Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Unbetaed. I'm probably in the market for a new Beta.
XXX
"I'm going to kill that bastard when I see him Arata. I swear it I'll paint the walls with his blood, that fucking piece of ratshit."
Stifling a sigh Hinata shut her eyes for a moment trying not to spontaneously burst into tears or start ripping out her hair. The lack of sleep and the piercing headache that had made a sudden reappearance was threatening her tenuous grip on her emotions. She really didn't have the mental and emotional capacity to pacify Suzumi who was absolutely livid and foaming at the mouth, but as much as Hinata had changed there was very little chance she was going to hang up before she had assured that Suzumi wasn't going to run over Gaara with her Jag.
"Suzumi-san please, calm down. I'm sure Gaara has a good explanation for not showing up. I know there were a few mishaps with the project that's probably why he couldn't make it." And why he didn't bother to call and why he'd broken his off their fifth engagement in the last 2 months.
It was getting harder and harder to make up excuses for him and his behaviour and she really did understand and empathize with Suzumi's frustration, but there was very little she could do. Gaara was devoted to his job, his personal involvement in every construction of his architectural designs meant that he wouldn't leave if things weren't going smoothly, he'd stay there all night if he to in order to find a solution. Coupled with his lack of tolerance for social gatherings and his blatant disdain for high society he made very little effort to participate in their soirees if it could be avoided.
However, this time he'd skipped out on a cocktail party hosted by Suzumi's family and that had made his transgression even more unforgivable in Suzumi's eyes who had been counting on the redhead's support to withstand her family's disapproval over her choice of partner. A man who they barely tolerated thanks only in part to his family name, money and his obvious creative brilliance. His overall demeanor and lack of effort to fit in and conform to their standards had made him an undesirable in their eyes and Suzumi continued to fend off pressure from the Takarada family to reconsider her relationship with Gaara.
Hinata honestly didn't know how to council the distressed beauty, her family's disapproval was a recurring issue in their relationship and while she applauded Suzumi for standing up to her family, Gaara's lack of support was undermining any headway she made with her family.
"Arata I'm frustrated and I'm so god damn furious with him I could wring his neck, but most of all I'm just tired and hurt because I don't know how long again I can take this kind of humiliation and disappointment. Do you know how foolish I felt making excuses for him again in front of my parents when he couldn't even bother to pick up the blasted phone and tell me something?" Suzumi voice was laced with sadness and anger.
Hinata didn't know what words she could offer to comfort her disheartened friend.
"God knows I wonder if he ever stops to consider what it does to me every time he abandons our plans. Does he even really care me about if he can't find the effort to at least try for my sake?" she wondered aloud, a brittle touch in her words.
"Oh Suzumi-san he cares for you, I know he does. Please don't doubt that", but Hinata could tell her words fell flat. The redhead's actions had belied any consolation her words might have offered.
"Arata you and I both know I don't come very high in Garaa's list of priorities, hell the man never even told me he loved me" sighing she continued, "I know who he is and what he's like and I'm not expecting flowery grandiose declarations of his undying love and affection, but would it be so remiss of me to ask for some shred proof that he gives a fuck?"
"Suzumi-san I- I don't know what I can say or if there's anything I can do but please don't give up on your relationship. He needs you, I know he doesn't express himself well, but having you in his life has done so much good for him. You challenge him, you inspire him, you make him happy", Hinata pleaded willing the older woman to hear the truth, the sincerity in her voice, to rekindle her faith in the redhead.
"I wish I could take your words to heart, but he's going to have to prove it himself because I won't be standing in the wings any longer waiting for him to acknowledge that I warrant some respect and consideration from him at the very least."
With those last words Suzumi bid her goodbye and hung up.
Resting her head against the cool pane of glass providing a view of the glorious sunset setting the sky afire in splashes of bold red, orange and soft pink Hinata tried not to let her troubles overwhelm her. She wished there was some way she could erase the misunderstanding and tensions between Gaara and Suzumi, that she make them say to each other the things they expressed in confidence to her.
Ever since their initial meeting at the city council's gala Gaara and Suzumi had been constantly drawn together like magnets, though it wasn't so much as a smooth attraction as a head on collision. They were perpetually butting heads, two stubborn individuals who each refused to give in or compromise, but somehow the flame of passion and the undeniable connection between them kept them together despite their now infamous blowouts that Hinara somehow always ended up in the crossfire of, ensuring that there weren't any causalities though she knew one these days they were probably going to kill each other when her back was turned.
Despite the tumultuous nature of their relationship Hinata knew that no one could be a better match for each other than those two. They were constantly challenging each other, their debates and discussions could carry on well until the wee hours of the morning. Suzumi admired and appreciated Gaara's work on a level she and Temari couldn't possibly relate to and Hinata was grateful that the redhead had someone who he could share his life's passion with and who stimulated his mind and forced him to withdrawn from his solitude, but it still didn't make up for that sad truth that Gaara had been taking Suzumi for granted.
Hinata didn't want to play mediator between them, she wished she didn't have to intervene and they could work it out themselves, but they were both just so stubborn and it seemed like they deliberately misunderstood each other which turned little spats into a civil war. Suzumi didn't know how to back down, once she got riled up she came at Gaara with all guns blazing and she refused to let any weakness show. Gaara reacted just as fiercely his acerbic tongue and derisive attitude was like pouring gasoline on a flame, from there everything spiraled out of control. It seemed like a candid, heartfelt conversation between those two was like asking a 5-year old to solve a quadratic equation, a very unlikely possibility.
She knew Gaara would be calling her eventually and she didn't relish their impending conversation, but things were going downhill fast and Hinata needed him to make a decision, else he and Suzumi would end up hating each other if they couldn't resolve their conflict.
Pulling herself from her introspection Hinata realized the full extent of her weariness and decided the likelihood of anyone calling to disturb her for the rest of the night was slim so she allowed herself to relax and tried her utmost not to dwell on her tasks at work or the hectic schedule for the next couple weeks and most of all she turned her thoughts away from Gaara and his relationship issues. She could deal with those things tomorrow, but right now a warm, scented bath was in order, along with a cup of tea to sooth her nerves before she could put herself to bed at last. She hadn't slept a wink in almost two days and her stress levels had been elevated for even longer.
Hinata had almost fallen asleep during her bath, she only manged to realize her folly once the water had become tepid. So with the last of her energy she focused on getting out of the tub, removing the plug with her toes before she grabbed her towel shivering as she rose out of the now cool water. Drying her skin Hinata pulled on one of Sasuke's shirts that she had taken when she'd left. The fabric had long since lost the scent of its original owner and the fibres were soft and worn from numerous washings, but right now he needed the comfort it provided. Being draped in the overly large garment allowed her to feel the tiniest bit closer to him, though after all that had transpired and the decisions that had been made she had to reconcile with the inescapable knowledge that he was lost to her.
Despite her melancholy train of thought Hinata still sighed in pleasure at the prospect of finally being able to sleep in her own bed after weeks holed up in hotel rooms. She drew the covers over herself, having already drawn the blinds and snuggled her feathered pillow closer feeling her eyelids becoming heavy and her mind drift into the awaiting embrace of sleep.
It felt as though her eyes had only closed mere seconds ago before the shrill ringing of her phone jerked her consciousness out of the depths of sleep and she frantically lunged for her buzzing device residing on her bedside table groaning in dismay at the familiar name displayed on the caller id.
This couldn't possibly be happening now.
Hinata couldn't express just how overwhelmed and tired and absolutely frustrated she felt in that moment, she could have come undone right then and there the burning sensation at the corner of her eyes signaled the dam she was keeping at bay with every last bit of her reserve. Every instinct in her was screaming to switch off the phone, to ignore the call, to hurl the mobile as far away as physically possible. And she very nearly gave in, but in the end she couldn't do it and fully knowing she would regret her decision as every cursed minute she spent awake dragged on Hinata postponed sleep once more pressing the "answer" option.
"Yes," she sighed softly too resigned and weary to give a proper greeting.
"She called already I take it," the redhead hissed, the annoyance and ire in his voice evident.
In a last ditch effort to preserve the cloudy feeling lingering in her mind she asked, "Gaara-san could we talk about this tomorrow. I think it would be best to discuss this with a clear, levelheaded in the morning."
Her words made little impact for he continued on unfazed by her sincere plea, "Tell me what she said."
"If you mean Suzumi-san then yes, she did call me earlier. You failed to show up at another party Gaara, a party her family was hosting and you didn't have the courteous to call and warn her you couldn't make it until you were two hours late," Hinata rebuked him knowing that Suzumi's side of the story was not improbable.
Groaning back, she could picture him gritting his teeth scowling fiercely on the other end as he retorted, "There was an emergency regarding the plans for the hotel, surely you must have heard about it. They needed me at the office, I could not have gone off to a party of all things knowing that. You cannot blame me for doing my job Arata, you especially understand how important this contract is to the company."
"I do Gaara, of course I do, but you could have sacrified a couple hours of your time to show your support and attend for Suzumi's sake. I fthigs had been that desperate you have let me handle it. I would have hopped on the next plane to Hong Kong, you could have made an excuse, you could have done something, anything to show her that you cared. Gaara, you have to place some of your priority on your relationship with Suzumi-san or you will lose her."
Her voice almost cracked as she chocked back a rising sob of complete frustration at these roundabout arguments she held with him time again. Hinata just wanted him to be happy she wanted him to take hold of what was right in front of him, to stop putting up walls between himself and this amazing woman in his life who continued to hold out for him to show the same level of commitment and resolve to making their relationship work.
Hinata continued to entreat him, "It isn't just this party, the two of you refuse to compromise or even communicate freely with each other. I think I know more about your relationship with each other than either of you do! I can't keep mediating the disagreements between you two and patching up the holes in your relationship. You and Suzumi have to decide whether or not you want to be in this together or if it's better for you both to be apart. You have to want this Gaara and stop running away, talk to her, make her listen to you."
"And what would you have me do then? She isn't you Arata, Suzumi wants me to be someone I am not. She wills me to escort her to these insipid functions and make nice with her family who are all conceited snobs with more money than sense, preoccupied with appearances and social standing as though I give a shit what those pompous fucks think of me," his voice low and gravelly though no less forceful.
"Your relationship is based on more than that", she countered, "she's also had to deal with your prickly exterior and your extreme habits and workaholic tendencies and yet you are still together. A relationship takes compromise and sacrifice. You are not an easy man to love Gaara, but I know she does. Can't you make a move to bridge the gap between you both? You hold yourself distant from her, refusing to commit you can't possibly deny it when it is as plain as daylight", Hinata tried to reason with him to give him the incentive, the determination to save his deteriorating relationship.
"And why do you think that is, Arata? Why do you think we are still together if not for your insufferable meddling? You should stop being concerned with my love life and pay attention to the miserable state of your own. After all this time you're the one still pining pitfully over a man who left your heart in ruins. I do not need you or your advice nor have I ever asked you to save my relationship or counsel my girlfriend. This is my business, Arata and it would be best for everyone if you stayed out of it from now on. Focus instead on fixing you own pathetic state of affairs before trying to intervene with mine."
The wounds his words inflicted on her now devastated bleeding heart drove her to fumble with the flimsy device stabbing at the screen to end the call to stop him from brutalizing her any further, tossing it across to the other side of her room as she pressed her fingers to her mouth as though to block the broken cries gathering in her throat fighting to be heard.
The tears came unbidden leaving silent wet trails for the rest to follow, her body trembled and shook as her mind desperately fought to tear itself from the clutches of despair fleeing into a numb reprieve as the emotional turmoil wrecked havoc on the precious self-esteem she had built now being swamped once more by her self-loathing and the tidal wave of old fears and dormant insecurities as looming and as fresh as the day they had been born.
It felt as though the life she had built for herself in Suna was crumbling to her feet and she was struggling to find purchase on a ground that no longer held firm as though her entire world had shifted because of that one call, because of those terrible, hurtful words that pierced her flesh like barbed arrows.
How could this have happened?
Gaara had never once spoken as harshly and cruelly as he did to her only moments before.
What did this mean for her friendship with him and even greater, her future in Suna?
XXX
Lounging in bed with the sheets tangled around his nude form he didn't bother to stifle the jaw-breaking yawn that overcame him though he fought the urge to give in to his body's signal for sleep. Sex always made him want to take a nap afterwards but, being awoken by a pissed off blond pelting stuffed pillows at his head if he were lucky was something he'd rather avoid.
So he continued to fight off the siren call of sleep and dredged up his remnants of energy as he trekked into the kitchen stopping briefly though to make the effort to pick his boxers off the floor and put them on. While being a spitfire in the sack Temari made a big fuss about his naked ass being on display calling him out on another sign of his trademark lazy habits.
To be honest if it weren't for social conventions he probably wouldn't bother to wear clothes around the house ever, it was just added laundry that needed to get done at the end of the week which was frankly a fucking pain even if he drew the line at putting on smelly shorts.
Staring at the now open refrigerator Shikamaru debated whether or not he could get away with drinking straight out of the carton. If she caught him he'd probably get a smack on the head, but she had just started showering she had another 10 minutes before she'd be out so he figured there was limited risk in getting caught this time and began chugging back the carton of orange juice when Temari's phone began blaring some god awful rock song disturbing the peace.
Even with the bathroom being down the hall and behind closed doors with the shower on full blast he could hear her shouting.
"Answer the blasted phone Nara!"
Temari knew exactly how loud her voice was, he wasn't going to get away with saying he didn't hear her so with a muttered curse he reached across the counter digging through her handbag before retrieving the infernal device.
Glancing at the lit up screen he saw the picture of a smiling woman with the caller id flashing the name "Nakamura Arata" across the display, the image immediately catching his notice.
Not a moment later did his brain follow along the triggered neural pathways to dredge up any available information on the caller's name. Nakamura-san he then recalled was Temari's right-hand at the firm though he had never spoken to the woman. On more than one occasion he had encountered the blond engaged in conversation over the phone, most often the subject revolved around Temari's surly younger brother, Gaara.
However, this was the first time he had placed a face to match the name of a woman who was an integral part of Temari's life. Someone he had never given a second thought, but who could possibly be the answer to an ongoing search that had left him without any leads in recent months and had yielded no new information for his troubled employer.
Even with the difference in eye colour and hairstyle the resemblance was unmistakable, not to mention he had spent enough time over the last couple years trying to track Uchiha Hinata to have memorized every line and contour of her face.
Swiping his finger across the screen he answered the call.
"Yes" his voice sounding bored tinged with annoyance, none of his internal excitement apparent.
"Oh." The speaker seemed startled before replying more composedly, "May I speak to Temari-san."
"She's unavailable at the moment. Do you want to leave a message?" His suspicions were just about confirmed, he didn't need voice recognition software to tell him what he already knew for certain.
"Thanks. Could you tell her Arata called and- well there's an issue… um could you just let her know I called please, that's all", her voice uncertain and despondent.
He was curious about her current state of mind, but he was in no place to pry and he certainly had more pressing matters to be dealt with.
"I will let her knew you called."
"Goodbye and thank you again."
Setting down the phone Shikaaru moved with uncharacteristic haste towards the bedroom and began pulling on the first set of clothing in sight. His mind whirled with ideas and possibilities, grabbing his keys, wallet and phone his brain entirely too preoccupied that he almost left without mentioning a word of his departure to the still showering blond.
Backtracking he called to her from his position on the other side of the closed door.
"I have work I need to attend to at the office. I'm leaving now I'll call you if I need to postpone dinner."
"Alright. I'll see you later, but you had better not forget to call if you're held up I'm not going to tolerate being stood up again" Temari warned menacingly, her meaning startlingly clear despite the distortion created by the running water.
Shikamaru grimaced as he remembered his folly and the blowout that had ensued once they had finally met face to face, not something he wanted a repeat off.
"And by the way Arata called" he mentioned belatedly.
"What did she say?" the blond inquired but there was no answer, the lazy genius had already left.
XXX
After that call it had taken hours before she had eventually cried herself to sleep. When she awoke she felt no better but she at least gathered her wits about her and promised herself she wouldn't overreact or overanalyze the situation. Hinata was still stunned at her core, but she tried to reason that Gaara had been lashing out after being confronted and she was the most available target to bear the brunt of his frustrations.
Fortunately she had enough responsibilities and demands to be met that she couldn't afford to dwell on her troubling situation, so she direct all her focus and energy towards smoothing the path for Temari to take the two weeks' vacation she had been planning for the last 5 months. During that time she would be left to oversee operations at the firm once she returned from Australia.
With Gaara out of the country and deigning to communicate with her via emails regarding business solely the lion's share of the work fell upon her shoulders and some days she felt as exhausted as when she had first closed her eyes. Her immense workload coupled with her worries concerning the lingering tension between herself and the redhead had set her on edge and had even crossed over into her non-waking hours.
Despite the pressure she struggled under she held out refusing to confide in anyone. However it was approaching almost a month with no resolution in sight when she finally gave in. All it took was a broken heel in the middle of the parking lot to cause her roiling emotions to be unleashed so that she found herself kneeling on the asphalt weeping uncontrollably in broad daylight.
Of course her breakdown at been witnessed by at least 5 other employees and she knew it wouldn't be long before Temari heard the news and was demanding answers. Hinata admittedly knew she hadn't done as good of a job as she would have liked at hiding her inner turmoil and instability, it was reflected plainly in her gaunt cheeks and her dark-rimmed, bloodshot eyes, no amount of makeup could have covered up the evidence despite her efforts to keep herself meticulously groomed.
She'd been more than a little surprised when her call had been intercepted by an unfamiliar male voice instead of Temari's. It wasn't much of a secret that the blond had an ongoing arrangement with someone from Konoha, but she kept her personal business private and low-key and Hinata had never been one to pry.
Not half hour later she found her phone buzzing to see Temari's name appear on the caller id.
"Hello Temari-san. I'm glad you got my message", Hinata greeted the blond sincerely.
"Of course I did, but Arata I was under the impression you'd be calling me tomorrow evening to deliver your status report updates. Is something going on?" Temari's confused tone made her fidget as she tried to phrase what she wanted to say without sounding like a miserable wreck.
"I know and I still plan to do so, but I didn't call to talk to you about the work. It's just that- well things haven't been going so well for me lately and after today you are bound to catch wind of it so I figured I'd be the one to tell you first", she admitted in a rush.
"Arata if there's something I should know about then don't hesitate to say it. You've got me nervous here, what's going on with you? Should I be worried?" Temari inquired her genuine concern unmistakable.
Shutting her eyes she steeled herself before blurting out the festering secret that she hadn't been able to voice to anyone till now, "I had a fight with Gaara when I came back from Hong Kong."
"What! A fight? You better tell me everything Arata. How did you stay quiet about for this for so long, I had no idea whatsoever" Temari retorted in shock and disbelief unable to fathom that she hadn't realize something had happened.
"It started when Suzumi-san called me to confess that Gaara had never bothered to show up at her family engagement. She was so upset and angry with him."
"Again! He did this to her again?" she repeated incredulously. "What the hell is wrong with that little fool. I know that brat would rather pull out a tooth than go to one of these event's but he seriously can't keep doing this to her."
"He called me later that night to talk about the same incident and I-" she broke off uncertainly, "Well I told him he was wrong for treating her that way and that he needed to try harder to work out things with their relationship.
"I guess he thought I was interfering too much and maybe he felt like I was taking sides, but he got really mad at me and lashed out. Um we haven't spoken since then…" she admitted with dismay.
"You mean to tell me that little rugrat blew up at you?!" she spat into the receiver. "He'd the one who fucked up Arata, he had no place taking anything out on you. God knows you're the one who puts up and defends that bugger the most."
"I'm not angry, I'm just hurt and I wish I could fix things between us. It's almost like he's purposely trying to sabotage his relationship with Suzumi and I don't understand why?"
Temari went quiet on her other end. She was silent for so long that Hinata almost thought she'd hung up until at last the blond spoke in a resigned voice.
"I know this probably never occurred to you and my stupid little brother, as brilliant and successful as he is absolute shit at dealing with his feelings and while I might be wrong I think Gaara feels more deeply for you than he'd like to admit."
"What?" she asked dazedly. "What do you mean?"
"Arata, my brother might be more than a little in love with you", the older woman spelled out for her plainly.
XXX
With trembling hands she lifted her now empty teacup off the coffee table and forced herself to her feet, swallowing hard with every step she took away from her television set all in an effort to put some desperately needed distance between herself and that accursed bearer of bad news. Before she could clench her jaw and restrict the aching chords in her throat a hoarse, broken sob escaped her lips when she stumbled over her clumsy feet disrupting her concentration and severing her shaky hold over her emotions.
A shrill crash accompanied her falter as her teacup met the floor of her apartment with unforgiving force, delicate porcelain shards scattered like her rioting, unbound emotions across her path. Whatever meager strength she has summoned to aid her unsteady flight from the living room dissipated suddenly as her legs gave way beneath her, the crack of her knees against the wooden floor more piercing a sound than the earlier encounter of the teacup and the ground.
Shutting her eyes Hinata tried to focus on the pain radiating from her bruised kneecaps rather than giving note to the heavy, desolate thudding of her heartbeat, each synchronic lub-dub made her chest ache and her breathe catch with the awesomeness of the agony engulfing her senses.
Being alive hurt. Feeling hurt.
She'd suffered more sorrow than she thought herself capable of withstanding, and yet still she didn't break, but this… this threatened to undo her completely. Hinata honestly didn't know if she could really continue this uphill battle with each new devastating hurdle life sent her way to break her stride and send her tumbling back to the bottom.
The last few weeks had put her through the wringer when the new found bonds she had made had been put to the test and she didn't know if she they would survive these upheavals and unsettling revelations disrupting the life she had made for herself in Suna, but tonight's news had forced her to admit that she couldn't keep running. She'd gone on as far as she could even the time and the distance she had put between herself and her past had been woefully inadequate in preventing the inevitable.
Reaching out she began picking up broken shards in her hands not even grimacing as the sharp edges nicked her unprotected skin as she made the decision to trek back to the start.
Hinata was returning to Konoha.
XXX
A/N: Not sure why I bother with an Author's Note when pretty much no one reads them, but on the off chance that someone does well I'll keep at it.
Right so I haven't updated in over a year and I apologize but be assured I WILL finish this fic.
Special thanks to umnia and SAMARA-18 you helped me get off my butt and update, you are such an amazing support! It was hard to believe anyone was still cared about this fic.
Btw in the last scene the bad news Hinata receives has not been revealed yet and yes in the next chapter she meets Sasuke!
Thanks to all of you reading for sticking with me and if you think I'm sticking with the updates don't hesitate to tell me. It helps!
Please review and feel free to ask any questions you may have or comment I'm always happy to hear from my readers.
Sincerely,
CharmGirl24.