The Jibbs Secret Santa Exchange Chapter 8: Merry Christmas, a ncis fanfic

This story is dedicated to Mrs. Scott 323! Hope you enjoy it. I know that I have personally loved all your stories, so I have a lot to live up to in writing this for you.

Merry Christmas!!!! From TVLadybug :)

Jethro Gibbs really didn't have any use for Christmas any more. He used to – Christmas used to have meaning and be an incredibly special time for him and his family. But that was rare since he lost the two most important women in his life – Shannon and Kelly, his first wife and daughter. After they were gone, the holiday just didn't hold as much joy for him as it used to. Usually he was just consumed with grief and thoughts of what he lost. Even his team did not crack the dim hold of the holidays, not even the reappearance of Jen. She was back in his life, but it was not the same. Christmas still held so much sadness for him.

Jethro did remember one year that was almost bearable. It was 1997 and he had a new partner – Jennifer Shephard. Even when he first met her, Jennifer did not fit. That year she was Jen. She was his probie – just learning the job. That year, he spent Christmas Eve and Christmas working a case with his team. Just thinking back on it made him smile a little. He remembered that she had mixed up the crime scene photos and was looking at everything flipped, which posed quite a problem when she was trying to figure out how the crime happened. When he went over and silently fixed her mistake, she looked up at him from her seat, her eyes so wide that he was sure they would come right out at him. She looked petrified, so he let her off without so much as a head-slap, knowing her apparent fear of him would be enough for now.

The next Christmas he remembers, was quite different, for a few reasons. Jen was now Jenny. Not at work – there she was still Jen, but at home, oh – that was something different. Now, instead of only seeing her in the context of a case, he got to see a whole new Jennifer – the one that silently had worked her way into his life and home. In one year, she had gone from his subordinate, to his lover, and to be honest, his friend. That is an honor that Jethro did not bestow on many, and it takes a lot to get that point. That year, they spent all day holed up in his basement. Well, most of it. As he thought back over the holiday, he also remembered some very, very special memories. Memories that still affected him in ways he was embarrassed about. They spent a slow morning in bed, and then after they had spent the day in the basement, they warmed up by a fire… and then spent a couple hours curled up in front of the fire, just enjoying each other.

Jethro tried to snap out of the memories – because he knew what was coming next. The year after Jenny. The year after she had been erased from his life. He'd had a long time with her – longer than other women. He generally did not let women truly into his life since Shannon, but with Jenny, it had been different. In those years, she had been fully integrated into his life. She was there long enough that when she was gone, there was a hole in him, and in his home. Some days Jethro almost wished he hadn't known what it was like to love and be with Jenny – that way he wouldn't feel this loss. But as soon as that thought entered his head, he quickly negated it. His life had taught him that he didn't always get to keep the good things in his life, but they still were priceless.

And now Jennifer Shephard – Jen, not Jenny, was back in his life. She had waltzed into NCIS a couple years ago, and settled herself back in – this time in charge. She was so different, but still so familiar. Jen had this air of confidence, but still… every now and then… he saw his old partner in there. Even though she had to take her stands against him, citing the fact that she had a whole agency to look after, if anyone ever dared to challenge him, she was behind him in full force. He liked to think that it wasn't only as a director, but as his partner. There was still something about working cases with her. When she tried to overstep her boundaries as Director of NCIS, he saw his old partner coming through. His personal hypothesis was that part of her still wanted to have that connection to him, and that she still wanted to have that agent side of her. As much as she protested, she loved to get into the grind of the cases, and always kept a hand in the day-to-day aspects of NCIS.

Unfortunately, Christmas was approaching fast, and it looked as if he would be alone again. Jethro made a pact with himself that year after Jenny left. He wasn't spending Christmas with anyone again. It just plain hurt too much after they left. And they always left, in one way or another, for one reason or another. And as strong as he was, as pulled together as he was, he was over it. He knew he couldn't handle, and quite frankly didn't want to handle, loosing anyone else from his Christmases. This is why even his team didn't get to spend Christmas with him. Cases didn't count – that was business. But personal was out. And it wasn't that he didn't get asked. Every year, it was always the same. Sly looks, pity in their eyes. Abby's invite to a party. Tony or Ziva wanting to get drinks. Ducky asking him to his house, or better yet, to visit with his mother. But every year the answer stayed the same.

Jethro didn't remember how it happened. He didn't remember how it could happen. After he was so adamant about his rule to keep Christmas all to himself, something had obviously changed his mind. He just couldn't remember for the life of him what. All Jethro knew at the moment was that this year he broke the pact. And all for the lovely red-head currently asleep in his arms. Jethro felt her breathing slowly as she lay there sleeping. And even though his right arm was falling asleep, he wouldn't move her for the world.

He just stared at her, aware that if she was awake, he would never be this honest. His eyes didn't hide the love he felt for her, and as strong as that was, he knew if she was looking back at him, he would shutter his feelings from her. Jethro looked at the red hair splayed across his arm and chest, and everything felt right with the world.

"Jethro. Jethro. JETHRO"

Gibbs almost fell out of his desk chair. His desk chair in the bullpen at NCIS. He looked around shaken and confused. Where was his soft bed, and where were the green eyes that were staring up at him full of mischief. Because the green eyes staring at him now were not happy and full of a secret between just the two of them. They were the very stern eyes of someone who only considered him her agent and they were certainly not looking at him full of the love and joy they were a few minutes ago.

"Jethro, are you okay?" Jen looked so confused standing there, and he knew he had to answer her or he would be facing a lot more questions.

"Um, yeah. Did you need something?"

"Just an update on your case, if you're done catching up on your sleep, Agent Gibbs. I trust you are still working on the case." At his look of frustration, she cut him off before he could say anything else. "Ignore that last dig Jethro. I'm sorry – you've been here for 3 days in a row. I haven't even seen you go home once. You are certainly entitled to at least a little rest, no matter how uncomfortable it looked. Take a minute, and meet me up in my office. I have coffee…"

And with that, Jen turned and went back up to her office. Jethro knew that she threw in the coffee comment so that he'd join her – knowing him, he would have ignored her request until the case was complete.

Jenny closed the door of her office, and leaned against it. What was it about this time of year that got her so worked up, especially where one agent was concerned. She had been snapping at him all week, and she knew it had to stop. Not because it was unkind, but because before long, Jethro was going to figure out that something was bothering her… and then he wouldn't give up until he discovered what it was. And that was a price she couldn't pay.

Because every time she looked at him, all she wanted to do was throw herself at him and try to recreate Christmas past.

As she was growing up, she never really had a wonderful holiday season. Her mother tried to make it joyous, but somehow, something always got in the way. And after her father died, she didn't really even try any more.

But in Jenny's mind, there were some shining Christmas moments that broke through. She remembered the year she was "stuck" on a case with Agent Gibbs. Oh goodness, that year she couldn't stop thinking about her boss as much more than a boss. It even got so bad that she was mixing up evidence and changing around crime scene information – all because her thoughts were consumed with the fantasy of her and Gibbs thrown across one of the desks, and doing very non-agenty activities.

And then there was the year after that – when her fantasies had come true. And Jethro and she were all-consumed with each other. It was so much better than her dreams had been, and she wanted it to never stop.

But then she made a mistake. The worse mistake she could have made. She left. She left him. She had her reasons, and they furthered her career to a place she couldn't have imagined, but that didn't change the facts. She left him. And she had regretted it ever since. And ever since she came back, all she wanted Jethro to say to her was…

"JEN. I've been calling your name for the past minute. Just where were you?"

"Umm." Jenny stumbled. "Uh, doesn't matter. What matters is Petty Officer Samson. Have you gotten any more leads on her case. This is hitting too close to home at the holidays. I'd really like to have her back to her husband and children by Christmas."

"Don't you think I want that too Jen? We are working around the clock to try to figure out who abducted her. Abby is still running some of the latest evidence we found and hopefully between her and McGee, they can give us another point of reference to go with. As soon as we get close, they seem to move her to a new location." As Jethro finished filling her in about the latest case that was keeping them buried under work, Jenny was impressed with the passion he was showing. She knew that all the agents in their field were not always this adamant about their work. Even through all the years he had worked on these cases, none of them ever got less important to him. Yet another reason why she still loved him…

"Jen, why are you still here? You know we can handle this without you. Go home, go to the Christmas Eve service, relax, and enjoy the holiday. This always seemed to be a very special holiday to you. So go – enjoy it." Just as Jenny was about to give her input on how he seemed to be dismissing her, his phone rang. As he answered "Gibbs," she knew he was out the door.

"I'll update you later Jen, if you need anything else."

And he was gone. Too late to even hear her protests that she wanted to be here, that she wanted to be involved. And even though she wouldn't say it out loud, she wanted to be with him. As she looked around her empty office, she noted with a half-smile that at least he took the large thermos of coffee with him as he rushed out the door. But then she took stock of her office. How bare the desk looked, without even a single photograph of family, her walls filled with plaques and awards, obviously an office of someone solely focused on their career. Even the meager Christmas decorations did nothing to change the fact that her office was all business. The hard truth was that she didn't want to just be focused on that – she wanted to have a life full of friends and family, but she still didn't want to give up her career either. Oh, a hard decision that she would put off yet another day. With that, she sank down into her chair and pulled over the top file from a pile about the fall over. If her agents were out working on Christmas Eve, then she could too.

Jethro pulled up to Jenny's house at close to 3:00 on Christmas morning. He knew that he should have driven home and gone to bed. He knew that a director of a federal agency didn't need to know that a case had wrapped up and turned out successfully. But somehow, his gut told him that this director did need to know. For some reason, she needed that. Disappointment filled him, as he stared at her dark house. Obviously she had gone to sleep, not needed to hear about the case as much as he thought.

As he pulled back out of her driveway, instead of heading home, he decided he'd just go ahead and finish up the paperwork at NCIS. That way he could send a notice to his agents not to come in. He told them as they finished up the case earlier to go on home, and deal with the details in the morning. Now he decided that he'd give them their Christmas presents in the form of a rare day off.

Jethro pulled into an empty spot and on autopilot went to his desk. He completed the case file within an hour, since on this rare case, Tony, Ziva, and McGee had seemed to keep up on their notes. Instead of putting it on Cynthia's desk, he figured he'd put it where Jen would see it as soon as she got in. He knew this was an important one for her, and was glad they found the Petty Officer in time to let Santa bring her home to her girls.

But as he stepped into her office, instead of finding things as they should be, empty and dark, he found the opposite. The Christmas tree was still lit up, as well as a lone lamp near Jen's sofa. Jenny was asleep on her sofa and she had a plethora of files around her. Most of them were signed off on, but it seemed that she still had a long way to go. She must have worked the whole time he was on the case, for she really had made a lot of progress. He glanced over at the file she was holding, and froze. It did not belong with the others. Instead of a current case that needed to be signed off on, it was an old case. Quite old in fact. And dated Christmas Eve of the first year she was an agent. As he realized that it was the case he had just been thinking of earlier today, he also realized that Jenny's eyes were open – and staring at him.

As he looked into her eyes, he saw Jenny. The Jenny that was always there for him as an agent. The Jenny that patched him up after a close-call with a knife. The Jenny that worked her way into his life all those years ago. The Jenny that made love to him so many nights when he needed to hold someone close. The Jenny that sparked such a fire in him that even after all these years, he still wanted her as badly as the first time he saw her. Jenny, his Jenny.

And as Jenny stared into his eyes, she saw them soften. She knew that this was the Jethro she fell in love with. He never really changed, but there was a distance since she returned, and she didn't know if she would ever be able to broach that distance. Tonight, on Christmas, it seemed that she was given the gift of a second chance with him. And she wasn't going to pass it up.

Before Jethro knew it, Jenny was in his arms, and it felt so right. He didn't have time to stop and examine it, didn't even know who made the first move, but all of the sudden they were kissing and it felt so good. He ran his arms up and down her back and she felt so natural there. And in the next few moments, as they re-united on the couch and floor in her office, the movements felt as if they were what he was always supposed to be doing. As they came together, he knew that this Christmas would be the one when he received a most special gift, and he would never let her go again.

He gazed at her pale skin and the speckling of tiny freckles all over her skin – in places that he should not know about as her subordinate. Her skin was glowing – he supposed it was the after effects of the night they had. And then he gazed into her eyes… that green got him every time. It was dark at times, and then when the sunlight caught her eyes, they always changed to an emerald. He loved staring into her eyes. As he realized this was no longer a dream, he knew he had a choice. And instead of closing her out, he let his guard down. Just for an instant. He wanted to see her reaction to all she could read in his eyes. She didn't say anything for a moment, and he wondered if once again he was going to be left alone on Christmas. He stared down into her eyes, with the sparkling lights of the tree reflecting in them, and knew he was taking a risk. But just as he was going to pull away, and find a way to recover his heart, Jenny answered his unspoken sentiment.

"I love you too Jethro. Merry Christmas."