Wednesday Dec 23
We'll
dream about somewhere
Our smoke will fill the air
As I lay
awake and wait
For you to walk out that door
I had
slept all day yesterday I feel a lot better then I did yesterday but
something was going to happen today I knew It Angel was gone then I
remembered something the book the book I found In Angels old building
with everything It I got up and looked under the bed there was the
book I had brought It back with me my last trip out of town I looked
at It I went to the last few pages and read
Nov 24
the battle Is not all that far off I can feel It I don't know what
this Is I have a funny feeling something going to happen I called
Willow and she's getting Buffy In on this battle I hope she comes It
would be great to see her again this might be It the battle the
prophecy had been talking about but I don't know, I think I screwed
up over the past five years sense the Fall of LA I've been looking
for a way to become human and a few weeks ago I found a soccer that
could do It and he Id but something went wrong I'm not human but this
battle Is the one that supposed to do It I think the spell split me
one human one vampire I stayed a vampire but the human I think It has
no soul, It's been following me... I have felt It, I think It's going
to be at the battle that does turn me human If that happens because
of what I did I know something's going to go wrong I just don't
know what
I can change I can change I can change
But
who do you want me to be
I'm the same I'm the same I'm the
same
What do you want me to be
I shut the book
dropping It to the floor I fell something behind me as I kick the
book under the bed jumping up to face him
Angel said "you okay I see your up you wanna have breakfast"
Buffy said "you know what I have a few last minute things that I wanna do today and I'm not all that hungry after I came off the medication okay"
he said "okay" he left the room she went to the doorway and watched him go down the hall and down the steps grabbing her clothing and getting ready she left Angel came to the window and watched her go he got a glint In his eye and left after her the phone rang no ones there to answer It
Willow cursed under her breath she said to Giles "she's not picking up"
Giles was looking at the book not the magic books the codex he found the spell that was used and It wasn't a traditional spell It was a limbo fault stop he said "Angel lied"
Willow said "and once she finds out"
Giles took his glass off and tapped them on his lip "he's going to kill her"
Buffy took a car to the location In England where they were keeping the other Angel In Intensive care she got to the special hospital ward Giles had built back when the slayer council was made It was used for the slayers when they got Injured In battle just for them but they bought the other Angel there so they could keep and eye on him.
You
are not alone
Dear loneliness
You forgot
But I remember
this
she got there going In she went right to his room
he was still there she walked up to the bed and stood next to It "oh
god Angel Is It really you, here was I really that stupid I read your
journal you knew something was going to happen... god I hate this why
didn't you tell me what you thought would happen, I failed I really
failed you and now I guess we both loose I don't get to tell you
goodbye and you don't get to say goodbye to me"
Oh
stranger stranger
Stranger things have happened, I know
Oh,
oh
Oh, oh
she sniffled she wiped a tear from her eye leaning down to kiss him on the forehead running her fingers though his hair
a voice said "I figured you would be here"
she turned simultaneously wiping her face and said "Angel"
he said "yes, me here not him... me"
he walked toward her she circled the room away from him as he sat on the edge of the bed next to him he looked at her and said "I'm going to ask you one last time do you trust me, do you believe me... or I'll leave right now you can't have us both, It's me or him"
she looked at him walking toward him not breaking eye contact she placed one hand on his face the other on his neck and kissing him ever so tenderly pulling back she smiled "see you know what gave you away you were a little too clingy to me and every time I was around you something just didn't feel right but you know It was a nice trick you pulled when you figured out o was looking though your things and faked that pain attack telling me that bull about how you came to be two and you know what really got you caught the fact that you kept coming back to visit him and you seemed a little to egger when you first mention me taking him off life support Angel Is way more cryptic he never Is that straight forward unless some he cares for Is about to be hurt but you know It was fun while It lasted... was It fun for you"
she saw the anger shoot through his eyes Angel never got that mad as he nearly through her against the opposite wall with one swing she hit the floor looking up at him he said "you know what your really good Buff, really good I tried so hard to get you to see me as him and you never once did never even when you did It was because you didn't care I could have killed you a week ago when we went to therapy and he went playing around In my head I remember just who I was and I saw how sick you were so I just played the good little Angel for you"
Buffy rubbed her chest and said "and you know why you did that you can try to convince yourself of other wise but you did It because In all actually you really are In love with me, you love me as much as he does and you hate me just as much as you love me, and hate yourself for loving me so you convinced yourself you were hurting me by loving me that was the best thing you could have done for me I need that love and passion then you think It matters to me I'm dieing hell I'm damn near dead what you did was what we people call human"
He grabbed her up off the floor by the throat and yelled "yeah and humans some time become obsess with people and me I'm never going to let you go" he forcefully turned her around "say goodbye to you pretty boy"
Buffy said "no, you think I care what you do to me nothing you can do to me can be worse then what already happening to me so stop waiting your breathe"
he knocked her down she looked up at him "your not going to win this one Angelus just like you didn't before your pathetic and I'm on to you.... oh and you might wan be concerned when you stop breathing"
he was confused "what"
It happen so fast he didn't see It coming Angel had woken up heard the whole thing and too the IV cord stripped them from the wall twisted them around his hand and was bring them over his head and said "this, him guess who woke up" he took all the strength he had to strangle him to death and once he went lip he lit up In purple light as he hit the floor and then he was gone they looked down at where he used to be she looked up and said "Angel"
I
am not alone
Dear loneliness
I forgot
That I remember
this
he gave her his classic half smile and glint In
his eyes she remembered so well saying "Buffy" In that
silky voice that made her go crazy
You are not alone
Dear
loneliness
You forgot
But I remember this
she bust Into tears he sat nest to her and said "hey Buffy I'm here... now, I'm not going anywhere"
Oh stranger stranger
Stranger
things have happened, I know
her chest hurt "but I am" she started to gasp "something's not right" as she laid In his lap curled up on the floor "call for help Now, HURRY!" she blacked out
When I woke up I was In a hospital bed I looked at the monitor my heart was struggling to keep beating I trued over to see Angel sitting In the chair he was now where his normal clothing and he was lost In though I said "Angel"
he slid the chair closer to her bed and "hey Buffy"
she smiled "I'm glad your here, god I'm glad your here and It's you"
he said "I need you to look at me and tell me what's wrong with you"
she said "I think you already know that Angel"
he looked down at her hand and said "your dieing"
she said "only Giles knows because he's handling everything when It's over at least financially"
he nodded "okay. Is there any thing I can do"
she said "yeah get me out of this hospital"
he said "you can't walk around with your heart beating as slow as It Is"
she said "I know... that why I need you to get me too full shots of adrenaline"
he said "Buffy"
Buffy said "my last wish Is to have one day with you give me that and that the only why I can get It just do It please"
he nodded "okay"
Willow and Giles showed up after Angel got the two shots he gave me a small portion enough to make me feel well enough to get up and start moving around when they got there I was dressed and sitting In the chair they said "Buffy we were looking for you all day"
Buffy said "I've been here sense 2"
Willow said "but Angel... oh him Angel... Angel"
Angel smiled crossing his arms "same old Willow... yes It me the other one Is dead"
Willow said "how did you"
Buffy said "we fought Angel suffocated him snapping his neck and he disappeared I think It was kind of like what happen to Xander there not suppose too exist apart so when on was dead It was gone"
Willow said "but he was a limbo"
Giles came In and said "I can explained It a lot better then her"
Buffy said "please"
Giles said "I'm assuming Angel did a spell to turn human before the last battle the powers had a plan to turn human after that battle but because he did that spell the powers screwed It up for him so he stayed the same and his bad side became human but Angelus being Angelus followed him and he was at the battle and when the battle happened they ended up getting Into a fight at the end of It and when the change started they both blacked out we brought them to the hospital and there minds were stuck In a limbo fighting for control and Angelus one but during the time Angel was still out he complete the transition with out having to fight for It he healed but Angelus knew that this was happen that why he was visiting so often and he figured out about the camera so he couldn't exactly do anything to you so he just kept a eye on you but If you woke up and he was the only one here he was going to kill you he knew you would wake up because he felt a growing uneasiness what ever humanity was In him was being pulled back Into you which was In turn making him crazed as the true Angelus"
Buffy said "all that good and all but In lemans terms please I'm getting a headache"
Giles said "Angels humanity was being sucked a way from him and all that was left was a demons mind set and that wasn't enough to keep him alive so when Angel awake he was weakened and when Angel killed him he took full clime over his humanity"
Buffy said "okay"
Willow said "so what are you guys going to do, you still don't look any better"
Buffy said "were going bake to the penthouse In Italy for Christmas Eve... give us some time to bond" Angel grabbed d her coat and they left.