Tuesday Dec 22

This feeling that I get
This one last cigarette
As I lay awake
And wait for you to come through the door

here I lay In my bed almost to a point that I can barely move so tired It so silence so very silent It's almost defining, I bought pack of Italian curettes yesterday just so that I could try them what the hell were they going to do to me kill me I think that my heart was going to do that before they got a chance I lit one up about an hour ago took few puffs It I smoked one yesterday while I was drinking In the gondola ride. I know that he's coming he's going to come and talk to me about the stunt I pulled yesterday It was stupid but I was lost and I really didn't care I don't much care today

Oh maybe maybe maybe
I can share It with you
I behave I behave I behave
So I can share It with you
***
Willow said "she did what"

Angel was leaning on the door and said "she jumped off the bridge"

Willow said "what Is up with her lately she's been so crazy"

Angel said "I don't know"

Willow said "you mean she hasn't told you"

Angel said "no... she's been feeling trapped"

Willow said "you think she could be suicidal"

Angel said "no I think she's just feeling a little lost and trapped"

Willow said "can I go talk to here" he nodded
***
You are not alone
Dear loneliness
You forgot
But I remember this
Oh stranger stranger
Stranger things have happened, I know

Willow went up to her room she went In she didn't care about knocking she smelled the smoke when she walked In the door she walked around the bed putting out the curette and picked It up she said "your smoking now"

Buffy just look at her "just felt like It"

Willow said "like you felt like jumping off a bridge... what the hell are you doing"

Buffy said "that was..."

Willow sat next to her on the bed "what I really wanna hear this"

Buffy said "Willow I'm tired please"

Willow said "I am only telling you this because I care about you...but sorry no"

Buffy shook her head "Willow, your my best friend and I love you I just need you to leave me be all will be explained later I promise you"

Willow looked at her "you better, you don't look well Buffy"

Buffy said "just pilled up jet lag and the fact I had the flu It's knocking me down"

Willow said "take care of yourself Buffy or I'm going to have to get Xander and Dawn on you"

Buffy gave her a scared looked "oh no please not them"

Willow said "don't push me then"

Buffy said "you may not understand now Wills but... I'm living I'm being happy In my own way let me be"

Willow said "okay" she walked out she knew what was happening she didn't wanna admitted but she could almost read It as clear as day on Buffy's face she knew

I am not alone
Dear lonely miss
I forgot
That I remember this

Oh stranger stranger
Stranger things have happened, I know
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

Angel Brought Buffy some tea she sipped It and said "you going to yell at me to"

he said "nope, Willow tortured you enough for the both of us"

Buffy said "lay with me"

he said "okay" he covered her up as he got In bed with her and she curled up next to him and he kissed her forehead and she soon was sleep.