6. Funny Markings

"At least he's coming here. You know, it's really lame to ask me to chase ManBearPig. But it's even lamer that he never showed up," Kyle said as he raised a glass of water to his mouth and sipped through a straw.

"Yeah, but at least Kenny wouldn't be lame enough to forget his money at home, and make his best friend pay for his dinner," Stan said, sarcastically sounding angry. He, of course, was not. The boy sitting next to him in the booth was his Super Best Friend. He didn't mind buying him a plate of fries.

On the opposite side of the table were Tweek and Butters. Butters happily eating away at a plain vanilla shake. Tweek trying to keep his eyes on something his nerves could handle: the coffee cup between his hands. Whatever he could do to ignore the Doctor, who had pulled up a chair and was sitting perpendicular to the boys.

The Doctor wasn't moving. He sat slightly slumped in his chair, his arms folded. When the waitress had asked for his order, he simply replied, "we don't have that kind of time." It was easier than asking for outrageous items like fish fingers and custard. His current gaze was out the window as he mentally reviewed the information he had so far.

1) There's some sort of temporal disturbance here that is making the date unknown to both computers and memory, 2) there's a ManBearPig, and 3) he's sitting at some run-down American diner with four boys doing nothing.

Well, he knew what to do about the last thing at least.

Hopping to his feet, he pulled out the sonic screwdriver. He pointed it carelessly in no direction in particular. The device buzzing and blinking in scan mode, the Doctor slowly turned in place and watched the device as it surveyed all 360 degrees.

The screwdriver might as well have been driving into Tweek for the panic it created in him. Noisy, flashing objects were not things he enjoyed.

"Gah! What the hell is that!?"

At Tweek's observation, the boys turned to watch as the Doctor completed his spin. Stan raised his eyebrows, but otherwise watched in curiosity. Butters figured he was doing some kind of dance. And Kyle just put his hand on his forehead.

"Ugh, now what?" Kyle asked, not really wanting to know.

The Doctor didn't respond, he was too busy analyzing. The good news was that the scan did pick up something. The bad news was that it was faint. The Doctor gave the screwdriver a few taps into his left palm and tried again. Still faint. Maybe it, whatever it was, was out of range.

"I need to get on the roof," the Doctor calmly told the children.

"No you don't," Kyle tersely responded. He was seriously fed up with the grown-ups today, from the Doctor and his personality to Al Gore and ManBearPig.

"Dude, you can't just go on the roof," Stan said, his sense of logic winning out over bewilderment.

"No matter, it still might work outside," the Doctor said, his eyes wide with intrigue. He turned and trotted toward the exit. Just as he opened the door, in walked a boy in an orange parka that he took no notice of as he trotted out to the parking lot.

Stan couldn't help but notice that Kenny's entire body language was one of depression. His shoulders were hunched over, his hands in his pockets, and his head staring down at the ground. Saying nothing, he fell into the seat that the Doctor had left without saying a word. Stan looked across to Butters and Tweek. Butters also seemed to notice Kenny's melancholy demeanor. Tweek's constantly restlessness made him hard to read, but he at least didn't say anything.

Kyle also noticed Kenny's demeanor, but this didn't stop him from wanting to know where Kenny had been. He had told them he was coming along, but Kyle never saw him after that.

"Dude, what the hell happened? You said you were coming with us to deal with Al Gore?" he asked, keeping his tone as even as he could, but a little bit of bitterness coming through at the mention of Al Gore.

"Dude, fuck you," shot back at Kyle, muffled through the hood of the parka.

"Kyle, why don't you just leave him alone," Stan said, trying to ease the tension that was already building. Kyle gritted his teeth, but backed off, leaving Kenny alone. An awkward silence presided over the table until Butters finally spoke up.

"Well I don't think you missed much, Kenny. We found this really weird British guy. He seems nice though. Not an evil freedom hating socialist like my Dad says."

At the mention of the British guy, Kenny closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He remembered him, barely. Kenny remembered being pinned underneath a box that crashed down upon him and crushed him beneath. He remembered Butters running away in terror. He even remembered the Doctor's screams of denial as his consciousness slipped away.

And then he remembered waking up at home, in bed.

It was an event that had been repeated several times in Kenny's life. He dies, he wakes up, and no one remembers he'd died. When he was younger, he always dismissed it as weird dreams, but finally the issue came to a head during a game of Coon and Friends. But Kenny, despite the incredible adventure the Coon and Friends had, never found out why he could die only to return to life at home.

Coon and Friends reminded Kenny of Cartman. It was always more worrisome when Cartman wasn't around. Who knows what he was doing when you didn't have an eye on him.

"Has anyone seen Cartman?" Kenny asked.

"The fatass? He's probably walking around in a ManBearPig costume ruining all of our evenings or something!" Kyle retorted. He could restrain his anger at Kenny's apparent truancy, but not toward Eric Cartman.

"Nah dude, I think his Mom was taking him to get some new iPad or something today," Stan replied.

"Oh God, man, fuck Apple," Kyle said, as Stan and Kenny both cracked up at his expense. Kyle had sworn off anything Apple after the time he didn't read the user agreement before accepting iTunes, and ended up being integrated into the HumanCentiPad.

The boys continued chatting as Kyle finished his food. After awhile, Tweek realized that it was 8 PM, and that his parents were, "going to kill him, gah!" if he didn't return home. Butters suggested they get home too, before his parents got back home from a Bible studies group they attended near Denver and grounded him. The boys pushed away from the table and walked out the door of the restaurant. Stan had to wait to pay for Kyle's dinner, but he wasn't too far behind the rest of the boys.

Tweek and Butters decided to walk home a different way, parting ways with Kyle in the parking lot. Unfortunately for Kyle, the direction he chose was also the direction the Doctor was standing in.

"Kevin! Are you finished with your… whatever it was you were doing?" The Doctor asked, excitedly when he saw the boy in the green hat.

Kyle gritted his teeth. He didn't want to respond. For one thing this Doctor apparently hadn't bothered to learn his name. But as the Doctor fell in step with him, the awkwardness was too much for him.

"Yeah, I mean, we were there for like over an hour and I was just eating. And my name is Kyle."

The Doctor abruptly stopped walking and tilted his head. It was dramatic enough to make Kyle stop too in reaction.

"What do you mean you were in there for over an hour?"

"I mean I was in there for over an hour!" Kyle groaned and held out his arms exasperatedly.

"There is no way you were in there for an hour, I just got out here."

"Dude, I'm telling you. In there. Over an hour. Ate food. It wasn't all that good, Stan, tell him."

By now Stan had caught up with Kyle and the Doctor. He stared over at Kyle.

"Tell him what?" He asked, out of earshot of the conversation."

"That we were at Benny's for over an hour."

Stan shrugged. "Well… yeah… we were."

The Doctor spun a full 360 degrees, his brown overcoat flaring out slightly as he did. He settled back on Stan now.

"How is that possible! I was here for no more than five minutes!" the Doctor insisted.

Stan had had it with this crazy, creepy guy following them around. His patience was a lot larger than Kyle's but even he'd had it.

"Dude, you're insane! You apparently can't tell time, you live in a box, you've got funny markings all over you, you're always shouting and you don't even have a real name! Doctor. Doctor what! Is that some kind of porn name or something? You're a grown up following around little kids! We should be calling the police or something! Are you a rapist?"

Stan hoped this would be enough to make him just go away. He thought he'd driven home that he was unwanted when the Doctor frowned and started darting his eyes in calculation mid-way through Stan's rant. After a moment of pause, the Doctor, in a deep and serious tone, stared straight into Stan's eyes.

"What do you mean I have funny markings all over me?"

Kyle let out a grunt and started walking off again, but Stan felt he had to prove to this Doctor how insane he was. He grabbed the palm of the Doctor's left hand and turned it over, exposing the backside.

"Dude, these. These tally marks. What the fuck were you counting anyway? Looks like you got up to six."

The Doctor stared at the back of his hand in disbelief, quietly mumbling to himself.

"I need to get back to the TARDIS…"