The Way We Was

Chapter 4: Raging Thoughts

AN: I have a small note on the title of the story. The Way We Was is the title of an old Simpsons episode. It's the history of how Marge and Homer met and all that jazz. I figured it was a good title to this story. So the grammar error isn't an error; it's completely on purpose :) I promise.

I don't own Twilight. Dang, I could sooooooo be rich by now if I did. I also don't own The Simpsons.

BPOV

I'd only know Edward Mason for about a day, and I was already fairly sure that he was what I wanted. I couldn't be as sure about his feelings toward me, but I was going to hope. Hope was probably a bad idea, but I had a feeling saying that it would be okay to hope. It was plainly obvious to me that the electric current that was always so strong when we touched meant something.

As I gained control of my lungs I sat down on the small red couch in the sitting room. My father, I presume, had left the radio on again. I wasn't surprised that I didn't notice sooner. I wasn't exactly meticulous and pretty much the entire day I had been focused solely on Edward.

The sound coming from the radio seemed to interest Edward a bit. His eyes were locked on mine, but it his ears were tuned in to the radio.

"Since entering the war in April, the US still needs more troops." I didn't want to listen anymore. This whole Great War thing was depressing. It seemed like the entire world was mad at each other and to me that just wasn't right.

"I just turned 16 last month," Edward announced suddenly. At least, it seemed to be suddenly to me. "I told myself that I would fight for my country when I turn 17. But now. . . . I think I have reason not to." He looked at me as he said the last part.

"What reason is that?" He looked at me like he had already told me.

"You." Was he serious? Me?

"Wait--why me?" I didn't want him to go, but I couldn't see how I had changed his mind about something like going to war for his country.

"Bella, I've been watching you for weeks. I can't put my finger on it quite yet, but there's something about you that I just can't ignore. I wouldn't be able to leave you. Not even to defend this country," he said matter-of-factly.

My hoping from earlier was paying off nicely. I couldn't detect any insincerity in his voice or face, so I could only assume that he meant what he said. He didn't admit to having feelings for me; he admitted that he needed me, perhaps as much as I found myself needing him.

"I wouldn't want you to leave," I admitted to him. If he was going to tell me how he felt, then I should return the favour. I wanted to tell him anyway. I had a strange desire to want to tell him every secret I had, as irrational as that was.

"Well, then that settles it. I won't leave you."

"You have to go home some time, Edward," I reminded him. It didn't matter how little my parents were home. That didn't mean Edward could stay here, even though I wanted him to stay and never leave. That wasn't a rational thought at all. My thoughts were anything but possible at this point.

"I know. But when I do return to my house, just remember that I'll be seeing you in just two days." He was so reassuring. His calm passed through me and reminded me of a way to get by while I couldn't see him.

"When you're gone I can sing my lullaby. It will almost be like you're with me." It was very true. Edward created my lullaby, so it was almost the equivalent of having him with me if I sang it to myself. Although I was sure that Edward would make it sound much better if he were to sing it.

Almost as if he could read my mind he began to sing my lullaby to me. It was way better than the rendition I would've conjured up. I smiled and gently leaned into Edward on the couch. I could hear the steady rhythm of his heart beat in time to the song and I started to drift off to sleep.

I briefly felt Edward carry me upstairs and placing me in my bed. I was too tired to wonder how he knew where my bedroom was. I reveled in the touch between him and me. It was almost magical, especially when I was in a dream-like state. I could just barely hear him creep down the stairs and close the door to the house to go home. I missed him already.

As much as I wanted to have him stay with me, I knew it wasn't possible. But at least I was sound asleep when he left so I could have sweet dreams of him without hearing myself try to sing my lullaby. Instead it was his perfect voice that visited me in the night. That velvet smooth voice that could dazzle the breath out of me. I called out his name in the vain hope that he could hear me. It was wishful thinking, but I kept repeating his name over and over again, just as I had thought of doing earlier in the day. It felt good on my tongue.

"Edward. . . ."

Yes, Edward. He would star in my dreams for a long time to come. He was in every single one of them, every single night. He never left me, not even in my sleep. He really was quite the gentleman.

AN: I know it doesn't seem quite as long as it could be. But I'm drained. It's almost 5 am and I've been up since 9 am. After all of those lovely reviews and favourites I received it gave me this great motivation to write. It feels great! I should be able to sneak in at least one more update before Breaking Dawn lands in your capable hands. Happy reviewing :)

Oooh! Fun fact time! I actually know an Edward! But he doesn't like Twilight...however he does have green eyes and he almost has the same colour hair as our vampire Edward. I think it's funny because he hates the books so much.