Saturday Dec 19
I woke up to a red rose one of the large ones found here the rose lay open on my Pillow and I turned to find breakfast and my pills I smile I eat and while I'm eating I notice his bags In the corner I went to them and I unzipped on and looked though It when I reached the bottom something didn't feel right I fount the zipper It was a false bottom In It and In tided was a box that resembled a bible box I picked It up and ran my hands over the lock why did he have a box In his bag and hidden at that I heard noise on the steps and I tossed It back were It was zipped the false bottom let the clothing fall back In place zipping It up and standing It back where It was and went back to the bed.

he comes In and saw her she looked out of breathe he asks "what wrong"

she looks up at him from bed "It's nothing at all... just got up to fast my heart started beating to fast and that caused me to start breathing heavy"

he said "okay you going to hand out with the girls"

she nodded "give me a minute I need to get my breathe"

he sat next to her "If your too tired maybe you shouldn't"

she looked at him "I need this"

he nodded "okay but be careful" he brushed his knuckles on her face and kissed her forehead and then lips.

she came down stairs and went in the kitchen the girls were cutting pie Dawn bought the other day and it fell off the table and she remembered
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Flashback *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(removing pie)

JOYCE: Damn It! I hate this oven. It burnt.

BUFFY: Oh, no, it's just blackened, you know, it's, it's Cajun pie.

GILES: (to Joyce, RE wine) shall I open another?

JOYCE: Oh, do you think we dare?

BUFFY: As long as you two stay away from the band candy, I'm cool with anything.

JOYCE: (quietly to Buffy) you are a demon child.

BUFFY: I live to torment you, is that so wrong?

JOYCE: A daughter's duty, I suppose.

BUFFY: Look, all we have to do Is just cut off a little bit of the burnt...

(As she begins trying to cut the pie, It falls off the Island and onto the floor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *End Flashback *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
she watched as they cleaned It up Angel came up behind her and went to grab the mop he said "you okay"

she smiled touching her head and said "I'm just tired"

Rachel said "If your tired we can hang around here"

Buffy said "no we're going" they grabbed there stuff and headed out Angel stopped her In the hall way

he said "you call me If you start feeling any worse" he touched her face and kissed her forehead and he kissed her

she looked at him "I'm good"

she and the girls went to lunch they took a ride on the gondola as and talked about guys and sex and Buffy had a good time Buffy split off with them and said she would meet them for dinner and they would go clubbing after.

Buffy took the train to England to ask a priest something she went In she went up front lit a candle and sat In the pew and said "go I am so confused I don't know who I'm with maybe I'm crazy and I said I wasn't going to let It bother me but my body has other Ideas because every time I think that I could be with the wrong one my body tights up and my stomach cringes why am I worried If I think I made the right decision god I wish I knew"

a priest came over to her "searching for guidance my child"

Buffy said "now more then ever"

he said "tell me"

she said "you would never believe me"

he said "I'm a priest I know a lot of things, tell me and I may be able to help you"

she explained everything too him to a degree she sits on the bench propping her leg on the pew bench talking to a priest "he knows things I just can't be sure"

he said "the world of science a faith sometimes can't explain.... trust your heart follow It when you see the one In Accomack again you search your soul again If he fells right then you know and do the same thing when you see your current again If It feels wrong once you've done both then you really know"

she said "okay... but how do I know the comfort I feel with the one that Is not conscious I only feel that way because he Isn't awake and It's safer"

he touched her knee "you know the truth"

she nodded "thank you" he patted her shoulder and left

she got home before they had to get ready for dinner she went In and up the steps she saw him In the room walking round looking In the box he smirked shutting It and putting It away. she walked half way down and came back going In the room and said "hey"

he said "hey how was your day"

she smiled "good we had a good time I'm going to get a shower before dinner then me and the girls are heading to the club for dancing"

he nodded "okay"

It almost midnight Angels sleep and I'm sitting here working on my diary entry for today and my manifesto I turn and look at him sleep he look so peaceful he can't be I lean over and kiss him and I close the computer and take my pills and go to bed.