Sunday Dec 13

Buffy woke up with tears In her eyes she went down stairs and she started breakfast and I went to the mantle and picked up the same old picture of the gang I got woozy and dropped It

You are not alone
Dear loneliness
You forgot
But I remember this

I just couldn't hold It my body was getting week I breathed In hard I was getting weaker by the day I knew It I bend down to clean It up. Angel said "let me help you"

Buffy looked up at him "thank you"

he went In the kitchen and get her broom and swept It up "you knocked It over"

she said "no I dropped It my hands got weak and It slipped"

Oh stranger stranger
Stranger things have happened, I know
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

he said "are you okay" she didn't answer she just went out on the forier to the balcony and crawled onto the ledge

he came out she was playing with her hands "you okay"

she shook her head "nope... haven't been for a while"

he questioned "your sIck"

I am not alone
Dear loneliness
I forgot
That I remember this

she looked at him he saw how dark the circle were around her eyes and how pale she was he could see It clearly put here In the light "oh Buffy... whets wrong" she went back In and went In the bathroom she took the two pill bottles out sitting them on the counter and looked at herself In the mirror

You are not alone
Dear loneliness
You forgot

hr picked up the bottles he red the label on was a blood thinner and one was a pain killer he said "what Is"

But I remember this
Oh stranger stranger
Stranger things have happened, I know

she said "I'm dieing"

they ate and spent the day together they now stood on her balcony she said "about two weeks ago after the battle I was diagnosed with an In operable heart condition and a blood clot In my brain where It Is It can't be removed but the clot Is moving down my spin and clotting the valves In my heart medical speak for your going to die and no one knows when I can have a brain aneurism or a heart attack or both were just counting the day"

I am not alone
Dear lonely miss
I forgot
That I remember this

she looked at him scratching her head "I'm not supposed to make to Christmas" looking at the sky as the sun started to set, he came up behind her and touched her arm she grabbed his wrist taking It off and looking at him "I don't need your pity.

Oh stranger stranger
Stranger things have happened, I know
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

***

I going to the bathroom and looking In the mirror what I see Is the spirit what use to be me I noticed the dark circles coming around my eyes and the paleness coming last week I look like a dieing woman which I am but If I keep busy maybe just maybe I can distract myself until Its over I can't look any more I walk out the bathroom turn the light off and head for bed where tonight she knew she would not sleep