Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Warning: Manga Spoilers!

A/N: Jiraiya's story will be left up to your imagination. He is after all, a professional author. I could never write something as good as he could.

Please don't take the joke about reviews too seriously. It is just a joke and is in no way me begging for reviews.

Naruto: Yeah right, you're begging for them.

Sorry if Jiraiya's penname has been taken, I tried to come up with something that didn't seem likely to be in use. Same applies to the other penname.

And sorry to any OrochimaruxTsunade fans. I mean you no offense.

……

Jiraiya smiled as he read the review. He felt happy on the inside whenever he read a nice review that someone had written for one of his stories. A lot of thought went into each chapter and reviews are so nice. Getting reviews makes all authors happy. Really, really, really, happy. You have no idea how happy it makes people.

He had just posted the third chapter of his story an hour ago and he had already gotten eighteen reviews. He was one of those lucky authors with his own fan-base. It was probably due to his great writing skills, honed by his talents as a real author. Yes, he was really lucky to get so many reviews.

Nurse Ramen

I loved the way you conveyed the pain in Jiraiya's heart when Tsunade told him about her engagement. It brought tears to my eyes and I haven't been able to stop crying since. Tsunade and Jiraiya are perfect for each other. If only she could have realized it before it was too late. Please update soon, IMNDSannin .

...

IMNDSannin

Thanks for your review. I agree they are meant for each other. Hopefully she'll one day realize in her heart how much he cares for her.

Jiraiya sent his reply to Nurse Ramen. He took a moment to breath, and then started working on the twelfth chapter. He had already written chapters four through eleven, but hadn't put them up yet, deciding that one chapter every few days was enough.

He looked out of the window of the log cabin he had rented somewhere out in the woods. He was badly injured, but recovering. He wasn't ready to return to Konoha just yet, but he had sent a messenger frog. Unfortunately, he had no idea that the frog had been captured.

"I'm sorry, little froggy," whispered his captor. "But they cannot know Jiraiya is alive just yet. That would ruin my master's plan."

……………..

Tsunade was still in shock, unable to believe what she had read. She fell out of her chair, clutching her stomach in pain. She vomited onto the floor, struggling not to think of the things she had just read. 'It was horrible.'

Shizune couldn't believe a simple story could have such an impact on a person, so she decided to check it out herself. It didn't seem very long at all. 'This isn't so bad,' she thought, reading the first line. She sat in Tsunade's chair, reading on.

………………

Hinata sighed. 'Naruto would never fall in love with me that quickly,' she thought. 'Maybe I should write a chapter story. But I don't think I can. Well, there's no harm in trying.' Hinata racked her brain for ideas but couldn't come up with any. 'I'm hungry.' Hinata thought about it for a moment, and decided to head to Ichiraku for lunch.

………..

"Finally," whispered Naruto, unable to speak any louder. "We got them." He fell to his knees, exhausted.

"Let's get the money and buy a new computer," said Sasuke. "Naruto, look out!"

There was one cow left, and it was angry. It shot a giant lightning bolt at Naruto that would have surely killed him had Sasuke not pulled him out of the way.

'I'm sure we killed them all,' thought Sasuke. 'This is getting weirder and weirder. Killer ninja cows just don't make any sense, but killer ninja cows that come back to life? That just makes no sense!'

Little did the two ninja know, a shadowy figure was watching them both. "So," he whispered, "You've fallen into my trap. Let's see if you can escape."

……….

Naruto: Wait, so someone is out to get us?

Sasuke: Can't you just stick to the plot you wrote in the summary? The one about us writing fanfiction.

DtecnoKira: I thought this would make things more interesting!

……

"Damn it, stop laughing Shizune," moaned Tsunade. "It's not funny!"

"What are you talking about?" Asked Shizune, rolling on the floor laughing. "This is hilarious!"

"Shizune!"

………….

Choji's Story

"I do," they had both said, and Sasuke leaned in to kiss Sakura. They had been dating for two years before he had proposed and now here they were at their wedding. It was a joyous occasion, but that didn't stop the sadness in her heart.

Noticing the sadness welling in her eyes, Sai asked, "Is something wrong Ino?"He offered her a tissue.

"Its nothing," she said, taking the tissue, "I know I should be happy for them, but, I'm sad for me. Sakura is my best friend and she's marrying the man of her dreams. But I love him too, I always have. I knew my chances with him were over the second he asked her out, but that doesn't change the way my heart feels. I love him and I want him to be mine. Its stupid of me to be jealous, I know that, but still."

"It's not stupid," Sai told her. "It's human."

"But I'm supposed to be a ninja. We don't have emotions."

"Yes we do. Ninja are humans after all. Now, I won't tell you to cheer up, because that will happen when you're ready. For now, cry as much as you like until you're ready to move on. Then smile, because you're much more beautiful when you smile. And have faith that you'll find the one meant for you."

"Sai," she whispered. "Thank you."

"Besides," he said. "Sasuke has a small (bleep) anyway."

Ino laughed for the first time in months. "Do you really think there's someone out there who loves me?"

"I do," he answered.

Ino smiled, not understanding the true meaning behind his words.

The End

…….

"Looks like they're really dead this time," said Sasuke, kicking an immobile cow.

"They were tough," mumbled Naruto.

Their client walked up from behind the iron gate that kept the cows locked up. "That was impressive," he said, "You two deserve a reward." He handed them some extra money.

"Wow," said Naruto, "thank you. This is enough to buy three computers!"

The one who had been watching from afar smiled. "So you beat them. Good, if you were weak enough to die at the hands of my cows, you wouldn't deserve to be ninja. My plan is proceeding just as I hoped."

……

Hinata sat down and ordered a bowl of ramen. Ayame handed it to her with a smile. "I read your last fanfiction Hinata, it was pretty good," she said.

"Thank you," said Hinata.

"But when are you going to tell him how you really feel?" Ayame laughed when Hinata blushed.

"Some day."

……………

Orochimaru's Story

The battle was chaotic, Konoha had lost many troops. Tsunade and Jiraiya cowered in fear, not even they could do anything. The Iwagakure ninja had them outnumbered. "Somebody help!" Tsunade cried out.

Jiraiya passed out in a puddle of his own urine.

"Is there no one who can save us?" Asked Tsunade.

Konoha had lost all hope, until he appeared.

Orochimaru, the legendary hero of Konoha. He ran through enemy battalions of enemy shinobi, beheading them with his blade. He was handsome, even in battle. His muscular body and beautiful hair made him look like a Bishie God of Battle.

"It's Orochimaru-sama," Tsunade exclaimed in joy. "The legendary Bishie of Konoha has come to save us."

Orochimaru single-handedly defeated all the enemy troops, spilling a river of blood onto the battle grounds. But he emerged unharmed, his perfect good looks intact, his flawless body was completely unharmed.

"Please make me yours," pleaded Tsunade.

"Of course," said Orochimaru. "Because I am straight and definitely not gay."

And they made out on the spot.

The End

Please R&R

No flames, plz!

…….

Naruto: Wow, that was disturbing.

DtecnoKira: Yes it was. I think I threw up a little.

Sai: Expect to read the Akatsuki vs Cow Story Soon!

DtecnoKira: I wonder how long it will be.

As always, please review.

Be nice.

No flames.

Any suggestions?