Eight seconds.

It took eight seconds for Brittany to realize where she was. The first second, she remembers when she woke up that morning was a ringing pain in her head. This continued well within the next second. By the third second, her head was full out throbbing that she clasps her temple within her fingers. Fourth second, she opens her eyes and realized she was submerged into darkness. Everything around her was spinning that she barely makes out the room she was in. She would have been scared if it weren't for a certain scent that was so familiar and so soothing that it sends calmness within her chest. Fifth second, she still feels dizzy and her throat feels so parch, she aches for some water. By the sixth second, she starts to look around, confused at the surrounding in front of her and it took her another two seconds for her eyes to fully adjust and for her to realized where she was and most importantly who she's with -Santana. And in that very last eight second, she feels the deepest part of her heart quenching, tugging deeply, into something she's slowly getting accustomed to.

Like always, every time she's with Santana, she starts to think of thinks she never even considered. Santana is hard to understand but her feelings are even harder to understand. Wasn't she suppose to be irritated at the girl? How come she thinks about her all the time? It was scary because whatever "it" is, it was definitely something much bigger than she could handle. And she knows that no matter how much she readies herself for it, it would never be enough.

So she settles for just watching her. She can't stop watching her. And for a moment, she's thankful that she could look at Santana without having to worry that a set of warm brown eyes would catch her. Because in that moment, she's completely captivated. Santana's dark hair that normally cascades down her shoulder into a perfect wave were now scattered across the pillow but somehow it still looks perfectly sculpted around her face. Her makeup around her eyes were even smudged, and she could see clear exhaustion written on the latina's face but despite all that, Brittany still thinks she's beautiful. And it frustrates Brittany because Santana could be doing nothing, kinda like what she's doing right now, sleeping soundly in bed unaware of the world around her and she could still make Brittany's heart beat so fast.

Its so cunning.

Brittany can't help but think that this moment was definitely worth getting caught. Because she wants to hold on to the thought that somewhere in the future, in a distant dream made by her wishful thinking, she could look at Santana again without having to worry that the girl would be looking back at her -seeing her.

It happened before she could even catch it. It was probably the after effects of the many drinks she had last night that gave her the instantaneous courage she needed or maybe it was simply her lack of sleep that dispelled her weariness but Brittany found herself yearning to be close to the girl. She cradles Santana's cheek with a gentle touch that surprises even herself. Her heart was hammering so loudly in her chest she's sure it would wake Santana anytime soon. But when it didn't, she raised her trembling fingers, tracing an invisible line between Santana's jaw and cheeks. It always surprises her how soft Santana's skin is even though that bit had never changed.

She feels like she's doing something forbidden. Like she's crossing a line that was slowly becoming obscure.

This is okay right?

This is allowed right? Because why else would her heart be beating so fast it feels like it's going to burst into pieces.

She sighs feeling an oncoming headache. Ever since that day, when the girl unmistakably came back to her life, Santana seems to have tapped into her head making Brittany constantly think about her. Which is unbelievable enough as she already thinks of her a lot. She doesn't know why her mind goes to that place where everything Santana is stored.

But it does.

It's like an overplayed music that keeps playing in her head except this time she doesn't get sick of it. She would replay the time they had together over and over again with every single details burning through her mind until her thoughts finally gets exhausted and she would slump to sleep.

In her dreams, she barely finds any solace as she dreams of meadows and star filled skies, all with her and Santana standing next to each other, hand in hand, with the brunette having the same soft expression Brittany always loves.

She doesn't get it because she likes -loves- when her dreams consist of the brunette. Especially back in LA, where she feared that she'll forget Santana. Santana, the girl who's most precious in her heart, would slowly be erased and be nothing but a blurred memory she can barely remember. That thought always scares her. Because she didn't want to wake up one day and have to think really hard about what Santana looks like when it should be something instantaneous like a reflex. So dreams that consisted of the brunette was always something she treasured and kept closely safe in her heart so she'd never forget her childhood friend. So night by night, she tries to recall the many times she had spent with the girl, in hopes that those memories would slowly trickle down in her dreams.

And when those nights she dreams of her, she feels nothing but a sense of happiness filling her to her very core. But not a second after, as soon as she wakes up, those feelings that had grown so delicately warm would burst into reality, leaving her with this hollow feeling of missing Santana. But no matter how the next few seconds come about when the reality sets in, she still goes to bed every night, two fingers cross, wishing -hoping- that tonight will be her lucky night and she can meet her childhood friend even if it was just in a dream.

But how come now that she's here, when Santana is no longer lingering in her dreams, when the girl is so close to her, just a breath away that she could easily close the distance between them that she feels that Santana's farther to her than she ever felt before?

Truth was Brittany was afraid. So so afraid. Because when she thinks she finally took a little step closer to the girl she realizes it only brought her farther back.

Suppose it was her fault, but it was just that, under the bare light with only the streetlight from across the street illuminating her view, she saw something that made her lean her head forward and kiss the girl on her cheeks. Maybe it was because it was late at night, and she was tired and Santana was looking at her with those puzzling eyes that twinkle more than the stars. Or maybe it was because in that single, flashing moment when Santana smiled sweetly at her, unbeknownst to the dark haired girl, Brittany felt her heart skip a beat.

Whatever it was, she kissed the girl on the cheeks, lingering for a few moments taking in the warmth she feels from the closeness between them. She knew her face was flushed before she even fully retracted back. Her mind was reeling, her emotions heighten, she can't breathe. She wanted- needed- to get away. So she mumbled a quick goodbye and left Santana by her doorstep. Her breathing getting easier and easier the farther she was from the girl.

It was scary to be honest because not once had she encountered an emotion that strong that she feels a swarm of warmness vibrating across her heart, and her lips burning like Santana herself had started a flame inside of her.

A part of her thinks it was a mistake but if she was given a chance to go back in time, given the consequences, she'll still kiss Santana.

Again and again.

Maybe she's a fool for thinking -wanting- that. But she never thought she'd find heaven in something she mindlessly used to do countless of times before.

So that night when her lips felt the warmest, she tried to figure out what she's feeling only to come up even more confused than before. It was driving her nuts because the more she tries to figure it out, the more she starts to feel so unsure of herself and the more her feelings gets complicated.

Brittany takes a deep breathe from the increasingly thinning air she feels surrounding her. She knows she has to stop making sense of this or else she'll be stuck into this endless days of sorting out her thoughts and feelings, untangling those little pieces of her she never thought existed. So she placed those thoughts to the furthest crevices of her mind, in fear of where it would lead. Instead she relishes on the feeling of having the girl she greatly treasures right under her fingertips.

And like a treasure, she started painting all the parts of Santana she was now a stranger of until she had memorized her like the alphabet. She memorized her forward and backward that she's sure that when years have gone by and she's old and grey and her feet can't barely hold her up anymore, she could relive this image in front of her when she was this young eighteen years old, hangover and tired with her face flushed and her heart trumpeting wildly against her rib cage, laying close to her once best friend, and feeling so utterly complete in her life.

"Why do you always feel so...," Brittany whispers but she stops in time to still convince herself of the impeding feeling she's slowly realizing was nothing more but a mere level of friendship. Instead, she furrows her brow in deep thought, halting her soft caresses, before finally whispering, "Are you even aware how crazy you make me feel?"

Santana stirs and for a moment Brittany stills. Her eyes promptly closed as she holds her breath almost afraid of seeing those deep dark eyes she had spent half of her childhood life looking at. But the brunette merely shuffles closer, arms wrapping tightly around her, closing the little space left between them. This small gesture brings a small satisfied smile in Brittany's face as Santana's scent invades her senses stirring memories from when they were young. She likes the calmness it brings. She feels her body relaxing into this soothing tempo. All the while she ignores the multiplying butterflies that invaded her stomach cascading down through her lungs every time she breathes.

When she was sure enough time had passed, she fluttered her eyes open and a sense of relief flowed through her. She felt safe and comfortable that soon sleep had called her. She doesn't remember much but she remembers somewhere in between the midst of her crazy heart beats and uneven breaths, she had fallen asleep with the image of a serene looking Santana. She swears that right before her eyes shuts off, she sees a hint of smile in Santana's face.

Surely, her expression was the same.

Brittany was exhausted when she woke up the second time around. The first thing she noticed was that the room was a lot brighter. It must have been passed noon, she thought. The second thing she noticed was the lack of warmth beside her. She instinctively looked down to where a sleeping Santana would be only to find the space beside her empty. A pout immediately forms on her lips. She wishes she could have woken up next to Santana again.

Sighing, she slowly sat upright. A groan escaping when she felt a throb in her head. It wasn't till a couple of minutes when she fully allowed her eyes to roam around when she spots a glass of water on the bedside table. A smile, which came off more as a grimace, graces her face. She's sure the glass wasn't there earlier. And there was a certain kind of warmness that fills her when she thought of a certain someone placing it in there for her.

"Oh you're up," Santana's voice suddenly broke through causing Brittany to choke on the water.

She thinks she hears Santana cuss in concern while coming closer towards her but she's not too sure. All she knows is that she's coughing like there's no tomorrow and Santana's hands were gently rubbing her back. It was soothing and if she wasn't too busy trying to catch her breath she'd probably be trying to catch her breath for a whole different reason.

"You okay?" Santana asked when she finally stopped coughing. There was guilt and worry in Santana's eyes, a soft flutter in her voice, that for a second Brittany had to remind herself how to breathe. She suddenly doesn't feel well. Her chest feels really tight as if an elephant was stomping on it. Which was weird because if that was the case she would have noticed it. Maybe it was just Santana and the way she was looking at her with such concern that's making Brittany's chest seems to fold onto itself.

She nods feebly, lost for words. It didn't escape her attention that Santana's hand was still running soothingly up and down her back. It feels like she's dreaming, especially from the close distance between them. She could easily feel the girl's body heat radiating throughout her own body. She didn't even realized how cold she was until Santana stood close to her.

Brittany really likes this closeness. She likes how she could strongly smell Santana's shampoo. It was enticing enough that she takes a couple of deep subtle breathes, careful of any sudden movement, in fear that Santana would disconnect the only thing keeping them close. After all, Santana is like a deer and she's a bulldozer.

So she had to be careful.

Strangely enough, when she finds Santana's eyes, she finds herself thrown back into reality. A pang resonates in her chest as her eyes involuntarily flicks down to the plump lips and back to the smouldering chestnut eyes that sets a fire in her body.

"Didn't expect that blondie," Santana snorts. Her look betraying her steady voice.

"Uhh... Neither did I," Brittany shakes her head from the cloudy haze she's in. "You totally caught me off guard."

"So I've been told," Santana smirks, nodding her head proudly. "Although I've never had a girl choke on me before."

"I live to please," she replies playfully, "Glad I could be your first."

"Wanky."

Brittany tilts her head as she scrunched her face in confusion. She had heard Santana say that expression before but she's not too sure what it really means. She was just about to ask the girl but was stopped when she sees Santana's eyes flicker for a moment, her lips tugging into a soft sweet smile.

The kind of smile that Brittany can't seem to look away from. She feels giddy and floaty.

"What?" Santana asked almost annoyed as she pulled her hands away from Brittany's back making the blonde instantly miss it. Warm brown eyes skated across the room to avoid the soft blue ones. "Stop that. You're staring and its giving me the creeps blondie."

Brittany bites her lips. She wanted to tell her, "It's because you're beautiful without even trying. It's because when you're standing in front of me like that it feels like my heart is just about to sprout wings just so it can fly over to you," but of course she doesn't say that.

She can't say that.

She can't voice any of these feelings that's stirring violently in her chest. So instead she just simply allowed her eyes to appreciate the rare time she sees Santana almost 'shy' when she's around her.

She briefly wonders how many people have seen this side of Santana. How many people were privileged enough to witness this moment? Did the people know how lucky they were?

How many times had she missed this chance when she had to go away?

The pressure on her chest slowly builds up.

Is it possible to make up all those years she had missed out on in this one single moment?

Because if she could she never wants to look away ever again.

"Earth to blondie. Did the water get in your head or what?" The brown eyes looks at her, meeting her own. But its never quite enough. "You're not gonna go nuts on me are you?"

"No..no. Its just I have a headache," Brittany mumbles a soft excuse despite the fact that the ache in her head was almost gone. She feels a little guilty for saying that but at the same time she thinks her head will start to hurt again if Santana keeps looking at her like that. It was another expression Brittany couldn't figure out. This part always unsettles her. This feeling of uncertainty she gets when she can't understand the one person she once knew best.

"I thought so," Santana nods after a second. "Well you best drink those medicine," the dark haired girl pointed at the table before she spins around heading to her drawers.

Brittany snaps herself enough from her gaze to grab the medicine that she didn't noticed earlier on the table. Her heart may have just fluttered some more. "Thanks San."

"Call it payback from last time blondie."

Brittany was about to ask the latina what she meant when her stomach grumbled so loudly she swears the whole block had heard it.

Oh god.

She wanted to crawl into a hole.

"Uhh…," she says awkwardly, covering her now red face with her hands. She holds her breath as she took a chance to look between her fingers at the amused brunette, whose face was now twitching from fighting off a giggle.

"I ju-just haven't eaten since yesterday," Brittany stammered, looking down on the ground as she tries to explain herself. "I-I-"

It was then that she hears it. This gentle laugh she had long missed.

"Oh man," Santana wheezes, clutching her stomach as her body shakes with laughter. "That was hilarious."

Brittany's heart involuntarily skips a beat. Her throat thickens as she stares at the care free looking Santana laughing at her, unknowingly stealing her breath away.

It took a good few seconds before the dark haired girl settled down.

Brittany didn't mind it.

It gave her time to appreciate the way Santana lips curled upward, freely showing her dimples and the way the corner of the girl's eyes crinkle making her eyes shine with this brightness Brittany now rarely ever sees. It was beautiful and dazzling.

It was just like the way she remembers it and somewhere inside of her, even if it was silly of her to, took great comfort in that. Without even noticing, her lips tugs into a pleased smile, her embarrassment forgotten. This is definitely her new favourite expression on Santana.

"I miss this," Brittany admits. Her voice soft and fragile. "A lot."

Somewhere in her head and somewhere in her heart she knew what she meant, -I miss you. A lot.

The weight of her words hang heavy in the air. She feels her stomach flipped. Talking to Santana makes her heart pound and her hands tremble, looking at the girl makes it hard for her to breath. But she dared not look away, because if Santana knew her enough, if Santana holds even a little bit of her and what they used to have, then she'll understand what she truly meant behind those words.

Maybe it was a lot to bargain for and waiting for an answer was torturous.

But she was patient.

It happened slowly and if she would have blink she's sure she would have missed it.

Santana looks at her, one eyebrows raised, contradiction flooding through her brown orbs before it settled into this bright and gentle look. A look that shines and wiggles to her like light that she can't seem to escape. And it was there when Brittany sees it, the girl's lips quirking into a soft sincere and timid smile.

It was gone in an instant.

Even if Santana couldn't say the words back, for now its enough.

Because Brittany is patient.

Because even though the distance between them was still immense, Brittany felt that she was able to take that one step closer to Santana making the distance between them just a little bit smaller.

And for now its really enough.

"Now I'm convinced that that water must have gone through your head."

Brittany frowns as she eyes the brunette. "No. I'm pretty sure the water went straight through the wrong pipe."

"You're really something," Santana chuckles, shaking her head. "Now comeon' get dress blondie. I'll make you some breakfast," the brunette smirks handing Brittany some clothing.

"I-is that okay?" Brittany asked hesitantly, not wanting to step into another line that could push Santana away.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

Brittany's face lit up in a loving smile when she hears the respond. Her eyes yielded into this soft appreciative hue that made Santana briefly look away.

"Besides I can't have you waking up the whole neighbourhood."

This remark only made Brittany smile even more.

Note: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in forever. Life kinda got in the way and I really got so busy. :( But I hope this makes up for it. Its shorter than usual and I'm pretty sure there's tons of grammar error and everything all up in there but I hope you still like it! Let me know what you guys think about this chapter. Again thank you for everyone who liked, fav., reviewed or even just read this. You always make my day and honestly it really means a lot to me.

On the side note.. BRITTANA! I'm so happy we're finally getting the ending we've always wanted. We've gone so far. From the girl who didn't want to admit her feelings out loud to the girl who is now marrying her one true love. Its just so amazingggg you know?