Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Puss 'n Boots or Shrek. Or Code Geass…I just watched Episode One! It rox!

Today I bring you Sai's One-shot. A short crack-fic.

If you don't like crack…how did you make it this far?

And yay, The New Team 7 by Tsukiyomaru ran an ad for this story. Yay, thank you Tsukiyomaru!

Sai: Why does my writing style look a lot like yours? Only even crappier.

DtecnoKira: 'Cause I suck!

Sakura: Please review!

…….

Sai's Oneshot!.

Warning: Spoilers!

"What am I doing here?" Demanded Gaara. "I am the Kazekage, I have to do important things like...sign paperwork."

"You are here because you make babies cry and you scare little children," Sakura explained. "So that is why Kankuro and Temari hired us. So that we could teach you how to smile and be less emo."

"What's wrong with being emo?" Whimpered Gaara. "I like being emo. Emo is fun."

"There's nothing wrong with being emo," explained Naruto. "But we can't have too many character's being emo all at once or this becomes an emo show, and we all ready have Sasuke A.K.A. the Lord of Emo!"

"My brother murdered my family," whimpered Sasuke. "Be nice to me."

"Shut up emo-boy!" Ordered Naruto. He fought the urge to slam his foot into Sasuke's crotch and bring an end to the whining. Just what you'd expect from the ninja of total randomness, the one time he exercises self-restraint is at the exact moment he should give into temptation.

"All you have to do is turn up the corners of your lips like so," explained Sakura, giving a demonstration.

"It also helps if you show your teeth," Sasuke added. "It's really not that hard."

"Oh yeah? If it's so easy, why don't I ever see you smiling?" Gaara demanded.

"I don't wanna smile," growled Sasuke.

"Neither do I," retorted Gaara.

"Well too bad, you have to!" Said Sasuke.

"Says who?" Asked Gaara angrily. He shot the Leaf ninja a collective death glare.

"Duh," said Naruto. "We all ready told you. It was your brother and sister!"

"See, even dobe remembers!" Sasuke taunted.

Naruto once more fought the urge to attack Sasuke's groin.

"Remind me to kill them later," Gaara mumbled to himself.

"Now, we're going to begin your training," Sakura said happily. She pulled a cute cat out of thin air. It bore a slight resemblance to that adorable lovable kitty we all know as Puss 'n Boots from that movie Shrek.

Yes, this kitty was that cute. Seriously, who does not love Puss n' Boots? That cat is uber kawaii!

What are you looking at me like that for? It's true!

She was so cute it would make Orochimaru smile.

Gaara gave it an Itachi style death glare. He held out his arm, encrusting the cat in a shell of sand. "Sand Coff..."

Sakura bonked him on the head with a large wooden mallet! "What is wrong with you?" She screamed. Tears ran down her face. She picked up the cat, caressing her lovingly. Eww no… Quit it! This will not turn into a story about bestiality! What is wrong with you people?!

"Why would you want to hurt poor Aura-chan?" Asked a crying Sakura.

Don't ask me why she named the cat Aura. There must be a reason but I have no idea.

"Teme," growled Naruto. "You made Sakura cry!" Naruto fell down on all fours, entering his two-tailed state. "I'm going to kill you!"

Gaara crapped his pants.

Help he squealed, running left and right, dodging the angry jinchurriki.

Sasuke stepped in front of Naruto, "Mangekyo Sharingan."

As any one who knows the secret will tell you, it is possible to control the kyubii with the Mangekyo (unless I missunderstood something! Things get pretty damn confusing sometimes!)

Now, when Sasuke stepped in front of Naruto, he had planned to simply tell him to stop. Then for a second he felt like going Lelouch on Naruto's ass with an "I Sasuke order you to die," command. But he toned it down to, "dance like a ballerina."

So while Naruto was busy doing the ballet, Sakura focused on the mission at hand. "Here," she said, tugging at the corners of the Kazekage's mouth.

Though the sound was a bit muffled, it was easy to understand that Gaara was saying, "I am sooooo going to kill you."

"Fine," said Sakura. "You try it! On your own! No help!"

Gaara forced a smile; it was a hideous sight to behold.

Wait, apparently that's a cliché. My computer wants me to say: Gaara forced a smile; it was a remarkable sight. Doesn't really carry the same meaning does it? Whatever.

Anyway, I'm going with the original line, sorry for getting off topic.

Gaara forced a smile; it was a hideous sight to behold.

Somewhere, a baby started to cry.

The End

……..

'It's not the best,' thought Sai. 'But it will have to do for now. Perhaps with more practice I can write a better one. Or perhaps I simply need more sugar.'

………

"Yes, Kabuto, this story will work perfectly, submit it now."

Orochimaru laughed evilly.

……..

Naruto: Hey, why don't I get any stories in this chapter?

Sakura: And when will one of my SasuSaku's show up?

DtecnoKira: Just be patient you two. Anyway, sorry this chapter sucked. I honestly wanted to write a good crack fic, but it didn't come out that great. I'll try harder next time.

Sai: Please R&R

DtecnoKira: The next chapter is already done. I'll put it up sometime soon.