"London City"

* Song Fic From Spike to Buffy *

* Set 10 Years After The Events In "Chosen"*

* "London City" by James Marsters*

Buffy was sitting in the living room floor flipping through the last pages of the photo album in her lap. She found that she did it from time to time when she spent to long lingering in memories. Her mother's smile, the way Willow blushed every time Tara stood beside her, Dawn's prom and graduation and then there was…No. She wouldn't, couldn't think of him now. It had been ten years since that horrible day they had finally closed the Hellmouth and destroyed Sunnydale in the process and yet she still couldn't shake the sadness his memory brought back. Buffy sighed in defeat as she let her fingers trace over another album. Black leather, the spine creased from Dawn's constant flipping of the pages the first few years after she had put the scrapbook together. "I'm sorry, Spike." Buffy whispered as she stared at his face glaring back at her from the glossy picture. A cigarette dangled from his fingers and his trademark smirk brought back more memories she wasn't prepared to deal with. Guilt. It was why she could never let him go. Why she tortured herself over the years. "It wasn't supposed to end like that. There…there were so many things I wanted to say…tried to make you understand but…" Her voice failed her as she turned the pages, her fingers tracing over a series of pictures they had taken during Willow's misfired will be done spell.

In the brief time they had been engaged to one another Buffy had seen a difference in Spike. A tenderness that he wasn't supposed to have; a tenderness he would show her years later when she finally allowed him to. She smiled at the way he held her in his arms in front of his crypt door. It seemed foolish of her now to not have realized it sooner than she had but she had always cared for him. She wasn't ready to let herself care and by the time she was…he was gone. Dawn had taken care in pasting the lyrics to "Wind Beneath My Wings" around the pictures and throughout the page. There were pictures of Spike and Dawn from the summer when she had been in the grave and the responsibility of taking care of Dawn had partially fell to him. He had never complained about anything he had done that summer and Dawn had been the better for having him to confide in.

"Buffy!" She heard Dawn call as the back door swung open and closed again. She jumped up from where she sat slamming the album closed and trying to rid her face of the tears. "That time again, huh."

"Ummm…yeah….sort of." Buffy sighed as she fidgeted with her hands. "Gonna be ten years soon. Seems silly to still be…upset over it."

"You love him, Buffy." Dawn sighed as she watched her sister pace into the kitchen and grab a mug from the dish drainer. "There's nothing silly about that."

"I just keep thinking…" Buffy snapped her mouth shut as she poured coffee into her cup. Dawn didn't need to be worrying about her mental state anymore. For the first few months Giles had toyed with the idea of therapy and Dawn was nearly ready to let him do it. They just didn't understand the guilt she had to live with every day that she woke in the blinding sun.

"You keep thinking the phone is going to ring or that he's going to barge through the door with a 'Bloody Hell, Slayer.'" Dawn sighed as she leaned against the wall watching her sister bite her lip. "It's natural to feel like that, Buffy. Doesn't mean you're a wacko."

"When did you grow up so much?" Buffy laughed as she stared at Dawn who finally smiled at her.

"Not me." Dawn giggled as she tasseled her short brown hair. "Relationship television. Dr. Phil and all that." She ignored Buffy's roll of the eyes. "I miss him too you know."

"Explains the outfit." Buffy laughed as she motioned to the clothes Dawn was wearing. "Leather. He liked that, but I'm not so sure he would have liked it on you."

"I'm working tonight." Dawn shrugged as she picked at the dark leather pants she wore. Admittedly, she wasn't sure Spike would approve of the pants but the red silk shirt and combat boots kind of made her feel closer to him somehow.

"I should have stayed in Rome with Giles and the girls." Buffy sighed as she sipped her coffee.

"Was it easier there?" Dawn asked as she leaned on the counter. "To forget I mean. To pretend it didn't happen or that he never existed."

"Not really." Buffy admitted as she shook her head. "A little worse I think. The nightmares haven't been as bad since I came back."

"I better go." Dawn sighed as she pushed away from the wall. "The bar ain't gonna tend itself. Just wanted to make sure you were ok. Andrew said you didn't show up for work and Giles said you weren't answering the phone."

"You ever think about getting a better job?" Buffy asked as Dawn smiled.

"Have you?" Dawn smirked as she tossed a bundle of envelopes on the table. "Got your mail on the way in. You really should check it more than once a week. You never know what you'll find in there." Buffy shook her head as Dawn left shutting the door behind her. Her job with the Watcher's Council wasn't the best but it paid the bills and kept her busy. That's what she needed around this time of the years. Busy schedules and less time to think. A dark envelope with no return address caught her attention and she sat it aside as she sorted the rest of the mail into two piles, one of which she dumped into the trash and the other she stacked by the phone to deal with tomorrow. Buffy carried her coffee and the strange envelope to the living room and sat on the sofa.

The postmark was from London and made her roll her eyes. If Giles was trying to make her feel guilty for leaving with Dawn she would give him a good lecture next time he called. Tearing open the envelope she unfolded the grey parchment and something fell into her hand. She stared at the plane ticket and matchbook in confusion as she held them in her hand. Turning her attention back to the letter she felt a rush she had thought was long dead shock through her.

"Meet me in London City beneath the slate grey sky." The letter stared in a hauntingly familiar script. It couldn't be. "I've done it all without you but that's no life. That's not the life…Bring your grace to London City. I've been pinin' all my life and if you don't make it through Heathrow I just might die. Yeah…I could die." Buffy closed her eyes for a second and tried to steady her hand. "I know I wasn't pleasant and I guess I never am, but if you come to me in London…I'll try again. Come to me in London City 'cause this tour's just not the same. All the hotel rooms and faces…it just seems strange. I know I wasn't pleasant and I guess I've never been, but if you comes to me in London I'll try again. Meet me in London City. I'll make it worth your time. You're the only angel for me and that's no lie." Buffy turned her eyes to the ticket and the matchbook again and sighed. A single match was missing from the book and 9:00 p.m. had been scribbled over a single word…Slayer.

Buffy sighed as she pushed her way through the crowd. Her mind was spinning out of control and her hand absently touched the letter in her pocket mostly to make sure it was really there. "Got a second?" She asked as she leaned on the bar. Dawn looked up from the colorful drink she was mixing and nodded.

"Kinda slow in here right now." Dawn sighed as she handed off the drink and leaned across the bar. "Spill it. What's got you looking like your old self again? Sparkle in the eyes and all that."

"You talk like him at times you know." Buffy laughed and for once it was a real laugh. She didn't know what she was getting herself into or even if she cared. "I think Spike's alive. I don't know how…not even sure I believe it…but…just look at this…" She shoved the letter into Dawn's hands and watched her as she read over the short note not missing the smile as she handed it back.

"You have to go, Buffy." Dawn smiled. "If it's really him…just give him a chance to explain things okay…and then bring him home. If it isn't…stake the freak and come home. I won't say a word to Giles or anyone. Promise."

A two hour delay and a twelve hour flight later she was checked into a hotel and questioning her sanity. In a moment of rational thought she realized any demon could have sent the letter to her, copied his script and she would be a fool for showing up. But the other part of her said she would regret it forever if she didn't go. "I may be loves bitch…but at least I'm man enough to admit it." She remembered his words from so long ago and thought about how he would react if he had seen her the past ten years mourning him. Love's bitch…yep that was her. She tucked the matchbook into her pocket and a stake in her jacket before heading out into the night.

William's Wine & Ale House was a bit off the usual grind of the Square Mile pubs but she found it with no problem. The demon essence and the vampire tingles were running through her like she hadn't felt in years. Once a Slayer always a Slayer she shrugged to herself as she pushed open the door and slipped inside. The dark brown classic exterior of the pub had given her hope as to the inside but the reality did not match what she had pictured. It was simply another pub with the drunk and lonely demon population drowning their sorrows in blood and booze. It definitely looked like a place he would hang out if he were alive. "Hello, Cutie." She jumped at the sound of the voice so close to her as she tried to push through the crowd to find an empty booth. "Don't know who you're lookin' for but I can show you a better time."

"Doubt it." She chuckled then and as she pulled the stake from her jacket. Turning to face him she saw his eyes go wide. "You help me find who I'm looking for and I might leave you undusted. Deal?"
"Slayer!" The vampire hissed through his fangs as he lunged for her. With a roll of her eyes she ducked his attack and caught him in the back with the heel of her boot.

"Guess that's a no then." She smiled as she grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. The vampire screamed as she bashed him in the nose and again in the chest making him stumble back from her. This is what she needed, what she was missing in Rome. The adventure, the fight and the sense of accomplishing something. Spike was right all those years ago. It was a dance and she was pretty darn good at it if she cared to admit it to herself now.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed her shoulder and just as quickly disappeared. "Don't think so, mate." The voice sent shivers down her spine as she felt her breath catch. As bad as she wanted to turn around and see the back that was now pressed against hers she didn't have time.

"I so have better things to do than fool with you all night." Buffy growled as she grabbed the charging vampire by the arm and flipped him to the ground bringing down the stake with a smile. A second vampire met a similar end as she slammed him into a table letting the table let do the dirty work for her. A growl from across the room distracted her and she saw him then. Pinned against the pool table by a vampire twice his size. Without a word she closed the short distance, grabbing a pool cue from a passing demon and snapping it in half she thrust the end into the vampire's large back and held her breath as the dust settled around them. Their eyes met for only a second before he pushed her out of the way and grabbed a scaly demon, flipping it onto the pool table and snapping his neck.

Buffy was on her feet her stake sliding home as another vampire dusted in the chaos around her. Suddenly, a shot rang out and the demon charging her faltered and fell to the ground. Everyone turned to the bar where the bartender glared out into the crowd with a pistol in each hand. "Bugger this!" He bellowed making sure everyone heard him. "Leave 'em be unless you wanna be beat arses over elbows and tossed outta here on your fangs. Provided the little Miss lets ye keep 'em."

Buffy waited while everyone backed away and returned to their pints and conversations. She turned expecting to find him standing at her back lighting a smoke or ready with some inappropriate comment…but he was gone. Panic flared through her as she looked in every direction ignoring the way some of the vampires were glaring at her. For once there was only one set of fangs that mattered to her and it had nothing to do with being the Slayer. Then she saw it. A whiff of a black duster slipping out a side door and she hurried after him, stumbling to a stop as the door slammed shut behind her. He was leaned against the alley wall twirling the broken pool cue between his hands, his piercing blue eyes steeling all the courage she had managed to gather. "You're early." He said as he watched her walk toward him.

"How?" She asked as she reached out to him, her fingers brushing over his face and neck coming to rest on his chest. "It's you…but how….Spike, I…."

"Long story, Luv." He sighed as he tossed away the pool cue and let his hands touch her. "You really wanna hear it now?"

"No," She smiled after a few long moments of silence. She let her hand drift through his hair pulling a few curls away from the rest as her hand slid to the back of his neck. "I wasn't lying, Spike." His eyes went wide as he stared at her his hand coming up to brush away a few stray tears that spilled over from her eyes. "I understand why you didn't believe me in the Hellmouth when I told you I loved you. But…I love you, Spike. God, I've wanted to say that for so long now. I thought we would have time…then you were….gone…." She gave into herself and pulled his face down to hers. The kiss was gentle and sweet, nothing like she had ever imagined their reunion to be. She didn't care that she was crying or that someone might come along and discover them. All that mattered to her right now was the fact that he was here, the feel of his touch on her body, the taste of his kiss and the fact that he wasn't dead. Anything else would just have to wait. "I missed you, Spike."

"Missed you to, Pet." He breathed against her throat making her shiver. "Love you…never stopped."

"Love you to, Spike." Buffy gasped as he spun her around pinning her to the alley wall as he nipped at her throat her arms tightening around him. "So glad I came to London."

10