Regrets

Chapter 6

Sakura's point of view

It was about two years ago now. She'd been gone on a month long mission escorting a wealthy client to god knows where. Sakura couldn't remember the details and normally that would be alarming since she had a remarkable memory concerning every little detail, especially since her mednin training required that type of vigilance. She could, however, remember coming home and feeling utterly exhausted, but at the same time relieved that she was home again, and she couldn't wait to see her parents. All the time she was away there was a feeling deep in her gut that something was wrong, something was off… something… bad. But she'd written it off as silly nonsense and threw herself into her mission so she could get home faster. But the longer she was away the harder it was to pay close attention to everything around her, which could be incredibly dangerous to someone in her profession. One misstep is all it took to make the difference between a mission done or having her name inscribed in stone. She preferred the former.

So the moment she stepped foot inside the village again she made a beeline for her parents home, not even bothering to stop by her apartment first. Maybe if she hadn't been in such a hurry she would've seen the sorrow on Izumo and Kotetsu's faces at the gate. She would've heard them trying desperately to tell her something as she rushed past… and maybe just maybe she would've been prepared.

But there was no such thing. Nothing could've prepared her for the sight she was met with.

By the surrounding areas she could see it had been an attack of some kind and it had been concentrated on her old neighborhood… mainly her parents house. The site seemed to be the epicenter of the chaos as it wasn't even a shell of a house anymore. Rubble, smoking, smoldering bits and pieces of her childhood scattered here and there. She couldn't do anything; couldn't breath, think, feel. Charred beams lay haphazardly against each other like grotesque pick up sticks. The carnage filled her gaze wherever she looked and had to swallow back the bile rising in her throat. The fire must have been strong; there was hardly anything left. Her mind kept supplying the images of what used to be her childhood home and she couldn't seem to wrap her mind around what she was seeing was supposed to be the same thing. Everything was gone, her first steps, where she had learned to ride her first bike, her first words, learned to bake with her mother, family dinners... nothing remained.

Sakura could feel the icy fingers creeping down her spine, her knees going weak no longer able to hold her weight. She slid to the ground landing hard on her knees, slumping forward to her hands as she dug her nails into the soil in desperation to feel something. To feel anything but this void of nothingness that was overwhelming her, threatening to suck her in and never let go. She could vaguely make out the voices of people around her saying something, possibly to her, maybe to each other about the spectacle she was making, but right now she could care less. She knew… she knew no one could have survived this.

A cold pit settled in her stomach; she was alone again, left behind to fend for herself. She pushed herself up to stare up at the sky, the rain pattering softly against her skin mixing with the tears running down her tired features. She no longer cared she was still dirty from her mission, or that her clothes were soaked clean through, or that she was most likely getting splinters in her knees from the wreckage. Sakura just couldn't bring herself to care anymore... The immense pressure surrounded her as the darkness pressed in on her and she couldn't take it anymore. Throwing her head back she let out a wail of grief and sorrow chilling those who heard it to the bone. Sakura put everything into that cry; all her pain and suffering. Her anguish of never seeing her family again, her regret of not being there when they needed her the most. Her shame of not reconciling with her mother before she left this world would forever haunt her. She couldn't go back this time, she would never see her mother smile again, nor hear her father lecture about his merchant business, or call her his Little Cherry Blossom.

She had been a daddy's girl through and through. Being the only child it was assumed she would take over the family business, but when she expressed interest in being a shinobi both her parents were astounded. Over time her father warmed to the idea and actually started supporting her decision, even telling her she would be a half owner to his merchant business. The other half would go to a cousin who would run it, but her mom was always against the idea of her running around "playing ninja" as she would say. Sakura knew her mom had always wanted her to be more girly and for a while she was while chasing after Sasuke as a genin. But over time that changed and she grew more independent, stronger and more free willed which thrilled her father to see she was growing up. But a rift had begun between her and her mother and they hadn't ever tried to patch things up between them, and now they never could.

Her wail tapered off to a pitiful sob, but the tears just kept coming, not showing any sign of stopping in the least. But she welcomed it… if at least to feel something other than the darkness around her, the silence of being left behind. A soft pressure to her shoulder alerted her to someone standing beside her. Thinking it was just a neighbor she was about to snap at them to leave her the hell alone when her emerald eyes landed on sky blue ones. Her eyes widened seeing the blonde she considered her closest friend Ino, standing next to her was Shikamaru and the ever present Choji. They were looking at her not in pity, but in understanding and sorrow. They knew how it felt to lose someone closest to them. They sympathized with her pain, but she couldn't stand to see it reflecting in their eyes, a mirror of her own eyes. So she turned away, closing her eyes, blocking out what she could not face any longer, but as she felt three hands descending on her shoulders she snapped them back open. All three han fallen to their knees around her and each had a hand on her.

To her right was Choji , to her left Shikamaru and to the back was Ino; all kneeling with her in the wreckage. Neither caring how they looked at all; all they knew was that a comrade needed them at that moment so they did what was necessary to be there for her at her darkest hour. Her eyes widened in shock as she felt Ino break down and throw her arms around Sakura, holding her tightly as the blonde's shoulders shook with every heart wrenching sob. She could feel the warmth from her body press against her back and the wetness of her tears against the back of her neck.

Sakura had cried so long and so hard that she had nothing left, but two tears managed to squeeze past and flowed down her cheeks at the touches of her friends, their selflessness, their honor of what she had lost. She felt a strong hand land on her shoulder and the trembling in that appendage said volumes to her as she noticed Choji crying silently. He was one of the strongest shinobi of their generation and it said a lot that he was showing emotions for her at that moment. Strong fingers laced through her left hand drawing her gaze to the raven haired young man beside her.

He wasn't touching her a lot, not like the other two, but what he did touch he put everything into. His unwavering gaze was staring not at the wreckage around them, nor at her, but at the horizon as the sun rose over the hills in the distance. His gaze flicked to hers for just an instant then back to the horizon, almost like he wanted her to see the dawn of a new day. To know that no matter what she would never be alone and the sun would always rise the next day. His hand squeezed hers gently, telling her without words that he would be there for her, to be her rock should she ever need one.

A light tapping on the bathroom door jolted her out of her memory. "Hana? You've been in there for an hour now so I'm sure you're clean enough. Come on out and eat so we can get you back to bed."

Had she really been in here for an hour? 'Geez, feels like I just got in here.'

"Alright, be out in a sec." She croaked out, wiping the tears from her face. But as she turned off the now freezing water and toweled off she knew he spoke the truth, he never lied to her. Never sugar coated anything; always told her what she needed to hear instead of babying her. No, babying her was Ino's job and Choji's as well. A slight smile broke over her features remembering that the big brawny Choji had picked her up into his arms and carried her to her apartment with Ino leading the way and Shikamaru bringing up the rear. No one said a thing; they didn't have to. Sakura remembered little of what happened after that except being laid on her bed and the boys being shooed out of the room as Ino bustled around her. The blonde busy-body flitting to and fro getting a towel and stripping Sakura of her wet clothes and drying her off. As Ino dressed her into her night clothes and tucked her in she whispered a small thank you to her, startling the blonde for a moment.

"I don't need your thanks Forehead," she replied softly, bending over and kissing said feature. But as she pulled back she locked her eyes on Sakura's again briefly. "We'll be strong when you cannot," she whispered.

"We'll be your rock when you need something to lean on," Choji joined in from the doorway as the two men filed back in and stopped near her bed, drawing the pinkettes gaze.

"And most importantly," Shikamaru stated. "We'll be your family," he replied threading his fingers through hers again. "So you'll never need to be alone again."

Dressed in one of Shikamaru's old shirts and a pair of Naruto's old boxers she exited the steamy bathroom intent on calming the rumbling in her belly and then collapsing back into a dreamless sleep. But even she knew she couldn't escape the nightmares for long. Nothing seemed to help; nothing that is unless she was safely tucked into the Shadow Users calming embrace. Only he seemed to keep the darkness at bay, which was ironic since he wielded the darkness as his weapon and armor.

AN:Super sorry it took me so long to update, but I've been really busy with other stuff. The holidays are always so nuts.

As always a thanks to my beta Kunoichi-Shea, for making sure my stuff makes sense, and a special thanks to my imouto Chained Princess.

She helps me more then even she thinks.

So this chapter is dedicated to you.

One of my secret little muses.

(¯`¥´¯`·.¸.:¨NIchiki ¨:.¸.·´¯`¥´¯)