Derek groaned from the headache pounding in his head. He really should not have drank as much as he did but that was done and over with. He rose slowly; his body off-balance and he slowly went down the hallway to his room. He sighed when he allowed himself to fall into his bed, tired from everything that happened today. He sighed as he felt his bed sink from Clooney's weight and sighed again when Clooney merely laid next to him in silence. He screwed up; really badly, he was beyond the point of no return and he wished he could fix it but he knew what happened happen. He looked out his window as the skies started to approach night and he wondered how JJ was doing. He wished he could call someone to talk to him or her and get his or her advice but the person he would normally call was the one woman he messed up with. This sucked so much. Derek looked over to Clooney and started to scratch his dog's head.
"Clooney, tell me how to fix this. I mean what was I thinking? It wasn't as if I was completely gone; I still was in a fairly clear state of mind. I feel like such an idiot, I probably messed up one of the best relationships I have ever had. To make it worst, I can't stop thinking about it, I can't stop thinking about JJ." He looked to Clooney hoping he would say something to make him feel better but Clooney only turned his head sideways and raised his eyebrows as if to say, 'Stupid man, I'm a dog. Dogs don't talk.' Morgan couldn't help but chuckle at the thought and he groaned as the chuckle made his head pound again. This was sad and pathetic, but to be honest he passed that point when he tried to drink his problems away.
Derek reached over for the Tylenol on the table next to him and took 2 pills dry. He stared up at the ceiling wondering if he closed his eyes and wished hard enough that all of this will turn out to be a bad dream but he knew that this was the reality that he was in and he had to find a way to deal with it. He looked out the window see that the storm was still raging outside and he wondered if JJ was okay, if Will came home, if they were together hugging, laughing and kissing and the more that Derek thought about it the more his jealously rose. This was bad, the feelings he was developing were dangerous and they were wrong.
He closed his eyes again and hoped that sleep would take him, he really did not want to deal with this, and he did not want to think about what happened. He really wished he could have done things differently but he knew that this is what he had to deal with and he knew that between him and JJ, one of them was going to have to make a move to make this right. He wished she had given them the chance to talk about it right there but he had a feeling that she knew that if they were to remain within close proximity of each other that they would end up doing the one thing that put them in this situation. He rubbed his eyes in frustration. Right now he was doing a whole lot of wishing, in other words he was doing a whole lot of nothing.
This was so stressful; Derek was sure that he has never been in a situation that put this much strain on his thoughts, he felt sick, upset, frustrated, and whole myriad of other emotions that he did not wish to name. Damn, he thought his mother asking him to settle down was different, that was like a walk in a park compared to the mess that he found himself in now. He really wished he could talk to someone, anyone that would be willing to listen and give him advice on how to fix this. He thought about possible people and the list was not all that appealing, not that he did not have trustful people he could divulge this secret to, but this was something he felt really needed to remain between him and JJ. "Clooney, I am so screwed!" He turned only to find Clooney asleep on his pillow and Derek scowled, jealous that his dog could find peace and he could not. "You know Clooney, you truly fail at the role "Man's best friend." I mean come on, if I can't depend on you to tell my secrets to whom can I trust? Clooney?" Clooney only snored and turned onto his other side as if telling Derek to give it a rest and go to sleep. "Thanks Clooney, you're a big help."
Derek sighed as he flopped back onto the bed and sighed again as he stared at the ceiling. This was pathetic, he was arguing with his dog. This whole situation was getting sadder by the hour. So this is what sleeping with a friend does; Derek made a personal reminder to stay away from Elle, Emily, and Pen when they were feeling down and there were drinks involved because Derek did not think he could do this again. So when that time of month comes and the girls get into their occasional tiff with their beaus then Derek was going to call it a night and hide in the men's bathroom so that they would not come and complain to him.
Derek rolled over to look out the window again and stared, letting his thoughts drift to everything that happened. He could not ignore the calm that came over him when his thoughts strayed to JJ and his sighed, not sure how to feel that it takes thoughts of JJ, the woman that he was stressed out about, to calm him down and bring him to a peace of mind. He wished it wasn't so, but now he needed to rest because he had work tomorrow and he had to be prepared to either face JJ or ignore what happened between them and pretend that everything was okay between. He just hoped that he did not let any lingering feelings jeopardize his and JJ's relationship any further.