My Nannie passed away on Tuesday. I miss her and love her a lot, so this chapter is dedicated to her and my family that I love with all my heart and I wish I could be there to hug them but I don't live in the same province as them so this chapter is for them. I haven't seen my Nannie since I was maybe 5 and I don't remember too much about her but I still love her, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I send my love to you all - Angeii

Chapter 4

*FLASHBACK*

"Mommy?" little Katie Beckett walked up to her mom sitting on the couch staring at a glass of water, her mom looked at her and opened her arms then said,

"Come here sweetie" and little Katie crawled into her mom's arms,

"I miss her mommy." She sniffed into her mom's shoulder. Joanna rubbed small soothing circles on her back then whispered,

"I know Katie so do I but your Nannie lived a great life, 95 years is a long time sweetie."

"I know mommy but I wasn't there, I never got to say goodbye or that I loved her. Why did she have to leave before I said I loved her?"

Joanna Cradled her 6-year-old daughter in her arms as she thought of and answer to what her daughter was asking, "She knows you loved her Katie but it was her time to go. But you know what she will always be with you."

"How mommy?"

She pulled her daughter out of the hug so she can look at her little girl, "She will always be right in here," She said as she pointed to where her little Katie's heart is, "And here." She pointed to her little girls head then said, "All your memories with your Nannie will always be right up it that little head of yours."

"Really!?" Katie asked excited.

"Always Katie, she will always be with you." Katie hugged her mom tightly then whispered to her,

"You know mommy you can cry I will help you be happy like you help me."

"I know sweetie and this hug is helping more than you know." Joanna replied as a few tears fell from her eyes and her little girl hugged her tighter.

Castle looked at Kate as he saw tears come to her eyes the faraway look also in her eyes, "Katie?" he asked. At the sound of the nickname she broke down in tears and he quickly pulled her into a hug, "Kate, what's wrong?"

"I just miss her."

"Your mom?"

"Yes but no I miss my Nannie I just realized that today is the day she passed away."

He just hugged her tighter then asked, "How old were you?"

"I was 6. My mom and I were at home well my dad was working when my mom got the call; it tore me to pieces Castle. But my mom made it all better, she made everything better."

He just kept hugging her he didn't think she wanted to talk right now just cry on his shoulder as she mourned the loss of both her mother and Nannie so he hugged her until she was up to talk again.

"Castle?"

"Yeah Kate?"

"Thank you, this means a lot."

"Always Katie."

A few more tears fell from her eyes then she pulled back from the hug a little to look into his eyes then she started the story about her Nannie she thought he deserved to know why she was so upset. When she was done her story he wiped away her tears and hugged her a little while longer. After a few minutes in the hug Kate whispered,

"I love you, Rick"

"I love you too, Kate" then kissed the top of her head.

"You know you have only been in the hospital for 3 days and we have had enough drama for a long time but sadly that won't happen because the boys have yet to stop by and I'm not sure if Lanie said anything." Castle stated as he sat at the end of her bed with her feet on his lap as he gave her a foot massage,

"Well that will be an interesting situation," Kate laughed at the thought then she remembered something very important, "Oh crap, I forgot to tell you the boys are stopping by today. So no kissing we don't want a repeat of Lanie."

"Oh god I think it would be worse if the boys caught us making out," Castle shudder at the thought, "They would probably kill me or worse," he looked at Beckett with fear covering his face as she started to laugh at him then roll her eyes.

"Castle you are being ridiculous! They aren't going to kill you 'cause A: I will kill them if they hurt you and B: they love you too much to hurt you…but maybe not scare you a little."

"I love you too." He stated as he continued to massage her feet. "Maybe I should stop don't want to spoil the surprise." He was about to move her feet off his lap so he could get off the bed but he was stalled by a piece of paper hitting him in the head and when he look over at Beckett he was confronted by a very stern glare,

"You move and it won't be a piece of paper next time." They held each other's glares before Castle went back to massaging her feet and Kate relaxed into her pillow as she started to fall into a deep sleep.

When Kate woke up a few hours later Ryan and Esposito were already there talking to castle and watching something on TV that they must have put on mute 'cause she couldn't hear a thing she watched them for a bit then finally decided to talk,

"What are you guys doing?" she asked her voice sounding sleepier then she really was, when Castle looked at her she smiled at him sweetly and he smiled back and gave her a little wink which made her roll her eyes at him again,

"Nothing boss. How are you feeling?" Ryan asked

"Kev, we're not in work so don't call me boss." Kevin Ryan nodded his head and smiled at her then looked over at Esposito,

"So how are you feeling Beckett?" Esposito asked when she didn't give his partner an answer

"Like I got shot three days ago and numb on pain killers that are making me sleep way too much, but my feet feel great." She said which caused to confused looks from the boys and a snicker from Castle,

"Becks I think those pain killers are doing a little more than just making you tired." Esposito stated as he looked from his boss to Ryan then to Castle,

"Oh chill Javi it was a joke, I'm not delusional."

"Not anymore then she was yesterday at least." Castle joked which caused him a glare from Beckett and more confused looks from the boys,

"Are we missing something?" asked Ryan clearly confused by the conversation. Castle got up from where he was sitting and walked up to Beckett's bed side then said,

"Should we tell them, Kate?"

"Tell us what?" Javier asked

"I think we should." Beckett stated as she gave Castle a knowing look then reached for his hand as she slowly sat up, Castle held her hand tightly then placed a light kiss to the back of her hand hoping the boys would catch on but sadly it just caused them to get more confused looks so Beckett started, "Castle and I have started dating."

The boys looked at them for a few seconds until Esposito let out a sigh and looked at Ryan then said, "Looks like Lanie won the bet man."

"We are happy for both of you," Ryan stated as he glared at his partner, "aren't we, Espo?"

"Yeah we are but Castle if you hurt her I will hurt you, got it?" Castle nodded his head as he looked at Kate nervously,

"Chill Castle, they won't hurt you too bad and it's not like you plan on hurting me, right?" Castle looked at her his jaw agape then he answered,

"No, never Katie, I would never plan to hurt you!" he stated and bent down slightly to kiss the top of her head then whisper, "Never."

Javi clasped a hand on Castle's shoulder then said, "Good man and I am truly happy for you but couldn't you guys have decided to confess your love for each other a little earlier because I lost a lot of money on the two of you."

Kate laughed at him then said, "Why don't we watch a movie and talk about some stuff that's going on outside this hospital because if I have to hear one more thing about the head of Neuro sleeping with his scrub nurse, I will kill someone!"

The three guys laughed at her statement then put in 'Iron man 2' and they all settled into a comfortable place, Castle sitting on Beckett's bed with her nestled into his side with his arm across her shoulder, Ryan and Esposito pulled up a chair on either side of her bed so they can get a good look at the screen.

When the movie was over the boys said their goodbyes to Castle and headed back to work. Beckett had fallen asleep halfway through the movie and she was still nestled into Castles side barely moving as she slept. Castle was making sure she didn't turn on her left side because he didn't want her hurting herself or pulling any stitches, just the other day the doctor told them that if Castle was careful not to hurt her of mess with her IV he could lay in the bed next to her so he wouldn't have to sleep in the chair anymore. Castle still didn't get that much sleep to worried he might hurt her and his nightmares were starting to become unbearable so most nights he stayed awake and watched her sleep and made sure she didn't hurt herself or have any nightmares so far in the 3 days she's been in here she hasn't had any just flashbacks and most were about her mom or Nannie, he was holding his breath for when the nightmares and flashbacks from the shooting would start but he was hoping it would be after her stitches were out.

She must have fallen asleep well watching the movie because when she woke up it was dark out and Castle was watching her carefully and he was playing with the hair at the end of her braid, when she smiled at him he smiled back weakly, he looked hurt or scared 'What had happened when she was sleeping?' She wondered. She placed her hand on his chest and when he looked down at her she asked,

"What's wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost."

"Just thinking,"

"About?"

"You, me, everything"

"Rick what's bugging you?"

"Are you having nightmares?"

"No, are you?"

"Sometimes, Katie I'm just scared I'll lose you again."

"I'm not going anywhere Rick, not if I can help it."

"Promise me you won't go jumping into your mom's case, just for a bit I don't want you to get hurt again."

"Rick…"

"Kate they almost killed you three days ago! I-I can't watch you die again…" a tear fell from his eye and Beckett reached up and wiped it away and cupped his cheek in her hand then said,

"Castle… it's my mom, I don't know if I can," pulled her hand from his face and looked away from him.

"I know Kate but it's also your life! You know I watched you die in that ambulance and in the cemetery! I can't lose you again, Kate. I get nightmares every time I go to sleep and in them I can't save you and you die in my arms, I can't have that come true." More tears fell more freely from his eyes this time. Kate looked up at him then said,

"I didn't know Rick, I'm sorry," she let out a light sob then turned her head to look into his eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks, Castle reached out and cupped her cheeks and wiped the tears away with his thumbs, she closed her eyes at his touch after a few seconds she continued, "Rick, I love you more than anything so for you I will try not to get sucked in, for you I will back down but if they try to hurt anyone I love or do hurt them I can't promise I won't go after. But I promise I will back down for now, for you Castle I promise." He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head and whispered,

"Thank you, Kate. That's all I ask….well that and for you to love me for the rest of my life."

Kate huffed out a laugh then whispered back, "Always"

*Flashback*

"Angel! Come on its time to go!" her grandfather yelled up the stairs.

Little Katie came running down the stairs and stopped in front of her grandfather, "How do I look, Gamppy?" she asked as she started to spin in a circle to show her grandpa her outfit, she was wearing a navy blue almost black dress with a light pink ribbon tied around the waist the bow in the back, pink ballet flats that matched the color of the ribbon on her dress and her hair fell down on her shoulders with a pink and black striped bow hairclip holding the top layer of her hair in a half up half down style just like her Nannie loved it.

Her grandfather picked her up and said, "You look beautiful, Angel. Nannie would love it!" he placed a kiss on her cheek and put her on the ground to run off to find her dad and grandma, His mother's only wish was that nobody wore black at her funeral so he chose to wear one of his goofy colorful ties that his mother would always get a kick out of at family dinners.

He straightened his tie then looked back up the stairs to see his little girl –who wasn't very little anymore- coming down the stairs, she was wearing a dark blue dress the color almost the same as his granddaughters, she smiled at her dad and kissed him on the cheek when she got down the stairs then said to him as she hooked her elbow with his, "You look great dad, Grandma would love your tie."

"And you look almost as stunning as your little girl" they entered the kitchen to see Katie talking to her dad and grandma as they sat at the table sipping coffee,

"Shall we get going?" Jim smiled at his wife then said,

"We shall." And the all headed out to the funeral.

When the priest was done talking and the speeches were over they all got to go pay their respects, Kate was last to go and she ran up to her Nannie's coffin placed her little hand on the side of it and said,

"Bye bye Nannie, I'll see you some day and mommy says you will always be with me in here," she said as she pointed to her heart, "And up here," she then pointed to her head, "I love you Nannie, hope to see you in my dreams again I had fun playing dress up, I even wore your favorite dress today and my hair how you like it, Gamppy says you would love it, do you?" she turned back to look at her mom and dad then waved goodbye to her Nannie's coffin then walked over to her mom, took her hand then said,

"I asked Nannie if we can play again tonight and if she liked my dress, she agreed." She smiled a big smile at her mom and dad then said, "Let's go I wanna see Gamppy!" and she started pulling them out the doors of the church.

"Love you Nannie, see you in my dreams" Kate whispered into the quiet hospital room as she started to fall back to sleep.

A/N: Hope you all loved it :) please review, I love to hear what you all have to say :D

Lot's of Love,

Angeii