Chapter 21

I pulled on my hoodie, and I instantly became unrecognizable to everyone else. The doctors were too busy bustling about than to pay attention to their surroundings. The nurses took one glance at me and didn't suspect a thing. Thank god. Or else that would've been quite a fail, for my part.

I walked out of the hospital and looked around. I'm not exactly sure where should I go. Sherlock wouldn't care less, John and Mary would send me back to the hospital, Mycroft doesn't want anything to do with me, Sherrinford is gone, I refuse to say 'dead' until he's confirmed dead. For now he is simply gone.

And then there's Jim. Jim, who I always crawl back to. Jim, who's fucked up my life, and yet I still end up by his side. Jim, who's standing right opposite me, across the street. Wait, what?! But, yes, it is him! He had his hands in his pockets, and he was staring right at me, waiting for me to make a move.

There was something wrong. Something in the air felt wrong. He looked like he had this greyish glow around him. Which is weird, because humans don't glow. Then some bus blocked my view of him. Stupid bus. And when it moved away, Jim was gone. Like in the movies, where the crazy stalker or suspicious person stares at you, and then poof they're gone.

I shook my head, convinced that I was hallucinating or something. I shoved my hands into my pockets and headed to 221B Baker Street, where Sherlock might take me in. Being homeless sucks.

It was dark when I arrived at 221B. Mrs Hudson hugged me, offering tea. I declined politely, saying that I was too tired. But really, all I wanted was to curl up in a deep hole and die. I hurried up the stairs to Sherlock's flat. I didn't bother knocking, because I knew Sherlock wouldn't actually care.

Sherlock was seated at the dining table -well more of the experiments table- , his eyes glued to the microscope. He didn't seem to acknowledge my arrival.

"Is it okay if I crash here tonight?" I asked him.

"Assuming that you have nowhere else to go, then yes, I have no choice but to give you permission." Sherlock said, not even glancing at me. He didn't ask about my condition, he didn't even care. It's as if I wasn't his sister, who he used to care about so much.

"Hm." I huffed and went into what used to be John's room. Very tidy. Of course, it's John I'm talking about. I swear that man is OCD at heart.

I stumbled onto the bed, pulling the covers up until my nose, the way I like it. I fell asleep instantly.

I woke up to heavy footsteps and yelling. I was still half-asleep, so I only heard Sherlock's voice, and a vaguely familiar voice. "WHERE IS SHE?!" The voice yelled.

"She's not here." Sherlock answered flatly. Did they mean me? A few thuds, quick footsteps moving around the flat. "For god's sake, she's not here!"

"Where else could she be?!" The voice questioned, not bothering to tone it down. "Molly is upset with her, John and Mary would've sent her back, Mycroft wouldn't take her! So I ask you again, before I tear this whole place down, where is she?!"

"Sh-"

"DON'T LIE TO ME! I know she's under your protection! I know she's here somewhere!"

"I don't know where she is." Sherlock was quiet. And suddenly, I knew who it was. The man I never wanted to see again. The man I loved. I have to get out of here. I pulled the blanket away. I knew he might find me in here, so I quickly wore my hoodie, grabbed my bag and wrenched the window open. It wasn't a long drop, but I was still cautious. I took a deep breath and jumped out.

I landed with a thud and looked around, making sure no one saw me. After feeling secure enough, I briskly walked by Speedy's, blending in with the other people. I turned around the corner, and was just about to enter a bookstore when someone grabbed my upper arm.

"Did you really think you could run from me?" His hot breath tickled my neck. Jim. Oh my god, please don't go crawling back to him, please don't go back to this lying murderous spider!

"Worth a shot." I yanked my arm away from him and started walking faster. Stupid me, thinking I could leave without him finding out!

I felt him walk beside me, our arms bumping. "You know, you really don't have any idea how to give a pregnant girl some space, do you?" I snapped.

He put both hands up and moved a little further from me, but still close enough for me to breath in his scent. Okay, I have to not do this. Smelling guys? "How could you still be mad at me?" He asked me. He did not just ask that question!

"How could I?! How could you, forcing me to get a baby I don't even want!" I stopped walking, and finally looked at him in the eye, glaring.

"I get that I should've asked for your permission, and I know you wanted to wait for marriage." He said.

"Then why didn't you respect my decisions?" I asked him quietly, trying not to cry.

He was quiet, but I could see in his eyes that he was feeling very overwhelmed right now. The way it's dilated, and his eyes turned black, but not the murderous look he gives before killing someone. No, this one was complex. It was lust, mixed with love. Two very different things.

"Can't you see? I want you so much, it kills me every time to see you upset, but it murders me to not be able to see your beautiful face when I wake up in the morning." He pleaded. "You have this...this power over me that drives me insane if I couldn't see you. I know you're bad for me, but I need you so much."

"You're a bad influence, James Moriarty." I said as I pulled him to kiss me. Our lips met, and it felt like explosions all around me, but I was safe as long as I was with Jim.

I am a fool. I am very stupid. I am such a failure. I thought as I lay in bed, Jim asleep next to me. Why does he seem to have control over me? I always come running back to him, even when he fucked up. Why? Why does he get control over me? Why is it, that no matter how bad the situation, I'll always come running back to Jim like a fool I am?

And now I'm snuggling beside him. Wow. If this is love, I don't want to have it. Take it away from me. And yes, I just quoted Tauriel from The Hobbit. I am so fucked.

I tried not to wake him up, as I slid out of bed and padded to the kitchen. I opened the fridge door and looked for some food. He had the cookies and cream ice cream, which he's not really a fan of. Meaning he left it for me, if I ever came back. How sweet of him.

I closed the fridge door and nearly got a heart attack when I saw Jim standing right next to me. "Fu- Jim! Pregnant, remember?"

"Sorry." He said, wrapping his arms around me. I shouldn't, but then...

I laid my head against his chest. "Jim." I said.

"Hm?"

"Why me?" I asked him the question that I've been dying to ask. "Out of all the pretty girls in the world, why me? Why do you show so much love and care for me?"

He pulled away and held me at arm's length, as if he was trying to size me up. "Why would you ask such a question?"

"I asked first!" I pouted like a five year old.

"My pet, you do know that I love a smart, beautiful girl...or guy. Well. Either one. And you're the smartest, most beautiful, sexiest girl I've met." I blushed when he said that. Me? Beautiful, sexy? No way! But whatever floats your boat, Jimmy boy.

"So you're not doing this to get to Sherlock?" I asked. The BIG question. His expression changed. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Sherlock? You thought this whole thing was about Sherlock? Sherry, this, between us, this isn't for Sherlock. This is for you, me and the promise of us. I didn't kidnap you to get to Sherlock. I didn't fall in love with you for Sherlock. I didn't get you pregnant to get Sherlock. I did all of that, to get the woman I need. I did all that because I love you. After all this time, you still don't know how much I love you?"

Speechless. I am utterly speechless. "Saying it...is it enough a proof?" I asked him.

"Do you want me to make love to you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear? No, that's not enough. The proof is, I want to have a baby with you. I want a tiny little baby Sherry and Jim. I would stop being an evil slimeball for our baby." I grinned. "If that's not love, I don't know what is." He kissed the top of my head.

"Have I convinced my beautiful girl that I love her?" I smiled and nodded.

"Good." He got down on one knee and asked me the magical question, the question every girl wants to hear.

"Sherrelyn Holmes, will you marry me?"