Twisted Hearts

by brit-tah-nah

Santana's life takes a turn when her childhood friend, Brittany, suddenly came back to her life in her senior year. Slowly they slip back to their old patterns until falling in love became a problem. Soon they both discover that love is just a little complicated. Badass!Santana.

7. Chapter 7

Santana was annoyed. But who could blame her? She wasted her whole lunch time in the principal's office trying to convince Figgins to take her off the fucking glee club.

She fucking doesn't need it. But apparently that damn Figgins holds a major grudge against her from her whole vomit fiasco. Seriously? That was like last week ago. He really needs to let that one go. Besides its not her fault she thought his cheap looking thrift shop suit needed a major upgrade. He should be the one thanking her for doing him a public service.

Ugh. It was totally unfair.

But she guesses it couldn't be all that bad. Glee that is. After all, the three stooges are in there. Probably because of Berry. She doesn't know what the girl did to convince Puckerman or that half bitch Fabray to join but she figures it's better not to question it. Especially after that brutal 3 hour long PowerPoint presentation Rachel did that one time about "The Memoirs of the Only Berry in the Berry's Family Tree" complete with her original song rendition, when she made a mistake in asking Rachel what her middle name was. That was enough lesson for her to never question that girl almost about anything.

Speaking of Berry, she can't believe she's even saying this because she's pretty sure some bad shit is gonna come back and bite her in the ass for even thinking of it.

But maybe.

Just maybe.

It won't be all that bad with the loud brunette in there. Maybe Rachel can cut her some slack and she could totally just sit there, pretend she's listening and all, and then bolt as soon as it ends. After all, Rachel Berry is the self appointed president of that pointless tuba chaser club. That girl should at least give her a free pass for making her constantly put up with her loud beak.

But god knows she doesn't need more time with that midget. Because comeon', she's pretty sure she could think of a thousand more ways she could spend her extra curricular time doing something -or someone- else. Which again, she's sure would be a lot more fun than singing show choir tunes. But she guesses most of the people in the Glee club weren't that bad. Sure they were a bunch of tone deaf singing losers but she only gets half annoyed with them. They are after all, one of the few accepting people in school who more or less did not change the way they treated her when she officially came out. Probably because they're in such a low status that their opinion barely even mattered to her but whatever, because her real problem with the Gleek are their constant diva offs and their need to sing about every little life drama. It irritates her. She swears one time she heard them singing about headbands. She now makes a mental note, every time she skips, to never walk by that corridor that holds the choir room.

Anyways she can only handle an hour and a half of 'dem Gleeks before she'll blow her fuse and starts to go onto this massive rampage. Good thing that lame ass Glee is only an hour long. Which gives her half an hour leeway. So maybe Glee Club can be a bit bearable. But still, that doesn't mean she's not putting a fight with it.

That's why she spent her whole lunch time convincing Figgins that Glee club is actually a bad thing.

Deadly in fact.

A bit for her but mostly for the people around her. But Figgins must not have been cleaning his ears or he just doesn't give a shit anymore because whatever she said fell deaf on his ears. So when the bell rang signalling the end of lunch time, she groaned in frustration. Figgins was still in his long ass speech about how Glee would set her soul free.

The fuck?

The only thing she's setting free is another vomit if he doesn't stop yapping. Thank god for doe eyed Pillsbury, the guidance councilor, for coming in. That girl gives her the major creeps with her massive pamphlets collections on just about anything but who is she to judge? Everyone has their own weird fetishes. Besides right now, she sees the interruption as heaven sent. She immediately dashed off as soon as the door cracked open.

Freedom never felt that good.

She wanted to ditch her next class to make up for her lunch time that she had lost. She normally skips to get her smokes on or sometimes she takes a nap, depending on her mood, but she doesn't want Figgins to go all up in her grill again and start sticking her in some even more weird ass clubs like the A/V club or something. Unless that V stands for something else she's definitely not gonna be signing up for that club.

So with no choice left, she came bounding in class, just in time for once, which surprised many of her fellow classmates. It was quite amusing to watch how their eyes widen in shock and some mouths even dropped wide open. She couldn't help but give them her famous smirk. She even did her strut while giving them her patented bitch glare. It was rumoured to have killed puppies and little kids.

As if.

Seriously. She almost rolled her eyes so far back in her head when she first heard of it. Even Fabray had a good laugh about it. Berry just thought it was just plain horrible. Typical Berry. But Puckerman had just lost it, he was laughing so hard he fell on the floor. Ha. Who says karma ain't a bitch?

But really, some rumours were just too fucking crazy because let's face it, she could clearly wipe out more than a puppy and 'dem little kids with her death glare. Maybe a moose or something even bigger. Like that ogre stump "Jersey boy" talking to blondie right now. He'd be a perfect candidate. Maybe then she wouldn't have to see blondie all smiley and shit while talking to him. Not that the girl isn't always smiling because she swears that girl must be fucking high all the time in order for her to be that happy cause who the fuck smiles all the time like that?

She doesn't like seeing it. She must have develop some allergies to it because seeing blondie like that does things to her. It makes her heart hammer so hard against her chest that she's afraid it would soon break out of her chest. Her stomach isn't helping either. This all can't be healthy. Especially now that Brittany's smile had grown even more when the blonde sees her.

She definitely feels sick.

Ugh. Why the fuck is blondie even in her class? And why the fuck is it that she feels like it's her first time smoking her cigarette all over again? She feels like she's back to the time she first held a cigarette between her fingers and she remembers reminding herself of the many posters, pamphlets and info video she had read and seen all of which were warning her of how terrible it is. But that didn't stop her from placing that white perfectly rolled tobacco between her lips. It stung her eyes to tears and she remembers she coughed so hard she thought her lungs were about to collapse. It felt like there was something stuck on her throat that she couldn't seem to remove. Her chest was burning so badly too that she knew then that it really couldn't have been good for her. And she could have stop at anytime after that.

She should have.

But she didn't.

Instead, she kept inhaling and inhaling. The burning sensation didn't seem to dull nor did that lodge on her throat disappeared. Every puff was painful but it was addicting enough for her to continue. Besides the pain for it was nothing compared to the hollowness she feels inside of her. With every breath, with every smoke, the hollowness seems to lessen and lessen and as crazy as it sounds, she feels like she could breathe again. It was a chaotic cycle she entered in and blondie felt just like that. She's like a cigarette, so addicting and so bad for her but she just can't seem to get enough of.

Ugh. This feeling she gets, whatever it is, can't be good. Ever since the blonde came back to her life, she feels like she's always on high alert. Her body is so tense and always on guard. She's so anxious of everything. Its ridiculously frustrating. On top of that, there seems to be a constant tug that seems to be pulling her closer and closer to something she doesn't even understand herself because with just one look from the blonde she suddenly feels helpless.

She doesn't like it. She doesn't like it at all.

So she does what she does best. She crosses her arms, her face hardening, as she slumps down on her seat trying her best to ignore the girl besides her. It was difficult as every part of her body was somehow itching to look back at the blue eyes she could feel looking at her. It was really unnerving that her mood was slowly getting worse and worse as the seconds go.

Maybe she should have forced Jewfro to switch spot with her just so she could be away from blondie whose look was making her chest tighten all the more that she is almost short for breath. It was borderline pathetic and scary to be so weak against her.

"Fuck this shit," she couldn't help but cursed to herself.

She excuses her lack of nicotine for the weird sensations she's been having. This must be a side effect for her not smoking during lunch, she thought. Maybe she should really have opted for that smoke. Whatever. Too late now. Worse thing comes to worse was that she could always sneak out when Bates starts to bore her, which shouldn't be too long because it always happens the second he starts talking. Speaking of Bates. He hasn't come in yet. Figures. That bald old teacher would be late on the day she's actually on time.

"Hey. You came."

Her breath hitches though it was barely noticeable. Perhaps she was waiting for that voice to call for her or perhaps that voice was too gentle and soft for her to ignore because almost automatically her head turns towards the person she's been convincing herself not to look.

When she thought she had it bad, she couldn't have been more wrong because it felt ten times more disarming when she sees Brittany's soft features directed at her. She takes a deep breath when the blonde smiles warmly at her with that silly grin of hers, that somehow feels like something had escape from the pit of Santana's stomach. The feeling seems to topple her over but she calms herself enough because years of knowing Brittany had just taught her that.

"Wouldn't miss it blondie," Santana said sarcastically. Her face expressionless, void of any turmoil she feels inside of her. She hopes that whatever she feels would soon disappear.

It doesn't.

It only got worse when Brittany smiles at her even more, because suddenly it feels like the world had stop just to witness that moment and she's not at all surprised at that because there was something in the way Brittany had smiled at her. The taller girl's lips curled upwards showing her teeth that were perfectly aligned, her cheeks ample just enough to give her this radiant look, and side of her eyes softly crinkle and her blue eyes -soft and sincere- that Santana feels herself crawling in, brightened like the sun that she feels the warmness made a home straight at her chest. She feels dizzy for a split second. The unexpected warmness rushing inside of her, spreading through her body, melting her.

"You're on time this time." Brittany's blue eyes quickly glances at the wall clock before it comes fleeting back towards Santana, not wanting to miss another moment to look at those dark brown eyes that looks like it holds every secrets to the universe.

"Keeping a tab on me now to fend of your midnight stalker tendencies?" Santana asked. Her voice a little shaky but her mouth was slightly twitching, fighting off a smile.

"Well I happen to know what you're doing later," Brittany replied mischievously.

The corner of Santana's lips finally lifts into a small smile, "That's just wanky."

"And..," Brittany started, playfully rolling her eyes, "I was here before you got here. So I think you might be the one following me San."

Santana raises her eye brow before she shakes her head from unwanted thoughts that invades her when she sees the blonde's face brighten even more in this soft hue, that made the girl look sparkling and beautiful. All the while, Santana feels a strange sensation growing between them as they both held each other's gaze. The dark haired girl almost groans in panic when she slowly feels the beginning of an intense feeling she experienced earlier coming back to her, except this time she fears it would be a lot worse. She clamps her fists tight trying to push it away. It took her a few seconds before Santana was able to break through her stupor.

"As if," the brunette snorted, "I got way better things to do than that."

"I figured," Brittany nodded disappointingly. The blonde had her lips slightly pouting, the same way she always does back when they way younger. It always made Santana feel like her own heart is betraying her. But this time around Santana couldn't care less. At least that's what she tells herself.

It was then another voice interrupted them which successfully draws Brittany's attention away from the brunette. Santana feels the fire that had nested in her chest slowly extinguished.

"Wait.. You two know each other?"

Ugh. Fucking Jersey boy. Seriously, what kind of question was that? Santana couldn't help but roll her eyes at him. Could he look even more desperate? He looks like a cat in heat. So gross. "No shit Sherlock," she says sharply, her eyes narrowed. "How long did that take for you to figure out?"

"We're childhood friends," Brittany explained, casting an unsure glance towards Santana, almost questioning on whether or not that very fact itself is real. After all, from the way Santana had been acting the last few days it seems more believable for them to be strangers than someone who once knew each other inside out. "We grew up together."

Santana couldn't help but feel a little smug about it. "Ha that's right homeboy," she gloated as she smirks towards lumpy stump ogre. She received a small pointed look from Brittany but the latina could tell from the small grin that the blonde was sporting that the girl was quite amused with her answer.

"Oh," Kyle said surprised. "I didn't know you two knew each other that far back."

"And now you do," Santana hissed getting really irritated that the boy is still talking. "So how about you turn the other way," she said dismissively while twirling her fingers, "afores one of us gets hurts and I'm giving you a clue, it definitely won't be me."

Good thing Jersey boy ain't as deaf as Figgins as he slowly turned his attention away from them while giving Brittany a small shrug.

"Sorry," Brittany offered towards Kyle who gave her a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry about it."

Santana doesn't know why but this irritates her even more. A bitter taste left her mouth, stinging her stomach with needles. "The fuck are you apologizing to him for? You know what? Whatever. You can talk to him as much as you want blondie," she yells angrily which catches almost everyone's attention. She doesn't give a fuck. They can all look at her all they want. She really doesn't give a fuck anymore. "I don't even know why I bother," she continued, annoyed, as she glares at the blonde. Her face hardened as the next few words came out harsh and bitter. "You're fucking wasting my time."

Not wanting to see anymore of Brittany's reaction, which was slowly crumbling, Santana swiftly turns her head towards the front, her face still scowling as she clamps her teeth and folds her arms across her chest protectively. The twinge in her stomach worsen and the atmosphere around her considerably tensed. Santana just wants nothing but to swallow everything she's feeling in hopes that it will all disappear.

Ugh. Brittany was just so annoying. Her sad look was annoying. Her smile was annoying. Everything about her was annoying.

It was then Bates came rushing in almost too eager to start his lecture which successfully draws everyone's attention away from the furious looking Santana. She never thank the impeccable timing of her bald headed teacher. She reminds herself not to annoy him as much next time.

Beside her, she could feel those blue eyes glancing at her. She knows Brittany wants to tell her something but she wills herself to not look back because she knows once she does she'll be stuck in this cycle she feels herself slowly being lured in.

But as the seconds go by the itching desire to cast a brief glance won her over. She instantly scolds herself once she does because what she sees only made her chest tighten all the more. It may only have been half a second but it felt a whole lot longer than that because within that short span, she fully sees the sad look playing on Brittany's face. Her eyes meeting the blue that somehow lacks it's usual lustre and brilliance that causes a heaviness inside of Santana to grow.

Fuck. She'd rather see the blondie smiling and shit because at least then she wouldn't feel like the whole world was weighing her down. Ugh. This is the very thing that she warned herself about. This is what she kept telling herself. The blonde was just bad news.

So this time around, the latina keeps her eyes trained to the front as she tries to focus her attention to whatever the hell Bates was talking about. It was the first time in a long time she actually tries to listen in class but every time she tries to, she remembers Brittany's crest fallen face and it made it impossible for her to even focus on just about anything. Ugh. She should have really opted for that smoke cause maybe then she wouldn't feel like her heart had just met her stomach.

When the class ended Santana immediately bolted out of the class not even casting a quick glance towards Brittany. She's afraid that once she sees that sad look again, her wills may just disappear and she may do something that's uncharacteristically not like her. That's why she needs to get far away from the blonde as possible. She couldn't stand the pounding pressure she feels wallowing up inside of her. It was getting too much.

As soon as she was at least 10 classrooms away from blondie, Santana feels the tightening in her chest lessen and she could breathe freely again, though the heaviness didn't seem to disappear. She sighs in relief when the cloudy haze she felt she was in slowly dissipated, but she immediately wished for it back. Because one thing became clear to her. Cigarettes were a bad addiction but Brittany is a lot worse than a cigarette.

---

Santana's not entirely too sure how she even got here. One minute she was hanging out with Fabray -who had heard about what happened earlier during class so it was more like her getting lectured the whole time- and the next she's standing outside the Pierce's house.

God knows how long she's been standing there, staring at the door waiting for an answer to magically come to her. The whole time, she was debating on whether or not she should ring the damn doorbell or turn around and just leave. After all, she still has time to turn back and forget this whole thing even happened. She could pretend she forgot about it or something. But as soon as she thought of that, the blonde's sad face pops into her head and the heaviness she's been feeling would double that she finds it so hard to breathe again. Ugh. Even now, the blonde doesn't seem to stop tormenting her. It's so damn annoying. She doesn't even understand it herself because normally she would have a shit eating grin playing on her face, like she's won the lottery, every time she manages to make someone's life a living hell. But this time around, she doesn't even feel close to winning anything at all.

Ugh. She groaned. Why the fuck did she even agreed to this? Ugh. Fucking Rachel. She blames her. If that midget didn't snuck her cigarettes away that day, she wouldn't have been in hysteria making crazy decisions like that. She made a mental note to strangle Berry once she get out of this.

But for now, she takes a couple of deep breaths forcing a hesitant smile before ringing the doorbell with her shaky fingers.

She stood there for a second, feet shuffling anxiously as she briefly taps her chest, calming her heart down while consequently releasing a small sigh of relief when she feels a cold metal against her touch. But that doesn't stop her from feeling nervous. She keeps pulling her skintight dress down to a "dinner appropriate" length. Maybe she should have worn her dark wash skinny jeans. She quickly examines herself once more, fidgeting on the dark blue fabric. Fuck. She should have really worn that damn skinny jeans. But before she could run back and quickly change, she was startled at the sound of the door opening.

It was Brittany's mom.

The colour she felt drain out of her suddenly came back. Her heartbeat slowed down just a little bit, but it was still beating frighteningly fast.

"Santana," Mrs. Pierce greeted her.

She forcibly quirk her lips upwards as she looks at the very same woman who was like a second mother to her. Brittany's mom looks exactly the same way as Santana remembers her, with her big warm smile and soft blue eyes that were kinda like Brittany's, except it lacks the lustre that Brittany seems to have.

"Hi Mrs. Pierce," she chirps and almost as soon as the words leaves her mouth, Brittany's mom pulled her in into a tight hug.

Santana stood stiff, surprised by the gesture. It had been so long since she felt a hug from a mother that it seems so foreign to her. She almost forgot how good it even felt. So in that short moment she secretly reveled, like a child, in the way Mrs. Pierce had wrap her arms around her, wondering if she could ever feel the arms of her very own mother once again. But just as fast as she allowed herself to enjoy this moment, the part of her that had been hurt and abandoned started to take over her that Santana immediately retracted, her smile momentarily dropping as bitter thoughts of her own mother flooded her. She forces another smile hoping it looks convincing enough to mask the inner turmoil she felt brewing inside of her.

She breathes a little easier when Mrs. Pierce gushes at her. "It's so nice to see you again Santana," Mrs. Pierce cradles Santana's face examining her like a mother to a child. "You're all grown up," the older blonde tears up as she pulls her in for another tight hug. "We've all miss you."

"Me too," the latina replies softly, for once honest with her response.

"Come in come in," Mrs. Pierce joyfully ushers her in. "Brad," she yells ecstatically, "Quick. Santana is here."

"How are you and Mr. Pierce been?"

"Oh hush," the blonde's mom chuckles. "Since when did we ever use that formality towards each other?" She smiles. "But Brad and I have been good."

Santana nods and before everything got too much she averts her eyes and looks around the house. The house felt homey and welcoming and so completely different from her own that even if she's only been there for approximately one minute and thirty seconds (she's been counting), it still made her feel a lot more at home than she ever felt in her own house.

"My my is that little Santana?" Mr. Pierce came in excitedly cutting through Santana's thoughts. She didn't even have the chance to response as she was once more enveloped in a tight hug.

This is probably the most hugs Santana has ever gotten that she's quite sure she had reached her maximum quota. She might start breaking into hives.

"I'm not so little anymore," Santana quips at the very same man who use to give her piggyback rides.

"Well, I'm glad you can make it to dinner," Mr. Pierce chimes while Mrs. Pierce added, "I hope it's no trouble. We know how busy you teenagers are."

Santana shakes her head at the two, "Thank you for inviting me over."

"Feel free to visit anytime." Mr. Pierce nods in agreement to his wife of 30 years. "I better go check on that dinner before we'd end up ordering in," he smiles as he heads towards what Santana assumes was the kitchen.

Once he was gone. Mrs. Piece smiles at Santana again. "Let me take a good look of you again."

"Mom. You're smothering her," a voice broke through humming through Santana like a soft melody that sends her body into a rigid state but despite that, she feels like every nerve of her body was slowly being tickled.

How long had blondie been standing there? Had she been there the whole time?

The longer Santana stood there the more questions she had in her head. She didn't dare look back at Brittany, even though she knows sooner or later she has got to. It doesn't escape her thoughts that her heart started beating unbelievably fast -faster than she'd ever felt- that she hears a constant drumming in her ears. It only got worse when Santana reluctantly faces Brittany. She feels her eyes widen slightly, her stomach curling, and whatever thoughts and questions she had in her head was completely wiped out.

That familiar feeling came swooping down on her. Deep heaviness weighing her down that she could hardly breathe. She still hasn't quite figured it out yet. At least not fully. But she almost had gotten it down because her reaction is almost the same. After the girl manages to catch her off guard, there's a split second when her breath hitches. Then, she feels her heart becoming unsettled while her insides would feel like waves of jello splashing against one another.

It scares her because it makes her head spin like tornado hurling her into a path so unknown to her. And maybe she could figure it all out if only the hammering of her heart would just stop even for a few seconds.

But it doesn't.

It never seems to.

Like earlier, she wanted to turn back. Go as far as possible away from the blonde, extract herself from this weird sensation she's been feeling. But this time around she found herself stuck in place. Her energy seemed to have failed her. The ringing in her ears only grew louder and louder.

By this time, she stops forcing herself to look away because no matter how she desperately tries to avert her eyes, she can't. She knows it's impossible because as the seconds go, the more she finds herself looking at Brittany. And the more she looks, the more harder it seems to look away.

It was like a door has found a way to unlock itself deep inside of her because the feelings she has in her heart, a feeling she had long closed off, was slowly overflowing. The impulse to be closer to the blonde, a thought she keeps pushing and pushing away, hoping it would die out, was resurfacing, striving and growing even more. She didn't even realize it had grown, seeping away at the cracks of the wall she had built, until it had manage to burst through every fibre and every cell inside her body. And the longer her eyes remained lock with Brittany, the bigger and stronger the feelings grew.

She didn't know what sort of face she was making because right now she doesn't even know what the fuck she's feeling. All she seems to want right now is to throw everything away and just let things be the way it were because frankly, she's getting tired of fighting this urge, this pull, inside of her.

But she knows reality is never that easy. She knows she can never go back to that place it once were. Maybe for a little bit, she could roughly touch the surface and feel that everything was back to normal but it's nothing more than that. It's never going to be more than that. It's always going to be a small part of a dream that would never become a reality.

So in those moments when she catches a small glimpse of it, a small part of her she had long repressed would try to snatch it because she'll take whatever she can get. Scraps and pieces of a little fragment was still better than nothing after all.

And she gets this when she looks at Brittany, when she's with Brittany. It's something so small but it's fills her with a sense of satisfaction, even if sometimes it feels like she's drowning in this bottomless pool. Never had she wanted something so badly that she wants nothing to be part of.

It frustrates her to no end because the blonde was just too painful to be with. Brittany reminds her of everything she tries to bury. That's why she wanted to push the blonde so far away from her life. She wanted to shut her out completely because damn it, she's not going to go through another person leaving her. She barely survived having the blonde leaving her the first time. She's not quite sure she can survive it again. That's why sometimes she wishes she had never met the blonde because then she could sleep soundly at night without pretending not to miss her. But just the thought of that burns her heart because the blonde was (and is) the best thing she had ever got to know and a life without meeting her would feel like its no life at all. So even if she shuts her eyes and reminds herself stay on guard, to never let the blonde back into her life, the soft blue eyes calls her like it always does. And she answers. The dull ache of longing inside of her seems to lessen and lessen. The fog that was playing in her head thins and Santana blinks once.

Twice.

Until everything was clear to her. It was almost surreal how Brittany is standing a few feet away from her when eight years have passed without her seeing the blonde.

"Hey," the blonde girl waves shyly at her before stepping forward towards them.

Santana stomach does a flip. "Hey," she manage to reply without sounding so breathless. Her dark brown eyes carefully examining the look Brittany was sporting. A wave of relief exits her when she sees no trace of sadness emitting from the girl.

She could tell Brittany was excited, judging by the way the girl was practically bouncing up and down the balls of her feet. Her eyes of sapphires were lighting up like Christmas and the blonde now had a small smile set on her face that was slowly growing as each second goes by. Santana couldn't help but allow her lips to curl just a tiny bit from the scene before her. The pressure that had been weighing her down since this afternoon slowly dissipated.

Brittany was wearing a plaid shirt with a few buttons undone. Her blonde hair was tied up in a messy bun that Santana was tempted to reach out and tuck those few lose strands away, briefly wondering how it would feel against her fingers, but she lacks the courage to do so.

So instead, she keeps her hands well on her side and her eyes steady on the blonde, watching the way the blue flickers the same way it always does when their eyes meet. Bright blue eyes stares back at her. She swears she could see the whole universe reflected in Brittany's eyes and for a second she almost wanted to look away because she felt that it was too precious for her to look at.

"Oh don't be shy," Mrs. Pierce's voice broke out, cutting them off from their intense staring contest. "You guys hug it out. Don't mind me," she chuckled before turning around. "I have to check the stove before Brad ends up burning our food. I'll call you when dinner is ready."

She's sure both of them barely even heard what the older blonde had said. Something about a hug and dinner, the rest was tuned out by the still drumming of her ears.

What happens next surprises her.

One minute she was standing there and the next Brittany had reached out for her. She gasp when strong arms gently wraps around her neck pulling her into a hug. She stood motionless, eyes fleeting everywhere. Unlike the hug earlier this one was a whole lot different. The skin that touches her were warm. Oh so warm that she felt like Brittany was melting the burden she had in her.

Despite the many years that had gone by and the obvious height difference between them, Santana felt a small sense of something akin to happiness when their body manages to still fit perfectly. Like how Brittany's arms had grown just the right length that she could envelop Santana in a hug like that. Or how the blonde's head is perfectly cradled between her neck and shoulder that she wonders if she could find someone who fits her like Brittany.

Those thoughts were lost when she fully realized how close they were.

They were so close that everything Brittany was invading her senses.

She could smell the blonde. The sweet scent of familiarity and something else that was making her delirious. The soft even breathing tickling the side of her cheeks were both warm and cold that it grips her common senses.

Santana could even feel the blonde's heart against her chest, beating wildly, but it could have been hers. She's not quite sure anymore. Nothing makes sense anymore.

She was dizzy from the closeness.

Santana felt like she was back to her younger self. The younger Santana that Brittany once knew. She felt like it was just yesterday. As if all those eight years that had gone by had never happened.

As her resolves thins, she slowly let's go of her inhibition and she let's her guard down. She doesn't even resist the urge that she had to bury her head against Brittany's and pull the girl closer towards her. She tells herself a few seconds wouldn't be that bad.

So when her arms hesitantly wrapped around Brittany's waist, she feels a small jolt running through her exploding like a mini firework to where their skin touches. She draws her even closer, fireworks bursting everywhere in her body, as she counts down each second before her allotted time ends.

She hears Brittany sigh. The blonde must have felt it too because this feeling is just too overwhelming for her to be feeling all alone. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, taking in everything she's feeling. With her every breath she was once more hit with the sweet scent of Brittany.

She thinks she made the right choice of pulling Brittany close because for the first time in a long time, Santana feels like herself again. The turmoil whirling inside of her had died down into a soft gentle murmur. She likes this feeling. She likes the soft warm breath fanning against her neck, slowly setting her at ease. She's sure at that moment that nothing could be better than that and so she fears that once she loosens her hold even for just a tiny bit, this little bit of serenity she feels wrap around her arms would disappear out of her life once again.

So Santana tightens her hold just a bit more, allowing herself a little bit more extra time to stay within those arms. She feels Brittany smile tickle her shoulder. She smiles too. For the first time that night, a true genuine smile graced her face because Brittany used to do this that Santana knows what's coming next. Just after the blonde would place her arms around her neck, drawing her closer, the girl would lay her cheeks close to her, murmuring with her lips near her ear, that ever so slightly teases her core. It's the exact same motion, that she almost laughed when Brittany whispers, "I miss this."

She feels a small tremor run through her body and in that exact moment Santana wanted so badly to tell her, "I miss this too. But I miss you the most." There were so many words she wanted to tell her, so many things she wanted to voice out, but it all died out, again and again, before it could even enter her lips.

Her unresponsiveness didn't seem to bother Brittany as the girl murmured into her ears once more, "I'm glad you're here."

She should probably let go soon.

She knows she can't want this too much. She can't allow herself to remember her. She can't allow her body to memorize the blonde again because she knows all of this is just temporary.

So slowly she pulls away, instantly missing the closeness between them. The whole thing left her cold and trembling. But she's not going to let the blonde know that because she herself doesn't want to admit it yet. It was all confusing after all, because one minute she had everything in the world wrap around her arms and the next it's gone.

She takes a step back, putting a small distance between them, whilst ignoring the urge inside of her that was screaming to pull the blonde closer.

Brittany's lips pouted like a little kid, seeing Santana's wall back up. The brunette shook her head before her face hardened in this unreadable expression Brittany can't seem to figure out. She was surprise however when Santana flashes her a smile.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were tryna cop a feel blondie," Santana playfully winks sending a wave of desire down the blonde's spine.

"You know it," Brittany shot her her very own smirk causing Santana's dark mocha eyes to darken into this tint that Brittany had never seen. Suddenly a loud repetitive thudding was heard which successfully drew both their attention to the source.

Santana frowns curiously, her hazy eyes focusing on the large blur she sees. It happened so fast that all she sees was a large grey ball of fur bounding down the stairs almost flying towards her. "What the fuck is that?" She almost screams.

It took her a moment to realize what it was. "Fuck. Is that... Is that Lord Tubbington?" She points towards the huge blob of fur of what she makes out to be a cat.

Brittany nods, beaming proudly, "Yeah. He's been missing you lots."

"Wow." Santana said still shell shocked as she bends down examining the cat who purrs in reply. "You became such a fat lard," she snorted while poking the huge belly.

"He's just big boned San."

"Well I don't think I can even carry him anymore," Santana frowns thoughtfully while Lord Tubbington rubbed himself at her legs, making Santana smile at the gesture. She pets him gently while whispering, "I've miss you too buddy."

"Hey..Wanna head to my room?"

Santana looks up surprised before her eyes narrows at the girl.

"Come on'," Brittany grins while extending her hand, "Scared?"

"Careful. I might just think you're offering something blondie," Santana challenges as rises to her feet, squaring her shoulder. She takes the hand in front of her almost flinching when their skin touched.

Brittany squeezes her hands, a tempting smirk appearing, before the blonde turns and pulls a dazed Santana up the stairs.

Santana doesn't know how she managed to follow the blonde up the stairs without stumbling after that. But she knows her hands were getting clammy that she's sure even Brittany could feel it pooling between their palms. It didn't seem to matter to the blonde as Brittany kept her hand securely wrap against hers.

"Dinner probably won't be ready till half an hour from now," the blonde shrugs explaining herself, her taut back towards the dark haired girl. "So we might as well hang in my room. Unless you'd wanna get cozied up with my parents?" Brittany halted, casting a brief glance towards the brunette.

Santana looks at their joined hands before looking back at the girl. "And what? Miss this reunion with you?" She mutters with a hint of sarcasm.

"Thought so," Brittany nodded.

Once inside Brittany's room, Santana immediately retracted her hands. She coughs awkwardly before she takes her time examining her surroundings while she tries to calm her shaky hands. The room was nice. It totally gives her the Brittany vibe. Plus the room smelled a lot like Brittany that she secretly takes a couple of deep breaths. She tells herself she was just exhausted from the trip up the stairs and that a few extra breaths were necessary. What? She's a smoker.

"It's not much," Brittany said jolting Santana from her thoughts. The brunette quickly glances at the blonde, seeing the girl sitting on her bed with her arms leaning back supporting her.

"It's so you blondie," Santana chuckles walking around. "But honestly I didn't know what I was expecting."

"What did you expect?" Brittany curiously follows Santana's every step.

"Dunno. Some weird ass shit or something," the dark haired girl shrugs continuing to walk around. She stops for a half a second when she sees the Cheerio's uniform, hanging in the girl's closet.

"I've got my first practice tomorrow morning," Brittany informs her with a hint of excitement in her voice.

"Yeah I know," Santana said knowing full well of the Cheerio's schedule she had once been a part of.

"Oh. Did Quinn tell you?"

"Pfft. Fabray doesn't need to tell me anything. I'm surprised she didn't tell you anything," Santana replied, finally reaching the side of the room filled with pictures of the blonde and a group of people Santana doesn't recognize taped on the wall. Admittedly, her chest tightens when she sees the pictures. It was like looking at a stranger, given that Brittany is practically a stranger now. But with all the unfamiliar faces and all the unfamiliar sceneries, Santana feels something stirs in the pit of her stomach. It was unsettling looking at the life Brittany had without her because once upon a time the blonde's room was filled with pictures of them together. Looking at it now, she sees pictures of the blonde looking so happy with other people as if leaving her didn't bother her at all. Suddenly she felt like Brittany was so unreachable when a few minutes ago the blonde was the closest thing she's ever held. Not standing to look any second longer she looks away, catching the curious blonde's blue eyes. "Anyways, I can't say I miss having to wear it."

"What do you mean?"

Santana sees the blonde frowning, her head tilted in confusion that the brunette was tempted to soothe the frown away with her fingers. She felt compelled to take a step closer towards Brittany with her new found courage that were slowly breaking down her her inhibitions. "Well let's just say as sinfully pleasing that uniform is, after awhile you'll start missing wearing whatever the fuck you want."

"Wait... You were in the Cheerios?" Brittany eyes her inquisitively.

Santana smirked at the set of eyes that was slowly glistening like pairs of gem. Before she knows it her feet inevitably took her right in front of the blonde. Their knees were softly touching that she feels a little electricity running through her. The spot where they touch were hot and burning.

"You catch on pretty quick."

She could see Brittany's eyes gleaming even more from the realization of her reply. Not only that, Santana could tell that the taller girl's breathing had gone deeper and deeper from the minimal distance between them. This only urged Santana even more. She leans forward and place her hands on the each side of the blonde, trapping her in place. Brittany's face was inches from her that from this distance, she could clearly see Brittany's features.

Santana watches each flutter of the blonde's eyelashes as she blinks, revealing her clear blue eyes that were slowly darkening into this tint Santana thinks would be her new favourite colour. The blonde girl's cheeks were slightly flushed that even the tips of her ears were pink. Santana takes a moment to appreciate the scene in front of her.

"Surprising huh?" She husked. Her voice comes out more sultry than she intended.

Brittany digs her fingers into the bed sheet, this rouses something inside Santana. "I-I.," the blonde stutters causing Santana to smirk, a viscous gleam playing in her dark brown eyes as it slowly travels downward to the girls pink lips, the girl's tempting neck, then girl's chest before her eyes meets those lustful blue again.

Santana's smirk grew even more, feeling amused and delighted at the effect she has on the girl because all along she taught it was only her who has this sort of reaction every time they're close.

Thus, she pushed her limits as she tested the forbidden boundary that was rapidly enticing her. Santana brings her hands, purposely and tortuously slow, up her chest to where the v neck line of her dress that slips low showcasing her cleavage, slipping her finger and digging through her dress, fiddling around her bra, until finally she touched the cold hard metal she was looking for. The whole time Santana's attention were at the blue eyes that were trailing her every movement causing the brunette to wet her lips from the sudden dryness. The darkened sapphire's gaze fixated on her chest where her fingers were. She feels her chest burning from where Brittany was staring. All the while, her throat constricts and her heart started trumpeting like heavy drum beats.

"Close your eyes," Santana managed to whisper, feeling the heat between them ignite, sending fires of desire throughout her body the more Brittany looks at her.

The taller girl frowned but closed her eyes none the less, causing the burning sensation between them to lessen but the remnant of Brittany's captivating eyes still seem to haunt her, leaving a trail of warmness inside of her.

Santana smiles at this. All the while she freely examines the girl, taking her time to study her closely. With no inhibitions, she counts the unnoticeable freckles that littered around the blonde's nose, mapping it like stars in the constellation.

"San?" Brittany soft voice questions interrupting Santana from her gaze.

"Keep your eyes close," the brunette breathes. She unraveled the material she had clutched against her fingers, revealing a long silver chain with a small duck pendant attached to it.

She gently placed it around the girl. Her arms wrapped around the pale neck, as she securely place the necklace.

Brittany instantly opens her eyes, curious at the extra weight around her neck. She looks down at the necklace before her eyes quickly settles to the brunette, who had a small smile etch on her face. The blonde almost forgets to question the girl seeing a gentle expression playing on Santana's face. She takes a mental picture of that rare image which she's sure would bring upon a smile even on her saddest days.

"What's this?"

"Uhhh…" Santana frowns, "I thought its kinda obvious."

"I know silly. But what's this for?" The blonde questions. Her steel blue eyes penetrating the brunette that before Santana can even force herself to answer, she retracted, taking a step back giving her a little room to think clearly. She brings herself near the blonde's desk and she leans her hips at the edge while shrugging her shoulder, "Call it a welcome gift or whatever."

Then Brittany does this thing again. This thing that makes Santana, clears her throat and looks away, as her heart pounds away in her chest. The taller girl is looking at her with this look. This look that Santana should have been use to because she had seen it countless of times before. But she's not even close to getting use to it and she doesn't think she will ever be. Because after all, how is she suppose to look back at someone who looks at her like she placed the stars in the skies when in reality she's just standing there feeling nothing but an old empty barren?

"You didn't have to do that San," Brittany bites her lips feeling waves of happiness bubbling inside of her.

"Look. If you don't want it blondie, you can give it back," Santana narrows her mocha tinted eyes while extending her hand.

"No way. I'm keeping it."

"Good," Santana nods. "Cause there's no refund or exchange for that."

"Thanks," Brittany smiles warmly at Santana causing the dark haired girl to look away again. "Best welcome gift ever."

"Yeah yeah whatever."

There was a moment of awkward silence with only the sounds of their breathing filling up the room. Brittany didn't mind it. It gave her a chance to think clearly especially after that weird exchanged with Santana who practically straddled her. The whole thing made her mind go hazy and left her heart in such a disarray. She thanked god when Santana had asked her to close her eyes because she wasn't sure she could handle the whole thing anymore. As much as she likes looking at Santana, it was getting too much. She felt like she was trespassing on this forbidden road she never even knew existed.

It was confusing for Brittany. She can't figure out the girl. Or maybe its herself she can't seem to figure out. Because the whole time after Santana had snapped at her in class, she dreaded this whole dinner. She practically locked herself in her room being upset and irritated at the girl. But as soon as she hears the doorbell ringing, her heart rang along with it. She hastily ties her hair and changed into the first shirt she sees. She doesn't even look in the mirror as it would prolong the time it would take to see the brunette. All the negative emotions from earlier leaves her completely, replaced with delight, as soon as her eyes sees Santana. The dark haired girl hasn't noticed her yet and she kinda likes it. That way she can freely look at the girl without Santana's alluring eyes distracting her. And damn did her childhood friend look great. Just when she thought Santana couldn't look any better the girl manages to prove her wrong, time and time again. She's once more grateful that Santana has yet to notice her because it took a while for her to compose herself. And when she finally did, she finds that just looking at Santana isn't enough for her anymore because as the seconds go, the more she wanted to catch those dark chestnut eyes and solve whatever mysteries it holds.

Kinda like right now.

Santana's eyes were everywhere but hers. She wanted nothing more than to look at it, so when her breathing evened out, she tilted her head and examined the girl. "You know I can ever stay mad at you."

"I didn't think it's even in your nature blondie."

"And San, you're terrible at saying sorry."

This caught Santana attention which made her look at the blonde with her left eyebrow raised. As soon as their eyes locked, Santana feels a lump in her throat and she coughs awkwardly, ignoring the girl's statement.

"You know, this place isn't half that bad. I always thought old Mrs. Johnson had all dem' creepy jollies all up in here. I mean have you seen her? She looks like she owns some voodoo doll collections," she says pointing around the room.

Brittany looks around. "I didn't get a chance to meet her. But it'd be awesome to meet her and see her voodoo doll collections."

Santana scrunches her face, "You're so damn odd you know that?"

Brittany bites the side of her cheeks thoughtfully as she fiddles with the duck pendant. Warmness fills her once more that she's sure won't go away for awhile. "It's not like you make it any easier."

"Now that'd be too boring."

"Why did you quit anyways?"

"What?"

"The Cheerios. Why did you quit?"

Santana smirks, "Guess you haven't done your research blondie. I'm surprise."

The blonde remained silent as she continued to look at Santana, examining her once more that Santana feels like Brittany can read whatever the hell she was thinking. It was fucking getting on her nerves. Ugh.

"You kept your promise," Brittany stated breaking their silence.

Santana tenses for a second. Her stomach twisting as she taps her fingers meticulously at the desk trying to tune out the impending quickening of her heart. "You should stop holding on to those petty promises. Besides why the fuck would you even remember that?" Santana muttered rolling her eyes in the process. "Thought your head was filled with 'dem unicorn and shit."

"It's not something I'd easily forget," Brittany admitted causing Santana's throat to thicken even more. Though the bright blue eyes was unnerving the brunette, she kept her gaze focus and steady at the blonde.

"You're someone who's hard to forget."

Sometimes the blonde pisses Santana off so much that it annoys her to no end. But then there are times when the blonde would say something like this and it makes Santana's heart flutter in ways like no other. "It was probably better if you did," she said after a moment, her tone cold and bitter.

But despite that, Brittany just smiles at her, the same way she always does as if her words had no effect on her at all. This only annoyed Santana even more.

"Not possible San."

For a second the brunette's mind goes cloudy and she feels an unwanted somersault in her belly. Ugh. Sometimes she wishes Brittany would stop being so Brittany because maybe then it would give her time to deal and make sense on whatever the heck she was feeling.

---

Santana can't remember what happened much during dinner. All she remembers were Brittany's words that kept ringing in her ears. But it must have gone well because next thing she knows is that Brittany was walking her back to her house and their both standing awkwardly at her front door.

"Thanks for coming over San."

"Did I have a choice?" She mutters as she tries her hard to tear her gaze away but every time she does so it would soon fleet back to where Brittany was.

"You always do."

"Uh yeah," She digs through her chest once more, this time grabbing her keys. She doesn't fail to notice another gleam playing in Brittany's eyes. Or it could have been her imagination. After all, they were both standing in the dark with only the street lights aiding their vision. "Well I better go."

"Do you stuff everything in there?"

Even in the limited light, Santana could see Brittany's confuse face, which was charming in its own way that Santana couldn't help but tease the girl.

"It's up to you to find out."

Okay.

She lied.

Everything during dinner and after that moment became a blur to Santana.

But she remembers Brittany had kissed her cheeks before waving her goodbye. She only remembers it because as soon as she snaps out of her trance, she realized she had been standing alone in the dark with the blonde long gone, gawking at her front door with her hands cradling her right cheeks where Brittany had just kissed her. She remembers this part well because, well, this is the part that sets her into this massive relapse that made her avoid the blonde for days.

Because right after she managed to open her front doors, fumbling with the keys like a maniac, she hurriedly went to the bathroom as she stumbles along the way. And when she gets there, she barely recognizes herself as her face was tinted with this hue she didn't think was even possible with her skin tone. She thank god that it was dark enough that the darkness would have concealed it and that Brittany couldn't have possibly seen it. But its not only that, Santana's heart hasn't stop racing, sure it was already beating crazily but she figured it would have already stop by now. It was as if Brittany's lips had turned a faucet within her that kept every part of her body, especially the side of her cheeks, tingling. Every ounce of her being felt like it had been revived from its deep deep slumber.

And it was scary to feel it because she had never felt that way. It scared her to think that with just one small physical gesture she's reduce into this mess and she's not quite sure how to overcome it.

So, she tries to wash it off hoping that the sensation it brings would be wash along with it. It doesn't and Santana must have washed her face a thousand times that she's sure she peeled herself a new skin but despite that the tingling warmness she feels in there didn't leave.

It kept her up the whole night that when the morning light had come, Santana had decided to just head to school because maybe then it could distract her from thinking about the blonde.

But with her awesome luck, she caught a glimpse of the blonde the first thing in the morning that sends a rush of warmness through her cheeks once more. Realizing that Brittany was the source of the problem, Santana tried to keep her distance. Any sign of blonde would send her to another path. This happened a number of times that by lunch time Santana was getting exhausted from her dodging the blonde and her lack of sleep wast helping her either.

But she was determined.

So determined that she even talked to Bates informing him that she's not attending his class in favour of a self study. Bates frowned at her at first, his monobrow looking more pronounced than ever, which was begging to be poke fun of but her bald headed teacher agreed to her request none the less, and Santana decided she'll hold her tongue for once. Bates probably agreed because Santana is usually too rowdy when she attends class that he can never go through his lecture properly without an unwelcome interruption. So her absence is probably a miracle sent. And also, despite her lack of attendance, Santana is surprisingly top in class. What? She has beauty and brains. She got the whole damn package.

Sure, after her whole meltdown where she went on this path of good girl gone bad with her constant alcohols and parties, one would think her grades are fuck up. After all, she skips her classes so much that her attending a class would lead to a front page news at the school newspaper, The Muckraker. Or if she does manage to attend class its either she's too drunk or she just doesn't give a shit. And that's what usually leads her into trouble. Not the skipping part but her attending and causing a ruckus.

There's actually a few teachers that breathes a little easier when she's not around that they just allow her to go about her day. That's why her track record with skipping isn't all that bad because at her rate she would have been expelled a long long time ago.

So in all alcohols, late night parties and the ladies are basically what sums up Santana's life. At least that's what people would say when they describe her. She's the town's fuck up, second to this guy who stripped naked and started running up and down the street. But Santana in reality is not stupid, sure she's all what people whispers about but even so she didn't allow her grades to slip up because she knows that good grades is her only ticket out of this fucking hell hole. She can't fuck the only thing she think could get her out of this cow town and start a new life at a new city, preferably with a lesbian friendly community.

So when Bates agreed and allowed her so called "self study", it actually wasn't much of a surprise. What surprised her though was that Bates allowed her in one condition: she has to tutor someone.

The prospect of just teaching some lame ass loser almost made her revoke her request until she remembers why she even asked for it. Fuck it. She agreed thinking that tutoring some pimpled face kid wouldn't be half as bad as being with the blonde. Plus, whoever she's going to tutor would probably be too scared of her that he or she will rather fail the class than be with her. So its a win win she guesses.

Not that she's feeling like winning right now because Santana feels like she's seconds to ripping a new hell hole. She didn't realize was how avoiding the blonde would be too damn difficult. Because by some random fate, for whatever reason, she keeps seeing the blonde everywhere which sets her into this fleeing craze where she pushes the next person in her path as she hides from the girl. Given that Brittany was her neighbour, she was bound to cross path with the blonde but she didn't expect she'll see her that much at school, especially after she went that far as to skip her History class with Bates.

When Friday rolled around, Santana had never been thankful. She can't fucking wait for the weekend and tonight also happens to be the first party of the school year, which usually tends to be big. Thank god Puckerman is hosting it cause at least she knows there'd be some descent booze in there.

Ugh. She really can't wait to get her drinks on. The past few days had kept her so wind up that she's in dire need to loosen up or else she might just blow up soon. Thoughts of the warmth of the blonde's lips and the way it felt against her cheeks kept her up at nights and frustrated by the day.

She shakes her head, ridding herself of the thoughts that keeps plaguing her. She checks her phone for any new messages. She had texted Riley earlier to meet her up at her house so they could head there together. The girl should be here soon.

Riley is someone that rivals Santana's reputation. She goes to an all girl school across town which has a more accepting environment than Mckinley. So she's not as well known as Santana whose coming out became so public that the whole state of Ohio practically knows her. No. Riley had no extravagant coming out "party" as her but that doesn't mean the girl isn't any less of a ladies chaser as her. No Riley loves dem girls.

The girl is actually very much like Santana, in which she was a heavy drinker, and she parties like crazy too which is what made them instantly connect with each other. Plus, the girl isn't bad in bed. She's hot as fuck and good with her fingers. On top of it, Riley's not needy for commitment that most times Santana ends up hooking up with her.

They were practically two peas in one pod except Riley is a lot less of a bitch than Santana. The girl is more of the mischievous type and she's a whole lot friendlier too. Probably because she goes to an all girl's school where there's less testosterone surrounding her. But on situations where Santana would have gone all Lima heights, Riley would just walk away. But the next day, those same people ends up apologizing to them promising never to bother them again, so she doesn't know what Riley did but she thinks its a whole lot scarier than her ways. But some may say both their methods are equally scary.

"You ready?" Santana diverges her attention away from the mirror towards the door, where a tall red haired girl was standing.

She smiles, finally feeling a little less tense. Her eyes meticulously scans the girl. Long crimson hair was curled framing the girl's sculpted face, slender nose, her green eyes and red lips. "You clean up well."

Riley chuckles, "Well one of us had to look good."

Santana rolls her eyes, before she checks herself in the mirror for the nth time.

"Is this some lesbian party that you haven't told me about?"

"What?" The latina scrunches her face in confusion as she applies her red lipstick.

"You're wearing that lipstick which could only mean you're looking for a little action tonight." Riley points out before her green eyes examines Santana from head to toe. "And from what I can see I don't see how it'd be a problem."

Santana stops fixing her lips and looks at the amuse girl who was now leaning by the side of her door with her arms cross. "Are you offering?"

"Depends. You have to get me a drink first."

"Let's hurry and get our drinks on then."

By the time they reach the Puckerman's household the party was in full swing. McKinley must have won the game because it was only 8'o clock and everyone is practically drunk. The music was blasting so loud that she feels each beats resonating through her chest. She didn't fail to notice the house smelt like vomit and sweat. If it wasn't for the free booze she would have long turned around.

They passed the living room where a make shift dance floor was created. There must be something going on in there as people were flocking and crowding like flies. Santana couldn't be bothered to look as she needed to get some alcohol in her system as soon as possible for her to digests the stinky ass smell that was slowly irritating her nose. With Riley beside her, they both headed straight to the kitchen where she knows the bottles of alcohols would be.

"Puck sure knows how to throw a good party. It looks like the party had already started."

"That's about the only thing he's good at," Santana snorted while mixing a drink. She then passes it to Riley who willingly accepts it without question.

"Thanks," Riley says sipping her concoction. "Well I'm gonna go around and see if anyone is up for some exploring," she winks. "You'll be okay?"

"Yeah yeah. Just give me the signal if you need an out," Santana said dismissively waving her hands at the red haired girl before she busies herself mixing her own drink.

"Got it."

With that Santana gulps her drinks before shooting another one. She almost cried in relief when a familiar burning entered her system. It was about four drinks later that Santana started feeling the effect of the alcohol that she decided she should probably venture out as well and find some willing girl who's up for a night of adventure.

She almost snorted at that because that's the thing with parties. Adrenaline and the booze rushes through your system that "straight" girls who at day when they're sober expels harsh comments about Santana, becomes willing to explore this whole other world of the unknown. And in that boozed up situation, black and white dulls out and suddenly consequences doesn't seem to matter because exploring this forbidden thing becomes too enticing to them. She knows this because she was like that too except the feeling of curiosity didn't leave her even after the night had ended and alcohol had long been flushed out of her system. In fact, she found out she wanted it more and more. And what she thought was just a phase, a feeling she felt ever since she first kissed a girl on a spin the bottle game and discovered how sweet and soft girls could be, became a confirmation of what she was slowly fearing.

Ugh. She doesn't need a trip to memory lane again. Taking a huge gulp of her drink she heads to the living room, where a crowd was still gathered. Curious she worms her way, pushing a few sweaty bodies out of her away until she finds the source of the commotion.

Fuck.

Her heart jumps starts and she fucking can't breathe.

Tall sweaty blonde was swaying in spot in perfect harmony with the music. She had her hair down, long blonde moving freely as she sways her hips dangerously. Her eyes which holds the brightest blue Santana had the pleasure of seeing were closed off to the world. There was a hint of smile playing on the girl's face, soft and contented, that Santana feels her stomach folding inside out. The blonde had her long legs exposed, smooth and pale, and her skin tight dress displaying her curvy body was enough to send Santana fighting to control the urge to press her body against Brittany.

She feels a little dizzy.

Maybe it's because Santana hasn't seen fully seen the blonde in days that's making her blood rapidly rush straight through her head. Or maybe it was because she feels a little proud and astonish at how even more talented Brittany had become. Or maybe it was simply just the alcohol.

Either way she gulps thickly due to her throat going dry and her eyes darkened as it wonders through the girl's long glistening legs, slender body then her sparkling face. Santana's cheeks immediately warms when her eyes sees the pink lips that were shining even in the cheap living room light that Puck had probably installed. She doesn't need a mirror to know her face had grown in colour.

It wasn't till the jock who bumps into her causing Santana to spill her drink all over her shirt that she realizes she had been ogling for quite sometime. She was about to have that guys head off but she remembers that the blonde was just dancing a few feet away from her. So Santana immediately bolted out of that room before her eyes could even snatch another glance.

Fucking damn it.

She should have known blondie would be around. She's a a fucking Cheerios for god sakes, so that's an automatic invitation right there. Plus, if it weren't for that, the blonde had taken the whole town into her liking as people were constantly talking about how awesome the blonde was. It was annoying to hear that it got to the point that Santana would rather have people talk about her.

Fuck, she mentally screams again. This really shouldn't have surprised her. Ugh. Puck probably had mentioned it to her when he invited her for the party but as usual, she blocks out most of the things he says. And that day, she specifically remembers how Punk's stench had drove her so mad that she forced the boy to go home and take a shower before she passes out from the smell.

Riley.

She fucking needs Riley. Maybe that girl can block out the unwanted sensation she's feeling. She needs a major distraction and she hopes that red haired girl can give it to her.

"Woah drunk already mama cita?"

"Not now Puckerman."

Puck held up his hands defensively, wondering what crawled up Santana's ass. The brunette is usually a lot more tolerable with alcohol in her system. He would have made an offhanded joke, which he's sure would earn him a slap, but once she sees the dark wild eyes, he immediately thought better. He's really not up for dying tonight. "If you're looking for Riley she's by the porch."

Santana nods before heading to the the said place. It took her a few seconds before she spots Riley who is surrounded by two hockey jocks. She rolls her eyes, pulling the tall red haired girl not even bothering to apologize to the two guys for interrupting what she's sure were their hopeless attempt of a lame ass pick up line to get Riley in bed. Ugh. What don't those guys get? Lesbians and dicks just don't mix.

"Thank god. I thought you bailed on me."

"And what? Leave them helpless with you?"

Riley giggles, clearly a bit drunk. Santana doesn't know how much the girl had but clearly a lot. "Yeah well, they were totally messing up my game. I couldn't even approach any girl."

Santana snorts at this. "What game?"

"The game that got you in bed."

"I didn't see you complaining." Santana exclaimed at the girl who was laughing like a hyena. God. Remind her again why she's even talking to this girl. "Ugh. I need to get more drinks. Clearly you had all the fun in that department."

"Too much testosterone does that to me."

Santana opted to ignore Riley's comment and continues to pull the girl with her towards the kitchen, glaring at everyone obstructing her path, which was good because it got her to the place she wanted to go a whole lot faster. But once she's by the kitchen's entryway, her body halted once she sees who's inside.

It was Brittany again. But this time around, there were no group of guys surrounding her. It was just her and a couple of the other Cheerios. She even spots Fabray in there, not that it would even matter cause her eyes were basically zeroed in on Brittany who was currently flashing this radiant smile at some cheer bimbo.

Ugh fucking god. Can't the blonde just leave her? Why is she everywhere she goes? All she wanted was a fun night out full of alcohol and preferably Brittany free but as the night goes it's proving to be the complete opposite.

Fucking hell.

She really wants her drinks on. Stats.

So Santana pulls Riley off to the side as she takes another quick glance inside the kitten spotting Brittany almost immediately.

"Riley do me a favour and grab me some drinks in the kitchen," Santana whispers in fear the blonde might hear her even though it was impossible from the loud music.

Riley frowns at her questioningly. "It's right over there," the girl pointed. "I can't believe you're asking a drunk girl."

"Ugh. I know but I can't go in there," she whispers loudly if that was even possible. Her eyes fleets back inside the kitchen and just like all the other times, amidst all the people, Santana spots the blonde almost instantly. It was crazy that even just a glimpse of Brittany, would send her heart racing

Riley follows her eyes which ultimately landed on Brittany. A smirk appears in her face. Santana could practically tell that look and she knows very well how "playful" Riley could be.

"Woah who's she? How come I've never seen her?" Riley giggles, her green eyes gleaming mischievously at Brittany.

"Off limits," Santana groaned in irritation. She just really wants a drink and Brittany and now even Riley is making it difficult for her. "Now focus Riley," she snaps her fingers batting her lashes in the process. "Drink for me?"

Riley looks at her for a minute, which made Santana question if the girl is really drunk. But before she could ask, Riley had long walk pass her and was now in the kitchen.

Santana felt a small satisfied grin lingering in her face.

She stands off to the side, occasionally peeping in. She tells herself it was to make sure Riley is indeed getting her drinks but even so, she finds her eyes traveling towards Brittany. As usual, she feels this lingering jolts in her heart that she wonders if its possible to look at the blonde without feeling like she just jumped off a cliff. Ugh. She swears she never wanted to be so drunk that she could wash away everything she's feeling.

But despite that Santana can't help but cast another look inside the kitchen, she groans when she sees Riley talking to Brittany.

Fuck.

She looks at the two laughing like they've known each other for ages and Santana never wished she could read people's lips or have some super hearing powers so she could hear what those two were talking about.

It wasn't long before Riley comes back with two cups of drink in hand. She could see Brittany's eyes following Riley and soon, the blonde was looking at them. A smile grows on Brittany, but before it could fully reach the girl's cheeks, Santana immediately draws her attention away and focus on the red haired girl looking amused at her. "Okay I can totally see you creepin' all the way from there."

Like always Santana has a knack of ignoring statements or questions she doesn't think needs to be acknowledged. So instead she take one cup from Riley, gulps the whole thing down, and then grabs the other cup. "Let's dance."

Riley follows her, use to Santana's abrupt behaviour. Once they were at the make shift dance floor, their bodies collided in this familiar rhythm that they had long mastered. Legs between legs. Thighs siding past one another creating a small heat of friction between them and with all the bodies around, Santana feels her body warming up even more.

Riley's warm hands were skating across Santana's back, exploring and trailing, making the dark haired girl tensed up from lust.

But Santana's no stranger to this. She smirks when her legs grind up to a spot she knows were of Riley's weakness making the red haired girl gasp.

"Not playing fair," Riley husked against her ears. For some reason Santana remembers the way Brittany had almost done the same and how she was left feeling like all her body had come to life. Fuck. She has got to stop thinking of blondie right now.

"Who says I'm playing?"

Riley pulls her head slightly back to get a good look at Santana. Their bodies continued to sway as one as the red haired girl slides her arms at Santana's sides, teasingly grazing the side of the brunette's boobs. Riley smirks when she sees the reaction she wanted. Darks eyes flaring at her. "You're not the only one who knows how this works."

Santana presses her body even closer, her eyes watching the way the green flickers, a tell tale sign that the girl is as turned on as her. They were both playing a dangerous game and at any moment one of them is bound to snap.

And Santana would have, especially with how wind up she's been feeling for the past few days, but thoughts of Brittany floods her mind again that Santana momentarily lost the fire inside of her. Consequently, she missed the way the green eyes had traveled to something behind her before meeting her own because by the time she was able to flush Brittany off her mind, she sees the all too familiar smirk playing on Riley's face. But it was gone too quick as the red haired girl bends her head once more, mouth close to her ears, "Do you think she'll be jealous?"

Before she could question the girl, Riley's lips captured hers. And for a split second, Santana completely forgets about a certain blonde. She took that moment as a relief from this torment she feels building up inside her body every time she thinks of Brittany. So she pulls Riley in even more, lips pressing hard against hers, mouth opening, as desperately finds that fleeting moment again.

"Fuck," Riley breathes as soon as their lips depart. They were both breathing rapidly.

"Maybe later," Santana winks before detaching herself from the girl. "I need a drink."

"Hmm..I'll stay here."

Santana nods and heads to the kitchen needing a break from everything, she needs to momentarily clear her head or more so cloud her head by drinking because those unwanted thoughts of Brittany were getting out of control.

Once she reaches the kitchen, she spots Brittany. But instead of leaving, Santana continued to walk towards the tables filled with alcohols. Brittany spots hers, and like Santana predicted the girl smiles at her.

"You've finally decided to stop avoiding me?"

She momentarily halts her movement. Her eyes looking at the blue, which for a moment held a look of sadness. She hates that look. "I wasn't avoiding you," Santana chided looking through the remaining drinks.

"Oh really? Then why did you turn around when you saw me in the hallway the other day?"

"I had to go to the bathroom," Santana shrugs.

"How about the time when I pass by your locker?"

"I suddenly remembered I had to do something."

"You're not in class?"

"Self study."

Brittany raised her eyes disbelievingly, "and today?"

"Look blondie," Santana said placing the bottle that she was examining back down. " I ain't avoiding you."

"Uh-huh."

"I wasn't."

"Sure."

"Ugh. Why the fuck does it even matter?"

Brittany was silent for a moment, biting her lips which causes Santana's eyes to involuntarily flick down to those pink lips. She catches herself quickly, forcibly looking up and soon she finds herself lost in the captivating bright blue eyes. For a few good seconds, Santana forgets what she even came down there for.

"It's just," Brittany whispers looking away, making the dark haired girl instantly seek those blue. "I just thought I did something that kinda made you angry with me or something. So I wanted to apologize."

She feels her chest tighten and her breathing slowly became a problem. She knows nothing good is going to come out of this yet she can't stop her herself. "I wasn't mad at you okay? So stop apologizing."

"Then what was it San? I don't understand."

"Its just is blondie," Santana muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was getting frustrated and the each moment she spends with the blonde, her breathing gets taken away.

"Fine you said you weren't ignoring me?"

"Like I said I wasn't," Santana denies intent in proving the blonde wrong.

"Then let me sleep over."

"Fine," Santana agrees before she realized what she had just said. Her eyes grew wide and she almost wanted to slap herself. "Fuck. You totally just outwitted me."

"Great." Brittany smiles at her, momentarily distracting Santana. She wonders if that was the reason why her heart was pounding.

"Great," Santana muttered to herself. After that Brittany had said something but she couldn't quite hear her response, her mind went all blank.

It wasn't long till they had to leave and Santana never wanted to runway so bad and leave the blonde there. But every time she thinks of it, a sharp pang would linger in her heart, and the pain was too great for her to say and do anything.

So she grabs Riley first then to Brittany, who had a little too few drinks after their talk. Great. She barely had any drink. Somehow she can't even manage to take a sip as she feels like she was about to hurl. Ugh. Not only that, she now has to take care of these two drunkies. Santana was getting annoyed. She's not getting any action as she intended and whats worse Brittany, the girl she had been steering clear from, is staying over at her house. So overall, her night definitely did not turn out the way she wanted.

By the time they had reached her house, which took longer than she wanted as the two were too rowdy that Santana had to stop the car a number of times, she was beyond exhausted. She didn't even put a fight when Riley had crash on her couch. She made sure she left a glass of water and an aspirin besides the girl. What? She's a bitch but not that big of a bitch.

Brittany on the other hand was a problem. Who knew that the blonde would start stripping once she's drunk?

Like fucking hell.

Santana was horny as fuck to begin with and here's the blonde stripping away her dress right in front of her, exposing lots and lots of her glistening skin, flat stomach, ample chest, long legs, that Santana didn't know where to look. She averted her eyes but the bra and underwear clad Brittany would pull her closer and Santana would try to get the blonde to settle down and maybe cover up because Santana's heart was just about ready to blow out of her ribcage. She doesn't think she can handle anymore of that.

But Brittany was frustrating as ever.

It took an hour before she managed to get Brittany to wear one of her old cheer shirt, getting the shorts were just impossible. She kinda gave up then because sleep was just calling her. Spotting the blonde's phone, she shoots a quick text to Brittany's mom not wanting them to worry. They were probably long sleeping but at least they'd see it in the morning. She was about to shut the blonde's phone but an idea came over, and she quickly fumbled through it before putting the girl's phone back. By the time she had done this, Brittany had long passed out in her bed and Santana was too lazy to push the blonde off her bed. So with her sleep induced state, eyes almost closing, she strips from her dress, which was stinky from the spilled drink earlier, and she heads to bed with a half naked blonde sleeping beside her. Her body tenses under the cover when she feels Brittany's soft body pulling her in. She doesn't remember much after that, she was too tired and too sleepy that she doesn't even bother moving around at all but she does remember thinking before sleep had fully consumed her, that maybe her night didn't turn out as bad as she thought after all.

---

NOTE: Hey guys. Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I actually had laser eye surgery then some complications happened so I had to wait for my eyes to heal before they could do a different procedure. But anyways, here's the next chapter! I made sure there would be lots of Brittana actions to make up for the super slow update. I made it super long too. : ) Probably the longest chapter I've wrote. I was suppose to split it into two chapters but I decided to just make it into one big one. I hope you guys like it. Again, thank you so so much for the sweetest reviews, the favs and the follows. It really makes my day. :D So thank you again for taking your time reading this and sorry for all the mistakes.

PS. The whole Naya wedding was such a shocker huh? It totally surprised me.