Hey, I'm Deadpool Girl and I'm about to fight one of the toughest villains in the area with nothing but a sword, a pair of guns and a belly full of beef. I bet you are wondering how this came to pass.
Well It all started with a loving family, who with love and attention raised a wonderful child who lived a semi long life till we humans came along and butchered it and...
"I think they are more interested in the fight than the tragic life of slaughter for a cow"
"Mmm, Beef"
And yes I do have two voices in my head. Anyway enough narration, let's continue where we left off.
(o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o)
\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
"LEEEEEERRRRROYYYY JENKINS!"
Charging into a hailstorm of bullets wasn't the smartest thing to do, but when you have a handy healing factor it does help.
I could feel every single one of the bullets rip through my skin before it stiched itself back together.
Leaping forward into a stereotypical straight legged kick, I sored through the sky, my foot impacting into Lungs face with a sickening crack sending him flying back into another one of the gang members behind him causing both of them to topple to the floor.
Spinning around keeping up the momentum I flicked my sword upwards towards the arms of another one of the thugs shooting at me.
"WHY WONT YOU FUCKING DIE?!" someone screamed over the sound of gunfire.
"RUN AWAY!" another voice screamed
Before the delinquent in front of me collapsed from blood loss I kicked him hard in the chest knocking him back.
"Ooooooh shoot someone now"
"No show them you mastery of the arts of unarmed combat"
Ignoring the voices in my head for the time being, I turned and head-butted the closet ABB member.
As he dropped like a sack of potatoes, I grabbed his gun out of his hands and threw it at the head of the head the closest foe before spinning around and implanting my foot firmly in the head of the gang member who was sneaking up on my rear.
"Heh sneaking up on your rear"
"Oh be quiet"
Turning to the remaining thugs I started intimidatingly, not that they could see it, due to the mask and all.
"Now I know what you're thinking, Am I gonna dismember one of you or all of you. Now I haven't made my mind, but sometimes I lose myself in the thrill of the fight. So Im gonna ask you this once."
"Are you feeling lucky? Well, do ya Punks?"
Letting my words come to them for a second before I leapt forward and screamed "BOO!" at the top of my lungs only to be greeted by a high pitched scream and the sight of the gang members running into the distance.
"Oh and dont forget to call an ambulance for your friends here!" I yelled at their retreating backs.
Then I then felt my head catch on fire.
Turning around I saw Lung, up and covered in flames and scales starting to form on his face.
"You come here, beat my men and expect me to go down in a single hit! I AM GOING TO BURN YOU ALIVE" he roared in my direction.
"U mad Bro?"
And then with a roar, Lung charged. Not reacting fast enough, his fist clipped me sending me reeling into a bin. Getting back to my feet, I see that a bag near the top had a red towel sticking out of it.
Jumping out of the bin I yelled over to him.
"Man you hit like a five year old...on steroids...with super powers!"
As he charged again I lept to the side, swinging the red towel over his head.
"Olé!"
"WHY AREN'T YOU TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY" He roared again before charging at me again.
"This guy really has anger issues"
"I know a good shrink for that..."
Something about frustration and rage makes people forget they can throw fire...
Waiting till the last second, I leapt away dropping the towel, so it was caught on his head obscuring his vision and giving him no time to respond as he smashed into the metal dumpster right next to the wall.
As he attempted to get back to his feet, I kicked him sharply in the backside knocking him down again.
"Come on, you can get back up right.."
Before I could continue mocking him I was blasted back by a wall of fire as lung detonated himself like a human bomb.
flying backwards I smashed into the side of a building and flopped to the floor feeling the pain of every single rib breaking at once and all my organs being crushed.
Looking over at Lung, almost all his clothes had burned off, leaving just enough for him to be decent.
The only difference was his body was now covered in silver scales glowing in the fire covered himself.
"Now that is hot!"
"I thought we only liked girls?"
"Not like that...HES ON FIRE!"
"Will both of you shut up for a minute"
With a roar, I it felt like the ground was shaking beneath my feet.
Unfortunately for me this made everything around hard to see...Unfortunately for Lung he was standing out like a pork chop in a vegetarian buffet.
"You know, you should probably just finish this before he becomes a full dragon."
"Yeah, Bored now."
Sighing internally, I drew my guns and sprinted towards Lung.
The sound of my footstep on the road quickly caught his attention, and with a roar he blasted fire towards me.
dodging the projectile I started to fire both my guns at a small part of his chest near his stomach where his scales had not covered.
As my first gun ran out of ammo, I let it slide out of my hand as I reached into my pouch and pulled out a small explosive prepared by Bakuda earlier.
As I got into range, I slammed my hand into the quickly healing hole in his chest, just as his fist smashed me back.
For a second, Lung roared in victory before his entire body started to spark and spasm erratically. He finally slumped down, transforming back to human but remaining on fire.
"Well that was a shocking end to the battle."
"I am shocked how well it went"
"It should come as no shock to you"
Shaking my head at my internal monolog (and the dialog from the other two), I started to make my way back to my feet when a giant dark shape smashed me further along the road.
"WOOF"
Now everyone in the immediate area heard the sound of the angriest dog you would ever, except this wasn't a dog, it was more like a lizard crossed with a bear and mutant variation of a dog, But in this case, the sound of Taylor heard was the sound of the cutest little puppy she had ever seen.
"PUPPY!"
I screamed as I started to scratch its nose. It looked confused for a second, before I reached around and started doing the same it behind it's ear, I heard the lovely sound like a faint growling.
SO CUTE!
"Meh, women, am I right?'
"No, I think she's a special case"
"Did she just treat Bitch's dog like a puppy?" asked a voice behind the- OH I CAN'T FORGET YOU THAT EASILY! Give me a hug!
"And now she's hugging it, why do we always get the crazies?"
I then stepped away from the adorable cutie to point at the individual.
"I'll have you know, that I prefer skitzophrenic!"
"Does that count when the voices in your head are from another dimension?"
"Tattletale? Is this girl for real?" I looked to the other voice to see…
Oooo, he actually looks kind of cute in that biker leather.
"Ohhhhhh NO!"
"You're not allowed to date till you are lesbian young lady!"
"Oh come on! What are you? My male gay parents? shut up about my love life!" I hit the side of my head, "Besides, I'm already half way, what's wrong with that?"
Yup, you heard right, this Taylor is BI! Deal with it.
"Yeah… she's the real deal" I looked over to see a girl in a purple-
"SPANDEX!"
"NOW THAT is what I'm talking about!"
"I, uh" she looked a stumped and her eyes widened marginally, "Hello… my name is Tattletale"
"Uh, mine is Grue" the smexy guy called Grue then looked questionably at the spandex wearing one. "So what is yours then?"
"I AM THE HUMAN BUG ZAPPER...as you can see my demonstration there. My powers are so shocking they will make your hair stand on end!"
Pointing to Lung I waved my hands erratically.
"But we can't see his hair" the white faced one said.
"Thats not the point. My powers are so ELECTRONIC they will SHOCK everyones minds! All my enemies will blow a FUSE!"
And with that yell I just remembered the sacred rule of fighting. Never turn your back on fallen foes. for one of the gang members, slightly braver than the rest, managed to crawl towards a gun and fire a single shot. Right into my back.
(o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) P.O. V (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o)
\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ Change \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
Tattletale
"I AM THE HUMAN BUG ZAPPER...as you can see my demonstration there. My powers are so shocking they will make your hair stand on end!"
'Quite the ego on this girl' I thought as she blathered on about how awesome she was, looking at Lungs body I could make out the details.
Unconscious, taken heavy beaten, electrocuted into submission by Tinker device, shock grenade, only Tinker known to have specialty in bombs, Bakuda, has links with CHIMICHANGAS!
I growled internally as my power went loopy again, when I used it on or tried to indirectly get information about whoever this loudmouth was, it went nuts and fed me random snippets of info, was this an ability of hers?
Maybe it's temporary… if I just use it on her for a few seconds.
New to Cape business, first time out, attention lover and seeker,WORLD GREATEST DANCER. EVERYBODY DANCE NOW! Don't stop moving to the funky, funky beat.S club? REALLY? Better than your crap. HEY DONT MESS WITH C+C!
I blinked stupidly into the air for a second, was my power debating music preferences? The hell?!
Hey, I think someones listening in
Wha! Pervert!
I immediately cut my power before it could continue, I wasn't sure my sanity could keep up with it. I instead decided to focus on an interesting issue, Bitch, who wasn't looking so territorial against our new guest.
Likes that BOOBIES! likes her dogs even in altered form, thinks they're alright if she loves PUPPIES!, Thinks that them and GIVE ME DEM PANCAKES! can be friends.
Well… THAT was a bit of a surprise… wait, you mean we could have gotten another teammate if they simply shown an interest in her dogs?
Yup
Oh shut up.
"Hey, Tattle" I looked over to Grue, a glance confirmed that Regent was keeping the girl busy.
"What do you got on her?"
I frowned rather deeply, because for the first time, I could really say I had no clue at all.
"Uh… you see it's kind of complicated on my end"
"That's not the point!" We looked over to see Deadpool Girl, having loudly pronounced it before, having a heated argument with Regent, "My powers are so ELECTRONIC they will SHOCK everyones minds! All my enemies will blow a FUSE!"
BANG!
Then a gun went off and the girls body jerked to the side, a spurt of blood coming from her wound.
"ARRGH MY APPENDIX! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!" she screamed as she collapsed to the ground screaming in pain.
"JESUS!" Regent screamed as he jumped at the shooter with his scepter. One quick hit and a flash later and the thug was unconscious.
Uh… should I be worried?
TACO'S!
Yeah, that was some great help…
We stared at the fallen body… oh god.
"Isn't that ironic, the girl takes out Lung without a scratch and gets taken down by a lucky shot…" Regent comments as he walks back to us.
"Cough Cough"
"She's still alive!" Grue cried as he ran over to her.
Lifting her head slightly, he started to talk softly.
"Don't worry, we'll get you help. Tattletale! Phone an ambulance."
That's when the (insert way to describe girl here) started to cough violently.
"I feel cold" she rasped out. "Tell Bob he was always a good minion" More coughing. "And tell Weasel he really was my best friend" Violent coughing. "And tell Thor I really did find him attractive." Then she fell limp.
I… really didn't know what to say, I didn't really know her much… but…
"WAIT NEVER MIND I'M FINE!"
OH SON OF A BITCH! What the fuck was that?!
Incredibility supreme healing factor BITCH!
Okay, some progress… I guess?
"Ooooooo can you do me a favour!" she yelled while grabbing Grue and dragged him towards Lung, what is she doing?
#Selfie!
… please tell me you're joking?
When she had reached Lung, she pulled a phone out of nowhere and threw it over to Grue, she then pushed on his back (ignoring the fact he was on fire) and wrapped a hand around the back of his neck.
Then she huddled close into a buddy headlock, and her hand over his head in an obvious gesture of a pair of bunny ears.
It would be so funny if it weren't for the fact Lung would absolutely kill her if he ever saw this.
"Uh, say cheese?" Grue, completely at a loss to what's happening, nervously took the picture, Deadpool Girl then proceeded to let Lung drop back and let his head hit the floor painfully, and sprinted up to take the phone off him.
"Thanks, I'm just going to make this my PHO profile pic… alright, now to post this up... #Buddy-Lung, #He Was Easy… done!" she gave a thumbs up, "I like to see what Baka-Kuda will say about THIS little number!"
Then her phone rang instantly.
"HAH! That must be her now, hold on, got to take this…"
As she held the phone up to her ear, I tilted my head at a certain sound.
Motorcycle approaching, likely hero was called to investigate disturbance, Armsmaster.
"Shit… we have Armsmaster coming!" I looked over at the other one… naw, she can handle herself.
"What about-
I cut of Grue, "Believe me… it would just be easier to retreat for now, she can take care of herself, we need to go NOW!"
I hopped back on Bitches dogs and…
Oh for fucks…
"Bitch! We can talk to her later about her preference in canine, lets move!" the aggressive girl glared at me but made a gesture and the three dogs moved forward, sprinting back to the hideout.
"Oh come ON! Baka-Kuda, you can't say you aren't a little impressed?"
"-~-*I-*!"
Okay, okay GEEZ, I'm not going to die THAT easily, you should know! You tried a bunch of times!"
"...-[*/-?"
"Yeah, I'll be back in about twenty minutes, don't you worry~... love you too, goodbye!"
*bleep*
"Alright! Since we have a fire going, who's up for some s'mores!... guys? Hey, where did you go?"
(o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) P.O.V (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o) (o)
\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ Change \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
Armsmaster
I shifted my weight to the side in a sharp turn, speeding ahead towards the location that was reported to have seen Lung in the area fighting another cape.
It was likely they weren't doing well, luckily enough I don't see Lung flying over the rooftops on fire, but it might be only a matter of time, I reved the engine again and accelerated towards my destination.
Turning a final corner, I knew I was at the scene when I saw several ABB members on the ground, one missing his arms.
Getting my halberd into position, I continued forward, vigilantly looking for signs of life. I quickly noticed that there was almost no light in the area.
The odd fires scattering the area cast a flickering glow, making the whole situation seem even more eerie than it actually was.
Thats when I noticed it. One of the fires was bigger than at the others and there was a shadow standing over it.
Moving closer I realised that it was a body on fire... a body of someone I recognised.
Lung.
Moving fast towards the shadow I got ready for combat.
"Freeze and lay down any weapons and surrender".
"S'mores?"
Shocked at the random question I almost tripped backwards over my feet.
There, standing in a red and black bodysuit armed with two pistols and a pair of swords was a obviously teenage girl...toasting a marshmallow over the flaming body of Lung.
I was lost for words, it was one thing for a random hero to defeat Lung of all people, it's an entire other thing to be doing something this strange over his body.
"What… are you doing?"
"Making S'mores, you can't have a convenient lit fire without some marshmallows at hand" she then pulled back the stick and blew on the treat on the end, which I found strange since it wouldn't do much with a mask over her face.
"All done!" she cheerfully examined, and soon took out two biscuits of some kind and sandwiched them around the marshmallow, and then put it to her face.
…
"Hmmm, I might need to rethink this mask situation" she muttered to herself, pulling back her S'more to show a stained mouth.
"Then late reaction, like OMG! Armsmaster! You're like AWESOME!" She shrieked and such an irritating pitch that I was sure the recording devices in me helmet went on the fritz.
"Now that is done, you need to eat this!" she then held out the s'more she had just cooked.
"No"
"Oh COME ON! You have to tell me how it tastes! You can't leave a girl without her s'more goodness!"
I was suddenly reminded of Clockblocker, only ten times more energetic and a female. I sighed rather deeply at the thought, THAT was unhealthy thinking, and it would be unhealthy living if they were to ever meet.
…
It isn't MANDATORY to ask young aspiring heroes to join the Wards is it?
No, bad thoughts Colin, bad thoughts.
"What is your name? And also a rundown of your abilities if you will" a look into her powers would be useful.
"I have to repeat my awesome intro AGAIN?! So not cool…"
She cleared her throat.
"I AM THE INCREDIBLE-
"Name and powers only, without the embellishment" I added quickly, meeting Mouse Protector prepared me for something like this.
"Party-pooper" she mumbled, "I am Deadpool Girl, and I have powers that are so SHOCKING! That they will make your hair STAND ON END!"
I gave the best deadpan glare I could with my eyes covered by metal.
Although she is heavily hinting towards having the power to control electricity, I don't know whenever it is the truth or simply theatrics.
"What is your main Cape power" I bluntly ask.
"Geeze, nobody enjoys the effort I put into my work, why does it have to be the BORING explanation?" she grumbled for a second.
"I'll tell you what! I'll let you into the little secret if you promise to buy me a taco!"
"No" I immediately reply.
"Oh COME ON! One Taco? I know this great stand that sells them, and I could also introduce you to Samantha~! *Nudge Nudge* *Wink Wink*"
"... no"
"Ah! You hesitated, can't take it back!" She was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth.
"Anywho, I have to go back to Baka-Kuda, don't want to keep her waiting, if I'm late she might try to BLOW me up, HAHAHA, with her new bombs, not so hot when you explain it huh?"
I immediately readied my halberd, "You have relations with Bakuda?"
"She prefers Baka-Kuda… well, I can get that from the time she swapped my sweets for cherry bombs. Now THAT was a bad case of indigestion" she sighed happily, "She's gotten used to it, like a Kleptomaniac under parole in a shopping mall! Or an antisocial Tinker hero whose teammates keep him around because he's useful!"
I felt my brain sputter, did she just reference me in that last one.
"T-that doesn't matter, you have affiliations with the dangerous Tinker known as Bakuda, you will relinquish her location now!"
"Well, thanks for the chat Armsy, but I need to get going" she then pressed a button on her belt, "Hope I can get an autograph when I get some Armsmaster merchandise for it~"
I then got into a ready stance, my halberd aimed at her direction, "You are under arrest and shall cease any attempts to escape"
"Oh come on! I can get an Armsmaster mug or something! I don't have anything else... or could it be… you know that I'm wearing your brand of underwear?"
My brain stopped completely as she spoke in an embarrassed voice.
"Well… I suppose if you really must…" she then put her hands to her belt and-
"NO! Don't do that!" I swung my head in the other direction to avoid the possible sight being recorded on my tapes.
ZOOOP
…
I looked back, and was confronted by an empty road full of gangsters, but no young vigilante.
Teleportation… that belt did look rather like Tinker-tech…
"Urrrgggg…" I looked down at the sight of Lung, who was blearily waking up.
With no small amount of malice, I swapped the blade of my weapon with the specially engineered tranquilisers I had prepared for such an occasion, and stabbed it into his back.
And stabbed again just to be sure…
And once more because I felt like it.
Alright… deleting that moment from the video… and done, if Assault ever caught wind of this…
I then called in retrieval and made my way back to HQ, with thoughts of anger directed towards a certain red costumed villain...