Well everyone with ten chapters down and two to go we're in the home stretch. We're also in Christmas Eve. I really want to try and get this all done by Christmas so you may see a double update from me (Triple Including Chapter 19 of The "Night Of The Werehog: Brawl Edition) So know I work extra hard even on Christmas Eve. As Per Usual Smash Brothers Dosen't Belong to me, and neither does Christmas. Or the Twelve Days Of Christmas. Or a certain other thing parodied in this chapter. Still hope you're able to enjoy the stuff shown here though. Remember to review if you do, or don't. Either way I do want to know especially since I'm so close to that magic 40 reviews (would of liked 50 but hey what can you do?).
"Another Generic Smash Brothers Christmas Story Aka The Twelve Nights Of Smashmas Chapter Eleven"
By DianaGohan.
Instead of panning to a snowy backdrop, a crowdy mall or even an empty section of the city, the camera instead panned into a television studio as a TV crowd made up of various characters was cheering loudly. The camera then focused on a weirdo looking blue threaded puppet creature who walked in and waved at the crowd as they cheered even louder.
"Greetings folks, I am Geno and yes I am indeed awesome." The crowd cheered more as Geno flipped the microphone he was holding. "Now for Chapter Eleven of this story we're going to switch things up a bit. Now as you may know, we're up to the eleven pipers piping, and instead of the smashers looking for the pipers, the pipers are looking for the Smashers in a special edition of..." A special Neon sign then appeared behind Neon as the auidence cheered.
"SMASH BROTHER IDOL!" The crowd yelled out loudly as they cheered some more.
"That's right you stupid people... I mean uh lovley auidence." Geno held out his hand. "Now all our contenstants have to do is not toally suck and they'll be picked as the eleven pipers for the big present and win not being horribly maimed by yours truley offstage." A light then shone on the sideline as three panels were shown being focused on. "So let's meet our judges of this so called talent show shall we?" Jigglypuff then walked in waving at everyone. "Some call her the Pokemon Diva. Others the Pinkpuff Ball of death. And even others someone who can KO you really really cheapily in mid air using multiple jumps before you have a chance to even get close to being back on stage, give it up for Jigglypuff."
The crowd waved as Jigglypuff blew them kisses. "I hope to hear some great music today everyone!" She said causing yet more applause.
Geno looked at a card. "Our second judge hails from Kongo Jungle and his hobbies include beating alligators, swinging on vines and eating lots and lots of bananas. Give it up for Donky Kong!" Donkey Kong then walked in and waved at the crowd.
"Ooh me do it all for the nookie, and by nookie me mean bananas cause me like bananas!" He said as the crowd continued stupidly cheering.
Geno then smiled. "And finally the only guy who may almost be as awesome as me but not really. A legendary mercanery and all around badass fighter and just general badass, Solid Snake!"
Snake's camolofauge then shorts out as he is shown sitting already in the third panel. "I'm sure there's going to be a lot of (beep)in dumbasses trying to (swear)ing sing that I'm going to rip to a lot of (beep)ing pieces tonight."
Geno wiped away a tear. "A guy after my own heart, if I had one. You know super badass demon puppet and all" Geno flipped the microphone and spoke into it. "And now for our first piper of the evening, give it up for... a... Yellow Alloy named... uh, Sawaghia." The auidence looked confused. "Hey that's what it says people. Anyway just give it up okay?" The auidence cheered again as the yellow alloy walked out.
"Okay you pieces of grefili lomtbo, I'm going to lay down some pealitis old school style" Sawaghia said spinning his pipe. "Now if you don't like my falaias you know what you can do with the grelioas-"
"Hey (Swear) shut the (beep) up and start!" Snake yelled out. "If Diana(beep)on actually bothered using spell check it'd be giving her a lot of (Beep)in dirty looks for your dialogue."
The Yellow alloy mumbled. "Rastin frasin Rastlafraser" he said before taking out his pipe as he started to play. Unfouratnely since this is a fanfic it's hard to describe just what the audio of a pipe is but it obviously wasn't very good as most of the auidence was shown screeching in pain hearing him play. After awhile he stopped as the three judges looked at each other.
"Well... I can say that was a very allergo pace but your progression and tone leave a lot to be desired" Jigglypuff stated rubbing her head.
"Oooh that no good. It make DK Rap for Melee look good" Donkey Kong said eating a banana.
Snake pionted at him. "That was the worse piece of (swear) I ever heard. Seriously you (beep)in piece of (swear) have no (beep)in talent, no (beep0in class and probably praticed by sticking yoru hand in a (swear) ass and blowign into the pipe for five (beep)in minutes not knowing that somehow made you sound even (swear)ier. If I was allowed I'd have (beep)in bombed you before you even had a chance to infect the air with that (slur of pofanities) you'd be stupid enough to try and call music."
The Yellow alloy was shown crying. "You're a beratali!" Sawaghia cried out before quickly walking off the stage.
Geno rubbed his head confused. "Yeah uh he clearly isn't one of the pipers. Hopefully this next contenstant has what it takes". Looks at notecard. "Give it up all the way from a different fighting tournament entirley... Voldo... uh no last name given." A backwards walking creep in bondage leather was shown walking on the stage as everyone looked confused.
"I think you're in the wrong series" Jigglypuff called out.
"Hey I had a cameo in chapter 43" Voldo whined. "Besides I want a chance to show off my mad pipe blowing skills". He then started blowing on a pipe as the auidence cried out in pain. "Oh oops, sorry about that" Voldo then switched the pipe around so he was shown playing the other end which actually sounded like music. "Kind of always get those confused being blind and all." The auidence cheered some at his playing as the light then shown on the judges yet again.
"You're style is rough and leaves a lot to be polished but you defintley have potential" Jigglypuff said giving him a thumbs up.
"Oooh, DK gives you three bananas... no wait those DK bananas, you no have them!" DK said pointing at Voldo angrily.
Snake crossed his arms. "Eh not bad. I mean it wasn't really that (beep)in good either but compared to that last (swear)hole it was actually music so I guess I shouldn't complain that (swear)ing much."
"Well with three positive scores that means you move into the top eleven spot" Geno said pointing at the other side of the stage which Voldo was shown slowly walking to.
"Oh cool does that mean I make it to the finals?" he asked.
"Unlike other idols that have millions of sing ins and try outs and results show we only have the one so anyone who gets enough good grades will make it in." Voldo then walked all the way there as a light shone on the other side of the stage. "Next up we've got a very special guest star the... magical talking... boat?" A red sail boat then paddled it's way as the auidence staired at it confused.
"Hey I'm no ordinary boat. I'm The King of the Red Lions, or TKoRL for short" TKoRL said taking out his pipe. "And while waiting for DG to give a certain story another review thought I'd delight the auidence with my pipe playing skills."
"What kind of (beep)in boat can play a pipe?" Snake asked.
"The same one that can talk, so check this out." The boat started playing fairly well as the auidence was shown cheering some. "And check this out, I can sing along while I'm playing" He started singing and playing at one.
"I'm such an amazing talking boat,
An amazing talking playing boat,
I can play and sing all Christmas long,
as long as I play and sing this one Christmas Song
I made uppppppppppppp!" The light then shone back on the judges.
Jigglypuff held out her hand. "I can't say I approve of the Melodey too much-"
"Hey I was a good character!" A small Rito girl was shown crying out.
"Not you!" Jigglypuff yelled and turned to the boat. "As I was saying the melody, not so good. But the actual craftmanship was done well and a little work on the lyrics and you could have quite a career ahead of you."
"Me remember time Lanky ride around boat to defeat giant quillfish by setting up electric fields" DK said rubbing his chin. "Me forget what that ahve to do with this but me think this was good."
"I wouldn't quit you're (beep)in day job of being a rarley used Knightrider boat b(swear) but it's not the worst (beep)in thing I've heard" Snake said lighting a ciagrette. "Far far from the best but defintley not the (beep)in worst."
"Well that's enough of a recommendation to get you one of the piper spots" Geno said as the boat was shown driving over by Voldo.
"Alright, making my way to the top!" TKoRL screamed out as he was shown pariking in the "winner's" circle.
Geno looked at his cards. "Our fourth contenstant is the Ultimate Life form who apparently dedicated his tune to a special someone".
Shadow was shown warping in holding a guitar. "I'm no piper but since I was deined a chance to sing my song in Chapter 13 of Werehog, I'm singing it now in memory of dear Maria." Shadow starts strumming his guitar and singing.
"Oh Maria how I miss youuuuuuuuuuu,
You are the best through and throughhhhhhhhhh,
I remember when you were shot on the Arccccccc,
And that tore my whole life aparttttttttttttttt.
So it's Christmas time againnnnnnnnnnnn,
And I'm messing my best frienddddddddddd,
But I know you're in my hearttttttttttttttt-"
"DK made a jungle fart!" DK yelled out as Jigglypuff and Snake were shown trying to move away from him.
"How dare you interrupt my heartfelt song you stupid ape!" Shadow yelled out as he was shown teleporting in front of Donkey Kong and throwing energy bolts which started flying around the set and causing explosions.
"Uh, looks like we're having some technical difficulties folks" Geno said barley ducking a fireball. "So we're going to have to take a break for awhile-" an energy bolt then hit the camera as it went off line for a moment.
Okay while we're off line I'd like to remind all of you that "Night Of The Werehog" Chapter Ninteen is coming, and it will blow... you're mind. I'm talking epic explosions, epic confrontations, and a secret that you never saw coming. It's a confranation years in the making that finally shows itself with more drama and humor then ever thought possible. This Christmas eve, Halloween will come and kick you in the teeth and remind you it has life again especially with something this intense. So watch out for that and remember for epic storytelling you know who to turn to... that'd be me DG in case you didn't know.
And now back to our reguarly scheduled story already in progress.
The camera then came back on as Geno was waving at it. "Welcome back folks" he said looking around. "Well fortaunley we were able to tranqulizer shadow" and out ofi t Shadow was shown lying on the ground besides TKoRL and Voldo. "His auidition went well enough besides trying to roast DK. Jigglypuff said his emotions were true and heartfelt even if his obvious word stretching could of fit better in with the beat. Snake said he was a "(Beep)in emo dork who needs to get a (swear)ing life really really badly" and DK couldn't really be heart over trying to knock Shadow off him but his grunts was good enough to give Shadow the third piper spot. Auiditiong for the 4th is our next contenstent. All the way from Tellius, and one of those people fans were really really diappointed didn't make it into Brawl, introducing Micaiah!" A young whtie haired girl wearing a red uniform, black tights and brown boots walked in and waved at the auidence.
"Uh hello" she said a bit nervously as a couple of birds were shown floating around her. "You all look like such a nice crowd and... I hope you like this little preforemnce" She then took out a flute and started playing it. The auidence was shown loudly cheering at that as she stopped and bowed before them as they cheered even more.
Jigglypuff was shown clapping. "Brava, brava! One of the best preforemnces I heard from a newcomer in quite awhile."
DK nodded. "Yeah you sound good. It no DK rap but it sound good."
Snake smirked a bit. "You have some (beep)in talent kid, and if you were a few years older I'd totally consider (swearing) you right in the (beep).
"Hey, that's my wife!" A spiky brown haired Rouge weilding a knife wearing a Red breast blate aromr, tan pants and brown boots was heard saying.
"Congrats on (beep)ing that" Snake said as the guy looked at him angrily.
Micaiah smiled at him. "It's okay Sothe. I'm sure he meant that in the nicest way possible" she then walked over by the other winners as she looked down at Shadow. "Oh my, does he need any medical attention?"
"Not unless you want hear him start ranting again" TkoRL warned sounding fairly bored.
Geno took out another card. "Now it's time for the fifth potential piper. This time it's an assist trophy that I'm sure you all remember from such stories as "Smashing Something New Every Day" and "Night Of The Werehog: Brawl Edition" with a personality stolen from Nickelodeon's most popular cartoon. Give it up for Stafy!" The Starfish then floated on stage.
"Uh, what am I doing again?" he asked confused.
"GIving your audition" Geno pointed out.
"Oh..." Stafy looked around confused. "For what?"
"To be a pied piper."
"For what?"
"This story!"
"This is a story?"
"Yes, so are you ready?"
"Ready for what again?"
Geno groaned. "Just play something on your pipe."
"Oh I can play" Stafy said taking out a guitar as he started playing.
"Twinkle, Twinkle, Stafy Star!
I made myself a sandwich.
Crazy Hand made it fresh
It tastes like beans and butter
And it smells like it's been dead!
Singing stuff is hard so I use
A pointy pencil!
Pointy,Pointy,Pointy
Pointy,Pointy,And Point.
P.U. what's that horrible smell?"
Stafy stops for a second!" Drum solo!" He yells as he imtiates the drums before singing again.
I have a head, I think
It ends in a point, or not.
Pointy,Pointy,Pointy
Pointy,Pointy,Point.
This song is over
Except for this line:
You win this round
Mr Cheese!" Everyone is shown looking disgusted at Stafy as many are shown falling down and vomitting and being dragged away from the area.
Jigglypuff looks away. "I... don't think I can say anything about that one" she said shivering some.
"Me say bad. You bad, bad singing star" Donkey Kong said waving his finger.
"For once the ape is (beep)in right" Snake said crossing hs arms. "Well if saying bad twice was enough to describe how horrible you were anyway. Seriously go do the world a favor and just (beep)in die."
"Hey that's my job" Geno said blasting Stafy into atoms. "Don't worry folks he dies a lot around here so he should be okay... probably. Anyway time for hopefully the fifth actual piper around here. Give it up for our next guest, hailing all the way from Icicle mountain, it's... Paul The Polar Bear."
A Polar bear with sunglasses walks in. "First off, I just want to say Popo and Nana suck and I hope they die in that Halloween story." Some of the auidence boos at that as he talkes out his pipe. "Secondly" starts playing some of his pipe as the crowd starts cheering at that. "Yeah if only you did it for that first thing too" he muttered before putting his pipe away.
Jigglypuff buzzes in. "Very nice though a bit jagged but hey I can see you going very far with the amount of talent you have."
"Diddy said bears good attached to bird and since you know attached to no bird me think you only sort of good" DK stated looking around. "oh also where me banana go?"
Geno was shown muching it quickly as the auidence looked at him. "What, being a host is hungry work you know."
Snake thought for a second. "Yuo seem to be one of the biggest (beepin) jerk(swears) I've ever met in my life but you're mustic's (beep)in okay so I guess it all balances out... somewhat." Paul is then shown walking to the others.
"Alright, seat at the table, and hopefully chairs over those climbers faces!" Paul yelled before appearing in front of other four winners.
Geno looked at his card. "The hopeful sixth piper is none is another Assist Trophy Weirdo. This time one weilding a sowrd insead of loads of Chaos energy, a possible gun, or huge amounts of stupidity. Give a sort of awesome introdcution to Samurai Goroh!" The Samura then waved his sword around randomly in front of the crowd as they cheered a bit.
"Thanks. I figured if I was such a great bounty hunter/racer/assist, I could also attach a piper onto there and show off my powerful resume to uh... those who fear my power and wish they were as good as me." He then takes out a pipe and starts playing a bit as the crowd lightly cheers.
Jigglypuff rubs her chin. "Like your swordsmanship skills it feels very wild and unresponsible. Not terrible by any means but defintley something I'd try improving before I made a career out of it."
"Me give it 3 barrels out of 5, which means me going to throw three barrels at you" DK said throwing three barrels at Samurai Goroh who was able to chop them to pieces.
"Yeah if only you handled that tune that well then otherwise it might of been hit with a marginal amount of any (beep)in talent" Snake said sighing and giving a thumbs up. "Still I don't want to be hear forever and since I could actually stand to listen to your (swear)ing music again that's a good enough reason to pass your (beep) for one of the piper spots."
Goorh cheered and went with the other six fnalsits. "Alright all my dreams are coming true" he said looking around quickly. "Which will soon be all of your nightmares"
"Yeah right" Geno said looking around as someone whispered something in his ear. "Before we get to our next contenstant it's come to my attention that this chapter isn't christmasey enough so allow me to add a bit of the holiday spirit to it." A few decorations were shown hanging around the stage as a small litttle tree was dragged in front of Geno as he read some words dryly on paper. "Eggnog, seasons greettings, Jesus, Presents, Bah Humbug, and anything else remotley related to Christmas". He then threw the list away. "The seventh potential hopeful comes to us from the Star Fox world and is another really well loved character people wanted to see get actaully put in Brawl, please give it up for Krystal!" People were shown cheering wildley at this annoucement as a stagehand came in and whipered something to Geno. "What, Really? Man so not awesome" he sighed and looked at the auidence. "Apparently Krystal's personality hasn't been defined yet... I mean she's busy with other things and can't make it here for this one" People were heard booing loudly. "Yeah I know I just hope that this back up guy is just as good. Also hailing from Star Fox and the reenedition of a famous Robot that Brawl made sort of popular again, give it up for Rob64!"
The robot then wheeled it's way in. "Thank you organic units" he said picking up a pipe. "My memory banks dedcits that this will give you a sufficent amoutn of enjoyement to hear me play, bop" R.O.B64 then started playing, making everyone sound a bit impressed.
Jigglypuff rubbed her chin. "Though I do like your preformence I'm afraid you're missing a whole lot of soul. It's not something you can just program in and makes your preforemnce though technically beautiful really lacking."
"Oooh since you not made of no jungle technology you made of bad robo parts and must be taken down" Donkey Kong said throwing barrels at ROB64 knocking him to the ground.
Snake twirled his ciagreette. "Like the puffball said all techncial BS but none of the actual expierence to (swear)ing know how to use it. Hope someone actually programs into you how to (beep)in play at least a bit better then the (swear) you're trying to shovel out as music now but yeah otherwise I'd say your in." ROB64 nodded and just headed over to the winners circle.
"Well with seven pipers chosen and four more to go it's time to take a cmmerical break!" Geno yelled as the auidence looked confused. "Nah no commerical breaks. You already get enough of those around here with all those pop up ads appearing and asking you to buy on random crap every time you try logging in . No more of that if we can help it thank you very much." Geno shuffeled through his cards. "Our next preforemer" Geno looks at the list confused. "Wait, it says here Jigglypuff. That can't be right though."
Jigglypuff sighed. "It's not me. It's just my cousin."
"How many people have cousins around here?" Someone cried out.
"Apparently as many as the plot demnads" Geon said as another Jigglypuff was shown walking out of stage. "So let's give it up for... Jigglypuff's cousin." Some people clapped confused at this as the other jigglypuff bowed.
"Thank you. Though I know I'm getting in anyway" he then winked at Jigglypuff. "I'd like you all to hear the brillance of my preformence." He then starts to sing, rather badly as everyone is shown trying to cover they're ears and ignorane his crakcing tone. The music stopped as he looked at everyone. "So what do you think? Genius right?"
Jigglypuff growled at him angrily. "That was an absolute load of terrible, implausible rubbish spit up, chewed out and somehow recycled enough that someone as braindead as you would call it music. You wouldn't know a chord if it bit you on the ass, you wouldn't know an andate from an allergo if you woudl schooled for 10 years, and you think you have what it akes to make it big even in thsi story? No you don't. Now get out of here right now before I take someone elses suggestion about what to do with annoying cousins and find a good airlock to suff you're face into as you cry out for me to let you go before you get pulled into the empty vaccum of space where no one can ever be bothered by your terrible prefomrence every again."
Snake smirked. "Not bad (beep)in puffball. Had some potential to be a good rant at least."
"Oooh what rant mean?" Donkey Kong asked. "Also me hate that song that was just played."
"Hmmm bunch of ingrates" JThe cousin said flipping off the three as Jigglypuff then bounchds the cousin hard into another room. "Mom... always liked you best" the cousin muttered out befoer passing out.
"Yeah I'm sure if we cared about such non awesome stuff we wouldn't be reading this storry, even just this part" Geno looked at another card. "We're running low on time and patience for Diana to continue on folks so it seems that we're going to be going in groups from now on. Which that said in mind, meet who could be the last four members of the ever forgetting about it eleven pipers pipping, teh eleite beat agents!" A group of four terrange in leather clothing walks in and waves.
"Thanks for enjoying old style Japanese humor" said the lead guy holding out his hand. "Allow us to return the favor by sharing some of our msuical heritage as well." The four then start playing a soft, beauitful Asian Pipe track in melody with each other as the auidnece is shown clapping heavily to that.
"A perfect prefomrence" Jigglypuff said bowing to them. "Surley nothing can be like that can ever be reported again."
"Me wish it was not what she said cause that so good" Donky Kong said nodding. "It go on pipers thingie."
"So does a lot of (swearing) crap you guys think is actually close to (beep)in good but I have to say this one is sort of a keeper" Solid snake said poitning at them. "Just don't try playing for any of my (beep)in games and you're good."
"Very awesome thne" the four agents were shown walking in as the camera buzzed. "Well with the eleven pippers found that's it for the show. Join us against next time for more searching of talent around america of singers or at least people who think they can sing or play pipers in the 10th billionth Smash Idol ever." Geno holds out his hand. "This is Geno saying if it's not awesome, then it's not worth saving. later." He then walks out as the camera pans out.
THE END!
In truth not my best since I made this at least 3AM when I was really tired but hey at least it's done right so that's something? Hopefully next chapter will be up soon. But first I need some oh so important rest. (Diana falls askeep in front of computer as she mutters in her sleep) Review.. enjoy... people... review... enjoy.. or else... make you sleep... like this... except... the pain kind. Oh and Merry Chrsitmas even and such. (Falls asleep and starts eating as story ends even more so).