YO, LOOK! IT'S LIKE RAINING MIRACLES ALL UP AND HERE BRO'S! I GOT THE MOTHER FUCKING THOUGHTS IN AND IT'S ALL UP AND PIECING TOGETHER NICELY. (o: HONK.
DID I EVER MENTION THAT I JUST HAVE A RANDOM LOVE FOR GAMZEE?

"Hey-! You!" You call, a scowl on your expressions. A small red tint on your cheeks, your arms crossed, and your pout seeming to be slightly awed by those who looked at you. You were only a few sweeps old, already walking around and finding friends like you. You starred at a troll across from you, who seemed to have a little bit of trouble. He was in tears, clown make-up running, and hugging his knees. "Hey!" You call again. He cringed a little, and coward slightly. You run up to him and stop a few feet away from him. "..." Finally you hush your voice and kneel down to his height. "...hey..." You scoot closer and closer and finally place a hand on his head.
He cringed slightly a few sniffles escaping. "...hey, look..." You gently speak, forcing a small soft smile on your face. He shakily just looks up, his indigo tears running more, and staining his shirt and pants. He sniffled softly, a frown struggling to show and soon enough breaks through, tears staining his cheeks heavier. "Hey, hey..." You reach out with more hands and cup his face. Your thumbs brush away his tears gently as he just stares at you with a sad look. "...don't look at me like that..." You whisper. You get on your knees, and tilt your head a little to the side. "...smile?" You ask.
You huff loudly, eyes slightly shocked as he pulled you into a tight, shaky hug. He sniffled and whimpered softly, shaking like a cold animal. You sigh softly, and hug back gently, petting his hair a little. "...shh..." You hush softly, resting your chin on his head.
Soon enough he calms down a little and lets you go. You go back to sitting on your knees, looking at him in the eyes. "Do... you think you can talk to me?"

He nods slightly, and rubs his eye slightly. He finally opens his mouth to speak slightly, then starts to choke on his breath. Soon enough he collapses back into sobs and whimpers. You simply sigh and hug him, petting and patting. "I- i'M sOrRy..." He muttered, calming again.

"Why are you sorry?..."

"It'S mY fAuLt..." He whimpered, "He DiDn'T wAnT mE... hE lEfT mE bEhInD..." He cried softly. You look around. No lusus was around... could he have been abandon?...

"Well... I'm sure it wasn't your fault..." You try to reason with him.

"iT wAs... I kNoW iT..."

"Well..." You think for a moment and sigh, ".. did he tell you directly?" He shook his head, "Are you scared?" He nodded. He sit down in his lap, and nuzzle his neck softly. "... Then you shouldn't be blaming yourself for something you don't know directly... and I know it's scary, but you shouldn't be crying over spilled milk... I'm sure it's nothing... maybe he's just busy..."

That's how you two met... that was a long time ago...

A honk... a few chain rustles... a fuzzy, blurred light...

...Bliss...

"HEY, ASSHOLE" Your voice yelled, "Where the fuck are you?!"
The last you had heard from Makara, he was pretty upset about something.. you had gone off to check on him and now he was simply gone. Where the fuck did that clown run away to?

That's when you hear it.
A sniffle..

Your ears perk up and start to follow the sound of cries and choked whimpers... finally...

You run into a door, leading... outside?
Going outside you see footsteps in the sand... and... Gamzee? He's on the beach, hugging his knees. You run out to him, knowing that the damn clown can't swim. He was neck high in the water, the make up washed half way off. "Gamzee you son of a bitch, what the fuck do you think your doing?!" You snap at him, hugging him close on the beach shore.

"...sOrRy..."

"You should be." You growl, "I know you're upset and I know you're sad about not having a lusus, but that doesn't mean you have to attempt to drown yourself!"

"D- dOn'T yElL..." He whimpered. You take a short breath and stare at him... then sigh.

"Alright, I won't yell... but you shouldn't be doing this..."

"...nO oNe WaNtS mE aRoUnD... nOt My LuSuS... oR oUr FrIeNdS... tHeY aLl LaUgH aT mE... t- ThEy CaLl Me StUpId..." You cringe and grit your teeth.

"WELL FUCK THEM FOR THAT." You hiss, and calm quick, "Don't let them bother you with it. They're stupid. They don't deserve an awesome best friend like you." You quickly cover your mouth as you let that fly.

"...BeSt FrIeNd?" He looked up at you like a lost child. He huff and force yourself to nod.

"...best. friends." You grit your teeth. A smile slowly grew on his teary face as he hugs you tightly.

...You were... how old?... 4?... 5?... something..
Ever since then... Gamzee was happy go lucky... he was...
Smiley... and... never bothered... by what they said...
Never bothered by what you said...

[CG]: HEY ASSHOLE

[TC]: SuP mY mOtHeRfUcKiNg BeSt FrIeNd :o)

[CG]: NO. WE ARE NOT BEST FRIENDS.

[TC]: YeAh We ArE bRo. :o)

You grumble under your breath... god...
...pain... hurt... you want to move away...
Then...
...Bliss...

"...Y- yOu'Re AlWaYs WoRkInG aLl ThE tImE- bUt YoU dOn'T sEe ThE kInD oF lIfE yOu'Re PuShInG aWaY..."

...Why...?

"..YoU dOn'T sEe ThE kInD oF fRiEnDs YoU'rE pUsHiNg AwAY... KaRbRo I'm WoRrIeD aBoUt WhAt YoU'rE dOiNg To YoUr LiFe.."

...Why didn't you listen?...!

"...We'Re SiX sWeEpS oLd, AnD yOu'Re WoRkInG lIkE yOu'Re TwElVe SwEePs..."

...Why didn't you ask questions?!...

"...YoU nEeD tO sToP sO yOu CaN bE a KiD fOr OnCe KaRkAt..."

Why didn't you notice it?!

"...yOu'Ve BeEn So CaUgHt Up In ThE gAmE YoU fOrGoT aBoUt WhO yOu ReAlLy ArE..."

Why didn't you pay attention?!

"BrO, wE bOtH kNoW sOmEtHiNg iS gOiNg To HapPeN.. aNd I dOn'T wAnT tO aLl Up AnD bE rEsPoNcIbLe If AnYoNe GeTs HuRt oR kIlLeD..."

Why didn't you fucking listen?!

"...DiD yOu LiStEn To AnYtHiNg I sAiD, oR dId YoU sImPlY hEaR mY vOiCe SpEaK wOrDs...?"

WHY DIDN'T YOU?!

...Because you caught up in the responsibility of BEING the lusus...
...Because you were busy as a guardian, and a parent...
...Because you were the leader...

...Because you were already dead before your life began...

Your eyes snap open, wide. You gasp loudly, burning sensations on both of your wrists. Your pinned down, on a table by chains and cuffs...

You scream loudly. The numbing gone, your wrists are cuffed in burning hot cuffs! Red hot.

The room his grey... fuzzy.. the light... it's... blurry...

Gamzee... he's... not...

...no...

Visions-
Visions everywhere-
All these visions-

What are you looking at?!

You can see them! You can see their mouths moving! You can feel the pain that this person(?) feels. Their wrists! They burn! The pain! It's excruciating! Those trolls at the bottom, they cry? Those people that surround you? They laugh and mock? What is this? What's going on?!
Equius?! What are you doing?! That arrow- No-!
Gamzee? What happened to your makeup?! You look like a monster!
Feferi- What happened to you?! You look so... evil!
Kanaya... what happened... where are you?

You can see what's happening! You can mouth what they mouth! But you can't here them, nor you. You can't... you can't...

...You can only watch as they fire an arrow at you...

You're gone... and like that...

You're... in bliss again...

I WANT TO ADD MORE TO THIS.. I DON'T KNOW WHAT..