fabric."
"How about you do something useful, like sue Diana and her stupid..." Fox snapped his fingers. "That's it!" He pointed at the others. "What is this?"
"Mr. Game And Watch's Story time?" Game And watch asked as Fox shot at him again. "Next time I'm getting out the bucket you fur suited commie!"
"Yeah if you can even remember that" Fox muttered looking at Wolf. "Despite being a total asshole I'm sure you are able to recongnize what this is."
"Obviously Diana's attempt to update a chapter every day for the Christmas season in order to gain more reviews then she has in more intruging tales" Wolf commented. "Though so long as you're miserable I'm okay being in this one."
"Well we're not going to be in it forever." Fox made a fist. "The whole pretext of these "find the presents" has been nothing more then a cheap Mcguffins."
"I thought Alex said there were only McMuffins in later chapters, becoming less and less uh... juicenifigant to the pots and sandwitches as it porkgresses." Kirby said confused.
Fox rolled his eyes. "I think I could actually understand that sentance despite all the terrible food puns in it." Fox looked at the 4th wall. "And to everyone at home, ALL che chapters have been nothing but cheap McGuffins. It's been made abundentley clear that they're just a flimsy way to make us do things in the name of having a mini christmas story." Fox then jumped in front of the others. "So all we need to do is something Christmasy for awhile and we'll be able to leave here somehow and move onto better stuff."
"And how do you propose we do that McFox?" Wolf asked.
"Wait, he's McFox?" Kirby asked sailvating a bit. "McFox Sandwitch?" Wolf nodded as Kirby charged at Fox who was able to jump up and kick him out of the way.
"Stop trying to get Kirby to eat me" Fox said annoyed at Wolf.
"Only when it stops becoming so amusing" Wolf said rolling his hand. "Still my point remains valid. Besides the snow there isn't anything Christmas related in here at all."
"Maybe not in here, but there can be in our minds" Fox said pointing at his head. "We'll just flashback to a bunch of our old Christmas stories and that will be enough of an attempt at story to move on."
"Did someone say Christmas stories?" Game and Watch asked as he was shown in a rocking chair moving back and forth. "Cause the olddddd man's got a good one."
Fox narrowed his eyes. "You know what? Fine, tell you're stupid story." Fox sat down. "Just don't make it take forever."
"Hey you youngins wouldn't know forever cause that's how long I've been around" Game and Watch said waving his stick. "Now anywho like all great stories this one takes place back thousands and thousnads of years back in the time of the dinosaurs" Flashback wavy lines were seen as Mr. Game and Watch was shown walking through a prehostoric jungle. "Me and my friends the Tricertops Tumblers had just beat those commie Pterodyacals and were about to listen to some good old fashioned music until tradegy struck" a Triceperatos then walked in front of Game and Watch.
"Oh thank god you're here Game and Watch" said the Triceteratpos. "One of those punk kids from across the street threw they're baseball at me."
"Why those lousy ingrates. Baseball was only invtented yesterday and they already messed it up" Game and Watch raised his fist in the air. "I'm going to teach those pot licking stamp collectors a thing or two." He then walked acorss the street where a bunch of baby stegasourouses were shown tossing a ball to each other. "You dang kids! Keep your balls out off you're elder's lawn."
"We don't wanna" said noe of the steagsoarouses. "We found this ball fair and square and we want to play with it."
"Yeah" said one of the other stegasourases. "It was our only Christmas present this year."
"That's cause I told Santa to throw coal at you danged hoodlums for being a bunch of rowdy rumpkins. In fact I'm going to have Santa do it again." Game and Watch looked up. "Hey Santa teach these bing bongs a lesson." A giant rectangle being driven by a pine tree roleld by and dropped sevearl tons of coal on the stegasourses. "Thanks for that Santie."
"No problem Game and Watch" said a yellow looking 2D cube bouncing up and down. "You are afterall the king of the galaxy."
"That's right, now let's go put those russians in place" Game and Watch said as he jumped on the rectangle as it flew off. The Flashback ended as everyone looked over at Game and Watch dryly.
"... I know I say this, or should say this everytime but that has to be the stupidest story you've ever told" Fox stated.
"Hey I didn't even get up to the part where me and Jesus and Santa tag teamed against the nazi to liberate oil for the dinosaurs before the comet came and turned them into Ice Cubes" Game And Watch said as Fox knocked him out of his chair.
"Too bad, you're done. Someone else tell some kind of Christmas story."
"Oh, I got one, I got one!" Kirby then exictedly leaped on the chair. "It was a few years ago...."
".... And?"
"And what?" Kirby asked.
"You're suppose to start telling the story now."
"Oh yeah, that". Flashback waves started as Kirby was shown happily muching down on Christmas ham and turkeys as the flashback ended. "And that's why it was the best Christmas ever."
".... Okay, moving on then-"
"Oh wait, I remember something else happened then." The flashback then popped up again as Kirby was shown eating some weird looking Snail slowly trudged his way to the table.
"There you are you little present taker!" The snail yelled out in a rather nasily voice. "Wait until King Dedede gets a hold of you and ohohohohoh you're going to be in trou-ble!"
"Is that a kind of fig pudding?" Kirby asked as he was shown devouring more food.
"No!" The snail yelled out. "We have prove that you took and ate all the presents along the tree along with all you're little kiddie friends. And it surley wasn't an elaborate plan by the majesty to blame you and have everyone else want to execute you that's for sure."
"Oh okay" Kirby said as he continued eating food and then stopped. "Hey wait a minute. I didn't eat any presents, otherwise I'd be coughing up ribbions and wrapping."
"Oh yes you did!" The Snail said jumping on the table. "And you're going to get it Kirby." The snail smiled. "And for finally capturing you King Dedede will finally give me respect and not bop me on the head with a hammer every hour on the hour-" Kirby then swallowed the snail.
"Hmmm, the french sure know how to make raw snail" Kirby said licking his lips as a small little yellow skinned girl with a ponytail came in.
"Oh Kirby there you are" she said running over to him. "I was afraid that Escargoon had found you and was going to fasley arrest you."
"Escargo?" Kirby asked.
"You know, Escargoon" The girl said. "Dedede's personal snail servant, has a real nasily voice-"
"Does he taste like french delicous slime?" Kirby said burping some. "Cause I just ate a snail who was just like that."
The girl then backed away some. "Well uh, I'm just glad you're save and that none of the kids around here will be beaten by the Cappies for having they're presents taken."
"And I'm just glad that this Christmas dish is the best Christmas dish I'll ever remember eating" Kirby said licking his lips. "My compliments, whatever that means, to the Chef."
A Cappy wearing a Chef hat's walked in. "That was suppose to be for everyone Kirby!"
"Cool, my first name is everyone now!" Kirby yelled out. The girl sighed as the flashback ended. "And so that's why I always try and have french food every 20th meal."
"... That also seemed like it was nothing put a pack of lies" Fox called out.
Kirby shook his head. "Nuh uh, I totally ate that snail guy."
"Well what about the stuff about the children being blamed for taking presents?" Fox asked. "You just stole that from WiiboyChris's Christmas story."
"Stealing is fair play" Wolf stated. "Afterall he stole the idea to make a Chrsitmas story from Diana."
"No he didn't, and if he did she just stole it from everyone else so she has no right to complain about any Christmas thievery" Fox then pointed at Wolf. "Though I bet any Holiday story involving you would have some of that mixed in."
"Most, but there is one that would not" Wolf then went over and clawed Kirby hard out of the chair as he sat down on it. "My Christmas tale unlike yours is actually quite truthful and is quite a most interesting story." We then flashback and see Wolf walking down the halls of his main Wolfen ship. "As per usual I had just completed another assingment and was about to cash in on the reward. That is until I saw something quite peculiar on the main room of the bridge" Wolf then walked into the main room and saw Leon sitting in a chair looking more annoyed then usual.
"Ugh, think you could put me out of my misery Wolf?" Leon asked.
Wolf walked over to him. "Odd, you're usually focused on bringing misery to others. Why would wish to inflict it on yourself?"
"Cause I can't inflct it on anyone here" he then pointed over to a little dark panther girl running around screaming and trying to smack into the controls of the trip as Panther was shown trying to grab her put missing. "That idiot Carauso brought his niece over to spend the hoidays and she's wrecking the room and generally being more of a nusiance then those team Star Fox losers."
"Hmmm I somehow doubt that" Wolf stated looking at the girl continue to run around.
"I want to play uncle Panther! What's this? What's that do? Why do you hang out with that lizard and Wolf? Where are the presents? I want a present! Give me a present!" The girl cried out as she continued running along.
Panther sighed. "You're suppose to be on your best behavoir Alliw. Remember what mom and dad said about touching buttons on ships."
"Oh but I like touching buttons!" She said about to touch a button on the main console as Wolf then grabbed her hand. "Hey, let go. I want to press that stuff."
Wolf shook his finger. "Can't let you do that Alliw" the young girl tried scratching at Wolf who was able to duck it. "I do not know you were brought to the main room when you should of just stayed in Panther's quarters" Wolf then shot a look at Panther before glaring back at her. "Or else you're not going to get your present."
"Present?" Alliw said squaling. "I want a present. Give me a present, give me a present, give me a present, give me a present."
"But of course" Wolf then picked her up and carried her into one of the nearby rooms and smiled at her. "Now close your eyes and when I tell you to look, you'll get what's comign to you."
"I hope it's a new super pink death barbietron Over 9000, cause that's what I want and if I don't want it I'll cry and crya and-" Wolf then quickly kicked her into a chamber as he then locked it. She then was shown banging on the chamber. "Hey get me out of here!" She yelled.
"Oh I will" Wolf then pressed a button turning off the windows of the chambers and then one that blocked any audible sound as she couldn't be seen or heard screaming and pounding as he walked back to the bridge. "Well that's one problem taking care of" Wolf said dusting his fingers.
"Wait, did you lock her in one of our bounty prisioner cells?" Leon asked as Wolf nodded. 'Duh, why didn't I think of that?"
"Don't worry, it wasn't a major blunder" Wolf then looked over at Panther. "That'd be yours Caruso. You know I always have to be told when people are coming aboard the ship."
"Hey my brother dropped me on her for the holidays 10 minutes ago through the teleporter" Panther said looking to the other room. "You did remember to turn on the air circulation in there did you?"
Wolf smirked. "You'd think I'd be cruel enough to let her choke to death?"
"That does sound like you" Leon commented.
Panther grunted. "Hey that's not funny, when it's happening to my neice."
"Jeez since when did you care so much about family anyway?" Leon asked.
Panther sighed. "Well it all began before I joined up with you two..." the flashback then ended.
Wolf crossed his arms. "I won't bore you with Panther's story but I will mention that it shows a whole new side of his perversion I never would of guessed. It also made me pass a "no family members ever to be allowed on the ship" rule which fortuanley everyone has followed."
"Yeah and I bet you dumped that kid in an airlock and ejected her into space like the cruel jerk you are" Fox stated.
Wolf then got out of the chair. "Actually no she returned home fine but learned a good lesson about not being an annoying pest. If only I could teach you that lesson Fox."
"You're the one who needs to learn it more Wolf" Fox said jumping over him and sitting on the chair. "Anyway that brings me to my story. You see it all began back right after Adventures and Krystal was still new to the team-" An explosion was then heard as the four looked around confused to see the doors blown in. "Okay, who the hell was that?"
"It was me!" Said an eccentric looking video game executive director, aka Metal Gear Creator Hideo Kojima wearing a blue parka as he rolled onto the ground. "I was just passing by and saw a huge pile of snow where my secret fort was located."
"This the dinosaurs fort you old commie!" Game and Watch yelled.
"No dinosaurs is one of the few plot twists out there enough I won't touch" Hideo was then shown holding some bombs. "So anyway I saw my old fort and realized it's been awhile I payed her a visit. Luckily I was carrying these bombs which can blow through even the biggest piles of snow." He then threw one out the window as it blew up some snow several yards away. "See, snow tastic."
"Are they bombtastic too?" Kirby then ran over and swallowed one of the bombs as it blew up in his stomach. "Mr. bombastic... dosen't feel fanstatic in me estomago" Kirby said moaning in pain.
"Don't worry, I can always cure what ails you" Hideo said holding up his phone. "I'll just have my special lady friends come over and give you a good rub down."
Fox raised an eyebrow. "Special lady friends?"
Hideo nodded. "Yup as a top executive I can call in all the girls I want to give me special services."
"Oh you mean hookers."
"Well I wouldn't call them hookers. I'd call them a super elite force of dangerous beautiful women ready to kill and make love at the same time, though yeah I suppose some would call them hookers."
"Why don't you call nine of your super eliteds to Brawl Manor?" Wolf suggested. "there's a special mission that requires them to dance in order to save the world from another nuclear holocaust scneario."
"Alright, then I'll be the hero for once, unlike that Snake that I created." Hideo then held out his hand. "Come on guys. We'll take my special executive jet back to the mansion past all this snow and get on with our super secret mission." Hideo then ran out of the room.
"Well back in my day the only super secret was the conspiracy of what happened to the super dinosaurs but anything to get away from these commie unapprecative hooligasn!" Game and Watch said walking out.
"Yeah and the mansion has food and I want me some food!" Kirby said running out as well.
Fox sighed. "Good now we can finally..." Fox blinked. "Hey! I didn't get to share my Christmas story."
"Oh, poor Foxy" Wolf said sarcastically. "Is the little baby sad he didn't get to share his christmas story?"
"Wold of been far better then yours" Fox stated. "It would of involved me and Krystal getting to know each other more and-" Looks to see Wolf has left as he grimmaced. "Great the only time I would of wanted more of this stupid chapter and she actually decides to end it. Werehog better have a much better final chapter then this, and better start getting updated soon" he muttered before taking off as well as the camera panned out.
THE END!
Well that's another chapter down that I hope you liked. Came out as well as I wanted it and hey the fact none of the people in the chapter are complaining means something right? So anyway remember to review... a lot of this story and I'm still accepting any ideas or suggestions you may have. To get as many viewers... I mean uh because I like hearing all your nice chsitmas ideas and such.