Chaper 12
Well, with the cliffhanger I recently gave you, I'm sure you're wondering what happens next.
"We'd better get some sleep. I'm really tired after- um, er, everything."
Scourge looked uncomfortable, then meowed, "Okay."
I just realized what I said, and felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me. Are we supposed to, well, you know, lay down together? Or, just- ugh. I'm not gonna discuss this. "Scourge I'm gonna go... do something. I'll be right back, kay? Bye."
And at that, I padded off around the corner of the two-leg nest and ran to a puddle where I would go for a drink. I sat down and started beating myself up. Why did I have to say that? Oh, I'm tired, let's go to bed right after you just admitted that you love me. When I only met you a few moons ago. And sleep. Together. At night. In a dirty old two-leg peice of trash. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
I know I've said it before, but StarClan, I hate myself! I mean, nobody ever seemed to love me, nevermind like me. So, how would I know how to love someone?
After I bathed in self-pity and washed a bit of embarrasment out of my fur, taking forever, I got the guts to go back. (II've been trying to shorten my moody moments for you, dear reader, so what seems like five minutes, is usually half an hour or so.) By the time I had, the moon had risen in a clear sky, highlighting every star.
And Scourge.
He was laying down- asleep- in the tire. I knew the choice I had to make, because Scourge had set it up to be this way on purpose. Obviously.
Either I do love him or I don't. By that I mean, he's waiting on me to sleep next to him, making us, umm, together. Or I don't, and well, you get it.
The new thought of Scourge actually loving me brought up what I had always felt around him. When I looked into his eyes, when he was near. It was always there, but I just pushed it away and replaced it with mistrust. He killed a cat and was very, very scary sometimes, sure. But I had finnally accepted it.
I loved Scourge.