Wow, here it is. I'm actually satisfied with this chap and fairly confident that i'll be able to finish it on time for Christmas! :D
Unfortunately I can't reply to you at the moment due to being weird and not letting me see my reviews...but you know who you are and keep them coming because they make my day and inspire me to update faster!
**December 21st
The Gang was gathered in the living room to participate in another one of Darren's "abominative" ideas: they were about to draw names for Secret Santa.
"I do not want to give a present to someone!" Seba wailed.
"Me neither!" Mika growled. "What if I get Kurda?"
"Fine. We'll do it the other way. You can each find a present for everyone, instead of one person!" Darren retorted.
Arrow did the math. "So theres...8 of us..." (he counted everyone) and you don't have to get one for yourself...so 8 minus 1...that would be...7 presents! That's a lot, Darren."
"That's why we're doing Secret Santa!" Darren said triumphantly. Everyone else shut up.
"Plua it's fun." Darren added. "You have to keep the secret and you can't tell the person who's name you got. OK Kurda?"
"Ok!" the blonde squealed, clapping his hands.
"Now everybody just take one." Darren said carefully as he held out the hat. But he needn't have bothered, because a huge fight broke out as each Vampire tried to be the first to draw a name. Darren yanked the hat away, which was a huge mistake, because Mika, Arrow, Kurda, and Paris came crashing down on top of him.
When Darren regained consciousness, everyone was yelling. It seemed that no one understood that the point of Secret Santa was to keep names secret.
"I got Mika! I got Mika!" Kurda cheered.
"Can we have a re-draw?" Mika begged.
"We're gonna have to." said Darren in annoyance as Larten and Seba fought over Harkat's name, because the Little Person would be pleased with whatever present he got, so the drawer of his name wouldn't have to work very hard.
It took Darren 15 minuites to extract the names from their holders. When they were all back in the hat, he repeated his instructions, but sweetened the deal:
"Okay, whoever doesn't say who's name they drew gets unlimited Lime Green Sharpie priveleges from now till Christmas!"
There was total silence as each Vampire drew a name. When the hat was passed back to Darren, there was one name left. He pulled it out...
"If you order presents off eBay today, they'll arrive sometime on Christmas Eve, so do it now." Darren advised. He looked down at the name he'd drawn:
Larten Crepsley
He groaned inwardly. Although he knew his mentor very well, he was so hard to impress! Darren had his work cut out for him. But he'd figure it out later. Right now he had a new mission: teaching 7 hyper Vampires how to make Christmas cookies. Joy to the world.
*
After 4 hours straight of surfing eBay in search of the perfect gift to show his mentor how much he loved him, Darren had come up with absolutely nothing. Larten would not want party-coloured fuzzy socks, a lime green paper shredder, a talking back massager, or an extra-large container of paper clips, a #1 Dad hat, or anything else eBay had to offer. He groaned in frustration and left his laptop to pace around his room. He rummaged through his drawers, looking for nothing in particular, other than some sort of inspiration. Suddenly,
"Ouch, dammit!" he withdrew his hand. Blood trickled out of a paper cut. Growling like Mika, he reached back in and found the paper that had dared to slice his flesh. It was an envelope. He opened it carefully, and took out its contents, a stack of photos.
A smile immediately spread across his face. The top picture was a group shot that he remembered well: The gang was gathered outside, beneath a sign that read Golden Horseshoe Ski Resort. Each was standing prefectly straight and looking right at the camera, looking just like a perfect family. Darren frowed and looked at the next picture in the stack. This one made his smile even bigger: Harkat stood in the center, grinning as always, sitting on a suitcase and holding a bag of Skittles. Mika and Arrow stood behind him, holding ski poles like swords. Paris appeared to be yelling at the photographer, directing him on the correct use of his camea. Kurda was running his hand through his hair and pursing his lips like a movie star. Seba appeared to be yelling at a rock. Darren stood in the very center of it all, with his thumbs up and the biggest smile in the world on his face. Then something in the far background of the photo caught his eye. Darren let out a scream of pure glee and bolted back to the computer.
He knew exactly what the perfect gift was...now he just had to find it.
**December 22nd
Darren figured that nothing could be harder than teaching Vampires the concept of Secret Santa. But he had forgotten to take into account that cookie-baking would involve use of an oven, cooking utensils, and very alluring dough. In 5 minuites, Seba and Harkat had consumed an entire bowl of dough (and Seba was still drunk on eggnog) , Mika had almost set the kitchen on fire, and Arrow "accidentaly" broke the now-empty bowl. And that was just in 5 minuites. As Darren was walking out of the kitchen to find a new bowl, he heard (in this order) :
"It's slipping!"
"Catch it!"
Smack.
Poof!
He turned around. The remains of a baf of flour lay on the floor. Flour covered everything in a 10-foot radius.
"It's a miracle!" Harkat exclaimed.
"No its not. it's everywhere!" Mika groaned.
"Sorry?" said Kurda squeakily. 7 pairs of eyes turned on him. 6 were angry, and 1 (Harkat's) were sympathetic.
"Never mind him." Darren sighed. We'll clean it up and start over."
"I just want to know who's idea it was to get that much flour." Larten muttered.
But start over they did. This time, Darren ordered Seba and Kurda to stay back until the dough was safely made. Finally he allowed them to step forward and help cut out shapes.
"I WANT THE REINDEER!" Kurda screamed, clawing at the back of Mika's hand.
"Too friggin bad." the dark Prince glared as he proceeded to make reindeer shapes out of the dough.
Kurda pretended not to care as he selected an angel shaped cookie cutter. Harkat had a tree, Seba had a Santa, Darren had a star, Arrow had a dove, Paris had a snowflake and Larten had a sled. The dough they'd made turned quickly into 27 cookies. As they stood back and stared in awe, Seba reached forward, grabbed one, and shoved it into his mouth. Mika, Arrow, and Kurda followed his lead.
"No, you can't eat them till they're baked!" Darren moaned. However, he could not pretend he hadn't been expecting this.
"But they taste good now! Why bother waiting?" Arrow complained.
"That's just how it works." Darren replied sternly, shoving the tray in the oven.
Mika made a noise that sounded like a dragon growling, so Darren allowed him to keep the raw cookie he'd stolen.
"Okay, I have an announcement." Darren said, suddenly sounding unhappy. "I have decided to cut all dance routines and music from our play."
Mika and Arrow began cheering wildly and jumping up and down, hi-fiving and hugging each other. Larten looked exasperated. Paris looked indifferent. Seba looked confused. Harkat looked supportive. Darren felt utterly miserable. He'd been excited to put this together, but not only did they lack time, if the gang could barely handle making a batch of cookies, there was no way he'd ever organize them to sing and dance onstage. It was just a reality he'd have to face. There was always next year...
"Harkat, take those cookies out when they're golden brown." Darren called, suddenly feeling out of energy. He left the kitchen and retreated to his cozy room. Only when he was gone was his dismal mood recognized. Harkat and Larten exchanged a glance, but no one else seemed to notice.
** December 23rd
Darren's mood did not improve by the next morning. He woke up feeling sick, and his nose was running. But he soldiered on, rounding up the gang (again) to resume construction of the set. Everyone knew their lines (Vampires have excellent memories) but Darren figured that when they went onstage, they'd either forget or not know what to do as they recited the dialogue. Oh well. Darren thought. He really did not feel well. In fact, he was in such a pissy mood that even Mika was careful and respectful around him.
"Alright. The stage is 90% done. The set is 30% painted. The thing that holds the curtains up has not yet been constructed. Mika, Arrow, Paris, that's your job. I'll help you. Harkat, Mr. Crepsley, Seba, and Kurda will finish the painting." he informed them.
Everyone stared at him.
"Well, go to it already!" Darren snapped.
With minimal backtalk, everyone scurried to their stations. Darren may not have been feeling confident or charismatic, but there was no doubt that he was in control. For exactly 3 hours, 47 minuites, and 28 seconds, no one made a peep.
Then, everything fell apart. It went like this:
Harkat was standing at the top of a 50-foot ladder, hanging up the dark red stage curtain. Darren was carefully directing him. Kurda was humming and painting beneath the ladder. Mika, Arrow, and Paris were nailing a hand rail on the set of four stairs that led from the floor to the stage. Harkat, Seba, Larten, and Kurda were painting peacefully. Suddenly, a particularly violent brush stroke from Kurda sent a glob of gold paint right smack into Seba's left eyeball.
"It BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRNS!" he screeched, clutching his eye, jumping up and running no where in particular, but his route took him over Harkat, whom he tripped on and fell on his face, pinning Larten beneath him. Larten scrambled out from beneath him, but in his haste he didn't look where he was going, and banged his head on one of the steps on the ladder. The laddet shook, but Harkat managed to grab the top of the curtain bar and keep it steady. But however, someone had left an open can of paint on one of the steps, and it came crashing down on Kurda's head. Green paint poured down his body as he screamed muffled-ly from inside the can. He couldn't seem to yank the can off and run in a straight line at the same time, so he crashed through a table, (sending all kinds of power tools plummeting to the floor and spilling a jar of nails) and right into Mika, who shoved him away in disgust. Shoved him right into the ladder. Now, Kurda may not be the heaviest Vampire in the world, but his weight slamming into the base of the ladder was enough to cause the can of paint to part ways with Kurda's skull (sending it's contents splattering all over Darren's masterpiece of a set) and also to push the ladder down...down...down...crash. It landed on a table full of props, costumes, and various some miracle, Harkat was still clinging to the top of the curtain. But not for long. Harkat's scream was drowned out by a long RIIIIIIIIIIIP of the curtain, followed by a muffled whump as Mika caught Harkat, saving him from being splatted all over the floor, followed by the flllllump as the curtain landed on the dirty, paint-splattered floor.
For a minuite, the gang stared at the mess.
"We can clean it up." Darren gulped at last, faking control, confidence, and charisma more than he ever had in his entire life.
Cr-cr-cr-cr-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiickSSSHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSShhhhh-crashblam.
Slowly, as if in a nightmare, the thick wooden beam that had been holding the curtain cracked in half and came flying back to earth...ending its plummet in the middle of the stage. Making a giant crater right in the middle.
And Darren lost it.
"10 MONTHS AGO, I BROUGHT A COMPUTER INTO VAMPIRE MOUNTAIN BECAUSE I WANTED TO SHARE SOMETHING AWESOME WITH MY BEST FRIENDS! I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO USE TOASTERS AND IPODS AND CAMERAS BUT DID ANYONE GIVE A DAMN, NO! I TOOK YOU ON A VACATION AND PUT UP WITH ALL THE COMPLAINING AND BREAKING STUFF AND PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT ALL AT THE SAME TIME! I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO SKI AND NEVER GOT A SINGLE THANK-YOU! WHEN WE GOT STRANDED IN A DAMN VALLEY FOR 2 DAYS, I'M THE ONE WHO STOOD OUT IN THE SNOW FOR HALF THE DAY AND GOT FROSTBITTEN AND ELECTROCUTD TO FIX THE CHAIR LIFT SO WE WOUN'T DIE DOWN THERE! AND NO ONE GAVE A SHIT AS LONG AS WE GOT BACK TO CIVILIZATION IN TIME TO WATCH AMERICAN IDOL! WHEN OUR FLIGHT HOME WAS CANCELLED, YOU WOULD ALL HAVE SLEPT IN THE DAMN AIRPORT IF I HADN'T CHECKED US INTO A NICE HOTEL! NO ONE EVER SAID HEY THANKS, OR NICE HOTEL, OR I'LL PAY FOR MY OWN ROOM! AND WHEN WE GOT BACK BY PURE LUCK AND HARKAT'S HOT-WIRING SKILLS, I HAD TO PLAN AN ENTIRE DAMN SPIDER WEDDING!
FOR 10 MONTHS I'VE PUT UP WITH YOU BEING A STUPID CONTROL FREAK" (he pointed at Larten.) "YOUR PISSY ATTITIDE" (he pointed at Mika.) "YOU THINKING YOU KNOW EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD!" (he pointed at Paris.) ''YOU BEING AN UNCOPPERATIVE, OVER-COMPETITIVE JERK!" (he pointed at Arrow.) "YOU BEING SO PATRONIZING!" (he pointed at Harkat who looked crushed.) "YOU BEING AN OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE SENILE ABOMINATIVE MANIAC!" (he pointed at Seba.) "AND YOU-YOU JUST PLAIN PISS ME OFF!" (he pointed at Kurda.)
"SO EVERYONE CAN JUST GO NUTS AND EAT DAMN COOKIE DOUGH AND SPILL PAINT ON EVERYTHING AND SMASH ALL THE DECORATIONS AND CLIMB THE CHRISTMAS TREE AND OPEN ALL YOUR PRESENTS AND BURN THE STAGE AND FORGET ALL YOUR LINES AND GET DRUNK ON EGGNOG AND WATCH STUPID MOVIES AND DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT THIS CHRISTMAS, BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF TRYING SO HARD TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU!" he finished, gasping for air as tears streamed down his cheeks.
As he turned and ran back to his room, sobbing, not even Harkat knew what to say.
Well there's Darren drama-queening it up. But hey, if you had to live with this crowd you might lose it after 10 months too. I got that idea last May (yes i've been holding it in that long) when my art teacher flipped at us because we weren't doing a very good job painting the set for the school play (which i wasn't in...i'm not a drama kid...at all. not that i'm a set-painter either. for painting the set, we didn't really get a choice in the matter.)
There should be 2 more chapters to come. Keep reading, the ending is gonna be really good. :)
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*Roxxy,
How do you stay so fresh?
I think cool thoughts.
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