Chapter 5

Kage and Hana

Shikamaru jolted out of a deep sleep, his shinobi senses kicking into high gear saying they weren't alone. He gripped Sakura's shirt under the hand still resting on her side and pulled her closer. Though, he noticed, she must have moved in her sleep as she was snuggled up against his body tightly with her head buried against his chest and her hand clutched into his shirt. He sighed, and propped himself up as far as he could go with her still attached to him and peered around the room. Nothing seemed out of place; at least nothing inside the apartment anyways. He then turned his gaze to the still open door across from them, the wind making the curtains flutter gently. He followed the movement of the fabric as the wind died down and the curtains once again settled against the wall.

'No, that wasn't what woke me. So then, what was?' He started to pull himself up further, determined to figure out what had disturbed him when a small whimper stops him. His gaze drifts back down to Sakura's resting face now scrunched up into a frown as she tried to get the warmth from his body back. A lopsided smile stretched across his face as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his thumb rubbing across her cheek tenderly. Her scrunched face smoothed out and a contented sigh escaped her lips as she snuggled back into a comfortable position.

A sharp crackling split the air and echoed through the open door snapping Shikamaru from his daze, his shinobi instincts kicking in to the possibility of danger. Slowly, as to not disturb her, he pried her fingers from his shirt, eyes darting back and forth for the source of the noise. In his mind was a niggling voice saying he was being overly cautious, but right then he didn't pay it any mind. Best to err on the side of caution and have it be nothing, than to dismiss it and have it be something dangerous.

He stealthily made his way to the wall beside the sliding glass doors and peered out through the curtains ruffling in the breeze. His shadow stretched along the ground, making its way out of the open door. Even though it was a full moon tonight his shadow still had a multitude darkness to latch onto, lengthening his reach.

Since becoming a Jounin, Shikamaru hadn't needed to make the hand signs to control his Shadow jutsu any longer. His father had showed him how to control it without his hands and of course a few secrets techniques only known to the Nara family. It was necessary to keep his hands free in case of attack, and in this instance he sent a silent thanks to his father as he slid a kunai out of his thigh holster. He had no clue what had made that sound, and with the way Sakura's emotional state was right now he wasn't about to expose her to unnecessary danger.

Observant chocolate eyes scrutinized every movement, every slight flicker, every nook and cranny that held secrets from his gaze. All the while his sentient shadow crept along steadily, smoothly, not drawing attention to its movements as it inspected the surroundings. His shadow, in essence, was an extension of himself. Sort of like an arm or leg, but it sent more information than just what it felt. Whatever his shadow touched he could feel, see, smell and analyze as if it were himself out there from a distance.

All emotion wiped clear from his features and mind in an instant. Hardwired training replaced all feeling. A skilled, well oiled machine stood in his place, his mind running through various scenarios of what it could be. Shikamaru was a brilliant strategist, so thinking was his forte, but he also had the skills in order to kill if he had to. He preferred to settle things with intelligence, but he also understood that not everything could be resolved that way, so each time he went into battle, every plan had a backup plan and means of escape if necessary.

Nothing would go unnoticed by his sharp gaze and shrewd intellect. It was no wonder that he was so damn good at shogi as he was constantly thinking at least five steps ahead of everything. A thin veneer of laziness obscured the true darkness underneath and that served him well. He was fiercely protective of the ones close to him and he used everything to his advantage in order to keep them safe.

He fingered the kunai and slipped a shuriken out of one of his many pockets, hefting the weight of the weapons in his hands. The sharp points of the deadly weapons digging into his flesh, contemplating the trajectory and distance between him and potential danger. A warm wind blew into the room making the curtains sway revealing more of the outside to his field of vision. His shadow had just made it to the trunk of the huge tree standing a few yards from Sakura's balcony, its dark tendrils curled up the rough bark, circling the huge trunk and spread along the limbs as it climbed. Shikamaru's muscles tensed as he spread his feet further apart, ready to jump out and send the projectiles flying at the slightest movement.

Just as the shadow encompassed the tree nearly halfway, it stalled, hesitating. The shadow user's brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to push it along. He wasn't out of range, not in the least. He no longer had the limitations he had as a chunin now that he was a jounin, so that wasn't it. So, what the hell was going on?

He pushed harder, sweat beating his forehead with the effort to get it to move again. With a start he stopped, realizing that not only could he not go any further, he couldn't retreat either. This was perplexing to say the least. It was almost as if...well as if it was….frozen? His eyes widened at the realization that it was someone interfering with his shadow, and his mind spun at the implications. Not many had the ability to be able to manipulate his shadow like a Nara could, in fact he could only think of a handful of people who could even come close to the chakra that was required in order to freeze it.

Mind made up to flush out the intruder, he pumped chakra into his legs and slid from his hiding spot to the open door. His movements a blur to the untrained eye as he sent the shuriken flying just three feet from where his shadow had been stopped. In a flurry of movement he almost missed, the leaves rustled violently as a dark shadow leapt from the tree and dashed across the rooftops, fading into the darkness from whence it came. Shikamaru, relaxed minutely as his shadow unfroze and moved to the spot the intruder occupied. He could feel the presence was gone and nothing remained, not even the faint traces of chakra and sighed as he put away the kunai and rubbed a hand down his face in frustration.

'Damn! How the hell had they bested my shadow?' No one but a Nara had the knowledge to do that, and he couldn't see one of his relatives messing with him like this. That wasn't in their repertoire. They weren't exactly known to play practical jokes on each other, and the animosity from the intruder pointed more towards hostility then good natured foolishness that his generation was known to engage in. He sighed again as a rustling brought his attention back to the prone figure stirring on the bed and he jerked his shadow back to his body in an instant and all wariness was swept from his features before a pair of emerald eyes locked onto him. He wouldn't give her anything else to worry over, besides he didn't have any idea as to who it was. But he was going to, make no mistake about that.

Shikamaru moved into the room and stood beside her bed watching as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stretched. Her actions brought a smile to his face.

'She really is quite adorable, almost like a little girl.'

"Whats wrong?" Her voice croaked out, brows scrunching in confusion.

His eyes searched hers for any indication that she had been aware of what happened.

Finding none his lip lifted in a small smirk. "Oh nothing, just a raccoon making noises the tree outside."

He paused, waiting to see if she would call him a liar, but relaxed as she seemed to brush it off.

"Sakura?" He waited till he got her full attention. "How are you doing?"

Sakura's POV

Her gaze swept along his body as he stood there patiently waiting for her response.

Sakura's gaze moved to the open door, noting the position of the moon and the darkness stretching across the balcony. She guessed she had been asleep for a few hours and tousled her sleep mussed hair only barely still in a ponytail, most had escaped and hung around her face haphazardly. She ran her fingers through the strands, grimacing when she came to various knots and tangles, knowing she was going to require a brush to get them all out. The tugging on the strands snapped something within her mind, freezing her body. She felt the fuzziness of the alcohol nothing more than a distant memory now, and she knew he had a hand in it.

Sakura knew he meant well but what he didn't realize was that she didn't want to be sober. She didn't want to have a clear mind, or a sharp steady gaze. No, she welcomed the thin fog of the alcohol dulling her senses and throwing her off balance.

Through that fog she didn't need to beat back the oppressive weight of her memories, the smell of the cologne that always made bile rise in her throat. The feel of roughened fingers gliding along her skin, the sound of heavy breathing echoing in her ears. She didn't want it... Instead Sakura embraced the darkness that threatened to overtake her with every cup of the burning liquid. Being blissfully unaware, with no care in the world was what that bottle promised. Not the blaring punch to the gut in your face reality was. Every damn day was a struggle to just remain upright, to keep her eyes open when all she wanted was to give into the fatigue. To just keep herself… breathing. To even dare to hope that with the next sunrise the pain would recede and the emptiness would be gone.

Sakura jolted as a bottle of water and some aspirin were held out to her.

'When had he left the room? Geez, Gai and Lee could sneak up on me right now and I would never notice.' She grimaced at the thought of a dynamic entry.

Grabbing the bottle and downing the aspirin, she watched as Shikamaru turned, probably preparing to leave for the rest of the night and her stomach dropped at the thought of being alone again. She reached out and snatched his wrist, his head snapped back to look at her.

"Stay... please," she whispered so low he almost didn't catch it.

He stood there, his gaze going between her grip on him and her eyes and contemplated for a minute, before nodding.

"If that is what you want Sakura, I'll stay as long as you wish."

Her lower lip trembled slightly as a shuddering sigh slipped out between her lips, almost like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. He sat on her side of the bed and tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes.

"I will be here whenever you need me Sakura," his eyes searching hers, silently telling her to trust in him. Seeing a small smile he smiled back and bumps his forehead against hers lightly.

"Now that that's settled, why don't you go take a shower hmm? You smell like a walking ashtray soaked in booze." He teased, his eyes dancing as he scrunched his nose for emphasis.

She glared, sticking her tongue out at him making him chuckle, before getting up, gathered some clean clothes and stumbled into the bathroom. She sighed and slumped back against the door as she heard him move towards the door.

"I'll go fix you some food Hana, so I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything. Yell and I'll come."

She paused at the familiar nickname and laughed softly. She hadn't heard that name in ages, not since the early years of the academy. He'd heard Ino proclaiming her as 'Forehead', and he'd known how self conscious she was so instead he called her Hana. Probably to get under the blondes skin and irritate her, those two were worse than siblings sometimes, but she figured he took great amusement in teasing her as well. It was really very sweet of him, in a weird way, even if it was spoken in front of a select few, they knew, and she'd bestowed her own on him as well. So for him to bring that up now showed he was trying to subtly be there for her, offering his comfort in a less obvious way.

"Ok, Kage." She paused with a small smile as she heard chuckle as he moved away from the door. She knew by his reaction that he knew she got it and thanked him in her own way.

She stripped out of her smoke drenched clothes, her nose wrinkled at the smells and turned on the water letting it warm up as she brushed her teeth trying to rid herself of the taste of alcohol. Her tired eyes stare back lifelessly in the mirror, the black circles under her eyes stood out like a flag against pale skin making her frown. Sakura's skin was almost always pale but she'd always had a healthy sheen to her making it glow like the very moon shined out of it. But the pale pallor of her skin made her grimace. Her gaze went up to her pink hair that currently resembled a rats nest and sighed, thinking it was more trouble than it was worth.

Over the months she'd let her appearance go, let her hair grow back out until it was past her shoulders, almost as long as it had been when she was a genin. Long hair was always such a pain in the ass to keep up with and she'd contemplated using a kunai again even if she would get a severe tongue lashing from Ino.

She just hadn't cared too much about her outward appearance and the fleeting thoughts that ran through her mind barely registered with a shrug before getting on with her day. Sakura just couldn't be bothered with frivolous things like makeup and making sure her hair was immaculate every second of the day. Her job was high stakes and she hadn't the time nor the patience to do something as shallow as worrying over her looks when someone was barely hanging onto life. So unless it was something like eating to replenish her chakra reserves she didn't worry too much over her own needs.

Stashing her toothbrush away she took her hair out of its holder and ran her fingers through her locks, trying to untangle the rats nest that had resembled a hairdo at some point in the evening. After much grumbling and muttered cursing she'd managed to at least tame it down along her back, enough at least to give it a good washing anyways. Steam had begun to fill the bathroom and she stepped into the shower and sighed contently as the hot water rolled down her tired shoulders. Her tense muscles relaxed as she turned around to wet her hair and reached for her shampoo. One of the few luxuries she still indulged in at this point, the fragrance of cool mint filled the shower stall and made her senses tingle with delight. It was a brand new scent from the same brand she'd used in her genin days, coincidentally the same kind Pakkun used. She snorted, thinking it ironic the little grumpy pug indulged in the same thing she did, her mind going back to when he'd said she smelled like him.

'Smelled like him indeed.' She grumbled, breaking into a small smile as pictures of the grouchy dog flitted through her mind. He'd been rather excited to learn they had that in common and even went as far as to swap tips on which shampoo was the best. Sakura laughed softly.

'I never thought I would have that sort of conversation with anyone much less a pug. Beauty tips with a dog, what's next?' She mused.

Her mind inadvertently switched to the pugs owner and briefly wondered how he was doing. He'd always gone on solo missions here and there, but he always managed to find a few missions for him and her to go on so they could try and stay close. Well as close as he'd let her anyways. The man valued his privacy and let no one in, guarding his life with the tenacity of a dog, pun intended.

He'd been the only one who hadn't left her to fend for herself. At first he had only focused on the boys and passed her over, but unbeknownst to her he'd kept an eye on her. One had left the village for revenge and the other had left to get stronger to bring the first home. Even though Sasuke had abandoned their village and consequently them, she still loved him, just not like everyone thought. He was part of Team 7 and they were the family that she held dear to her heart. She understood Naruto was getting stronger to bring the wayward ninja back for her and for him as well, but the fact remained that he hadn't thought to get stronger together. She had been left behind yet again.

She scoffed to herself thinking she should have been used to it by then since it happened frequently. She always seemed to be trailing behind them. Now that she'd grown up and reflected on her behavior over the years she felt foolish and ashamed. Sakura knew what she felt now wasn't love, no it was more like a crush, puppy love if you will. Now, she just wanted her family back, the one that replaced the one she had lost so suddenly.

Sakura leaned her forehead against the cool tiles, her hands gripped the slippery tiles in frustration, the telltale feeling of tears gathering in her weary eyes and let the hot water beat down her back. Long forgotten memories assaulted her senses, things buried so deep light hadn't touched them in two years. A muffled sob broke through her throat as she struggled to stay lucid and not be swept away into the dark recesses of her memories. But it was to no avail. Sakura no longer had any control as she was overcome with despair and anguish. She was no longer in the nice clean shower, she didn't smell the cool mint of her shampoo or the strawberry of her body wash. No, all she smelled at this moment was ash and a lot of it. It invaded her nose making her cough violently as she struggled to breath through the daunting images assaulting her vision. She no longer felt the hot water hitting her body, instead she felt the cold drizzle of the rain and the sense that she was left alone again.

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