Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Sorry its short--and lame. I did try my best, but I can't remember the name of their jutsu. Does anyone know a good website to check out?

God this is harder than I thought!

If anyone else wants to try their own version, you have my permission.

Sai: You have mine too! : )

……………………..

Sai's Story

Itachi tossed Naruto's limp body onto the cold floor and the ritual began. It took a while, but they were able to extract the kyuubi. The nine-tailed biju was sealed into the statue along with the other eight demons. Finally, the Akatsuki had succeeded in capturing them all.

"This calls for a celebration," said their ecstatic leader. In honor of Naruto's capture, they had all come together for the first time in so long, with no astral projection involved. This meant they could celebrate as a group.

"I know," Itachi squealed excitedly. "Let's all go out and get our hair done!"

"And we can get manicures too," suggested Deidara.

So the Konan, Pein, Itachi, Tobi, Deidara, Zetsu, and Kisame all happily skipped out of their hideout, forgetting to shut the door.

A hungry cow wandered in, looking for food.

Somehow the statue activated itself, sealing all nine biju within the cow. Perhaps fate was at play,.

Maybe the biju wanted revenge on the Akatsuki, and saw the cow as their chance.

This is where the fun begins.

……

The Akatsuki members returned. "Who left the door open?" Pein asked angrily.

Everyone pointed at Kisame.

"Don't look at me, Deidara was the last one out," Kisame said defensively. He pouted. "Why does everyone blame me for everything?" He whined.

"Shut up," moaned Itachi. "Why do you always whine so much? Its annoying, quit being a baby and grow up!"

"Uh-oh," said Zetsu upon noticing the statue. "Our biju are gone."

"What!?" Screamed Pein. "After all that hard work our biju are gone! Deidara I am so going to kill you."

"Where the hell did the biju go?" Asked Konan.

"Into the cow," Tobi answered.

"Tobi, don't be such a retard, un." Moaned Deidara. "Why the hell would the biju be sealed in a cow, un?"

"I don't think Tobi was being a retard," said Konan, pointing to the sealing.

There was the cow, looking very angry. It had already activated all nine of its inner demons, turning it into a cow shaped mass of chakra. It fell, squashing Zetsu and Konan immediately.

"Tobi is a good boooooooooooooy!" Screamed the masked Akatsuki member, fleeing the scene.

Deidara reached for some clay, but the cow was too fast, firing a mysterious dark liquid from its rear end. His aim was true and Deidara's hand mouth ended up swallowing something he wished it hadn't. I think it's safe to say this was not chocolate milk. (A/N It was liquid diarrhea! XD I'm so mean!)

"Mangekyo Sharingan!" Cried Itachi, staring the cow straight in the eyes. He attempted to control the biju, but this plan ended in failure when Itachi's was trapped in the cow's Genjutsu.

"What's going on?" He asked, but soon found out. He was not trapped in a Genjutsu of sight or sound….but of smell. "What is this horrible odor? It smells like…COW DOOKIES!"

Itachi fell on his knees, vomiting. 'This smell, it's too much.'

"Water Style: Eraser Rain!" Kisame had just perfected the new jutsu and decided to try it out here, but before he could complete it, a large hand made of chakra picked him up and repeatedly slammed him into the ceiling and floor. "Help, I'm being pwned by a hamburger!"

Deidara sent his little bomb birdies after the cow, but the cow expanded its chakra to detonate them.

Pein quickly formed a few seals and summoned his newest body, that which was formerly Jiraiya's. "Rasengan!" It called out, trying to attack the cow. But the animal was too fast, targeting Pein's real body with a well aimed head-butt to the groin.

"Not even I like this much pain," he moaned.

The cow crapped on the floor, this time it was solid poo, but it was huge poo. It just kept coming, slowly filling the room.

"Help," cried Pein, "I'm drowning." He began to seek into the massive pile of .

The cow dropped Kisame, hoping he too would drown, but Itachi and Kisame hitched a ride on Deidara's clay bird. "I'll try to wash the out of here," Kisame told the others. "Water Style: Tsunami no Jutsu!" He summoned a giant wave of sea water to try to wash the cow poop away.

"Fire Style," began Itachi. Deidara was the only one to realize the trouble they were in.

"Itachi, don't," he begged.

"Fireball Jutsu!"

Is anyone interested in a little science lesson?

Manure plus seawater begins the process of fermentation. This creates methane gas.

You do know what happens when you mix fire with gas, right?

The cow was the only one who survived.

Nations fell before the cow, who soon conquered the world and built his own village, Mirukugakure.

The End

………

Naruto: Well that story sucked.

Sakura: And it was short too.

DtecnoKira: Shut up or I'll write a HakuSaku lemon.

Sai: I thought you didn't like yuri.

DtecnoKira: Good one Sai! But we all know it isn't yuri, because Sakura is actually a guy!

Sakura: Take that back!

DtecnoKira: Time for a special things to look forward to section.

………………

Chapter Stories

Role Playing

More NaruHina

Lee's Oneshot

More appearances by that mysterious person who watched the cow fight.

See you later, please review!