Author's Note: Laloga, as promised, here is your treat; another bit of Kase deliciousness. I hope you enjoy.

Flabbergasted

"The clankers never stood a chance." Wag drew one finger over his throat in an expansive gesture, making whirring sounds at the back of his throat like gears grinding to a painful stop. "We only had five loads of ammo left and we still greased the ground with their lube."

Jakk smiled, not so much impressed by the story, but rather by the enthusiasm with which Wag told it. The trooper was, in fact, in very real danger of upsetting his food tray with the wild gesticulations he used to punctuated every salient point. And they were popping up in this narrative like retail droids breaking cover.

Standing just behind Jakk in the line waiting to be served, Mekk piped up with one of his endless questions. "How can you take out two droid battalions with only five rounds left for the heavy cannons?"

Wag whirled on the other trooper and Jakk hastily reached out a hand to steady his tray, before the bowl of topato soup Wag had picked up a moment ago could go sailing through the entire mess hall.

"Are you calling me a liar, shiny?" Wag asked, chin thrust out in belligerent challenge.

Mekk, surprised at the attitude, took a startled step back, almost knocking over the tray of the trooper behind him.

But Ezec had fast reflexes and he managed to save his dinner from being smeared across his chest plate. He put a steadying hand on Mekk's shoulder, giving Wag a stern look. "How about you tone it down, Wag?"

Wag pulled a comical face and fell into an elaborate parade-rest, saluting at every other word. "Oh, sir. Yes, sir. Will do, sir."

Ezec, never one to have his leg pulled, merely rolled his eyes and steered Mekk past Jakk and Wag, cutting ahead of them in line.

Jakk sighed and took the tray away from Wag, deciding it was safer for all concerned if he carried both their trays. "Mekk didn't meant anything by it, Wag," he chided softly. "He's always asking questions, about anything that pops into his head."

Wag frowned, glaring at Mekk's and Ezec's backs. "And the long-necks let him get away with it? In my unit, if you asked too many questions, you got permanently promoted to the science wing."

Jakk flinched and hastily looked about the mess, hoping no one else from Elix Company had overheard Wag. Yes, sometimes Mekk's questions got a little annoying, but he was a good brother all around and well liked in the company. A comment like that was likely going to get Wag invited to the mats for a one-on-one.

Wag couldn't know that of course. He wasn't from Elix, but part of Flash Company. And like all of Flash, Wag was a veteran of several battles, not to mention Flash had been one of the first companies to be recruited for the 49th Blazer Corps, which allocated a special rank to all of its members. Elix - formerly F Company - was the newest addition and though their armor sported its own set of dings and scrapes now, that fact alone relegated Elix to the bottom of the battle group's hierarchy.

Still, hierarchy wouldn't protect Wag if someone took exception to his comments regarding Mekk, or any of Elix's members.

There were a few men from Jakk's company in line with them, waiting their turn to be served, but none appeared to be paying any particular attention to them. Jakk let out a relieved sigh, then grunted when a sharp elbow hit him in the ribs.

"Relax, shiny," Wag told him with a wink. "You'd think we were back on Kamino getting a prostate exam, the way you're looking over your shoulder."

"I think we're holding up the line," Jakk pointed out mildly, then winced once Wag's back was turned. He wanted to rub the growing sore spot on his ribs, but he still held both trays in his hands and Wag wasn't making any effort to retrieve his.

There were times, like now, when Jakk really didn't know whether or not he liked Wag. He was considered Flash Company's funny man, but Jakk rather thought some of Wag's jokes were more cruel than humorous. His wisecrack about Ezec's recent promotion was a good example. Ezec, dour even at the best of times, had been downright touchy since receiving his corporal stripes. Ezec simply didn't like the fact that he'd been advanced up the ranks because the recent deaths of seventeen of their brothers had created gaps in their company's chain of command and everyone understood his reservations; even Commander Gaff, who'd given him the promotion in the first place. Everyone, that was, except Wag, who, for reasons beyond Jakk, found Ezec's situation quite entertaining. Wag also tended to immediately dislike those who didn't share in his humor and again, Ezec was a perfect example. Which was probably why Wag seemed to be going out of his way to provoke the new corporal. And last but not least on the growing list of Wag's character flaws, there was the fact that Wag, like most of Commander Whynge's men from Flash Company, tended to treat rookies like their personal serving droids.

In light of all this, Jakk's squadmates found it difficult to understand why one of their own would want to spend any time with Wag outside of necessary duties.

Truth be told, Jakk liked the way Wag talked.

The man didn't talk like a clone, but like one of the people in the holobooks out of Stalwart's library, which Jakk was methodically delving in to.

"So anyway," Wag was back on track and loading the tray Jakk was holding for him with a bowl of sliced muja fruit and several thick slices of mealbread. "As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted: We had the droids on the run, the heavy cannons pounding the tinnies into the grime with a whang and Captain Tryer ordered us to..."

"Wag, don't."

Wag was so startled by the unexpected interruption he almost dropped the mug of caf he'd picked up from the counter.

Around them, other men waiting in line had noticed the slight commotion and there was a simultaneously indrawn breath from every last one of those belonging to Elix Company.

"Wag," Jakk said slowly. "Put. The caf. Down."

Wag frowned. "What's the matter with you, shiny? You look like General Grievous just walked over your grave."

"That's Captain Kase's caf," Jakk answered, gesturing with his elbow at the number 9770 - Kase's serial number - stenciled in white along the rim. "Put it back," he said again, more urgently this time. He'd hoped that the rank, if not the name, would impress Wag, but much to Jakk's dismay, his words seemed to have the exact opposite effect than intended.

"Oh? A captain's caf?" Wag looked at the mug with growing interest.

"Wag," Jakk tried to gently take the mug away from Wag, but was seriously handicapped by the two trays he was still holding, "don't."

"Better listen to him," a jeering voice called from further down the line. Jakk turned and saw Carry, tray in hand, watching the events avidly.

"Oh, let him drink it already!" Someone else from behind shouted - Jakk didn't recognize the trooper.

"Stop holding up the line!" Another voice called.

These shouts, whether encouraging or disparaging, seemed to make up Wag's mind. He threw Jakk a sly smile and took a long, luxurious swallow from the mug.

Jakk watched, wincing in sympathy as Wag first blanched, then scrunched up his face in pure disgust just before he spat the mouthful of caf halfway through the mess. There was a rousing cheer, along with exclamations of disgust and snickers throughout the mess hall.

"Urgh!" Wag was gagging, trying to rinse his mouth of the taste by wiping his tongue with a napkin. "Oh, that's disgusting."

"I tried to warn you," Jakk said meekly.

"He did!" Carry called from his spot further down the line. Jakk threw his fellow fire support trooper a quelling look - not that that ever stopped Carry. The trooper was grinning broadly enough to split his face in half.

Wag, thankfully, was still too busy trying to recover from his fatal tasting to notice Carry. "What's wrong with that man?" he demanded of Jakk, taking another napkin for his tongue. "That stuff has to be 90% pure sugar."

"Thirty-seven, to be exact," a crisp voice said.

Jakk - and every other man in the mess from Elix Company - snapped to attention, the rest of the troopers present only a split second behind them. Jakk, remembering he still held two food trays, managed not to add to the mess by saluting his captain.

Kase stood, hands folded neatly behind his back, to one side of the serving line, staring down dispassionately at the puddle that had been his special caf, before raising his eyes to look pointedly at the mug still in Wag's hand.

Caught in the act, Wag swallowed, then winced as the last lingering traces of Kase's caf slid down his throat.

"Sir..." Wag trailed off, obviously uncertain as to how to defend himself. Considering what he said next, Jakk rather wished that for once, Wag had kept his mouth shut. "How can you drink that stuff?"

Kase plucked the mug out of Wag's unresisting hand and stepped towards the serving counter. Every trooper in line made room for him as he handed the now half-empty mug back to the droid operating the perculators. "Another order 1-9770," he ordered the tinnie before turning his steely gaze on Wag.

"Sugar," Kase informed him in his usually pedantic manner, "is a soluble carbohydrate that includes glucose, fructose and galactose, which the body can use to generate short burst of energy. Through careful calculations, I have estimated that a 37% sugar ratio in a single mug of caf can provide me with enough energy to purge the last of the fatigue poisons from my system before the beginning of a shift and increase my awareness by a general 10% before the end of the first hour of every shift."

Kase raised his eyebrows, inclining his head slightly as was his habit when inviting questions.

Jakk shot a quick look at Wag, but Flash Company's funny man seemed to be at a loss for words. Jakk couldn't remember if Wag had ever met Captain Kase, but if not, then this was sure one hell of a fitting introduction.

The serving droid chirped and pushed one long, prehensile arm past the troopers and towards Kase. The captain took the steaming mug of caf and drank.

Wag shuddered.

"If you care to take up the practice and increase your awareness levels, Private," Kase told Wag, "then I advice you to reserve your own mug and have the maintenance staff program the droid with your orders accordingly. Sharing utensils and drink containers is against health regulations and the first step to spreading sickness aboard a ship."

Kase nodded to Jakk. "Trooper." Then he turned to leave, mug in hand.

"Sir?"

Jakk couldn't believe it. Wag was actually going to drag this interview out?

Kase turned back, a polite but otherwise stoic expression on his face. Jakk knew the captain well enough to know that he was probably mentally counting down the minutes to the start of his next shift.

"You have a question, Private?"

"Sir, why caf?" Wag pointed at the mug. "Why not simply drink a glucose pouch before the start of the shift?"

Had Jakk had a free hand at that moment, he would have introduced it to his forehead.

Behind him someone - Carry - turned a laugh into a cough.

Kase's face turned disapproving and his tone, when he answered, was strict and chiding. "Private, you should be aware that according to regulation 602.61 of the Standard Survival Kit Manual, glucose pouches, along with ration cubes and medkits, are classified as emergency supplies and as such to be treated with the proper deference. To drain our supplies to satisfy my requirements of working standards would be irresponsible and a misconduct by someone of my rank. Caf, on the other hand, is available in ample supply aboard any GAR cruiser, as well as containing stimulants that are classified as addictive, but not listed amongst the prohibited substances. I would suggest, Private Wag, that you re-familiarize yourself with the SSKM and will forward that suggest to your commanding officer."

At that, Wag started spluttering almost as badly as when he'd drank the caf.

Jakk, sensing Wag was about to add another foot to his grave, kicked the man to save him from himself.

Kase, who'd ignored the byplay and had started walking back to the mess exit, halted and turned around. "Another thing, Private," he said, pinning Wag with his most penetrating stare. "Caf has a long standing in naval and military tradition and it is considered improper for an officer not to have at least the occasional cup, no matter the officer's personal feelings concerning the beverage."

And with that, Kase took a last demonstrative sip of his sugared caf and left for his shift, leaving behind a mess full of troopers trying to bite back laughter and one very flabbergasted Wag, whose chin had dropped somewhere to the region of his bellybutton.

Jakk shook his head sadly and walked past Wag, cutting ahead in line and grabbing two mugs of unsugared caf. "I tried to warn you." Wag was not, as he'd previously thought, the only trooper in Blazer Corps who could talk a man into the ground.

"Would you stop with the chatter and get the line moving?" Someone shouted. "I'm starving here!"