AN: This touches remotely on 3x11 and 3x12, but not much. It's more me ab-libbing what would have maybe transpired had she been alive rather than killed off. But in a very Careese-y way that would NOT happen on the show lol. But who can fault me XD

Happy birthday APFW! I'm sorry the show gave you such a crappy birthday present last year! But since I know it's your birthday today I'm going to spam all my stories with updates just for you! Well all except Entangled II since that will get an update tomorrow :D

The facility she was staying in Buffalo wasn't just state of the art, it was comfy, and homey. It actually made her feel better. The food was tons better (now that she was allowed solid foods again), the atmosphere just was overall better here than a hospital. Her son accompanied her to Buffalo when she was transported here but had to stay in Manhattan with his dad for school. She, Taylor, and Paul all agreed that it was best for her to go to Italy by herself to get better. Taylor wanted to accompany her there, but both her and Paul wished for him to focus on school since he would be graduating this upcoming year. Finch already arranged for her son to come in on Thanksgiving next week, and Christmas to spend time with her.

She had been transported to Buffalo two days ago, she couldn't take the dependency much more, but unfortunately she was still so weak and tired. John showed up here, yesterday. It was clear he meant to stay with her until she left for Rome, because he had a small duffel bag filled with a few changes of clothing with him.

She watched him. Joss was tired of the run around she was getting from him. Something was definitely up, something he wasn't ready to talk about, and it gnawing at her. The last few hours she had been stewing on the way to approach him. Joss softly linked their fingers together she drew in his strength, his warmth. Joss shifted a bit which earned her a gruff sound from John before he gently withdrew his hand to fluff her pillows for her.

"John, relax, I can move." She chided.

He didn't bother to respond, just contently continued to fluff and try to make her comfortable. She eyed him, glad to see some color back in his cheeks. He was forgetting the fact that he had been shot too. He had nearly died thanks to Simmons too. She just thanked god that not only she survived, but so did he. Losing John wasn't an option, just as much as losing her wasn't an option for him.

"Not that I'm complaining about having you fluff my pillows, fetch me water, and overall take care of me to the point of hovering….BUT why are you? I have doctors and nurses for that, don't you have those numbers to work from your super computer?" Joss asked, curious. John had been evading question after question about Harold, Shaw, and why he was with her rather than helping their friends. His rough sigh told her he was uninterested in answering her question this time too.

"I'm going to make you some soup, Joss." He slowly stood up from the chair, clearly making a hasty retreat rather than explain just what exactly was going on. She reached out, moaning slightly at the pain, but snatched his hand with her only good one. "Joss, you are going to pop a stitch!" he fussed.

"Then stop running away from this, and talk to me. Every single time I ask you about our friends, or ask about those people we saved, or about why you're not there you get all secretive and run away. No more of that, please, I can see something is bothering you. Talk to me." She ordered softly. She couldn't do squat, at least helping John with some obvious emotional issues would make her feel slightly better at the lack of doing anything else. When he just quietly stood beside her bed, appearing like he was still contemplating bolting, she continued. "What did you have to do to get Shaw to let you come with me?" she asked going for a teasing remark, maybe she'll get somewhere quicker with him.

"Nothing I didn't ask to leave, I just left." He tugged his hand free, clearly thinking the discussion was over. "Now I'm getting you that soup. Stay put, Joss." It was his turn to order her, before he disappeared right before her eyes.

Something was definitely wrong, she could hear it and see it in John's voice and eyes respectively. He was upset by something. What, she wasn't quite sure, but she was damned well going to find out. He was just lucky he could keep on escaping from her because she had no energy, strength, and physically couldn't go after him. But that wouldn't be that way for long, because Finch was sending her to his preferred physical therapist one that helped him so much. And one she was heading to see in a few days.

John had mentioned he was coming with her to Italy. She at first thought it was great, John helping her recover, and they could then discuss some things like what happened at the morgue. But now she wasn't so sure that it was great. It seemed to her John was running not only from their conversation about what was bothering him, but, seemed to be running from their friends as well. Which was not him at all, he valued Finch, valued his friendship, and the job he had been given.

Joss cursed her unmoving arm, while using her good left one, and picked up her cell. John would be busy making her soup from scrap which was delicious but time consuming. The man was an amazing cook. She was going to get spoiled at having John cook meals for her that when she was better, she was going to want it all the time. She quietly clicked Shaw's name, determined to get to the bottom of this. She could call Finch but she had been told previous times that he was a very private person, so getting him to tell her about what was bothering John wasn't going to happen. But Shaw seemed to enjoy annoying John, so maybe she'd oust what was going on that she didn't know thanks to being in a coma and nearly dying.

She waited and waited, but got no answer and that wasn't like Shaw, she always answered. She blinked when she heard John's voice. "Do you want chicken noodle or….what are you doing?" he demanded as she wiggled over a bit to replace her phone back on the table beside her. She couldn't help but think him cute as his hands were on his hips; a dark glare aimed her way, and looking devastatingly handsome sans 'man-in-the-suit' attire. He should go with the jeans/black button down shirt more often, along with the au-naturale look he was sporting for his brutally cropped short salt n' pepper hair. Scruffy and angry John was sexy as hell. "I thought I told you, if you wanted to call Taylor, I'd grab the phone for you!"

"You did but I didn't call Taylor, I called Shaw." She said pointing out the clear loop-hole in his statement. "So I didn't disobey anything."

"Carter…." She rolled her eyes at his exasperated tone. He was worse than her doctors and nurses.

"What, you keep running away from my questions so I figured to call someone who might give me the scoop on what's going on that I missed but she didn't answer the phone."

"Nothing, it doesn't matter anymore. You're alive."

"Stop it, John, stop treating me stupid!" She snapped, getting angry.

"I'm not."

"The hell you aren't! I know something is bothering you, something you won't tell me. Why? Tell me right now, right this second what the hell is going on with you. You refuse to talk about our friends, and when you do you sound angry. What happened?"

But before he could say anything her cell rang. She glared at the thing for interrupting, but, she had to see if it was her son. John grabbed it for her, handing it to her. She sighed seeing it was Fusco. "Hi," she greeted irritably, raking John with a hard look.

"Well hello to you too, Ms. Sunshine."

"Sorry, but John and I are having a bit of a disagreement."

"What else is new, but, he's the reason I'm calling. Can you put him on?"

"Sure," she agreed, before she pulled the phone back, and put it on speakerphone. "He's right here, Fusco." She wasn't going to be left out of the loop on this.

"Wonder boy, glasses and Lady Insane need your help."

"Not interested." John said and Joss stared at him in shock. She furrowed her brows as she stared at him intently, what the hell was going on? "They'll be fine without me."

"I don't think they are, Reese. I haven't heard from glasses since yesterday, that's not like him. I think they are in trouble."

The slow bob of John's Adams Apple was the only telling mark he gave away that he was upset, because his face gave nothing away. He didn't say anything, his fists balled up. "I'm on my way," he said quietly after several tense moments.

"Good, meet me at the precinct." Fusco instructed before he hung up the phone.

"Joss listen to the doctors, I'll be back when I can."

"Good and when you get your ass back here, we are going to talk about whatever you're hiding from me." She declared. John would never have refused to go help their friends, he would never had said they'd be fine without him. He would never sit out a number. Something was upsetting him and she was going to damn well find out.

John didn't say anything to her back, but rather, just turned and exited the room leaving her to stew. And Joss thought long into the night about what was going on.

John drove his way back to Buffalo the next afternoon, arriving at the facility Joss was staying at later in the evening. He had only gone back to help Finch, Shaw, and their number Arthur Claypool get out of the bank safely. They had told him about Root escaping from the locked cage, told him that a second machine had been made, and was missing. But none of it mattered, the only thing that mattered was being with Joss. He saved Finch because he was someone the world couldn't lose, and for that he went back to help.

John cut the engine, slowly exiting his car, and moved quickly to the building. He found Joss's suite, quickly entering. He smiled when he found her asleep in bed. This place Finch sent her was nice, he stayed with her in the guest room, and the nurses and doctors were good. They were hard-asses on Carter which she needed because of that damn stubborn streak of hers. Tomorrow evening they would be flying to Rome to get her underway on her physical rehab. He brushed her hair back behind her ear. "John," she whispered as her eyes opened after a moment.

"Hey,"

"Are our friends okay?" concern lacing her soft honeyed voice.

"Yeah they're okay now." He reassured. She smiled a little before yawning heavily. She attempted to sit up, struggling, so he tried to help her. She snarled at him, pushing his hand away clearly wanting to do it herself. "I'm not helpless."

"No, you're not, but I want to help."

"And I want the truth, but we don't always get what we want do we John." She jabbed. "You are keeping something from me."

"It's nothing, you are worried about nothing."

"I am worried. Because you told Fusco you weren't interested in helping our friends. That's not like you, John, not at all. And I have been thinking, wondering, questioning, and generally driving myself insane since you left yesterday morning trying to figure out what's going on. The only thing I have come up with is you're mad about what happened to me."

"I am upset about what happened to you." He agreed.

"So tell me, maybe talking about what is upsetting you will make you feel better. Because I'm pretty angry about what happened to me too, I hate what happened to me. I hate that I might not be able to be a cop that my only hope is that this Bernard is as good as Finch claims. I hate that Simmons shot you, I hate that he's dead, and I can't get any satisfaction of seeing him rot in prison. I hate it all. I am so pissed at the fact that I lost days of my life, I have no idea what happened during that time, and I am pissed at you for hiding what you are going through from me!"

"Joss you need to relax, your blood pressure must be sky high."

"You can leave now, John." She snapped. "I don't need you here if you are just going to hide things from me and upset me further. I want to get better not angrier."

"Joss, that's not my intention."

"So what is your intention, hide out with me, so you don't have to face whatever is upsetting you?"

"No, I want to be by you."

"Why? Why do you have to be by me?" she questioned. When no answer was forthcoming, she exhaled roughly. "Go," she turned to look away from him. She felt the bed dip, feeling his body against her hip, and he touched her chin with his fingers forcing her to look at him. Their gazes connected, oxygen seeped out her lungs, as they stared at one another intently. "John," she whispered as his eyes dropped to peer at her lips.

"Joss," he sighed before his mouth inched its way towards her. She lifted up, meeting him halfway, and they both sharply inhaled as their mouths connected. His lips were gentle, warm, and soft to the touch. His hands resided in her hair, her good hand rested on his stumble roughened jaw. He pulled his lips free, just to retake hers, deepening the kiss. Damn, he was a good kisser, almost making her forget she was mad at him. Almost. Her hand slid from his cheek, sliding to cup the back of his neck, her fingertips gently sifting through his soft hair there.

She was annoyed when his tongue didn't come out to play, she could feel him holding back, and she didn't want that. Joss wanted to feel him. She tried to coax his lips apart, by taking control of the kiss. She slid her tongue across the seam of his lips. He moaned something, as his lips parted, and she sunk her tongue into his mouth. She couldn't believe John was giving her the control of the kiss, but, she was happy he was. Her tongue slid across his, moaning, at the taste of his mouth. It was heaven.

John was a very eager participant, his tongue actively followed hers, chasing hers back into her mouth. She gasped a little as he licked the roof of her mouth. John tore his lips from hers, staring down at her. "I'm sorry, Joss I can't help but want you." He admitted.

"I'm not. It's been much too long since I have been kissed that well, if ever." She muttered. "So uh, is that the reason you have to be by me then?" she questioned. He gave her a small but charming smile.

"Joss, I want to be by you because you are my friend, and I want to be there for you." He sat back.

"Oh I see, we are friends, huh." She teased. "I better warn Fusco, that he's going to have your tongue down his throat at some point." He snorted with laughter.

"Joss…I have more than friendly feelings for you, but, you aren't anywhere near ready for anything to happen. So as of right now, you are just my friend."

"So, in the future we will be something more than that?" she pressed on.

"If you want us to be,"

"That's not an answer, John."

"It's the best answer I can give, you know how I feel about you."

"Yeah, you enlightened me a little at the morgue, who knew that a morgue could be romantic." She said with a small grin. "But you really enlightened me just now, when did you learn how to kiss like that?" she teased, loving the redness that started to tinge his ears. He cleared his throat. Joss squashed the urge to tease him further, instead she grew serious once more. She wasn't ready to let him off the hook, even if he kissed amazing. "John you know you have to stay here in New York, and help Finch with the numbers. Our feelings for one another can't come between that, they need you."

"Our feelings won't come between that because I'm done, I quit." What, he was quitting working the numbers?

"No you don't." she shook her head. "You're not quitting because of what happened that night with Simmons. It wasn't Finch's fault."

"You're right it's not. It's the machine's, it didn't warn us in time. It didn't give us a chance to know Simmons was lurking around, had it, you wouldn't have almost died." John said his eyes not meeting hers any longer. She wondered if she was finally getting to what was bothering him. He was angry at this machine, he viewed the lack of warning as a betrayal.

"John I'm here though." She gently reminded.

"What if you weren't?" he snapped. "I don't think it cares who lives or dies, I don't think it cares you're someone the world can't afford to lose is."

Joss eyed him, choosing her words carefully, because she didn't want him shutting her out. "John, are you sure I'm someone the world can't afford to lose? Or is it more I'm someone you can't afford to lose?"

He gave her a warning look, before he responded. "It gave my number, Joss, but didn't warn us in time so you wouldn't get hurt! I'm not worth the ground we walk on and yet it chose to help me!" Joss felt pain inside her at his words. John didn't believe he was good enough to save, he never believed in his worth.

"John you're upset, you have been through a lot recently. So have I, but running away from our friends isn't the way to handle it. I'm going to Rome and you can't come with me." She said firmly.

"Why not? I can help with your recovery."

"John, I appreciate you wanting to help me. But you are not a trained physical therapist like this Bernard is. He'll get me back to what I love doing, being a cop. They are about seventy percent sure I will get full mobility in my arm back. But I have to work on it, have months of rehab to do to get that. Months, John, our friends need you now not months from now."

"I went and helped Finch and Shaw because Finch is someone the world can't afford to lose, just like you. But I'm done." Again there it was, he kept saying the world couldn't afford to lose, when she suspected it was more about him not being able to handle it if he lost either her or Finch.

"Stop running John."

"I'm not."

"You have been running away from this since I awakened. You won't tell me anything that is going on, now that I finally do know some of it, you tell me you are through with helping the numbers. You're a good man John, you have helped Finch, risking your life many times since I've known you, and now you're just giving up. That's not you, you don't ever give up. It's not in your nature."

"I'm not giving up, Joss, I'm just realized the simple truth of it all."

"What?" she demanded wanting a clear understanding of where he was coming from. Because from all she saw so far was John's pain and anger was making him choose the same self-destructive path as he did in the past.

"That what we are doing is just denying the inevitable."

"Excuse me?"

"The machine gives us the numbers we go out try to stop bad things from happening. But they don't stop. We save their life for a day later, maybe a month or even a year, but eventually it catches up."

"You can't possibly believe that, John, you can't believe that you haven't helped people. I have seen it firsthand, and if you think otherwise, you are just fooling yourself."

"No, Joss, you are fooling yourself into believing what we are doing is helping people."

"Okay smart guy what about me, huh, what about when my C.I. shot me? Had you not called and warned me that I was in danger I wouldn't have worn that vest, I'd be dead already." She countered. "You, Finch, and your source your super computer, saved my life." She snarled angrily, hating he was trying to diminish all his good deeds, because of some deep seeded pain he wouldn't let anyone help him with.

"Only for you to get shot and almost killed by Simmons!" he exploded as he stood up. Joss didn't react to the angry display. "And it did nothing to save you." He hissed venomously. John's blue eyes were glacial, his tone lacked warmth, and his entire body was tense. John was a quiet man so for him to explode at her, louder in tone, was unusual. She wondered if it wasn't the despair she could easily read in his eyes that was making him react this way. John felt like he lost his purpose, he was disillusioned with the job Finch had gotten him, and right now nothing anyone said was getting through to him.

"I don't want to argue, John." She decided to change tactics, sensing he wasn't ready to give up his anger at this machine. Maybe if she could get him to somehow tell her about his pain of that day, of her getting shot, maybe it would make him less angry about what happened. It would be therapeutic to her too. Joss had a certain amount of anger of that night herself. Not at this machine, all her anger was pointed directly at Simmons, and what he nearly took from her. Namely her life, her career, and John. He shot John right before her eyes, nearly killing the man she loved. Joss eyed him who was avoiding her gaze. She could admit it to herself. She loved John so much. She wasn't ready to tell him, but admitting it to herself, was enough to make her breathe a bit easier around him.

"I don't want to argue either, Joss."

"Come here, please." She demanded softly. He walked to her, sat down on the bed beside her, and she scooted over as best as she could. "Hold me, I'm sleepy, and I sleep better in your arms." John laughed a little as he leaned back into her pillows allowing her to cuddle close.

"I'm going with you." He whispered as he rubbed her arm softly, she laid her head on his strong chest. She refused to argue, letting him speak. She had no intentions of letting him go with her to Rome, effectively running away from his friends.

"Alright, but you need to speak to Finch tell him in person that you are through with helping the numbers."

"Joss…."

"No, you have to do that. It's only right to tell Finch you are quitting and leaving. You owe him that much, he's your friend." She stipulated.

"….Alright, Joss, I'll meet with Finch in the morning."

"Thank you John."

"Go to sleep Joss." He rubbed her arm gently. Joss snuggled into him, deciding while he was gone and speaking to Finch, she was going to call Finch's pilot and arrange for her to leave for Rome earlier so John couldn't come with her. She was going to force John to confront his pain head on, it was the only way for John to ever truly get over what was hurting him internally. Once she had a plan decided on, she fell asleep promptly in his arms.

AN: John has met his match in Joss Carter, she won't put up with his crap of trying to run away from his friends and his issues. Nope, not our girl, she's going to force him to confront it or else XD Here's the teaser:

"I'm going to strangle you for this when I get to Rome." He said as he stormed to his car, she laughed, and the sound was so warm he closed his eyes loving it, loving how peaceful it made him feel. He almost lost that sound. He almost lost her he felt a tremble pass through him, as he reopened his eyes. He hardened as he eyed the camera, it almost made him lose her.

"I'm sure you want to put your hands on me, but not to strangle me, John, and I can't wait." He clutched the phone tightly when she purred softly realizing she was flirting with him!

Uh-oh, Joss went ahead with her plan which won't sit right with John! Thanks for reading my loves!