A/N: Okay boys and girls, here it is. The post Fannies chapter of "Tonight's Top Ten" although, at the time of posting, it's actually mid Fannies. But meh, who cares, right? We all wanna laugh!
Disclaimer: "Late Show" is owed by Disney. "Kim Possible" is owned by World Wide Pants...wait, scratch that. Flip the owned properties. There ya go.
Special thanks to the following for their reviews: Captain IT, Mike Industries, storyreader51, acosta perez jose ramiro, Drakonis Aurous, Nftnat, Kwebs, kim's 1 fan, RonHeartbreaker, CajunBear73, BlazeStryker, and Mace Ecam.
David Letterman leaned forward on his desk, resting on his elbows. "Paul, as I'm sure you know, the Fannie awards are over for another year."
Paul Schaffer, the CBS Orchestra band leader, spoke into his microphone. "The sure are Dave, and what a show it was. Although none of my predictions came true."
"Well, sometimes that happens. I mean, you were way wrong on your Oscar predictions as well this year," Dave said.
"Yeah, well, you win some you lose some," Paul said.
"Just like several of our writers, huh? Anyways, since this was the 3rd Annual Fannie Awards, we thought we'd go a little crazy around here. Tonight, we have three, count 'em THREE of these things," Dave said then pulled off three cards from his desk.
"Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand are tonight's top ten lists!"
On a screen set up for the audience, A computer animation zipped by the numbers ten through one, which were decked up like award statues.
"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma: the first list of the night. Top ten things overheard at the Fannies." Dave said.
"I'm sure several things were overheard at the awards show," Paul said.
"And I'm sure you're right, Paul. But these were the top ten things overheard at the Fannies. And here to present tonight's list, ten Fannie nominees," Dave said and then stood up as ten Fannie nominees that were crazy enough to volunteer for such an item came out to the stage."
"Here we go. Again, top ten things overheard at the Fannies. Number ten. cpneb."
cpneb looked straight into the camera. "No, no. The grapes go in to the BACK of our limo…there ya go!"
"Number nine. Akinyi."
Akinyi stepped forward from the line. "Geez this dress is uncomfortable. Oh well, at least it's not as bad as Mace Ecam's…"
"Number eight. Slyrr."
Slyrr looked at the camera with his hands behind his back. "Is that Elliot Spitzer over there whispering something to Bonnie?"
"Number seven. Lxk."
Lxk moved forward to the camera. "Man, I really shouldn't have challenged Captain IT, Ran, and Double S to that beer drinking contest. My back teeth are floating"
"Number six, captainkodak1."
"Now to sell those pictures I took of Shego on ebay," the Captain said and then gave a wink.
"Number five, yvj."
Yvj walked up from the line and gave the camera a confusing look. "Could someone please explain to me why 'neb seems to have this grape fetish all of a sudden?"
"Number four, Allaine."
Allaine looked at the camera head on. "I paid Felix twenty bucks to give Motor Ed a flying moon. Best money I've ever spent."
"Number three, GhostWhiter."
"Now, Shego, I swear that that strap on your dress was loose before I sat down. Why…why are you glowing green like that?" GhostWhiter said to the camera with fear in his eyes.
"Number two, Zaratan."
Zaratan walked out closer to the audience. "Okay, we've had the Fannies, now will you please put down the pitchforks and torches?"
"And the number one thing over heard at the Fannies, Mace Ecam."
"Ran Hakubi paid me five dollars to put on a dress over at King in Yellow's awards. Sucker. I would have done it for three." Mace said and blew the camera a kiss.
The audience stood up from their seats and gave the authors who had come out a standing ovation. All of them bowed in unison then made their way back stage. Once they had left, Dave, who was also giving them a standing o, sat back down in his chair.
"Well, that was the first list, and our thanks to the authors who came out and helped us with it. Now let's move onto our second list. From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma: Top ten rejected Fannie awards," Dave said as he moved on to the next card on his desk.
"Yeah, I had heard that they added a couple of new awards this year," Paul said.
"Indeed they did. These are the ones that didn't quiet make the cut. Top ten rejected Fannie awards, number ten: Nicest Teeth."
"Number nine: Best use of shoe polish."
"Number eight: Cleanest underwear."
"Number seven: Baldest Author."
"Number six: Best use of Letterman in a story."
"Number five: Best Bucket List for a character."
"Number four: Hippest Homeboy in a story."
"Number three: Best homage to NASCAR."
"Number two: Greatest toilet paper mention."
"And the number one rejected Fannie award: Nicest roofing scene."
Once the list was done, Dave turned in his chair and flung the card out towards the fake backdrop of the New York skyline behind him. As it flew towards the backdrop, the sound of glass shattering played.
"Okay, moving on to our final list. This one was suggested by Mike Industries. From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma: Top ten places to keep your Fannie award," Dave said as he looked down at the card.
"Number ten: In the bathroom."
"Number nice: On top of the stove."
"Number eight: Behind the cereal."
"Number seven: In the back of the closet."
"Number six: In your gym bag."
"Number five: By your front door."
"Number four: Next to your grandma's false teeth."
"Number three: In storage."
"Number two: In the trash. (Oh, I'm sorry, that's someplace to keep your Daytime Emmy)."
"And the number one place to keep your Fannie: We'd tell you, but the censors would pull our show."
"There you have it ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Late Show history, a three-fer on the top ten lists. We'll be right back with John DiMaggio!" Dave said as the show cut away to commercial.
A/N: Well, well, well. A first in both Fanfic and Late Show history. A triple shot of top ten lists in one chapter. If you're reading this mid Fannies, hang in there, and Z will be back eventually. If you're reading this post Fannies, then my congrats to the winners, and I hope you enjoyed the list I presented during the Best Comedy award. And while I didn't win any awards, that doesn't mean I'm giving up. I'm just going to try harder.