Authors Note: Bit of an earlier update this time, but still just as long of a chapter as usual. ^_^ Hope you enjoy. And thank you for all the reviews and to all you faithful readers. This fic is now longer than the standard novel. Crazy stuff. D:
Oh, BTW: Most everybody in here, including clients and minor appearances (like the girl worker in this chapter) are actually found in the Loveless series. How many of you recognize these minor characters?
Chapter 15
Ritsuka woke up the next morning before either Soubi or Kio, feeling well rested and rather snuggly. Kio had grabbed hold of him sometime during the night and was holding onto him like a teddy bear. The warmth and innocence of it all didn't call forth any issues of inappropriateness, and Ritsuka loathed to get out of bed, but he was hungry. When his stomach began protesting loudly enough that he feared waking his bed mates, he squirmed out of Kio's arms, who immediately filled his vacant middle spot and wrapped arms and legs around Soubi like an octopus. Ritsuka smiled faintly at them before tip-toeing out of the room.
There were a few boys either already awake or just getting in, but the kitchen was empty. The only thing Ritsuka had ever learned to prepare for breakfast besides cold cereal was eggs, and those didn't sound appetizing in the least. He happened to know there was a box of Applejacks high in the pantry that had yet to be opened. Problem was, he was so small there wasn't any way of reaching it without help. He had just pushed a dining room chair against the open pantry and climbed on top of it when a hand fell on his shoulder. He whirled. Soubi caught him before he could lose his balance and fall off.
"Tsk tsk," he said. "I'm afraid it won't be cereal today."
Ritsuka's eyes lit up. "Kio's gonna cook?"
"No. Kio gets a break today. From everything."
Ritsuka could recognize an apology when he heard one, and this was definitely Soubi's idea of an apology to Kio for the night before. Ritsuka didn't comment on it, though. He feared that if he said anything, Soubi would immediately recant the whole thing.
"Then what are we eating?" Ritsuka asked. "My stomach's going to eat itself."
"You and Natsuo and his…unfortunate life partner…are going to retrieve donuts for everyone in the house. There is a more than satisfactory bakery three blocks from here. The owner already keeps a tab with me here. He's partial to Kio, but that's neither here nor there." A brief but dark look passed across Soubi's face. "You won't be charged for the donuts, in any case. Five dozen."
At first, Ritsuka wasn't impressed with the idea. He was hungry NOW, and God only knew how long it would be before Natsuo and Youji were awake enough to go with him. And why did it have to be them, anyway, when they were already on such bad terms with him? But then, Ritsuka found his mind changing. Donuts sounded tasty, and this might be the perfect opportunity to apologize for how he had slighted their relationship. Natsuo, at the very least, deserved an apology for the horrible things Ritsuka had said to him. He had no control over the fact that prostitution was he and Youji's only available means of income right now. And it didn't mean they didn't love each other.
Really, their prostitution was only further evidence that they loved each other so very much and would do anything for each other. Wasn't that the ideal love?
Ritsuka realized Soubi probably was waiting for a response.
"Fine. But I want at least a dozen cherry glazed."
"I sincerely doubt that a petite thing like yourself could manage to consume a dozen of anything, but you may certainly get as many as you'd like of whatever you'd like. Just remember to get the green box for Kio." Soubi removed his steadying hold on Ritsuka's waist and held out a hand to him. Ritsuka, puzzled by that last remark, looked at him quizzically. Soubi waved one hand carelessly. "They will know what that means. Now, allow me to help you down so that you can slip into an ensemble more suitable for daywear."
Ritsuka took his offered hand and stepped down from the chair. He wished this didn't make such a dramatic difference in height, but he now had to crane his neck to look Soubi properly in the eyes. "How long do I have to wait for Youji and Natsuo to get up before I can just go get them myself?"
"They're already awake," Soubi said. He began walking out of the kitchen, toward the main stairway. Ritsuka fell into step beside him. "They should have smartened themselves up by now. Run along, and be quick. You need to be absent from here no later than nine 'o clock."
Frowning at this, Ritsuka grabbed the sleeve of Soubi's robe and tugged him to an abrupt stop.
Soubi looked down on him, plainly amused. "Something the matter?"
"Why do I need to be away by nine? What's happening?"
"Ah." Soubi's eyes glittered behind his lenses. "Don't concern yourself with that. Your task is to fetch donuts."
"Does this have anything to do with—"
"Seimei? No, it does not." And with that, Soubi started toward the stairway again.
Natsuo and Youji were standing on the bottom step, looking slightly uncomfortable in so much clothing. They both had on normal-fitting pants, long sleeved shirts, scarves, and boots that looked much more combat than Spice Girls.
Youji appeared his usual sinister and slightly bored self, but Natsuo was looking uncharacteristically bad-tempered. He crossed his arms when he spotted Ritsuka.
"I don't understand why Kano can't take the little pipsqueak."
"I have another job for Kano this morning. You know this already," Soubi said, patiently. "He's needed here, and Ritsuka is needed someplace other. I don't want to hear any more about it."
"'I don't want to hear any more about it.'" mocked Youji, in a high-pitched, sing-song, extremely effeminate manner. "Go suck on a rock, Soubi."
Ritsuka noticed that he was holding what looked like a pair of jeans and a red sweater. The clothes were crushed tightly in his fist and hanging against his right thigh, like a bizarre weapon brought to a fashion war.
Soubi sighed. "Every second you delay is that much more incentive for me to dock your donut ration."
Youji tossed the clothes right at Soubi's face. Actions speak louder than words, thought Ritsuka. Soubi blinked maliciously, as if imagining all the delightful torments he would dearly love to put Youji through, before picking up the jeans and sweater and handing them to Ritsuka.
After that, Youji marched off, but not before looking over his shoulder at Soubi and throwing him a vicious glower. Natsuo followed after him. Ritsuka hastily pulled off his less-than-suitable daywear and changed into the clothes. Then he tore along after them at the rear.
Youji seemed to know where he was going, if the stomp stomp stomp of his combat boots was any indication. He was walking too quickly for Ritsuka to catch up before he had made it through the house doors. Ritsuka had to pause to stuff his feet into a pair of galoshes someone had abandoned in the coat closet by the entrance. They were slightly too big for him but there was no time to find ones that did. Running in them was clumsy at best, but he was able to catch up to them just as they stepped onto the sidewalk. They were muttering to each other; it had become very clear that it wasn't just Natsuo in a foul mood.
"Cut my donut ration," Youji was saying, bitterly. "I don't even like donuts."
"I like donuts," said Natsuo. He somehow managed to make even that sound like a complaint.
"Which is the only reason I'm out of bed at this unholy hour, wearing clunky G.I. Jane boots and 'fetching' breakfast like Soubi's little cocker spaniel. "
Natsuo was silent a moment, then said. "Well, I don't like them enough for this to be worth it."
Youji slipped a hand out of his pants pocket and linked his fingers with Natsuo's. "Don't be stupid. You're worth anything. Even this."
"Isn't this Kio's job anyway?" Said Natsuo. He was sounding a trifle sunnier than he had a few minutes ago.
Ritsuka decided this might be a good time to speak up. "Soubi's giving Kio the day off from everything. I think he's finally trying to do something for someone else."
Youji laughed. "Soubi must have given you some pretty good candy-stick last night to make you sound like his little bitch."
"Wait, how do you know I was with Soubi last night?"
Natsuo actually smirked, looking triumphant. "Because Kano knows everything, especially where you're concerned. And he wasn't very happy about it."
"Eh," said Youji. "To be fair, he wasn't exactly wallowing either. He's not really the jealous type. Although…" he shot Ritsuka a wink. "I think he might actually be a little offended you give it up so easily to everyone else but won't spread your cute little legs for him."
"If you're going to try to get to me, there are much better ways of doing it," Ritsuka said, with dignity. "Kano knows why I won't," he faltered here and again found himself fighting a blush. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. "He knows why I won't do that and he respects my choices. I have no choice with Soubi, which he also knows."
"Doesn't mean he can't be sulky about it," Natsuo supplied, unhelpfully. "And after all you owe him."
Ritsuka bit down growing annoyance. "Look, what happens or doesn't happen between me and him isn't any concern of yours. I won't sleep with Kano because he isn't just another job for me. He's my friend and I care about him and I care about preserving that friendship, which is exactly why I would never sleep with the two of you either."
They stopped at a street corner, waiting for morning traffic to pass. Even in their drab attire, they were getting a few honks and suggestive gestures by passing motorists. The smell of wet gravel and car exhaust was much more predominant this side of the city block.
Youji was smirking down at Ritsuka. "Are you saying you care about us?"
"Yes," he said. "I'm saying I care about you."
Natsuo's expression softened considerably, and neither of them spoke. They both looked slightly shocked, which was definitely a first.
"Natsuo," Ritsuka continued. "I said some really horrible things to you. And all of them were untrue. It wasn't fair, and I'm not proud of it. I was lashing out because I was hurt. I've never felt hurt so profound and I wasn't in my right mind. You didn't deserve to be attacked and neither did Youji. I'm sorry."
By this point, Ritsuka's steady eye contact had broken, and he was looking down at his borrowed boots. There was silence for a few beats, then suddenly Natsuo grabbed him and squeezed him so tightly that Ritsuka found breathing difficult.
"Oh, Ritsuka! We love you too!"
Ritsuka didn't recall saying anything about love, but he didn't think it'd be prudent to point that out. The word was too complicated and too confusing for Ritsuka to consider. He hadn't even considered the word with Seimei; feelings was as far as he felt comfortable thinking about consciously.
"Or, we at least love your ass." Youji added on lecherously, but his eyes betrayed him. They were filled with a fond exasperation so pure it was almost tender. He enveloped Natsuo and Ritsuka in his arms together as they hugged. Suddenly, Ritsuka was overcome with thoughts of his mother. Missing her love, twisted as it was, and the way she would hold him close when he caught a cold or scraped his knee playing on the concrete. Natsuo and Youji and Kano and Kio were great friends, but they could not replace a mother's love. She was the only family that Ritsuka had. He wondered if she was okay. If she was still out there searching for him. Maybe Ritsuka was selfish for leaving her. Maybe he should have stayed with her and all the terror she inspired, if only to know that she was alright. So what if it would have meant risking his very life? Weren't you supposed to risk your life for the people you loved? Ritsuka DID love her, as much know as he ever had. Ritsuka controlled his thoughts of her and only indulged in it rarely because it was too painful to contemplate most of the time. But the way that Natsuo and Youji were hugging him, so unselfishly, made it impossible for Ritsuka to keep away the memories of being cared for just as unselfishly before.
He would help her, Ritsuka vowed, right then and there. He would use part of his earnings and he would get help for her. He didn't know how yet, but he knew there must be a way. Money would barely be an obstacle anymore, if at all. He may even be able to get Soubi to fund it himself, if it meant a guarantee of keeping Ritsuka at The House for the duration of her treatment, which would probably be years. Which would be worth it.
The rest of the journey to the donut shop was significantly more enjoyable, with Youji and Natsuo now flanking him, their arms linked around his. They kept up an endless stream of innuendos, taunts, and the occasional verbal abuse of Soubi-which Ritsuka actually felt a little indignant about, but also found kind of funny, since most of what they were saying was true.
The punch in the gut came when they reached their destination. As they approached the door, Ritsuka actually laughing when he hadn't managed to in days, it swung open. Seimei appeared in the door frame, a steaming to-go coffee in one hand.
There was a timeless moment in which the four of them froze; Ritsuka, Youji, and Natsuo all staring at Seimei, and Seimei staring back at Ritsuka. He looked as if he had stumbled upon the crime scene of a murder he himself had committed- shame and regret and remorse at his own violation flashing in his eyes. But the glance was so fugacious that Ritsuka wondered if he had imagined it as quickly as it had disappeared.
His root-beer colored gaze fixed somewhere in the distance, Seimei held open the door, presumably to allow the boys to pass. However, that man... that man that Ritsuka had seen with Seimei a time before -with a sleek, dark ponytail, suspiciously slitted eyes, and a pointed rat's face- emerged. Nisei was his name, Ritsuka remembered, having picked up on his obvious possessiveness of Seimei before.
Nisei cut a path between Ritsuka and Seimei, smirking down at Ritsuka with an air of unsuppressed triumph as he passed. Seimei tailed him, letting Youji catch the door when he released it. He did not spare a second glance back as the two of them walked away across the parking lot.
"Seriously?" Youji shouted at him. "Why don't you be a man, Aoyagi, and-"
Natsuo rapped him sharply atop the head. "No!"
Youji covered his scalp. "Ow!" The glare he had shot at Natsuo quickly dissolved into an expression of surprised lust. "Mm. Damn."
"Just shut up saying anything to him. He's stupid anyway, and Ritsuka—"
As if suddenly remembering he was there, the pair of them whirled on him.
Ritsuka stood rooted to the spot, shock still coursing through him at the unexpected encounter. He looked up at them, not moving anything except his eyes. His heart hadn't yet restarted.
"Ritsuka," Natsuo said in a tone that was obviously meant to be placating. He had his hands up, as if trying to calm down a rampant horse. "Please don't do anything rash."
A young mother passed between them and disappeared through the door. Her three small children toddled along after her in an unruly line, their shrill voices shaking Ritsuka out of his stupor. He shook his head to clear it.
"I'm not going to-" he started, but Youji sprang and tackled him against the wall. Ritsuka's belly and right cheek were pressed flush against the white-washed brick. Youji had a handful of his shirt scruff, holding him down firmly like he was dominating a misbehaving house cat.
"I'm not going to do anything!" Ritsuka shouted, indignant at this injustice.
"That's right," Youji agreed. "Because if you do, nothing good will come from it. We're going to go inside, buy five boxes of sugary circles, and go back to The House."
He waited until Ritsuka nodded, scratching his cheek against the rough brick, before releasing him.
"God, Youji, you're not my bodyguard." Ritsuka huffed, dusting bits of grime off his shirt.
"Someone should be," laughed Natsuo. He led the way into the donut shop while Youji made an appreciative growling noise at him.
Ritsuka didn't have any surprise left in him to be appalled, when it came to those two. Part of him was put out that they behaved so obnoxiously in public and part of him was charmed that two people could still be so into each other after years of being together.
Inside the shop was extremely pink. Revoltingly pink, actually. Pink and white checkered floor, pink countertops, pink barstools. Even the illuminated sign above the workers station was pink with a small relief of blue mixed in. Ritsuka seized upon this as an opportunity to think about something other than what and whom he had just seen. It didn't really work, but the imagery of a giant bottle of Pepto-Bismol vomiting all over the walls was certainly momentarily distracting.
"Can I help you?" said a girl behind the counter. She was actually smaller than Ritsuka-which was sadly not too often an occurrence when it came to full-grown adults (she looked about twenty-three or so)—and had two long, dark pony-tails that were so glossy they literally glittered in the patch of sunlight falling in from the windows. Her face was sweet and beautiful at the same time, with a smile that was all sugar and honey.
Ritsuka hated her on sight. A burst of jealousy hit him so hard in the stomach his breath failed him for the second time that morning. This woman had just taken Seimei's order, and although she was a she, that almost made it worse. Seimei indulged in a vast array of male company in the night, but this person was the sort of person who would look spectacular on his arm, and Ritsuka knew that he himself was one of only a few of the boys who didn't also enjoy female "company." He was sure this was true for their pool of clientele as well.
Bitterly, Ritsuka looked at the menu, again trying to distract himself from the possibility of this woman charming Seimei. There were glazed donuts. Cream filled. Raspberry filled.
But maybe he was being ridiculous. Seimei had dated Soubi, after all. Apparently, his taste did lean more toward Ritsuka's own.
Chocolate filled. Maple covered. Pink with confetti sprinkles.
…Yes, it was, in fact, rather stupid of Ritsuka to direct the force of his jealousy at this tiny girl when the real threat was more likely to be the man Seimei had been with. Nisei. What had that sidelong glance been? That arrogance. That air of victory.
Donut holes. Donut sticks. Cinnamon buns.
"Well?" Youji said from behind him, right into his ear. He jumped so violently he felt his extremities tingle. "Gonna pick something or would you rather I just take you into the bathroom and turn you into a cream-filled?"
Ritsuka was so troubled by the green-tinged visions in his head that he didn't even blush. Natsuo came up behind them both and scolded Youji.
"Hey now," he said. "None of that kind of talk unless I'm invited too. Remember the rule – no extracurricular activities outside of work unless I'm there too."
Youji made a blasé gesture with his hand, looking completely unremorseful. "How do you think I was planning to hold him down without you?"
And then the two of them shared a most disturbing grin.
Ritsuka decided that the fastest way to put a stop to it was to get their donuts and go. The tiny girl at the counter was smiling somewhat uneasily now. He hoped that she hadn't overheard their conversation.
"I need five dozens." Ritsuka said, trying to sound confident. "One dozen of-"
"Wait!" the girl interrupted, pointing at Natsuo and Youji. "I know you two!"
Natsuo and Youji looked at each other and shrugged. Ritsuka supposed this must happen to them from time to time, being in the business for so long. But had someone like this girl really asked for their services? She didn't look that too long out of puberty.
"Here!" she exclaimed triumphantly, placing a small green box on the counter. "You came for this too, right?"
Youji laughed again, this time viciously. "Really Soubi? He needs some lessons in romancing. Not that I'd ever help him out there."
Ritsuka ignored him. "Oh, yes that too." He pulled the small box toward himself and stared down at it curiously.
"You can peek," said the girl. Her nametag flashed, and Ritsuka saw that she was called Mikado. She reached forward and lifted the front facing flap to reveal a donut that was twice as large as any of the others. It was also shaped like a heart. In green, spiraled writing it said, "Forgive Me."
"It's filled with raspberry cream," Mikado told him. "Normally raspberry only comes in jelly. This is something we make specially for Soubi since he's one of our best customers. Well-" She glanced around and then whisper conspiratorially, "I also make it for that handsome businessman who held the door for you. That almost famous lawyer, Seimei Aoyagi…do you know him?" Before Ritsuka could even formulate a response, she carried on. "But I'm not supposed to! He never even asks for them. But we were old high school friends and he's always so polite."
Here, she dissolved into hushed giggles behind her hand, and that flash of jealousy that had seized Ritsuka earlier flared to life again. He almost asked her more; almost demanded that she tell him if Seimei returned her flirting. But his tongue seemed glued to the roof of his mouth, and he found he really did not want to know.
"So," said Mikado, closing the little green box. She leaned forward on her elbows, giving Ritsuka a generous view of her bosom. "What else will it be?"
Ritsuka glanced back at Natsuo and Youji to ask their recommendation on donut choices, but they were now so thoroughly absorbed in whispering and snickering to each other that Ritsuka was pretty sure they weren't all that fussed about what kind he picked out. He turned back to Mikado. "I think we'll take a dozen each of your five most popular kinds."
He also ordered a decaf mocha coffee to warm himself while the girl packed the petunia pink boxes. Natsuo and Youji actually did disappear into the bathroom for a disturbingly lengthy visit, and when they returned, smirking in a suspiciously naughty fashion, the boxes had just been pushed to their side of the counter.
"Shall I just put that on Soubi's tab, then?" Mikado asked. Ritsuka nodded, not really wanting to exchange any more words.
"Yeah, buddy!" Natsuo said, as if he had just won the lottery. He was peaking into the top box. "Ritsuka got us chocolate-filled!"
"Well…technically Soubi got us chocolate-filled." Youji corrected, looking over Natsuo's shoulder. "But it's Ritsuka who put in the effort, so he gets more credit. And all Soubi cares about is the heart one, so…." He reached in and plucked two out, handing one to Natsuo. "We can eat extras on our way back and he'll be none the wiser. I worked up an appetite in there."
Natsuo narrowed his eyes at him and grinned. Ritsuka wanted to end the whole horrifying conversation.
"Let's get them back before they get cold, you guys," he muttered, grabbing a couple of the boxes. "And I'm taking the green one so Youji can't put something disgusting inside it."
"Hey!" shouted Youji indignantly, mouth full to bursting. "I wouldn't do anything to it! It's Kio's!"
Natsuo giggled. "Why do I hear a 'but' at the end of that sentence?"
"But," Youji added, gathering up the remaining boxes. "I'll make fun of Soubi about the whole thing for ages, trust me."
After being incapable of working so many times due to either anger or having a meltdown, Soubi was adamant that Ritsuka work a full shift that night. Kano was again put in charge of grooming and dressing him, seeing as how Kio was enjoying a date with none other than Soubi himself. Kano had also been made charge of the working boys that night, instructed not to take any clients so as to keep a watch over those leaving and coming back to The House.
He had tried in vain to tempt Ritsuka into a pleated skirt that night, but Ritsuka had refused so vehemently that Kano finally settled on black knitted shorts that looked more like lace than the cotton they were made out of. His shirt was white but tight and sleeveless, and it ended above his navel. Out of an act of kindness—or so Ritsuka believed was a reason—Kano had pulled out a pair of expensive looking knee-high boots that were so plush and fuzzy inside that Ritsuka barely felt chilled when he took up his spot along the curb. The other boys were laughing and joking about Soubi-and Kio, by extension.
"Seriously, man. A heart-shaped donut. Again," Youji was saying. One of Kano's roommates was listening raptly and chuckling. "Soubi has, like….no game. At all."
"And Kio fell for that?" the boy asked.
"Kio falls for anything Soubi puts out there, even when he knows he shouldn't," Natsuo piped up. "I don't know why. Soubi doesn't deserve it."
Youji snorted. "Yeah. Little blond ferret that he is."
Another of the boys from Ritsuka's movie night then stated quite clearly and calmly, "I think Soubi has a lot of game. How many of you guys has he fucked? Huh?"
Youji's eyes flashed and his fists tightened into small balls of fury. "Fuck you. Who asked you to join this conversation, anyway? I'll punch your teeth in."
The boy scoffed. "It's true. I mean, it's not like he's going around raping us."
Youji took a step forward, to which the boy didn't step down at all.
"Alright, break it up," Kano finally intervened. "This is hardly worth having a brawl over. We all already know that some of you hate Soubi, some of you don't mind him, and the rest of us look forward to getting called into his office."
"Don't look at me," Ritsuka said hastily, as Kano shot him a look over his shoulder. "Just because I find him a cut above most of our clients doesn't mean I'm marking down the days on my calendar until it's 'my turn' again."
A relatively good-natured argument broke out on varying opinions regarding Soubi's amount of game and whether or not he was more attractive than most of their clientele.
Kano used this opportunity to sink a little deeper in the shadows next to Ritsuka.
"Still mad?"
Ritsuka didn't look at him. He had fixed his gaze resolutely on a point of light across the street. "Quite."
"You know that I'll tell you as soon as the right time for it-"
"And who are you to decide when the right time is for me about anything?" Ritsuka cut in.
Kano opened his mouth, then closed it again without a word. Ritsuka stared him down, cold challenge in his eyes until he finally he came up with, "You're right, of course. I'm no one to decide when you should or shouldn't know something. But I don't believe it's my right to go shooting off my mouth to you about things that aren't completely comprehensible to me. That's gossip, and I don't engage in such repulsive activities."
"Then I guess I shouldn't even bother to ask you why Soubi was so keen to get me out of The House this morning."
Kano glanced around, then grabbed Ritsuka's shoulders and moved him a little further away from the crowd. "Actually, I have all my facts there neatly lined up, so I can tell you. But, uh... just keep an open mind, okay?"
"Open mind?" Ritsuka didn't like where this was headed.
"You were needed to clear The House today in order for us to throw your mother off your scent."
Ritsuka's hard expression slackened. "My mother?" Kano's hands were still on his shoulders; he stepped backward out of his reach. "What did Soubi do?"
"No harm done," Kano said, quickly. "He simply had Kio tip her off that there were some boys something like your description seen around here. As expected, she came to investigate at once, and Soubi graciously allowed her inside with a full tour. With all the boys just waking up and Soubi giving her full permission to search the premises-which she did, by the way-she was satisfied that you were not a resident of The House. Of course, you were simply off buying donuts, but she was easily swayed by Soubi's charm and the thought didn't seem to have crossed her mind."
It wasn't that Ritsuka was mad; he had wanted his mother thrown off his track. Soubi had promised to do so without hurting her further, and he had delivered. It was simply that Ritsuka was stunned into immobility. Even his brain seemed to have shut down.
Kano, blessed as he was with his ability to read people, didn't offer any unnecessary consolation. He simply put a steadying hand on Ritsuka's shoulder again.
"Do you need to sit down?"
"No, I'm..." Ritsuka trailed off, inhaled deeply, then said, "You met her?"
Kano nodded. "She's lovely. You have her eyes: sad and beautiful and soulful. She seemed very kind."
Reluctantly, Ritsuka felt his mouth twitch into a soft smile. Kano smiled back.
"See, Ritsuka? I do tell you things. Don't lose your trust in me. I'll always be your ally. And I hope you'll be mine. I see a lot of rottenness in a lot of people. When I find goodness, I don't take it for granted."
But Ritsuka wasn't able to respond to this. Kano's attention had been redirected to Youji and Natsuo, who appeared to have apprehended a woman in a red coupe and were attempting to persuade her into a buy-one-get-one-half-off special.
"A regular," Kano said without much interest, turning back to Ritsuka as Ritsuka gaped at the three of them. "They're fine with her."
"But she's a woman." Ritsuka was unable to keep the horror and distress out of his voice.
"Yes." Kano snapped his fingers briskly in front of Ritsuka's nose to regain his attention. "We do have a small handful of women who visit us regularly, and a fair few more who show up infrequently."
"I- I just c-can't." Ritsuka was shaking his head forcefully, looking after the red coupe as it sped away with Youji and Natsuo now inside. "Not a woman. I couldn't just neutralize myself to that. I'd be the one doing the violating, and it isn't right."
Kano chuckled darkly. "You think you'd be the violator, huh? Don't be so sure about that one." He shoved his hands into the carpenter pants he was sporting and looked out down the road. "There's plenty of man-hungry cougars out there."
Ritsuka shuddered and muttered the word 'cougars' with no small amount of mortification. "How do you deal with that?"
Kano shrugged. "Not any different for me than the men. I've been attracted to my share of females."
Ritsuka boggled.
Kano saw the look on his face and chuckled at him. "What? You think male models can't like girls?"
Honestly, Ritsuka had never given the desires of male models much thought at all, but he didn't want to say that. And since now the truth was off the table, he didn't answer at all.
Kano didn't seem to mind, though. "Well, former male models, anyway," he sighed.
Ritsuka felt the blood leave his face. He didn't know what he'd do if a cougar tried to pick him out of the lineup. Cry, probably. Or faint.
"Easy there, little tiger," said Kano. He flicked the cupcake charm hanging from the chain around Rituska's hips. "You're pale as Oreo cream. It's unlikely a woman would choose someone of your petite build. They usually go after Soubi's older, hairier, and more rugged collection. Notice how Youji had to talk that one into taking them. They're too pretty, the pair of them."
Ritsuka might object to the term "pretty" being applied to Natsuo and Youji, who were always so lecherous and blunt, but he understood with Kano meant. They were at least willowy.
"Well… I still need to figure what I'm going to do if some woman decides she wants to – " Ritsuka began, but Kano interrupted him.
"What the hell? Already?" Kano was saying in an awed whisper, staring down at the road again. There was a pair of headlights approaching.
"What are you talking about? I don't –"
And then Ritsuka realized. It was the black Rolls Royce.
Seimei was back.
Ritsuka didn't know whether to laugh or cry or run away or run forward. He ended up just staring, and staring, until the car pulled itself alongside the curb.
Whispers broke out among all the boys remaining on the street. Ritsuka couldn't make out any full sentences but he was able to hear a few words. "It's him" and "maybe me" and even someone who muttered "so hot."
Unable to bear it if Seimei took someone else, but knowing at this point that it was likely, Ritsuka balled up his fists and turned away. His heart was hammering so hard that the lace choker he wore was visibly jumping over the pulse points in his neck. He didn't want to hear the double whistle that meant he wanted Youji. He didn't want to hear that smooth, warm honey voice asking some other boy to come with him.
Ritsuka's breath became labored and shallow with building internal emotion. He wished Kano hadn't stopped speaking to him, but he seemed to be as distracted as the rest of them, and Ritsuka wondered if Seimei called for him if he'd actually leave his post as Kio's fill-in and go.
The sound of a car door closing registered distantly in his mind, but he had closed his eyes and was willing himself to think of calming waterfalls, gorgeous butterflies in a meadow, backlit by a crisp golden sunset. Not Seimei. Not his smile. Not his warm, kind eyes. Not his perfect, delicious touch.
A pair of hands encircled his arms just above his elbows—gentle, seductive, protective. Slowly, he opened his eyes. Seimei had knelt before him, one knee on the ground, looking up into Ritsuka's face with an expression like he were seeing sunlight for the first time.
Ritsuka's world came to a stand-still.
"…Seimei," he breathed, so softly.
"Are you engaged for the evening, Ritsuka?" asked Seimei. He sounded utterly polite, but also completely sincere.
It was an endearing mixture, and Ritsuka didn't want it to be. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to demand why Seimei was asking for him now, having passed him over twice before for someone else, and why Seimei had ignored him in the donut shop. He wanted to demand why Seimei still had to be so effortlessly charming, and why his hair had to fall just so across his face, and why he had to have eyes that melted Ritsuka like butter on a hot plate.
The most that Ritsuka could manage was a half-sullen, half-teasing answer: "I could be."
Seimei seemed to take the hint. He smiled and asked another question.
"Would you accompany me tonight?"
Part of Ritsuka (a small part) wanted to tell him no. It wasn't out of pride or resentment or even out of hurt, though. It was out a fierce, irrational desire to make it known to Seimei that he belonged to Ritsuka. Some sort of primal, domineering instinct to stake one's claim on what one needed to survive. Ritsuka's heart told him that he couldn't live without Seimei; what right did Seimei have to carry on with someone else?
But the larger part was just glad that Seimei had come back, and that he was looking at Ritsuka with this kind of hope and interest. Ritsuka could no more say no to him than slice off his own right hand, and Ritsuka had always, always been afraid of blood.
"Yeah," Ritsuka said. "I can do that."
"Then please, allow me."
He stood and offered his arm to Ritsuka, like a 19th century gentleman.
Among much jealous whispering and a few cat calls, Ritsuka took his arm and allowed himself to be escorted across the lawn, toward the Rolls Royce. Seimei opened the passenger door for him and made sure his hands and legs were securely inside before closing it again. As he moved around the car to the driver's side, Ritsuka looked out the window back at The House.
Kano was leaning against the porch railing, his arms folded. He stared right back at Ritsuka with an expression that was dark with suspicion; but, curiously, it was not at all disapproving. In fact, he gave a short, single nod just before the Rolls pulled away.
Ritsuka wasn't sure exactly what that had meant, but he was too preoccupied to dwell on it. He seemed to be experiencing a minor heart-attack, and he couldn't figure out if it was in a good way or a bad way. An overwhelming sense of euphoria was threatening to override his sullen sense of betrayal.
Without warning, Seimei veered off to left. The Rolls turned into a dark and deserted side-alley, a little too sharply for Seimei's usual smooth navigation, and came to a stop just beyond the mouth of the opening.
Ritsuka looked around at Seimei, intending to ask what was happening. The words died instantly on his lips.
Seimei was turned in the seat toward him, eyes blazing. His breathing was heavy, liked he'd just ran the single block it had taken to get here. The look sent a jolt of arousal straight through Ritsuka's core.
"Come here," Seimei said, voice husky and breath hitched, and pulled the seat lever to lean back further. The action created extra space between the steering wheel and his lap.
Ritsuka understood the request immediately. He undid his seatbelt and swung a leg over Seimei's thighs, straddling his lap but not sitting; holding himself above Seimei on his knees.
Seimei trapped Ritsuka's torso between his hands, sliding them down his sides with deliberate appreciation. His fingers hooked into the hem of his lacy shorts and yanked them downwards, exposing soft cotton panties with delicious stitched across the front in fuchsia. One of those warm hands cupped the material between Ritsuka's parted thighs and massaged in slow circles, causing the printed strawberry to plump due to the answering swell behind it.
Ritsuka's hands shot out to grab hold of Seimei's shoulders. He gasped and threw back his head, all thoughts of being deliberately difficult forgotten.
"I must remember to thank Kano," Seimei murmured.
"I….I…picked out the bottoms," Ritsuka answered back, between gasps.
"Did you now?" whispered Seimei appreciatively. His fingernails skirted the elastic edge of Ritsuka's panties. They scratched softly along the skin there, and Ritsuka inched closer on his knees, hoping to persuade them to dip underneath.
Suddenly, Seimei's unoccupied hand slid to the small of Ritsuka's back. Lower still it went, until Seimei's fingers were hugging the curves of Ritsuka's bottom. There was nothing gentle about the squeezing pressure they applied. It made clear what Seimei wanted, clearer than anything he could have said in words, and Ritsuka had no intention of denying him. He rocked forward and back, forward and back, caught between the desire for more at both ends and unable to have it in both places at once.
He felt the smooth vibration of the car's engine in the leather seat; saw the soft glow of the interior lights all around him, and the thrilling, mysterious quiet of their alleyway in the darkness outside.
The warm hand cupping his front vanished. Instead, Ritsuka felt it creep up the bottom of the backside edge of his panties, sliding without hesitation into the valley of his rear.
With a harsh exhale, Seimei's forehead fell forward onto Ritsuka's chest. Seimei cursed softly, like the word was being ripped from his throat against his will.
"Forgive my impatience," he said, rasping. His hands fumbled in the mini pocket on Ritsuka's shorts, which were still bunched and only halfway down his thighs. He produced one of the small foil packets and tore into it with his teeth.
Ritsuka unbuttoned Seimei's pants, releasing his straining arousal and helping him quickly roll on the sheath. He spared a brief thought of thanks to Kio for having the foresight to always supply them with the pre-lubed kind, because there was too much haste to bother with preparation. Ritsuka turned in Seimei's lap and leaned his head back on Seimei's shoulder for leverage; Seimei grasped two handfuls of his rear and lifted him a few inches above his lap, allowing room for Ritsuka to kick one leg of the shorts down his boot and off. When Ritsuka pulled his panties to the side and lowered himself again, Seimei guided him into position and slid neatly inside.
Seimei exhaled like the breath had been torn from his lungs. Ritsuka felt a sharp but highly pleasant bite on the back of his right shoulder. He clenched experimentally, wondering if that would make Seimei feel even better, and a pained, pleading sound reached his ears.
"Don't," Seimei was saying. "Don't don't don't don't don't."
Usually, Ritsuka would have feared that this meant he had done something wrong. But at this moment, Ritsuka knew that Seimei was begging him to stop not because he had done anything wrong, but because he had done something very, very right.
Ritsuka felt himself grin. There was a heady, rushing feeling in his veins.
"Don't what?" he asked teasingly. Then he clenched again.
Seimei's fingers dug into his hips hard enough to bruise. "Why do I…get the feeling that….you already know?"
Ritsuka giggled. Oh, he liked this. He liked this a lot. Seimei sounded so broken. Like he was a knight in armor, but the armor was cracking.
He felt Seimei shift under him, scooting backward in the driver's seat, and then pull Ritsuka's hips against him at a sharp angle. Ritsuka inhaled in surprise, and then Seimei lifted him up again, before giving a fierce thrust.
All teasing was forgotten. Quickly they found a rhythm; Ritsuka complying readily to the demands of Seimei's guiding hands and accepting each desperate thrust with a helpless, pleading cry. Everything was hot and intense and fast; the wet, hard sounds inciting their building orgasms and making it end much, much too quickly. When Seimei's climax hit, he bit down firmly into Ritsuka's shoulder, muffling moan after moan into the cotton material there.
Ritsuka was sore and sticky when he all but fell back into the passenger seat. It took several minutes of recovery time, of gulping in deep amounts of oxygen to regain enough composure for him to hike his shorts back onto his hips and look over at Seimei again.
Seimei was still breathless, but composed. He was watching Ritsuka with an expression that strongly implied he wasn't even close to through with him for the night. A pleasant chill shimmied up Ritsuka's spine.
Seimei put the Rolls in gear and steadily eased out of the alleyway. He had looked into the rearview mirror to back out, and when he saw his own reflection, had ran a hand through his hair, putting it back into some semblance of order.
The highway wasn't far away. Soon, they were speeding down the fast lane. Seimei lowered the windows just a bit, letting in crisp, cool night air.
"Forgive my impatience," he said again, almost sounding self-conscious. "I truly didn't plan to be so hasty. Or to desecrate my car's virgin interior."
Ritsuka wanted to give a polite laugh in response, but he just couldn't. The term "virgin" called to mind how very, very much Seimei himself was not a virgin – and that called to mind how he had taken Kano, and Youji before him, and countless others before that. The whirlwind sex earlier had wiped it from Ritsuka's head. Now, in the quiet stillness of a racing Rolls Royce, it was all Ritsuka could think about.
He remained silent.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Seimei asked when Ritsuka didn't reply. He sounded genuinely worried at the prospect.
Only my heart thought Ritsuka, bitterly.
"No," he said, trying and hoping he sounded casual. He made sure to keep his gaze out the side window. "I can handle the rough stuff too, you know."
He could see Seimei nod with his peripheral vision. "You've certainly proven that to me," Seimei said lightly, jokingly.
Again, Ritsuka didn't say anything. There was a small, ferocious monster tearing up his stomach. He had half a mind to start raving about Seimei's transgressions which, in all fairness, were not transgressions at all. He wondered if Seimei had even the foggiest idea of how Ritsuka felt, and if he did, Ritsuka wondered if he'd even care.
Minutes passed. City blocks rushed by in a colorful blur, steadily becoming more refined and classy as they drew closer to the penthouse. Finally, Seimei spoke again.
"My, my. You're so uncharacteristically chatty tonight I haven't gotten a word in edgewise. But please, don't let me stop you. As usual, I am charmed by every word."
Ritsuka shot him a scathing, exasperated look. Seimei's eyes cut to his, then back to the road. He was smiling brilliantly, white teeth glittering in the glow of passing lights.
"You want to smile, don't you?"
"No," Ritsuka said, flatly. He turned back to look out the window, propping his elbow on the ledge and leaning his chin in his palm.
Seimei reached over and patted his knee. "Hey, Ritsuka? Don't think about pink elephants."
Confused, Ritsuka was tricked into looking back at him again. "Pink elephants?"
"See, you're thinking about them now." He sounded immensely pleased with himself.
Ritsuka stared at him. "No, I'm not."
"Sure you are. You can't not think about them. And now you want to smile."
"I do not."
"Oh, Ritsuka! Don't smile!" Seimei suddenly exclaimed.
Ritsuka felt himself smile hugely, and was incensed with himself for doing it. "I'm not smiling!"
"Oh no!" said Seimei. "You're doing it again! Oh no! It's getting bigger! You look too happy and jovial! I'll start thinking that you're enjoying spending time with me! The world might end if that happened!"
Ritsuka couldn't help but laugh out loud at the mock horror in Seimei's voice. He was pulling the car into the penthouse parking garage, taking his usual reserved space.
Seimei put the Rolls into park and turned off the engine. Then, he turned to smile kindly at Ritsuka. "I'm quite the comedian, aren't I?"
Ritsuka was still upset with him, but he nodded and smiled reluctantly, unable to help it. He didn't think it was fair that Seimei could take his bad feelings away from him so quickly, and without Ritsuka's permission, too.
"Yeah." Seimei agreed, blithely. "I do stand-up in my spare time. It pays my electricity bills."
Ritsuka snorted. "It doesn't make you enough to pay the bill for this thing?" he asked, waving a hand at the dashboard.
Seimei sighed with deep, deep sorrow. "Unfortunately, no. I had to pay for the Rolls outright. Those British drive a hard bargain."
"That is unfortunate," Ritsuka agreed, very seriously.
"Not as unfortunate as you unhappy, though." Seimei replied, all traces of joking forgotten. "One might almost think you were upset with me."
Slowly, Ritsuka's smile faded. He looked down at his hands, not quite as pretty as they once had been when Kio had dolled him up. "One might be right in thinking so," he whispered.
There was a heavy pause before Seimei said anything to that. When he did respond, he sounded sad himself, and thoughtful. "One would wonder why."
Guilt, Ritsuka thought, was a very curious thing. It made you forget your own pain, your own discontent. As much as he wanted reasons why this had happened, as much as he wanted reassurance that he was still the favorite, as much as he wanted Seimei to tell him he'd never pick up another of the boys again, he didn't want it as much as he wanted to ease the look of concern etched between Seimei's brows. Ritsuka may have been quick to anger and slow to forgive, but there had always been exceptions. And Seimei had become an exception to practically every aspect of Ritsuka's life.
This time when he smiled it was slow and hesitant, soft and sad. "Nothing important enough to spoil the time I have with you tonight."
Seimei gave him a wistful smile in return. "Well…" he said. "Whatever it is…I'm sorry." He sounded quite sincere.
Ritsuka waved off the apology as if it were all water under the bridge. Maybe it was. "Don't worry about it," he said dismissively, before joking, "Now….were you wanting another round in the car, or…?"
Seimei laughed. "No…I'm thinking a bed would be more comfortable next time. Wouldn't you agree?"
Ritsuka agreed.
Which is how he found himself in Seimei's bedroom not ten minutes later, on his back in Seimei's bed, Seimei's bangs falling onto his forehead.
"God," Ritsuka breathed out, as Seimei attacked his neck with sucking kisses. He wrapped his legs around Seimei's waist and clung tightly. Every thought had deserted him; only primal, carnal need was driving his actions.
Seimei seemed to be just as overcome. He tore clothes from himself between kisses, then started on Ritsuka's. He didn't seem to need any help there, able in his lust-drunk state to lift Ritsuka's hips off the bed and pull off his garments in one sweeping gesture.
Seimei threw Ritsuka's lacy shorts aside carelessly, and Ritsuka didn't see or care where they landed. Then Seimei yanked off Ritsuka's boots, tossing those aside as well, seeming to be just as impatient as he was in the car. He looked down at Ritsuka's exposed lower half and growled quietly.
Somehow it was evident without any words exchanged that no more speaking was necessary; neither was it desired at that moment. Seimei reached beneath the pillow behind Ritsuka's head and pulled out several wrapped condoms and a small vial of lubricant. Clearly he had been planning for this, and Ritsuka didn't stop to wonder if it had been planned with any of Soubi's boys in mind or with him in particular. Partly because he was finding it far more pleasant to disregard these self-destructive thoughts, but mostly because Seimei had slicked his two first fingers with the transcendent gel and was working them carefully, but rather eagerly inside of Ritsuka.
One of Ritsuka's hands clutched at Seimei's shoulder, the other at his waist, unable to hold back a gasp. Seimei stilled when he had buried his fingers up to the second knuckle. He lowered himself half on top of Ritsuka and caught the ridge of his ear between his teeth. Ritsuka cried out as Seimei's tongue darted out and his fingers began to move inside of him, jackhammering against a sensitive spot.
"S—S…" Ritsuka cut himself off sharply, biting into his own lower lip to quiet himself.
"Say it," Seimei said, almost hissing the words. "I want to hear it spill from your lips like a prayer. Say it,"
"Seimei!" Ritsuka called out. He was positively writhing against the sheets now, sweat beginning to bead at the nape of his neck. His orgasm was building with alarming rapidity. He closed his eyes and called out Seimei's name over and over. Seimei was panting against his neck, and the warm rushes of breath tipped him over the edge with almost violent urgency.
As his heartbeat began to fall, Ritsuka felt Seimei chuckle against his neck. He opened his eyes slowly, feeling drained already.
Seimei had sat up between Ritsuka's legs and was swirling his index finger against one of his knees. "My, Ritsuka, we're looking a little ransacked. What could be the cause?"
Despite himself, Ritsuka laughed. It was a weak laugh, admittedly, but Ritsuka had just had a very forceful orgasm and it wasn't his fault.
"Someone tall, dark, and handsome molested me within an inch of my life," Ritsuka answered teasingly. "That's all."
Seimei's cheeks suddenly sprout pinpricks of rose. He cleared his throat, then recovered his composure so quickly that Ritsuka wondered if it was all in his head.
"I suspect that that someone is not quite finished," Seimei teased back. His hands dragged down the length of Ritsuka's thighs and back again.
"Oh really?" asked Ritsuka. He wondered why this light, carefree feeling was only present when Seimei was around. "And why do you suspect that, hmm?"
"Well…" said Seimei thoughtfully, before leaning down and casually licking Ritsuka's stomach. He gathered a drop of sweat into his mouth and swallowed audibly. "I'm very familiar with him, you see. I know how he thinks."
Ritsuka was stunned into silence by the sight of Seimei literally licking something off of him. He couldn't reply.
Thankfully, Seimei continued anyway. "And what he's thinking right at this very moment is that you really, really need more….attention."
Honestly, Ritsuka wasn't sure his over-sensitized body could handle more attention, but that wasn't something he was about to say to Seimei Aoyagi right now or, in fact, ever.
"I think…" said Ritsuka, feeling too brain dead to remember words. "I think—oh, God."
Seimei had taken hold of Ritsuka's hand and guided it downward, wrapping the slender fingers around his arousal. "And I," Seimei said, his voice much more gravelly and serious now. "I need more attention, too."
This worked better than Seimei probably thought it would to rekindle the fire he'd just extinguished from Ritsuka's engine. Eagerly Ritsuka worked him, drawing satisfaction from every breath and groan he received in answer of his administrations. But Seimei was becoming impatient, as he had earlier in the car, and he didn't allow Ritsuka much time to get a steady rhythm before he was being pushed back to the pillows again, Seimei wrenching his thighs apart.
Seimei lowered his weight onto Ritsuka gently, taking care not to crush him, but also refraining from just hovering above him. When he was settled, he undulated back and forth between Ritsuka's thighs. Ritsuka could feel the hard length of him dragging across the sensitive places between his legs.
Seimei was panting again, huffs of warmth breath ghosting over Ritsuka's ear.
"I trust you don't….need…further preparation?" he asked.
Ritsuka shook his head with all the strength he could muster, which wasn't much. "No….no….do it."
"Say it again," said Seimei. "Say it for me."
Ritsuka shivered violently. There was darkness in Seimei's breathless voice - darkness, but not evil. "Do it, Seimei. Now. Please."
Seimei took hold of the underside of Ritsuka's knee, set it over his shoulder, and thrust, burying himself completely with one fluid movement.
The night went on this way, round after round of festivities punctuated by brief periods of rest in which Seimei appeared neither spent nor recovered. He remained breathy and sweaty, eyes filled with lust and energy unwavering. Ritsuka had paused at one point to ask if he were alright…
Seimei had pulled Ritsuka to him and whispered, "Yes. God, yes." And Ritsuka had let it go and opened his mouth for more deep, slow kisses.
It was still dark when Ritsuka woke up, but only just. The sun's rays were glowing red and orange from just below the horizon, and Ritsuka could see skyscrapers in the distance glowing with the reflected light. He blinked blearily, expecting to find himself still at Seimei's penthouse, perhaps cocooned against Seimei himself, swimming in warm blankets.
Instead, Ritsuka realized that he was in Seimei's car again, which was idling at the curb of The House. The engine was humming quietly, and the leather seat under Ritsuka was soft and cushioned and all that Ritsuka wanted to do was go back to dreamland.
There was a persistent tugging at his arm, however, that prevented him from doing so. Ritsuka realized distantly that this is what had woken him in the first place. He looked around as he was pulled from the Rolls Royce and against Kano's side.
"Cheers," Kano said, apparently speaking to Seimei.
Seimei nodded in polite adieu, blessed Ritsuka with a thin but warm smile and glided away from the curb.
Disoriented, Ritsuka started toward the direction of the car and was again hauled back to Kano. He moved hastily back toward the house, Ritsuka being bodily forced along.
"Kano," Ritsuka said, slurring his name. "Seimei—"
Kano cut him off. "Yeah, about him… I need you to tell me what happened tonight."
Ritsuka snorted. He was awake enough to remember he was still pretty miffed at Kano withholding information from him. "And why should I tell you anything?"
"Because it's important. I told you that I would tell you what I found out when the moment came, and it has come. I'll tell you whether or not you decide to tell me first. But I can guarantee you'll want to."
They made their way into the foyer of The House. Kano closed and locked the door behind them and then helped Ritsuka out of his coat. Ritsuka was finally beginning to feel more awake by this point. He weighed the merits of withholding the information, then decided it wasn't really worth it. In the end, he supposed he did still trust Kano well enough.
He shrugged and opened his mouth to speak, but Kano pressed his index finger to his lips to issue quiet and then pointed toward the kitchen. "Some of the others are still awake."
Ritsuka nodded, then moved in closer to Kano to speak more softly. "Everything went fine. I didn't notice anything different or peculiar other than that Seimei seemed a little overly eager and like he'd never get enough."
Kano laughed ruefully and shook his head. Ritsuka had no idea what that meant.
"And I'm sure he jumped you the moment you were in the door. Am I right?" Kano asked, using the same tone.
Ritsuka blushed. "Well…if you want the whole truth, he jumped me before I was in the door."
Kano snorted. "Good God, it's worse than I thought. Or better than I thought."
"Look, Kano, tell me what you were going to tell me!" Ritsuka demanded, unable to handle all of Kano's cryptic comments and reactions.
Kano glanced around warily, like he was expecting Soubi himself to just pop out of the woodwork.
…which actually wasn't all that paranoid, now that Ritsuka thought about it. Soubi seemed like the kind of person who DID have eyes in the walls.
"Come upstairs. We'll talk in my room – my roommates are always watching a movie or something around this time." Kano took Ritsuka's hand and dragged him quickly up the stairs.
Once inside the room, Ritsuka expected Kano to close and lock the door yet again. Instead he marched straight in and sat on the lower bunk. He beckoned Ritsuka with an absent gesture. Before Ritsuka could close the door, Kano said, "Leave it. It's better when you're having a private conversation in this house to never do it behind a closed door. Anyone could happen upon our voices and pause for some juicy eavesdropping. Come over here. Sit."
The room was beginning to fill with morning light now, the beams pouring in through a space between the barely parted curtains and striking the floor in two intersecting lines. Ritsuka crossed over them and sat next to Kano. The mattress and thick comforter gave pleasantly beneath him.
"Am I going to find out why you kept this from me so long in the first place?" Ritsuka asked.
"Sure," said Kano. He was looking at Ritsuka almost wistfully. "Oh, Ritsuka. Forgive me for thinking that your head was stuffed full of clouds and wishing stars. It seems you aren't imagining any kind of special treatment from Seimei. It seems you've been right all along."
"What in the world are you on about?"
"I wish it weren't true, to tell the God honest truth," he rattled on, like Ritsuka hadn't spoken. "Selfishly, part of me wished Seimei would break your heart. Then I could collect all the pieces and mend them myself. Do you hate me for that?"
"I—" said Ritsuka again, then cut off when Kano grabbed hold of his upper arms.
"What everyone around here was keeping from you was nothing more than the less-than enjoyable time Youji and I spent in Seimei's company when he called on us for the night. And the reason it wasn't enjoyable? He didn't do anything. We didn't do anything. He only wanted to… to talk."
"Talk?"
"About you, no less."
"About….me?" Ritsuka felt stunned and blind sighted and….so absurdly happy that his heart could burst. "Seimei was….just….sitting there talking about me?"
"It was bit annoying, actually." Kano said, staring into the middle distance grumpily. "He's a good lay, Ritsuka…well, I don't need to tell you. And usually I enjoy when he picks me up, because I'll at least get a good orgasm out of the deal – "
Ritsuka winced with jealous hurt.
" – but this time, ever since he first met you….he hasn't touched anyone else. He just sits and asks about you. What are you like outside of your work? What kinds of foods do you like? Where did you come from? How old are you? Are you seeing anyone? And on and on and on. I've never, ever, seen Seimei turn down sex with a willing and attractive participant. And I've certainly never seen him ask personal questions about somebody he's been with."
Ritsuka decided to put his jealous hurt aside in favor of basking in the wonder of this revelation. Seimei didn't want to have sex with anyone but him-that's what he was getting out of this conversation. And what was more, he was interested in Ritsuka. Interested. Interested enough to ask about him.
It wasn't just Ritsuka seeing things. It wasn't just Seimei being his usual charming, polite self.
"But he does with you, Ritsuka. He turns down sex if it's not you. And God help me, I really think that there's a distinct possibility that he might really have feelings for you. The same way you have them for him."
Now Ritsuka was clutching at Kano's wrists. He actually winced.
"Ow, Ritsuka, that—"
"Do you mean that, Kano? You really mean that?"
Kano sighed, patiently prying Ritsuka's fingers out of his skin. "Of course I mean it. The absolute last thing I'd want to do is build up false hope in you. That's exactly why I refused to tell you before. Apparently, Seimei didn't do a whole lot of talking with Youji. The plan was to take him for sex. But Youji said that Seimei couldn't get into it, and he became angry and frustrated. Of course, this is Youji we're talking about here, and it's always Youji whose picked up when Seimei is angry and frustrated to begin with because Youji's the type to go for if you want it hard and rough and completely absent of foreplay."
"Too much information," Ritsuka said, flatly.
Kano shook his head. "But Ritsuka, the point is that I couldn't be sure if he just wasn't into Youji that night or was losing his appetite for rent boys altogether. When he booked my services, it was a blessing. I could see what was happening for myself."
"And with you, he only wanted to talk," Ritsuka said, slowly. He wanted to be sure he was clear on what he was hearing. "About me."
Kano ran all ten fingers through his hair, making it stick up like a pissed off porcupine. And he still looked good. "Right. Well, I won't lie, he did attempt to…" here he paused and glanced at Ritsuka's face. "You know. Attempted to make his money count for the night, but he only ever got as far as removing my coat and I could clearly see his mind was a million miles away."
Ritsuka was both afraid to ask his next question and afraid to not answer it. "And what happened then?"
"I told him that he looked like the last thing he wanted to do was fuck me. And then Seimei sighed and didn't say anything. And I could tell right then….right then, I could tell that something was up. I asked him if something was on his mind. And he just kind of laughed, but not in a happy way, and said something vague about how everyone has something on their minds all the time."
Yeah, that sounded like Seimei. Polite but closed.
"And so I asked him if he wanted to just bring me back to the House. And then he started in with all the questions about you."
Ritsuka turned this information over and over in his mind, looking for something that he was missing. Something that Kano was missing. Something that would explain how even if it looked like Seimei was falling for him, he wasn't. Ritsuka didn't want to find another explanation for Seimei's behavior, of course. He just didn't want to give in to the hopeful balloon rising inside his chest if it was only going to be popped later.
"I didn't want it to be true," Kano whispered. He was looking down at one of his hands. His nails glinted with green and blue confetti glitter polish. "I've never been so determined to hold on to someone as I have been to you." He looked up and smiled, but it was sad. Ritsuka felt a swell of sympathy tighten his throat. "But, I don't have to lose you. You aren't some prize to be won, and I'd rather have your friendship if nothing at all. And as your friend, I swear I'm going to help you any way that I can."
"Would you stop being so wonderful?" Ritsuka said, his voice too high.
"No, no, no, don't feel bad," Kano said quickly. "Never feel bad for being honest about your feelings. It's one of the things I like so much about you. I'm going to be just fine, you'll see." He patted Ritsuka's cheek affectionately. "Seimei is a very lucky man."
Ritsuka couldn't help but laugh weakly. "He's not actually lucky unless everything really is….like it seems it is."
"Well…" Kano said thoughtfully. "If it's not the way it seems it is, Seimei's an idiot. And then whether he's lucky or not is a moot point."
Ritsuka could only make a "hmm" kind of sound in reply.
"But, Ritsuka, I don't think I'm wrong about this. I think there's something there. Soubi's so freaking worried about it. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he really thinks Seimei is capable of loving somebody. But maybe he's thinking Seimei could start to think he could love you, find out he's just as incapable as Soubi believes he is, and then break your heart. This is getting so convoluted…anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that maybe I'm not the only one who sees potential here. Maybe Soubi does too, and that's why he's fighting so hard."
"I never thought about it like that before." He paused. "You don't think he's going to put me on probation again, right? Does he know about this?"
"Yeah," said Kano, his face growing dark. "He knows about what happened with Youji and with me. He honestly seemed a little excited about it. I think he may still be hopeful Seimei will come around and realize he has feelings for Soubi. Poor sucker."
"Are you going to tell him what happened tonight?"
Kano looked at him a long time. Finally, he nodded. "Yeah. I'm going to have to. It's very possible Seimei will only be asking for you from this point forward. It's going to become obvious. Better I'm upfront about it. If we play our cards right, things will be okay."
Ritsuka didn't have much faith in this plan. But Kano had helped him so far and maybe it was best for him to trust Kano in this instance. Kano knew Soubi better than Ritsuka did, after all.
Ritsuka sighed deeply. "If you say so. Kano, just…please understand how grateful I am for all of your help. And please understand that….if this doesn't work out with Seimei….I don't know what I'm going to do. I…."
I'm in love with him Ritsuka felt like saying, but it didn't seem fair to Kano or to Seimei if Kano was the first person to hear those words.
"I know," Kano said, and squeezed his hand. "I know."
TO BE CONTINUED...
-BC3 &Mgcmind