Hello again readers. Okay another longish chapter written while on the train cross country listening to music shuffle so please forgive me if I have flipped and changed moods a little bit. Thanks also the review given by Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay
for the last chapter. In response i know that the films don't really explain the clones lives much, niether do the TV shows but I think that they must have a sense of self, and the way that they are different from everybody else, and yet the same as each other. Also, just by looking at Rex and Cody, the only two named clones in the show, and the way that they are developed as people could suggest that all clones are like this. Do you agree?
"The mess hall, if you could call it that, was little more than an extra large tent. Inside were a few makeshift gas rings and open fires for cooking the food. The Clones it in turns to cook and prepare the food, for the rest of the squadron the teams were normally about 7 or 8 at a time. Unfortunately it appeared there were only a handful of the clones in the entire 501st that had actually passed their exam in food tech. AS a result you were never entirely sure of actually how edible the food was. Outside the tent was a large open fire, the sort that Anakin, as a padiwan had sat around with the other younglings his age and toasted marshmallows on. Around the growing inferno of the blaze were makeshift chairs, these also differed in various degrees of quality depending on the war, how bad it was to the local environment, and also the development of the planet. Fortunately, this time, the scavengers had procured several decrepit looking armchairs which were strewn in a in a haphazard circle.
"This is cosy" Satine said brightly, and it was, her view of the front line was worst than this. Behind her were murmurs of agreement from Padmé. Anakin checked his watch and cursed in Basic. He hadn't sworn in Huttese, or even used it for a long time. He had forgotten that his time piece had long since broken- its screen smashed and cracked having taken a laser bolt at the end of the previous year, he resorted to looking up in the sky. This was something all Jedi were supposed to be able to do, and be accomplished in. However he had never even been close to just understanding how to do it, resorting in the tests to guessing. Therefore he was thankful when, on his 13th birthday his master had given him a watch. It was a simple analogue watch, silver in colour with a gold ring around the face. There was no name etched on the watch face, instead a name, but the characters were illegible after the watches sustained time in the temple. This was according to his master, who said that it had been passed from master to apprentice until it had been passed onto Obi-Wan from Qui-Gon. The other Jedi masters resented it, saying that it was against the syllabus, but then, according again to his master they had said the same on his thirteenth birthday. And plus, like all the resentments held towards Anakin they never said anthing not to his, nor his masters face. This all left Anakin pondering the time. Suddenly it came to him. Not from the stars but from counting forward in his head from the last known time.
"The dinner bell is about to go" he said causally, trying to keep a light conversation going. The wall of calm was firmly up in position. Anakin Skywalker did not make the same mistake twice. Well, that's what he wanted to think anyway.
"We..." Satine stopped, clearly worried about contradicting the young knight again. She glanced at Padme for support who quickly took over.
"We ate just before we arrived" she said, taking in Anakin's confused expression she quickly clarified. "On the ship". The expression cleared back to a carefully maintained blank, unfeeling wall. It was the chancellor who spoke, giving them all a spook as they had momentarily forgotten he had existed, and was there alongside them.
"Senators you hardly ate anything, as chancellor I must insist you eat". The younger females looked at each other and shrugged, wishing to avoid another confrontation with anyone else in the group they set off towards the kitchens just as a bell rang out through the camp. It was a singular, almost solidarity beat at first, beating out a specific beat, then more joined in, a chorus of them. Their tunes weaved together, in and out of each other. There was a reason for this, doing a melody where no singular bell could be heard would make near impossible to replicate. It had happened before the dinner bell being replicated with disastrous consequences, both for the Clones and the Jedi involved. It wouldn't happen again.
As Padmé and Satine returned with their steaming disposable plates held in front of them, grimacing from the strange odour Anakin walked over to them with a clone right behind them. The clone's uniform was dirty and dusty from the day's battles and he had clearly patterned it with some yellow sort of markings.
"Senators" Anakin said he glanced at Cody who stiffened up to attention; he would stay like that during the whole conversation. "I'm going to check on General Kenobi" Anakin stated, surprising Satine slightly, surely after prior events it would have been better to meditate. Clearly Padmé didn't seem to surprised, and even enthusiastically agreed with him.
"Yes Master Jedi, go and bring news of the general back to us we are ALL deeply worried about him" she said, still the calm mask on her face didn't crack. She wasn't even looking at him but more at her friend. Even though she had put emphasise on the word 'all' it was clear to Anakin that he really meant her friend. Not that she wasn't worried about him, even Palpatine was, who had taken to staring at the scene with his eye brows knitted together, his face resting on his knuckles. Anakin once again bowed. Straightened and turned to Padmé. Beautiful kind Padmé and mouthed the word sorry to her. Then, his heart broke. She didn't answer. Her eyes registered nothing. On the inside he was crying on the out he was calm. He walked away through the monsoon of his soul. Fighting the storm of his heart. He walked away.
It took him less than 2 minutes to seek and located the medical tent, as soon as he entered the troops stood to attention. Bloody Clones.
"At ease" he growled out, he glanced around questionably at them. They mirrored his expression. God they were slow he thought savagely, not yet recovered from the anger he had felt coursing through is veins. He opened his mouth to clarify exactly why he was there when one of the clones jumped forward, obviously indentifying what the general was after.
"General Kenobi is through here sir" he said opening a flap which lead into another room. In reality it was just another, much smaller tent which was connected to the main one. Anakin scowled, he knew his master hated being treated different to everyone. And this was different. Normally the clones would be treated where they lie, broken after battle or in their tents, not so close to the medical bay.
"Thank you..." he trailed off, he made a point to name and try and remember all the names of his squadron. He knew there wasn't much point they died so frequently nowadays, their lives snuffed out like a candle, and new ones were coming through. This clearly was a new one, his polished uniform, new and shiny clearly done with the sole aim of pleasing his commanding officers. A fresh lamb for slaughter.
"Tarris sir" he said eagerly, then paused and remembered something from his training "CT 50678/45". Wow had the numbers really gotten that long; he remembered a time when there was only a few, four numbers at the most in a clones issue number. Rex and Cody were the only ones which remained of the original 501st all the others had either died in battle or declared unfit for service so forced to remain at a training centre training the next bunch to come through. One had been transferred to the medical corps- he was dead now too.
"Tarris" Anakin said lightly, Tarris looked shocked, and then smiled slightly holding the tents entrance flap open a little wider than before. Murmuring his thanks again Anakin stepped inside.
The tent was about the size of Anakin's room back at the temple. At one side lay his master on a couple of blankets strewn haphazardly on top of each other. On the other side was a large work bench, clearly used as of a few minutes ago as a strategic planning desk. Anakin quickly bowed his head over it, his hand going up to tuck his hair behind his ear so he could study it better. His eyes flicked over the lines made on the paper maps and also the data pads scattered about the desk. He frowned slightly, he features creasing up and he scribbled a couple of his own notes next to Obi-Wan's. For a second he felt slightly embarrassed about his untidy scrawl next to the small cramped neat handwriting of his master. Perfection was his standard. No more. No less. Anakin was the same- just his perfection was, on some things substandard. His handwriting was one. Meditation was another. A slow mumble diverted his attention from the maps to the man whom he come to see.
"Anakin" he said, slurring his words out of tiredness. Instantly the younger man was standing over him the Master.
"Master?" he asked, gently laying a hand on Obi-Wan's cheek and moving it down his face in the same way that Obi-Wan had done to comfort Anakin as a boy. In response Obi-Wan moved onto the edge of the makeshift bed. Anakin smiled slightly, his master always knew how to cheer him up. He lay next to him- careful not to crush him and buried his head into his shoulder as he felt Obi-Wan holding him. His arms moving up to give a firm grip on the broader shoulders of his padiwan.
No, he was more that. Nobody could ever describe the bond between a padiwan and a master, but he had fallen into the same trap his previous master had with his first apprentice. He had become attached instead of thinking of him as a brother he began to think of him as a son. He looked down proudly at his charge, still buried into him chest. His son.
"I've done a bad thing" Anakin mumbled pathetically into his chest, wounding like the ten year old boy who was always behind on his crèche work. This time his master knew it was much more serious. He could fell the darkness around his soul, the protective shields were up. The older master sighed wishing they could both go back to a time when there had been nothing which had been hidden by his padiwan. Before the war. Before Geonosis. Before death. Before the darkness had blossomed around them.
"Shh" Obi-Wan whispered, he was intently curious and eager to help with what was bothering him but he knew all he could do was calm Anakin down, the boy had quite successfully somehow managed to cradle even closer into him.
"Master?" he mumbled again and Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He hated Anakin calling him that. It might be his rank like 'sir' or 'ma'am' but he knew that to Anakin, at least in the early days had been a link to slavery. To the slavers and the owners. It suggested that he, Obi-Wan Kenobi had power over Anakin Skywalker. If only that was the case, then he might do as he is told Obi-Wan thought. He wanted to be able tell Ankin that they were equals in all but rank. But he never could. Because if he did he knew that Anakin would withdraw even more from him. Neither wanted anything to change. So here they were. Father and Son. Curled up on a makeshift bed snuggling together for comfort, protection, warmth and so many other things. Anakin had been his anchor in life when his compass had died, had made him realise that life had to go on. It didn't stop, for no one. Without him...Obi-Wan didn't want to think about it.
To Anakin his master was HIS compass. Before his first year of apprenticeship had ended, he would have said Qui-Gon was his father and Obi-Wan, snobby Obi-Wan was his evil brother. Now his master, his friend Obi-Wan was his brother-cum-father. His map through the darkness in his soul. But, more importantly he was a constant in his life right from the beginning of it. Slavery was in a different life, in a different storage box hopefully locked away forever along with the death of his mother. He had been there for the good and the bad times.
"Yes" Obi-Wan said slowly and sleepily.
"I want you to know that I'm sorry, I didn't hurt anybody". These words felt strange to Obi-Wan and he pulled the younger one in closer. The senators were forgotten.
"I know" he said comfortingly gently probing the bond for an answer. He was rewarded by a brief image of him holding a blonde woman to a tree. It was a perfect snapshot. Some things were in such sharp focus, like Padmé and the background, others were blurred, and the person who was quite easily supposed to be Palpatine was obscured and blurred by blackness. As was the blonde woman. Unfortunately Obi-Wan knew exactly who it was: Satine. The whole scene was stained in red. The colour of blood. The red of the Sith. The red of tragedy. As soon as he had registered all this, the picture was whisked away and replaced with...a brick wall. A classic block. Anakin was blocking his master. And Obi-Wan couldn't understand it and that hurt. Big time. Even more than the Jedi master would have thought it would. He retreated back into the present and gave Anakin a comforting squeeze. He will be there for him. As always. Now. Then. Forever. As long as he was able he would help his friend. This was the coherent thought he had before drifting back off to sleep. His arms still around Anakin. Who couldn't sleep.
He kept thinking about what had happened. He had blocked his master. He actually felt the need to block him totally. Sure he kept things from him, he always had been stronger than him in that sense, not that his master ever probed against his shields. Detentions had been blocked when he was little. Now things like his marriage and his anger were blocked from him. His talks with Palpatine. But never had he ever blocked his entire mind off. He had just pushed his only flash light out of the darkness swirling around in his soul away. Even Padmé couldn't help, not because she couldn't, Anakin was certain she could but because he was scared to admit his feelings to anyone. He just couldn't. He didn't, wit Obi-Wan he did it through letting down certain wards when meditating, and they would discuss it all through meditation as well. He snuggled closer to Obi-Wan. His master. His teacher. His father. He would face the consequences in the morning he thought. Then he drifted off to sleep. They lay there, snoring. Together, master and apprentice wrapped up as equals.
Hello again there. So there was so much angst for Anakin over the past chapters I really wanted to end it on a highish not but also explore his relationship with Obi-Wan at the same time, as you can see it is already crumbling at the foundations and Obi-Wan and Anakin are desperatly trying to keep it together but by not talking to each other are seriously failing. Please let me know if I have gone out of character with any of them I really want to know. So hit that little button down there are please review
Thank you
Subaquakat