Monday Dec 14

the next morning I had therapy I told Angel to come with me my therapist was nice enough to clear his morning for them they went In Angel said "Doctor Myzer" they shook

he shook his hand and they all sat as the doctor said "call me Jonathan"

Angel said "what Is It you think that you can do for me exactly"

he said simply "hypnosis"

Buffy said "you can do that"

Dr Myzer nodded "It's not a more conventional method of my therapy but I can do It In extreme cases this seems extreme enough"

Angel took off his coat and sat back In the chair the doctor put a few electros on his head and then said "I want you close your eyes and to think of a pleasant place In your life time location person and let your mind drift there"

Angel closed his eyes he thought of Buffy In a meadow In a white dress In the sun coming toward him he said "count backwards from 10 to 1"

Angel started counting down "10... 9... 8..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Dream sequence *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he saw Buffy when he first woke up "I missed you so much... I have missed hearing your voice... I dream about it...I wake up some nights and can't remember what you sound like"

the one to her left said In a scratchy voice "you to so did I"

she looked at him "Angel?" he looked at her she looked In his eyes she couldn't read him "wait a minute I'll go get the doctor... don't talk"

the doctor examined him; Dr Murphy explained "there's nothing physical to explain slight disorientation and memory loss"

she came to the door and said "Angel"

he got up and hugged her and said "Buffy what happened... I don't remember"

she looked in his eyes and she couldn't read him "please don't..." she looked at the other bed and back saying nervously "...don't touch me"

Buffy said "why are you doing this where did you come from what happen can you explain that to me"

Angel said "you think I'm Angelus... I'm not him"

when they first met, ANGEL: Ah, he. Is there a problem, ma'am?

BUFFY: Yeah, there's a problem. Why are you following me?

ANGEL: I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I don't bite. Truth Is, I thought you'd be taller, or bigger muscles and all that. You're pretty spry, though.

BUFFY: What do you want?

ANGEL: The same thing you do.

BUFFY: Okay. What do I want?

ANGEL: To kill them. To kill them all.

BUFFY: Sorry, that's Incorrect. But you do get this lovely watch and a year's supply of Turtle Wax. What I want is to be left alone!

(She starts a determined walk away.)

ANGEL: Do you really think that's an option anymore? You're standing at the Mouth of Hell. And It's about to open. Don't turn your back on this. (Tosses her a box) You've got to be ready.

BUFFY: What for?

ANGEL: For the Harvest.

BUFFY: Who are you?

ANGEL: Let's just say... I'm a friend.

BUFFY: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.

ANGEL: I didn't say I was yours.

(He leaves. Buffy stares after him for a moment, and then opens the box. It contains a silver cross and chain.)

there first kiss ANGEL: I just wanted to see if you were okay. And your mother.

BUFFY: We're both good. You?

ANGEL: If I can go a little while without getting shot or stabbed I'll be aright. Look, this can't...

BUFFY: ...ever is anything. I know. For one thing, you're, like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than I am.

ANGEL: I just got to... I got to walk away from this.

BUFFY: I know. Me, too. One of us has to go here.

ANGEL: I know.

(They kiss)

BUFFY: You okay?

ANGEL: It's just...

BUFFY: ...painful. I know. See you around?

(Buffy walks away. Angel watches her go. The camera pans down to his chest where her cross has left a deep burn.)

and her back in the meadow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *End Dream sequence *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"7... 6... 5..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Dream sequence *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
their first time together,
BUFFY: (sobs) Angel... I feel like I lost you... You're right, though. We can't be sure of anything.

ANGEL: Shah. I...

BUFFY: You what?

ANGEL: I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop.

BUFFY: Me, me, too. I can't either.

ANGEL: Buffy, maybe we shouldn't...

BUFFY: Don't. Just kiss me.

The break up,
BUFFY: I always say patrol's not complete without a trip to the stinky sewers.

ANGEL: I'm sure I saw him come down here.

BUFFY: Couldn't we just let this be the vamp that got away? We could say he was this big. (Holds hands apart, like a fish story.)

ANGEL: What can I say? I need closure.

BUFFY: You need clothes. You don't have a tux, do you?

ANGEL: Since when did patrolling go black tie?

BUFFY: For the prom, silly.

ANGEL: We have more important things to think about right now than a dance, Buffy.

BUFFY: Sorry, Giles. I'll just be quiet.

ANGEL: Come on, don't be that way.

A vampire drops from the roof, growling.

BUFFY: Not now.

Buffy casually stakes the vampire and turns to Angel.

BUFFY: I'm not being that way. Every time I say the word 'prom', you get grouchy.

ANGEL: I'm sorry. I'm just worried that you're getting too...Invested In this whole thing.

BUFFY: What whole thing? Isn't this the stuff that I'm supposed to get Invested In? Going to a formal, graduating, and growing up.

ANGEL: I know.

BUFFY: Then what? What's with the dire?

ANGEL: It's uh, it's nothing.

BUFFY: No, you have 'something' face.

ANGEL: I think we need to talk, but not now and not here.

BUFFY: No. No, if you have something to say, then say It. (silence) Angel, drop the cryptic. You're scaring me.

ANGEL: I've been thinking... about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like us, you and me being together, is unfair to you.

BUFFY: Is this about what the Mayor said? Because he was just trying to shake us up.

ANGEL: He was right.

BUFFY: No. No, he wasn't. He's the bad guy.

ANGEL: You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. You should be with someone who can take you Into the light. Someone who can make love to you.

BUFFY: I don't care about that.

ANGEL: You will. And children.

BUFFY: Children? Can you say jumping the gun? I killed my goldfIsh.

ANGEL: Today. But you have no Idea how fast it goes, Buffy. Before you know It, you'll want It all, a normal life.

BUFFY: I'll never have a normal life.

ANGEL: Right, you'll always be a Slayer. But that's all the more reason why you should have a real relationship Instead of this, this freak show. (Buffy is stunned.) I didn't mean that.

BUFFY: I'm going to go.

ANGEL: (grabs her arm) I'm sorry. Buffy, you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this.

BUFFY: Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You think I haven't thought about this?

ANGEL: Have you, rationally?

BUFFY: No. No, of course not. I'm just some swoon little schoolgirl, right?

ANGEL: I'm trying to do what's right here, okay? I'm trying to think with my head Instead of my heart.

BUFFY: Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating!

ANGEL: Don't.

BUFFY: Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never going to change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you.

ANGEL: I don't.

BUFFY: You don't want to be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me.

ANGEL: It doesn't mean that I don't ...

BUFFY: How am I supposed to stay away from you?

ANGEL: I'm leaving. After the Ascension, after it's finished with the Mayor and Faith. If we survive, I'll go.

BUFFY: Where?

ANGEL: I don't know.

BUFFY: Is this really happening?

The prom
BUFFY: I never thought you'd come.

ANGEL: It's a big night. I didn't want to miss It. It's just tonight. It doesn't mean that I ...

BUFFY: I know. I mean, I understand.

ANGEL: Dance with me?

and her closer to him in the meadow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *End Dream sequence *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"4... 3...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Dream sequence *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
her coming to LA on thanks giving,
ANGEL: Well, umm, it's good to... Can I get you anything?

BUFFY: How about an explanation? Who do you think you are coming to my town and following me around behind my back?

ANGEL: I'm sorry.

BUFFY: What Is this? Some new torment you cooked up just for me?

ANGEL: No, I didn't want to torment you...

BUFFY: You can see me, but I can't see you? What are we playing here?

ANGEL: We're not. I'm not playing anything. I wrestled with this decision.

BUFFY: Which you made without me.

ANGEL: I tried to do what I thought was right. It's complicated how this all happened, Buffy, you know? It's kind of a long story.

BUFFY: You're new sidekick had a vision, I was In It, you came to Sunnydale?

ANGEL: Okay, maybe not that long.

BUFFY: You didn't feel that I was Important enough to even tell me that you were there.

ANGEL: I'm trying to explain. It's because I felt that you're Important that I didn't tell you.

BUFFY: I'm a big girl now, Angel. I'm not In High School anymore. A lot has happened in my life since you left.

ANGEL: I know. I respect that.

BUFFY: And I don't need you skulking around, trying to protect me. Unless, of course, I'm in some gigantic fight to the death, which I was last night. That was you, helping me, weren't it?

ANGEL: I was in the neighborhood... skulking.

(...)

ANGEL: I'm sorry if I handled it wrong. What else was I supposed to do?

BUFFY: I don't know. I just know that when you're around, whether I see you or not, I feel you. Inside. And it throws me.

ANGEL: Throws me, too.

BUFFY: So let's just stick to the plan. We'll keep our distance until a lot of time has passed. Given enough time we should be able to...

ANGEL: Forget?

BUFFY: Yeah. So, I'm going to go, start forgetting.

(Demon crashes through the window, attacks)

BUFFY: Angel!

(They wound It, It escapes)

BUFFY: Friend of yours?

ANGEL: Never saw it before.

BUFFY: It was rude. We should go kill it.

ANGEL: I'm free.

BUFFY: Got somewhere I can change?

That day
ANGEL: (pours some tea) would you like some more?

BUFFY: No, thank you.

ANGEL: I'm really sorry I kissed you like that.

BUFFY: You are?

ANGEL: Well, not for the kiss itself...

BUFFY: Good. I mean, 'cause - as far as kisses go I thought it was well above average.

ANGEL: It was Incredible. I just - I-I think, maybe we'd be asking for trouble rushing back into things. Not that I don't want to - rush. I do. Believe me.

BUFFY: Right. I mean, you spoke to the Oracles and they did say that you were cured for good. But how do we know that they really speak for the Powers? I mean they could be - pranksters.

ANGEL: Or there could be another loophole.

BUFFY: Exactly. And then the two of us are in even deeper and it's 'err' all over again.

ANGEL: It would be smart to wait a while. See if this mortal thing takes.

BUFFY: Exactly. And even If it does, it's still complicated.

ANGEL: You're still the Slayer. And I'm not sure what I am now. I don't know what my purpose is. I can't just wedge myself into your life back In Sunnydale. It wouldn't be good for either of us. Not to mention the fact that you just started college. And what about slaying. I mean, if you had me to worry about, you might not be as focused.

BUFFY: Are you going to pull out a pie chart on me now? 'Cause I get It, It's not necessary.

ANGEL: I'm not saying I don't want you, Buffy. You know how much... I'm just saying it's worth the wait to know that it's right. I need to be sure you won't get hurt again.

BUFFY: You know It's a good thing I didn't fantasize about you turning human only about 10 zillion times, because today would have been a real let down. So how does the mature plan go? You call me? I call you? What?

ANGEL: We stay in touch. Just not...

BUFFY: Literally. Funny. Okay, I'd better...

ANGEL: Right. Remove the temptation.

BUFFY: So, we'll talk soon.

(She casually touches his hand. And it's all over; much passionate kitchen-table kiss age ensues. After...)

BUFFY: (calling) and peanut butter, preferably crunchy!

ANGEL: I got it.

BUFFY: A perfect yum. (Angel feeds her a spoon of Ice cream) Mom, this is a dream. You're human for like a minute and already there's CookIe-dough-fudge-mInt-chIp in the fridge.

ANGEL: God, I love food.

BUFFY: Food is good.

ANGEL: Why didn't you ever tell me about chocolate and peanut butter?

BUFFY: Well, I figured if your vamp taste buds couldn't really savor it, then it would only hurt you to know? By the way, I'm over the whole needing to be mature thing. That time you just spent in the kitchen? That was enough time apart.

ANGEL: Too much. (They kiss and some Ice cream drips from his spoon on his chest.) Okay, mortal coordination leaving something to be desired.

BUFFY: Wrong. It's just right.

(Angel laughs as she licks up the Ice cream then pulls her down Into a kiss.)

(...)

BUFFY: (listens to Angel's heart) It's a good sound. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

ANGEL: It feels pretty amazing.

BUFFY: I'm so glad we didn't logic ourselves out of this. We'll make it work, right?

ANGEL: We will.

BUFFY: Oh, I'm so sleepy, but I still want...

ANGEL: What? You couldn't possibly. I mean, not that I wouldn't...

BUFFY: No, no. I'm spent. Pleasantly numb even. You?

ANGEL: (smiles) for now.

BUFFY: No, I... want to stay awake. So this day can keep happening.

ANGEL: Sleep. We'll make another one like it tomorrow.

BUFFY: Angel? This is the first time I've ever really felt this way.

ANGEL: What way?

BUFFY: Just like I've always wanted to. Like a normal girl, falling asleep in the arms of her normal boyfriend. It's perfect.

her coming back to argue with faith him slapping her,
(Angel's comforting Faith on the bed, shirt still unbuttoned, looks over as he hears someone come down the stairs. It's Buffy.)

ANGEL: Buffy. I didn't know you...

BUFFY: What... How... What are you doing?

ANGEL: She... we were attacked.

BUFFY: We? You and?

ANGEL: Faith.

BUFFY: You and Faith.

ANGEL: Oh, It's not what you think.

BUFFY: You actually think I can form a thought right now? Giles heard that... that she tried to kill you.

ANGEL: That's true.

BUFFY: So you decided to punish her with a severe cuddling?

ANGEL: Is that why you're here? To punish her?

BUFFY: I was worried about *you*.

FAITH: Buffy. (Buffy turns her head and glares) Oh, god.

BUFFY: (advancing) you didn't think I was going to find you, did you?

ANGEL: Buffy, let's talk.

BUFFY: Oh, I don't think talk Is In order right now.

ANGEL: She needs help.

BUFFY: Help? Do you have any Idea what she did to me?

ANGEL: Yes.

BUFFY: Do you care?

ANGEL: She wants to change. She has a chance to...

BUFFY: No. No chance. Jail.

ANGEL: You think that'll help?

FAITH: Buffy... I'm soaring...

BUFFY: You apologize to me and I will beat you to death.

FAITH: (lost) Go ahead.

ANGEL: (steps In front of Faith) this is not going to happen.

BUFFY: You're going to stop me? 'cause you're going to have to.

FAITH: Don't do this.

ANGEL: Faith, go upstairs, now.

BUFFY: You think I'm going to let her out of my sight?

ANGEL: Buffy, just back off.

BUFFY: There is no way I'm letting her out of my sight.

ANGEL: Faith, go!

BUFFY: Don't you move a...

(she goes to stop Faith, Angel stops her, she punches him, goes to hit him again but he blocks and punches her. Then looks all hurt and shocked.)

ANGEL: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

(...)

BUFFY: You should have told me what was going on.

ANGEL: I didn't... I didn't think it was your business.

BUFFY: Not my business?

ANGEL: I needed more time with Faith. I'm not sure...

BUFFY: You needed... Do you have *any* Idea what It was like for me to see you with her? That you went behind my back...

ANGEL: Buffy, this wasn't about you! This was about saving somebody's soul. That's what I do here, and you're not a part of it. That was your Idea, remember? We stay away from each other.

BUFFY: I came here because you were in danger.

ANGEL: I'm in danger every day. You came because of Faith. You were looking for vengeance.

BUFFY: I have a right to it.

ANGEL: Not In my city.

BUFFY: I have someone in my life now. That I love. It's not what you and I had. It's very new. You know what makes it new? I trust him. I know him.

ANGEL: That's great. It's nice... you moved on. I can't. You found someone new. I'm not allowed to, remember? I see you again; it cuts me up Inside and the person I share that with is me! You don't know me anymore, so don't come down here with your great new life and *expect* me to do things your way. Go home!

(She walks away, pauses)

BUFFY: See? Faith wins again.

ANGEL: (not looking at her) Go.

(Buffy goes.

***
Him going to Sunnydale after her mother's death and the kiss,
BUFFY: It's going to be light soon.

ANGEL: I can stay in town as long as you want me.

BUFFY: How's forever? Does forever work for you? (Apologetically) That's a bad Idea. I'm seriously needy right now.

ANGEL: Let me worry about the neediness. I can handle it.

(They look at each other, and then Buffy leans in and kisses him. They kiss softly for a moment. Then it gets a little more heated and they pull away, both breathing harder. )

BUFFY: I told you. You better go.

ANGEL: I'm sorry.

BUFFY: (firmly) No. I'm so grateful that you came, Angel. I didn't think I was going to be able to make It through the night.

ANGEL: (looks up at the sky) well, we still have a few more minutes until I have to go.

BUFFY: Good.

(She puts her head on his chest and leans against him. He puts his arm around her shoulders.)

BUFFY: Good.

(They sit quietly together.)

There last kiss In Sunnydale
BUFFY: See? Under control.

ANGEL: Well, at least you could tell me you're glad to see me.

(They kiss.

the goodbye
BUFFY: What was the highlight of our relationship? When you broke up with me or when I killed you? I'm well aware of my stellar history with guys and no, I don't see fat grandchildren in the offing with Spike. But I don't think that really matters right now. You know, In the midst of all this Insanity, a couple of things are actually starting to make sense. And the guy thing? (Sighs) I always feared there was something wrong with me. You know, because I couldn't make it work. But maybe I'm not supposed to.

ANGEL: Because you're the Slayer.

BUFFY: Because? Okay. I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it Is I'm going to turn out to be. I make It through this and the next thing and the next thing and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m? (covers) or enjoy warm, delicious cookie-me, then that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.

ANGEL: Any thoughts on who might enjoy? do I have to go with the cookie analogy?

BUFFY: I'm not really thinking that far ahead. That's kind of the point.

ANGEL: I'll go start working on the second front. Make sure I don't have to use it.

(Heads off)

BUFFY: (calling after him) Angel. (He pauses) I do? Sometimes think that far ahead.

ANGEL: Sometimes is something.

BUFFY: It'll be a long time coming. Years, if ever.

ANGEL: (smiles) I ain't getting any older?

2...1" now she was In front of him In the meadow and she said "you ready to see what your missing" she reached for his hand and he took It

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *End Dream sequence *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

he was out for almost three hours his body began to shake Buffy said "what happening to him"

Therapist looked shocked "I don't know"

she said "you don't know... could It be s seizer"

he said "turn him on his side" they rolled him over and he curled up

she said "Angel... Angel can you hear me"

he stopped shaking and he opened his eyes and she said "Angel"

he looked at her and for the first time sense he woke up she saw Angel looking back her.
She said choked up "Angel"

he said "Buffy" not confused any long she kissed him in passion suffix to say she didn't have her therapy session that day.