Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews and messages.
June
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Goodbye
Maura grabbed the muffin – observed it for a long moment – but finally put it back on the table. She wasn't hungry at all. As a matter of fact, she was everything but hungry. Nauseous, mostly. A lump had formed in her throat; a painful one. It didn't prevent her from breathing but it surely made her life hard.
Every single second that passed by.
"She will come back."
She had pronounced the words out loud as if to convince herself that it was what Margot would do. Because she had left. For the second time. She had gone back to France, just as planned.
"Of course."
Jane wasn't feeling any better than her wife. She had remained awfully quiet during their drive back from the airport, only nodding when Maura had suggested that they could stop for a coffee at some place.
Anything to avoid the emptiness of their Beacon Hill house, just like the first time they had taken Margot back to the airport after her stay in Boston. 5801 Pickney Street was not the same anymore. The house would be too quiet, too empty even if they knew that it wouldn't last.
"What do you want to do tomorrow?"
Maura's question was fair but Jane simply shrugged back.
She should go to work, no matter it was Sunday and she wasn't supposed to be there. At least she would feel busy and not as pointless as if she were staying home doing nothing but lamenting herself over Margot's absence.
The truth was that they had plenty of things to do. They wanted to paint new furniture – do some gardening – as well as attending a photography exhibition in Cambridge. Okay... This last point was on Maura's list but Jane didn't mind much. She had been told that there would be free food so it still was a win.
So they had things to do. She just didn't want to focus on any of them for the moment.
"Curl up in a ball – stay in bed – and eat smores while watching movies after movies...?" It wasn't necessarily what Jane really wanted but – all in all – it perfectly summed up her current state of mind.
"Oh. Jane, Maura... What a surprise!"
End of their depressing self-introspection.
They both looked up at the same time and froze. Leo. They had almost forgotten about him after he had broken up with Margot. They had apparently remained friends but Jane and Maura hadn't really had a chance to see him again.
Or at least not until now.
"Hey..." Jane stood up and shook his hand. "How are you?"
Maura repeated the gesture and invited him to sit down at their table. Out of politeness. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone; barely to Jane herself. Thankfully or not, Leo declined the offer. He motioned instead a group of students a bit further.
"I'm with friends so I can't stay but when I spotted you, I decided to come and say hello. How are you? We all miss Margot here."
"Ugh." Jane grabbed her coffee cup and nodded. "Same here, same here."
"I'm sure she was nonetheless glad to see her parents again. After all, they didn't visit her here at all and she only went back there for Christmas."
Jane was about to nod again when Leo's words hit her. She exchanged a confused look with Maura. What was going on? How was she supposed to interpret the statement?
"Her... Her parents...?" She certainly hadn't forgotten that apart from her so-called ex-husband, there was not a single parent supposed to wait for Margot in France.
Leo laughed - swept everything away with a gesture of the hand - then shook his head.
"C'mon, I'm not stupid. I know you're not her mothers. It's obvious. She probably wanted to impress me and all – which worked out – but the rest... Nah, it was just a game for me. I hope I didn't really put you in delicate situations. It wasn't intended. I was just having fun." Leo winked. "Well, I gotta go, now. Have a nice day and see you soon hopefully!"
Jane and Maura looked at him go away, completely taken aback by what he had just said. He had to be kidding. This couldn't be true.
"The fuck...?!"
One. Two. Three.
"Language, Jane. Language."
...
They came back home a few hours later just as the night was falling down over Boston. Not even the perspective to go to the restaurant had had the slightest influence on their mood. Nope. Nothing.
They only wanted to lock themselves in – maybe open a bottle of wine – then let the hours fly away in the warmth of a shared bath and yet Jane had the feeling that they would argue over the choice of the music. Anything but Yo-Yo Ma.
Please.
Maura turned the light on as she stepped into the lobby. Lost in her thoughts, she put the keys down on the console table and dropped her bag on the floor. Jane closed the door behind her and took off her jacket.
Back to the randomness of life. One more time. Or so.
"Oh my god!"
Maura's scream of surprise startled Jane who almost knocked over the console table. A hand on her heart, she stared at her wife as if she had lost her mind but finally froze as she came to realize why Maura had had such reaction.
A hundred purple and green balloons were floating up in the air - in the living-room - while a dozen of presents had been put on the coffee table. And nobody around to explain the scene.
"Please tell me a clown isn't about to show up." Jane's irony: extreme level.
She made her way to the coffee table – pushing away the balloons – and grabbed a large envelope that had been put down on top of the biggest presents.
"I didn't know that you suffered from coulrophobia." Maura had sat on the couch - quietly waiting for her wife to let her know about the contents of the envelope - but suddenly realized she was waiting for an explanation. Uncertain shrug. It was one of these delicate moments when she didn't know whether she had to apologize. "It is the phobia of clowns... As much as the term is of recent origin, the prefix coulro- may be an actual neologism derived from the ancient Greek word kōlobathristēs meaning "stilt-walker"..."
And enough.
"Alright...?" Jane opened the envelope and took a letter out of it. She immediately recognized the handwriting as being Margot's. Her curiosity piqued, she sat down next to her wife and began to read out loud. An unexpected missive was better than Maura going Wikipedia. Any time. "My sweet – dear – mothers..." Sigh. Eyeroll. "By the time you make your way through the living-room with some comment regarding clowns for Jane and Maura giving an academic explanation to it, I'll probably be somewhere above the Atlantic Ocean. France is calling me back, if only for a while. That doesn't mean I won't be the awesome godmother I promised to be. Now we know you got the green light for the adoption – in spite of a very rock n' roll first home visit – it's only a matter of time before a mini-Jane or a mini-Maura walks around this house and scares the hell out of Bass."
Maura gasped. Jane laughed. Different reactions to hide the very same feeling in the end: they were extremely touched. Too much, perhaps.
Jane resumed the reading.
"Anyway, as I still don't know whether you will have a girl or a boy... I chose gender neutral gifts – which I am sure you will both prefer – as well as not blue nor pink balloons. This is my way to say hi and welcome to the future child who will have the chance to call you both 'mom'. Or 'mommy'? And I know for a fact what I'm saying here. I'm not exaggerating. You two are the best thing that happened to me so far these past few years... You opened your arms to me and offered me a second family, on the other side of the 'pond'. Girl or boy, it's obvious you will be fantastic parents. Please accept these little presents. For her, for him. Still not thinking about twins? Too bad. And don't roll your eyes, Jane."
Maura chuckled. Margot definitely knew them way too well.
A bit upset by the oh so true remark, Jane sighed but focused back on the letter nonetheless. She had started it, she couldn't stop now. No matter she couldn't disagree more with the way Margot seemed to describe her in it.
"The next round of presents... I'll be here in person to give them to your little Rizzoli-Isles. I know it was my decision to come back to France and I do not regret it but I wish I could have been with you during this brand new adventure that has just begun. I wish you two the best; I always did and will always do. With love, Margot."
It is only when she stopped reading that Jane realized her hands were shaking. She looked down at her lap, swallowed hard. The silence was heavy, loud of emotions and intense feelings. She took a deep breath and dared a look at Maura.
She was crying.
No! Don't that, Maura. Please, don't cry.
Growl. Teeth clenched.
Eyeroll.
Take that as a homage, Margot!
Jane shook her head then tried to hold back her own tears. Snort.
"The French, I swear..."