-1Okay, okay, okay. So this chapter isn't particularly Christmassy. Unfortunately, when I'm faced with the prospect of writing an argument between L and Light… everything else gets metaphorically chucked out of the window.

Not the plot, of course. The plot's still here, obviously. Even though it might be a little difficult to find…

Disclaimer: Christmas isn't the time for stealing – it's the time for sharing. That's why I'm not stealing the claim to Death Note and A Christmas Carol… and why their true creators are unwittingly sharing them with me.

-

Past, Present, Future

Chapter Two: Past

"… Old… times…?"

As Light said these words, L's dark eyes seemed to bore deep into his very being. The former detective shrugged as the fake detective cowered before him.

"Do I really have to repeat everything I say, Yagami-kun? I know you can hear me perfectly well, and I know more than most that you're certainly not stupid enough to misunderstand my intentions. Yes – I have come here to talk about old times. When I was alive, and you were…" L looked him up and down, "… less likely to wear such an abominable suit."

Despite the fear, Light couldn't help but find the irony in L giving him fashion advice…

"I do understand… but… How can you… Why are you here?"

The ghost bent down to pick another humbug off the floor. "Why am I here? That's a very simple question for me to answer – I'm a little shocked that you need me to tell you. Surely everyone knows why I came here." He paused, plopped the mint into its bag, and continued. "Today is Christmas Eve. Misa-san has gone out for the night, and who knows when she'll be back… which leaves you all alone, Yagami-kun. Nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve – not even cold-hearted mass-murderers."

Not even a sliver of sarcasm seemed to pass his lips.

Light frowned. "But you're… dead. It's not exactly normal for someone who died several years ago to just pop round to someone's house and keep them company."

"I used to believe that you couldn't kill a person just by writing their name down in a book," said L. "It just goes to show that even the most intelligent of us don't know everything."

He made a good point, of course, but being bested in an argument was not one of Light's fondest pastimes. "Fine," he said, "but just get on with whatever you're supposed to be doing and then, if you would be so kind, leave me in peace; dissolve back into the atmosphere, or haunt someone else, or do whatever lost souls are supposed to do."

"You don't seem quite so scared any more, Yagami-kun," L mused, ignoring his insult completely. "I have to admit, you're quite good at covering up all those little insecurities you have. If you weren't, I'm sure you wouldn't have gotten even half as far as you have…"

Light sneered. "This comes from a man who hid every scrap of information about himself –"

"– and was killed even despite that," said L. He had the slightest hint of a smile on his face as he said it. "Which makes me wonder exactly why so many people aspire to be like I was. You included."

Something in the back of Light Yagami's mind itched. He could take the odd insult in his stride, and he could toss even the most major of setbacks aside with the greatest of ease. He could rationalise bizarre and impossible circumstances quicker than anyone else. He could put up with a lot of hassle – but if there was one thing that he could not abide, it was a direct affront to his ambitions. To have this man – this dead man – claim that he, Light Yagami – the almighty Kira, GOD of this new world – aspired to be like him… like anyone…

Idolatry wasn't an option. Aspirations were his and his alone. He didn't set his ambitions by those of other people!! It was preposterous. Disgusting.

"I don't need to aspire to be like you were," he said finally, with venom. "I've already surpassed that… The day I beat you, I surpassed you."

The half-smile only grew more pronounced. "I see," L said slowly. "I am truly sorry that you believe that."

"And what's THAT supposed to mean?"

"I take back that statement about you being intelligent," the ghost sighed. "Obviously these past few years without me providing you with a challenge has left your brain a little… soft."

Light pouted and folded his arms.

"It's true. Ever since you murdered me, you've been doing nothing except pretending to be me and Watari – rather badly, I might add – and laughing to yourself about how clever you are. You haven't done anything. It just so happens that the people around you are gullible enough to go along with your original plan…" L inched a little closer to him. "It's quite depressing to admit that I'm not happy about this, but you're not even being Kira any more. Because I'm dead, I rarely have much else to preoccupy my time – so I've watched you… and from what I've seen, you haven't done any work since my death. You don't even write the names into the Death Note yourself."

"Hypocrite," Light spat. "You didn't do all the manual work in your investigations."

"Again, that's true, Yagami-kun. But once again, you're missing a very important factor. It's true that I didn't do anything to physically help bring about the resolutions of any investigation… but I helped by other means. I actually worked towards solving the case, unlike you. If it were up to you – and unfortunately, it is – the Kira case would carry on until the world gave in and accepted you as a social normal… perhaps even a necessity."

"Oh, and you're saying that you wouldn't do exactly the same, if you were in my position?"

L shook his head, his features blurring slightly as he did so. "No, I wouldn't do the same thing. Your plan lacks style – it lacks… what I expected from Kira. Anyone can sit and wait to be accepted. For the ambitious young man that I used to know, however, it would be all too easy. This plan you're using now is more like something I would have expected from the Kyosuke Higuchi Kira, not the real one. Face it, Yagami-kun: you've lost it."

"No," Light growled. "I haven't lost it. I DON'T lose. I NEVER lose. The only reason it looks like that is because I don't NEED to try hard as hard as I did before. Just because things are getting easier for me - just because the world is beginning to accept Kira as their rightful god…"

Something outside rumbled.

"… Just because I've already changed the world for the better, and just because you lost… you're feeling insecure. You're taking it out on me."

It was very quiet. Only the soft echoes of the unknown rumblings permeated the silence.

L stared.

After a long, long time…

… he held out the half-filled bag of humbugs.

"Would you like a mint?"

"I'd like you to shut up," said Light. "Here I am, on Christmas Eve, getting insulted by a man I actually witnessed dying. If your original plan was to bring me festive cheer, then you've failed. Miserably."

"So, I assume you don't want a mint then."

Light batted the bag out of L's ghostly grip. The mints he had collected were scattered about the place once more. "No," he said flatly. "I do not."

L looked at his now empty hand, then up at Light, down to the floor, and back at his hand. "You didn't have to be so horrible about it… Those were my mints, Light-kun."

"I don't care. I really don't care," Light huffed.

"That's your problem. You don't care about ANYTHING any more. Not like before… where even the smallest detail used to mean something to you," the ghost mumbled.

And, suddenly, the world blinked.

The comfortable surroundings of Light's room had gone. Instead, the pair were standing on a street. It was cold, and people milled about them wearing coats and boots that - Light noticed - seemed to be a little out of fashion. The sky above them was a flat, grey plain and… curiously, though it had been late evening only a few minutes ago… it seemed to be midday.

"Wha…"

"A flashback. Unfortunately, these sorts of things come hand in hand with being dead," L shrugged.

"A flashback," Light frowned. "Really. Couldn't you at least have been a little more subtle than that?"

"Yet again, Light-kun… being blatant also comes hand in hand with being dead," he replied. "Now be good and shut up. Otherwise you'll miss it."

"Fine. I might as well try to enjoy this little imaginary episode I'm having," said Light, rolling his shoulders back, and prepared for the inevitably 'important' event to unfold before him.

Following L's line of sight, his eyes fell upon two young men walking along. One was tall and proud, with neat reddish-brown hair and smart (if slightly outdated) clothes; the other was hunched over, and looked an absolute mess, as though he had slept in his clothes or - more accurately - had not slept at all. It was vaguely interesting to see himself from the outside… but other than that, he was not particularly impressed. After all, this was a flashback. Only a fool wouldn't expect to see themselves in a flashback.

The Light Yagami and L from the past appeared to be talking about something, though from this distance it was difficult to determine quite what it was. The past Light gesticulated casually with his hands every once in a while, which made the present-day Light vaguely self-conscious. Did he really make those choppy hand movements that often?

As though he was reading his mind, L muttered, "You're certainly getting very passionate about your side of the argument. I'm surprised no one else noticed that side to you - if they had, convincing them that you were Kira would have been a lot easier."

"So what are we talking about?" Light indicated over to his former self. "What's so important that you needed to take me back to this moment?"

"Would you like to listen in? We won't technically be eavesdropping, seeing as it's ourselves." Without giving him a chance to reply, L grabbed the sleeve of Light's arm with his icy fingers and dragged him closer to them. The nearer they got, the clearer the conversation came.

"… want a shortcake?" said past-Light. "Are you sure that's a good idea? You've been eating sweets all morning."

"Yes, I suppose I have," mused past-L. "And right now, I would like a strawberry shortcake."

"But… you've been eating sweets ALL morning. Surely that tells you something."

"It tells me…" said past-L, "… that I'm obviously not full yet. On account of wanting a strawberry shortcake."

Past-Light scowled, and made another choppy hand movement. "It isn't healthy. Eating sweets all the time… It'll ruin your teeth, for one thing. You'll put on weight, and the sugars you find in cakes only provide a quick boost of energy. It's no wonder you drink so much coffee, you probably wouldn't have any energy at all if you didn't…"

"Is this going to be a lecture, Light-kun?" past-L groaned.

"Well, I wouldn't have to be lecturing you if you didn't have a little more self-restraint. You're an important man - the least you could do is set a good example to people by taking care of yourself a little better."

"Nobody sees me. It really doesn't matter how I keep myself."

Present-day Light furrowed his brow, and looked on. "Excuse me… but why are we watching this again?"

L rolled his dark eyes, and gave his miserable companion a playful nudge in the ribs, sending shivers down his spine. "It's worse than I thought… You're starting to remind me of Matsuda-san more and more. Only Matsuda-san is a little more honest."

"DON'T patronise me," Light grumbled.

"… Fine. If you're going to be persistently stupid," L smirked a little, "I suppose I'll have to help you out. Just look at yourself over there: telling me about healthy eating - which, I might add, was the last thing I needed to worry about. You were so… dedicated. Even if you weren't really worried about my health, the fact that you were arguing the point with me goes to show that, once upon a time, you were passionate about things. Actually, the fact that you couldn't see the reason in me showing you this just goes to show that you really DON'T care any more. If you were able to look beyond yourself right at this moment in time, you would have been able to see this."

"Oh, just SHUT U…"

Light swung a fist at L as hard as he could… but instead of connecting, his arm sank straight through the ghost's stomach. Mist and ice wrapped around his fingers and, due to the amount of force he had put behind his violent attack, Light found himself sprawling through the insubstantial, freezing cold body of the dead detective. He tumbled towards the pavement…

… and landed on his face, on the floor in his room.

Alone.

"Finally," Light sniffed. "Now I can get back to my book."

-

Author's Note: Bah. This is probably all kinds of terrible, and pretty abrupt to boot... but I've set myself an impossible deadline in which to write this up. Rest assured, though - Light Yagami's evening isn't going to be plain sailing... He's only dealt with the ghost of Christmas Past so far - Present and Future are waiting in the wings.

Any guesses who they might be? :3